A knock about Cockney clown....

That's me in everyway; always cheerful, giggling, up to no good. I'm a thief; what can I say? How about 'Bull'? I am not the perky, little, happy go-lucky Queen everybody thinks I am. Sure, I'm smaller then most cats my age and I do get mistaken for a kitten at first glance, so does Misto. I am a Queen; I'm sure of that. So is Mungo. I mean, he's sure that I'm a Queen; not, he is a Queen. We don't want any rumors flying around, now do we? But... yeah. I don't know. I am what they see me as, but somehow it just doesn't feel like that's who I am.

I know; I should know what I'm like, no one's with me more then me. That's the thing; I'm usually not with myself. Confusing, isn't it. I'm not sure who I am anymore. That's probably the better way to put it. I spent so much of my life working for Macavity that I got messed up. I would lie to the cats I shared an alley with about what I was doing and where I was going, I'd have to lie about myself when I went undercover as a spy for him. I'd need a whole new life when that happened. The Junkyard was lucky enough to get another one of my personalities, so did the humans who took me in. Although, I did bless the Yard with the Cockney accent. Sometimes I have to pretend that I'm Mungojerrie when Macavity sends me on a run. I was always his little ball of clay; when he was done using me for something, he's crush me, reshape me and I'd be different. Some where's along the way I suppose that I just lost myself.

I did try to find myself sometimes. You know, just get away from everyone for a day or so and see what I do. They always come looking for me, especially Mungojerrie. He worries about me too much and he knows who he is. He was never sent undercover at a different spot every week. I tried to meditate to see if that did anything. It gave me the best sleep I ever had in Cat knows when, but I was still the fake I was when I started. I even went to Coricopat and Tantomile to see if they could find me somewhere in my mind, it was worth a shot. But my mind, apparently, is too scattered for them to concentrate on. So it's all up to me.

I woke up sometimes remembering what I was like, so I tried to be like the old me again. But I felt like I was supposed to be on stage acting with Gus. I think I just dreamt of one of my alias; I was faker then Tugger's mane. I don't know, maybe I'm not suppose to go back to my old life, maybe I'm cursed to be like this forever. An empty shell who can't get rid of an accent, no matter how hard I try. I did manage once, it felt weird talking with out it and it made all the other cats laugh. But I miss me; I want to be who I used to be. I felt happy back then. Not that I'm not happy now, I just never had to make myself smile like I do now. It was natural, my current one is forced.

I suppose that it is easier to be who they think I am instead of trying to prove them wrong. I only wish someday I'll grow into me and learn to be happy again...

A/N: that came out rather nicely. I had no idea what to do with Rumpel, I was lost in a sea of.... Lost people? Anyways, I wrote the first little tid-bit and was going to stop when I figured that I should keep going before I drown in the people.... I need a better simile for next time.

So I had the drama meeting, me and Tracey really want to do the Broadway Review but now we (The group) are talking about doing The Christmas Carol. I don't know. I rather do the review. And I'd rather go as Rumpelteazer to the Halloween Dance but if I can only find black spandex I'll have to alter it and go as Jemima. They're both cute so I win either way. I need to re-dye my hair too; the pink's washing out on top... Bah.

Kassoro – Sorry I missed you last time. Woopsie. You never know. If you can get super-hero powers from a spider; why not allergies? It could work.

Super Poet Gurl – I must say; your reviewing habits have greatly improved. I'm very proud of you. As for my room it's 'on the top of his pile.' Yeah...

Chimalmaht – Yeah, then we'd be talking about him in English class... I'm serious. Our teacher has their fetish with talking about psycho people. Like that woman who drowned her seven kids, the guy from 'Tell-tale Heart', mass murderers, stoning people. She's starting to scare me. I want to see 'Guys and Dolls.' Can you get me a ticket to it? And directions to... where ever it is you live, well go to school. And a few days to drive there possibly fly. We'll work it out later.

Jing – Could you wait? I hope you could because you had no choice. Sorry.

Tie Kerl – That is creepy. Do you have one on Thursday too? I want to see that too. The school band went to see it some years ago and we have a poster from it in the Music Room. He does kind of ac lie a brainless idiot sometimes in the move though... But he could have been acting. Which is probable; considering that it is a play. I need to find me a copy of JCS and watch it...

Lozzypop – Yeah, there's more then one side to every cat. He needed another one... or at least I thought so. I kind of based it on my situation, except I want to be on stage and my parents want me to be a Mime. Okay, that's a lie. They want me to do something more... practical with my life. And I'm sure that nobody saw the 'smart' Tugger coming. I mean, someone might have, but not everybody. I'm glad that you liked it.

Do you know the Munchkin Man, the Munchkin Man, the Munchkin Man? Do you know the Munchkin Man who lives in Munchkin Land?