A/N: Basically just a light-hearted Sango and Miroku one-shot. Please read and pop in a review while you're at it! This is set before Volume 30. Thanks. (PS: This has been edited).
FULL SUMMARY: The IY gang takes a break for a week in Kaede's village. Miroku is getting desperate, while Sango is available. He has 7 days to win her heart, or at least her cooperation. Let the courtship begin! SangoMiroku, One-shot, Humor
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.
7 WAYS TO GET HER TO BEAR YOUR CHILD
DAY ONE: The direct approach. Upfront. Hold nothing back.
"Sango..."
"Yes, Miroku?"
"Will you bear my child?"
He felt the painful smack of Sango's king-sized boomerang burying his head two feet down into the ground.
There was a slight tugging at his robes before Shippo's voice called out to him.
"Are you alright, Miroku?"
"Yef. Zif in't the firf 'ime."
His voice was slightly muffled by the dirt.
"Ouch. That was harsh, Sango," Inuyasha commented with a grin decorating his features.
The hanyou soon found himself joining Miroku in the dirt.
DAY TWO: Flowers are the way to a lady's heart.
"Daisies, for you m'lady."
"Miroku, these are weeds."
Oops.
"Um, what I meant is, cleared the flower fields of weeds to allow proper growth. Now hold on to these for me while I go cut the grass, and do consider bearing my child."
He knew he should've just bought some.
DAY THREE: Jewelry! That'll snag her for sure
Sango walked into her room, having just taken a relaxing bath. At that moment, her mind was set on only one thing: sleeping.
The glimmer of a small object in the corner of the room, next to her futon, caught her eye.
She opened her mouth slightly in shock, realizing what it was.
Lying under the gem was a note, with hastily-scribbled writing on it.
'For my dearest Sango, who is worth more than all the precious stone in the world.'
Her eyes narrowed, anger ablaze.
"Miroku! Return this Shikon jewel to Kagome this instant!"
DAY FOUR: Breakfast in bed.
"Oi Miroku, what's the occasion?"
"Just a well-deserved breakfast for the lovely Sango. You must be starved."
She blinked for a moment, before she allowed a small smile to grace her porcelain face.
"I am. Thank you, houshi. That was sweet of you."
It was working!
"Miroku?"
"Hm?"
"Would you like to eat something as well?"
"Come to think of it, yes. I'd like to eat you," he responded suggestively.
Three minutes later, he was tied to a tree.
Correction, it was working until the cheesy, perverted punchline spewed forth.
Miroku's stomach growled in protest and he pouted to himself.
If he knew it was going to turn out like this, he would've eaten that breakfast himself.
DAY FIVE: Commitment.
"Sango... "
"What is it, houshi?"
"Will you marry me?"
"I will not sleep with you."
Drat.
Note to self: this method does not work on clever women.
DAY SIX: Sympathy for the injured.
"Oh my beautiful Sango, my hand is broken."
"Eh? Get Kaede to heal it."
"But no woman has a more loving touch than that of yourself."
"Fine. Does it hurt... here?"
"Ah! Yes! Pain, pain is surging through my veins. How excruciating!... Oh me oh my!"
"Houshi..."
"... um, ow."
"Houshi... "
"Hm?"
"How can your hand be broken when it's groping my ass!?"
"Eheh, your miracle touch it must be. I am healed!"
Miroku would have even more broken limbs that night.
LAST DAY, LAST RESORT: This isn't working... abandon all instincts as Miroku.
"Sango, forgive me."
"Hrm?"
"For the past six days."
"It's alright, houshi. You don't need to be sorry."
He looked hopeful.
"Do you really mean that?"
"Are you really sorry?"
Ignore instincts. Think opposite of who you are. Opposite, opposite! Oh fishbelly, Forget it.
"Ah! No, it was all just so much fun!" Miroku blurted out.
He let out a defeated sigh, and turned around, preparing to walk away until a tug at his robes stopped him.
He looked over his shoulder at a chuckling Sango.
"These tricks of yours... "
He couldn't suppress his snort.
"Which one, the Shikon or the weeds?"
"All of them."
"Mhmm. Yes? What about those miserable failures?"
"I don't think they were a failure."
His jaw was threatening to drop.
"What are you implying?"
"Are you dense? I'm giving you a chance."
He blinked. Once. Twice. And then the words finally came to him.
"I don't know what to say."
"How about your trademark, 'Will you bear my child?'"
She grinned at him, and he smiled back lopsidedly.
"I think I already know the answer to that one, though."
"Don't push it."
"Of course."
The two walked hand-in-hand towards no destination in particular.
Both were blissfully lost in thought.
Until the thought finally struck Miroku.
Why had he not done this on day one?
The irony – or rather, just plain bad luck. Oh well.
It didn't matter anymore.
Because she was worth it in the end.
END