Title: Brave
Author: Lioness Black
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Characters don't belong to me, as you know.
Challenge: It's the eve of Regulus's impending death. He has begun to realize his mistake, and knows he doesn't have much time left. Who does he spend his last night with?
Regulus knew he couldn't go back to his flat. He couldn't go home, he couldn't go to any of his friends - or those who he once thought were friends. He was alone now, but he realized then that he had always been alone.
He couldn't say the words. He tried, but it wasn't in him. And now he was going to pay.
Regulus found himself wandering the streets of London on the cold January night. He hadn't ever really been anywhere, living a sheltered life of the well to do son, and he certainly hadn't been in the Muggle inhabited areas. He was lost, literally and emotionally.
What would Sirius do? Regulus asked himself. Sirius always knew what to do. But then again, Sirius wouldn't be wandering frozen streets, hiding from his enemies. He would face them, do what it takes to live, but be willing to die.
But that's not me! I'm not brave like him! The only reason I joined was to please my parents. I didn't want to end up like Sirius, cast aside in the family. I was afraid, I was scared of Mother and Father, and now I'm scared of the Dark Lord.
He had murdered Muggles. He had conjured the Dark Mark above homes, and pathetic Muggles had no idea what struck them.
It wasn't that bad, taking a life. He had always heard how inferior Muggles were to wizards. It was part of his life, to know that he was above them. So to kill one? It was like squashing a bug, a souless, purposeless being. It was nothing.
But to kill an Auror? A fellow wizard?
There was no way, the thought made him sick. The Dark Lord wasn't there, thank the stars, but of course he heard. Regulus left before the order was sent. He knew, though, what the order would be. He did not have the nerve to kill one, how could he have the nerve to kill another?
It wasn't as if this were only the thoughts of the Dark Lord and the other Death Eaters. Regulus knew it too. He didn't think he ever wanted to kill anyone again. Even Muggles.
How stupid could he have been? It seemed right, being a pureblood and being proud of it, but so did killing Muggles. But now - what was so different?
He looked at a dim light through the rapidly falling snow. A pub. He drew his cloak around him and went inside. He peered around, curious of his new surroundings. The Muggle pub looked exactly like wizarding pubs. More like the Hog's Head, a little rough around the edges.
He sat at the bar and the bartender looked at him. "What can I get you, stranger?"
"Firewhiskey," he said, his cold throat hoarse.
"A what?"
"Whiskey," he repeated, a little clearer.
"Right, then." He poured Regulus the drink.
Regulus, keeping his head bowed, took a sip. Good, but not nearly as strong as he was used to. However, it warmed him just as quickly as any decent Firewhiskey.
"Enjoying your drink?"
Regulus choked. The whiskey burned against the back of his throat. "You!" he said between coughs. He could barely see through his watering eyes.
"Yep." Alastor Moody sat down next to him. He motioned for the bartender. "I'll have whatever he's got there."
The bartender poured another whiskey.
"How did you know where I was?" Regulus asked. And why am I not caught and dead? He kept that to himself.
"You wander around the same three blocks for an hour, you're easy to spot." Moody ignored the whiskey before him and took a swig from his hip flask.
Three blocks? It seemed like miles. Regulus downed the rest of his drink. "Why are you sitting here drinking with me -"
"Why aren't you on your way to the Ministry? Looking forward to a life in Azkaban?"
Unsure of which question he was answering, he didn't answer at all.
"You know who I am, don't you, boy?" Moody looked at him, staring him down.
Regulus looked away. He had learned enough about Legimency from Severus to know it when he saw it. "I know you."
"You had your wand pointed right at me. I saw Lady Lestange, she was yelling at you."
"Bella," Regulus muttered, rubbing his hands over his face.
Moody paused, taking another drink from his flask. "You were supposed to kill me, but you didn't. You deliberately disobeyed a direct order. I'm not the one you should be worrying about, Black."
Regulus sighed. "I know."
"You've got choices. Choices aren't something I usually give people, especially scum like you, but you've got a situation that most don't. You've got a price on your head from the leader you served. You can come with me and face life in Azkaban with the dementors. Or, stay out here, be caught, as you know you will, and die."
"How do you know I'd be caught by them?" Regulus asked through gritted teeth.
"Because they're smarter than you," Moody replied, sounding nearly good natured.
"I suppose. It was stupid not to kill you. If I had, I could have just kept on doing it. But I couldn't kill another wizard."
"But you could kill all the Muggles that you did?" Moody was whispering, avoiding the strange glances of the bartender.
"It's not the same!"
"It's exactly the same! Damn you, Black, are you so dumb in the head that you can't even see that people are people? You've had that pureblood bullshit shoved in your head for so long that you believed it, didn't you?"
"Look," Regulus snapped, "I'm not Sirius. I'm not strong like him, I couldn't stand up to it like he did. We've always been different, and it won't ever change!"
"Is that it, boy? You resented your brother so you become a bloody Death Eater?" Moody boomed a cold laugh.
"I'm leaving. I'd rather die than put up with this for another minute." Regulus stood and walked out of the pub. He stormed down the street. As he ran from the pub on the slippery streets, he could still hear the booming laughter of Moody.
Yes, it was going to end soon. He messed up with the Death Eaters, he messed up with Sirius, and he could never get either of them back.
It was better to be dead than spend the rest of his life wallowing in his mistakes. For the first time, Regulus was going to be brave.
Author: Lioness Black
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Characters don't belong to me, as you know.
Challenge: It's the eve of Regulus's impending death. He has begun to realize his mistake, and knows he doesn't have much time left. Who does he spend his last night with?
Regulus knew he couldn't go back to his flat. He couldn't go home, he couldn't go to any of his friends - or those who he once thought were friends. He was alone now, but he realized then that he had always been alone.
He couldn't say the words. He tried, but it wasn't in him. And now he was going to pay.
Regulus found himself wandering the streets of London on the cold January night. He hadn't ever really been anywhere, living a sheltered life of the well to do son, and he certainly hadn't been in the Muggle inhabited areas. He was lost, literally and emotionally.
What would Sirius do? Regulus asked himself. Sirius always knew what to do. But then again, Sirius wouldn't be wandering frozen streets, hiding from his enemies. He would face them, do what it takes to live, but be willing to die.
But that's not me! I'm not brave like him! The only reason I joined was to please my parents. I didn't want to end up like Sirius, cast aside in the family. I was afraid, I was scared of Mother and Father, and now I'm scared of the Dark Lord.
He had murdered Muggles. He had conjured the Dark Mark above homes, and pathetic Muggles had no idea what struck them.
It wasn't that bad, taking a life. He had always heard how inferior Muggles were to wizards. It was part of his life, to know that he was above them. So to kill one? It was like squashing a bug, a souless, purposeless being. It was nothing.
But to kill an Auror? A fellow wizard?
There was no way, the thought made him sick. The Dark Lord wasn't there, thank the stars, but of course he heard. Regulus left before the order was sent. He knew, though, what the order would be. He did not have the nerve to kill one, how could he have the nerve to kill another?
It wasn't as if this were only the thoughts of the Dark Lord and the other Death Eaters. Regulus knew it too. He didn't think he ever wanted to kill anyone again. Even Muggles.
How stupid could he have been? It seemed right, being a pureblood and being proud of it, but so did killing Muggles. But now - what was so different?
He looked at a dim light through the rapidly falling snow. A pub. He drew his cloak around him and went inside. He peered around, curious of his new surroundings. The Muggle pub looked exactly like wizarding pubs. More like the Hog's Head, a little rough around the edges.
He sat at the bar and the bartender looked at him. "What can I get you, stranger?"
"Firewhiskey," he said, his cold throat hoarse.
"A what?"
"Whiskey," he repeated, a little clearer.
"Right, then." He poured Regulus the drink.
Regulus, keeping his head bowed, took a sip. Good, but not nearly as strong as he was used to. However, it warmed him just as quickly as any decent Firewhiskey.
"Enjoying your drink?"
Regulus choked. The whiskey burned against the back of his throat. "You!" he said between coughs. He could barely see through his watering eyes.
"Yep." Alastor Moody sat down next to him. He motioned for the bartender. "I'll have whatever he's got there."
The bartender poured another whiskey.
"How did you know where I was?" Regulus asked. And why am I not caught and dead? He kept that to himself.
"You wander around the same three blocks for an hour, you're easy to spot." Moody ignored the whiskey before him and took a swig from his hip flask.
Three blocks? It seemed like miles. Regulus downed the rest of his drink. "Why are you sitting here drinking with me -"
"Why aren't you on your way to the Ministry? Looking forward to a life in Azkaban?"
Unsure of which question he was answering, he didn't answer at all.
"You know who I am, don't you, boy?" Moody looked at him, staring him down.
Regulus looked away. He had learned enough about Legimency from Severus to know it when he saw it. "I know you."
"You had your wand pointed right at me. I saw Lady Lestange, she was yelling at you."
"Bella," Regulus muttered, rubbing his hands over his face.
Moody paused, taking another drink from his flask. "You were supposed to kill me, but you didn't. You deliberately disobeyed a direct order. I'm not the one you should be worrying about, Black."
Regulus sighed. "I know."
"You've got choices. Choices aren't something I usually give people, especially scum like you, but you've got a situation that most don't. You've got a price on your head from the leader you served. You can come with me and face life in Azkaban with the dementors. Or, stay out here, be caught, as you know you will, and die."
"How do you know I'd be caught by them?" Regulus asked through gritted teeth.
"Because they're smarter than you," Moody replied, sounding nearly good natured.
"I suppose. It was stupid not to kill you. If I had, I could have just kept on doing it. But I couldn't kill another wizard."
"But you could kill all the Muggles that you did?" Moody was whispering, avoiding the strange glances of the bartender.
"It's not the same!"
"It's exactly the same! Damn you, Black, are you so dumb in the head that you can't even see that people are people? You've had that pureblood bullshit shoved in your head for so long that you believed it, didn't you?"
"Look," Regulus snapped, "I'm not Sirius. I'm not strong like him, I couldn't stand up to it like he did. We've always been different, and it won't ever change!"
"Is that it, boy? You resented your brother so you become a bloody Death Eater?" Moody boomed a cold laugh.
"I'm leaving. I'd rather die than put up with this for another minute." Regulus stood and walked out of the pub. He stormed down the street. As he ran from the pub on the slippery streets, he could still hear the booming laughter of Moody.
Yes, it was going to end soon. He messed up with the Death Eaters, he messed up with Sirius, and he could never get either of them back.
It was better to be dead than spend the rest of his life wallowing in his mistakes. For the first time, Regulus was going to be brave.