Harry Potter and the Stereotypical Fandoms

AN: Hello and welcome to the stereotypes that I see in fandoms all the time. This is supposed to be bad as I try to recreate stupid things that appear in almost every fic.

Warnings for language and Slash. Don't like, don't complain if you read. Don't understand the code? Have you been living under a rock?

Rating..... Well yeah, what can I say?

Thanks to my beta Sike (formerly Friend of a friend).

Hey I forgot the disclaimer. If I owned Harry Potter, the world would be a better place because I would get off my ass and write those books!

Chapter 1 Harry/Draco Part 1

Harry Potter returned to Hogwarts for his seventh and final year. He was feeling insecure about having to kill Voldemort. Hermione and Ron had hooked up over the summer, as well as every other student in Gryffindor. They were now all paired up nicely.

"Say Harry" Hermione said. She seemed to have morphed into a preppy model, instead of her usual bookworm self. Over one summer she grew a large chest, changed eye colour and hair type, hair style, style of dressing and much more. "We need to find you a girl because you're the only one of us without a boyfriend or girlfriend"

"Yeah mate" Ron said, because he always has to back Hermione. "You need a girl"

"I don't know about that..." Harry said, "I'm feeling a bit insecure in my sexuality right now, but check back later"

"Righto" said Ron and he and Hermione went back to making puppy eyes at each other. Dean and Seamus were holding hands and whispering to each other.

Harry glanced across the Hall and noticed Draco Malfoy was looking pale and sickly. For some random, inexplicable reason, he cared. He met Malfoy's eyes and they both blushed like sixteenth century schoolgirls and looked away.

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Harry got out of bed at 1:04 am and decided to go out for a jaunt to prove that he could break whatever school rules he wanted and Dumbledore wouldn't care because Harry was his golden boy anyway, so Harry threw on his invisibility cloak and wandered off into the dark halls to encounter, no doubt, some dark mysterious figure to defeat heroically.

Harry snuck through the common room of snogging couples and made his way to the entrance way, where he decided to go out onto the grounds. He descended the path and strolled around the lake where he saw Malfoy sitting under a tree, reading a book. Assuming the ice prince would welcome his company, Harry called softly:

"Malfoy?" Draco swore and spun around.

"Merlin Potter" Draco said. "Sod off"

"Look Malfoy" Harry said "You didn't eat at dinner and you're looking pale and hurt. Would you care to tell me why? I want your life story"

"Ummm no" Draco said. Harry looked shocked.

"Why won't you tell me?" asked Harry. It was Draco's turn to look shocked.

"Because I hate you and I never talk to you" Draco supplied. He shivered from the cold and snowy sheets of hair fell across his face. How Harry longed to touch it. Harry meanwhile was having a breakdown about sexuality and love. He knew he loved Malfoy, sure it was new and random, but the feeling was so strong Harry burst from his prejudiced skin and flew into the golden hall of love.[AN: vomit]

"Malfoy" Harry said, "It was your father wasn't it? He's a sadistic bastard and he's been abusing you since birth"

"No" Draco said.

"Oh, well then he's been ignoring you, giving you the cold shoulder and pushing you into getting good grades and playing quidditch even though you don't want to"

"No" said Draco again.

"Oh Malfoy.....it was your mother, she abused you and you're embarrassed about it"

"NO!!" Draco said and he got up. He noticed Potter stood too. He took in the way that Quidditch over the summer had toned Harry even though it is always said that he was skinny and played Quidditch for 6 years and it had never toned him before. Wow, Draco thought, the flyaway hair is so cute. Ew what am I thinking, about Potter, ew!! I have to go and rethink my loyalties as well as my sexuality....Jeez......

"You're depressed about having to join Voldemort's side like your father!! You don't really want to kill people, or be a Death Eater!" Harry said loudly, also getting to his feet.

"NO!!" Draco yelled, "What the fuck is the matter with you?!?!? Can't I just be pale and alone without a reason? Why do I have to have suffered trauma? Can't I just be my own snarky self?"

"No" Harry said, "There must be a reason, Malfoy I feel your pain!" Harry said, taking him by the shoulders. He started at the slight body, because Draco has to be smaller than Harry.

"There isn't, only that you won't let me go inside, so unhand me Potter!!"

"Look Draco, I'd like to be friends..." Harry said. Draco, Harry thought, when did he become Draco.

Draco, Draco thought, when did I become Draco? "Screw off Potter, you co-dependant wanker let me go!!" Draco gazed into Potter's emerald pools of light.

Harry gasped as Draco's silver orbs met his jade prisms. "Please Draco, please don't hate me!" Harry pleaded in a choked voice. Draco was shocked at the caring that emanated from Harry's words. He cares about me, Draco thought, that's new.

"Potter I don't hate you" Draco said steadily. Harry's heart skipped a beat and he continued gazing into Draco's eyes, what were usually silver were now a stormy grey with emotion. They continued to gaze into each other's eyes.

Harry broke the mounting sexual tension by pressing his lips to Draco's. Draco's eyes widened in shock. Harry suddenly broke the kiss and fled up to the castle.

Harry's P.O.V.

Harry ran into his room and wrenched the hangings shut around his bed lest anyone wake up to see the stupid grin on his face. Vanilla, why does he taste like vanilla [AN: OMG!! If no one ever uses that line again it will be too soon. Why does Draco always have to smell like vanilla? Who the fuck smells like vanilla anyway?] I kissed him, oh no, our friendship is ruined, he said he didn't hate me, so I now know he loves me!!!! Wait...

Draco's P.O.V.

Spices, particularly cinnamon why does he smell so good. [AN Harry always smells like cinnamon], but beneath that something entirely his own. [AN why do people in fics go around smelling people??] But he kissed me, does he regret it? Will he ever face me again??

AN To be continued!! Or not to be, review and tell me. Please review!!!! Please!!!! Look at the pretty button!! So nice and shiny!! Press it!!