Hey there... Here's Lady Manson with a message for humanity... I don't own FF7 SO? Got a problem with that? No... Good ... ON WITH THE SHOW!!!
In Square Enix's lounge, the cast of final fantasy 7 was having a party to celebrate how people still liked them and how the game was still very popular. But somehow it seemed they were very bored.
"Cloud... Do something..." Tifa said as Cloud raised a brow at her. All there was in the place was a cheap band and most of the cast members were attacking the snack table.
"Who the hell do you think I am...? Jay Leno?" Cloud asked as he slowly drank from a glass of wine while watching Vincent trying to make Yuffie believe he left all his materia at home.
"Well, no, but... I thought that we could do something to make this party livelier..." She said with a sigh. So far, the people that worked hard in the design of the game and the high executives of Square Enix were as bored as they were.
"I think Tifa is right Cloud... this is pretty pathetic... and boring..." Aeris said watching the Turks getting very very drunk in the bar. They were trying to see which of them was going to be the first to faint due to alcohol excess.
"To tell the truth.... I am pretty bored myself..." Cloud said looking at his armlet and wondering if he could ditch the party. He thought on getting Barret mad, but that was dangerous, maybe making Cid upset by saying he was gay. But that wasn't working either. Cloud looked to the side and saw Hojo talking to Lucrecia and Lucrecia not paying attention to Hojo's stupid ramblings. He looked a little further and saw two figures that were standing lonely in a corner... one was Sephiroth, the other one, someone he had never seen, a young woman about his age and who had Dark green long hair and blue eyes. She was sitting in Sephiroth's same table and wasn't even talking to him. Cloud decided to do something good for him and maybe introduce him to the weird woman that seemed almost in the edge of death. Then he thought he would be making a favor to Sephiroth, but since the wine was the one thinking, he went and sat beside them both.
"Hey there..." he said as he saw the green haired yawn.
"Hello..." She said more lively now.
"I'm Cloud... who are you?" In a corner, Tifa was dying of jealousy and Aeris was playing with a flower, oblivious to everything around her.
"I am Iyoku..." She said looking at the blonde guy with a building blush due to too much alcohol.
"Iyoku... nice name... what does it mean?"
"Desire..." She said, Sephiroth raised his head and looked at her. Then he looked at Cloud.
"Well.. Iyoku, here's my good friend and life partner... I am his clone you know... He is Sephiroth... but we call him Sephy, because it bothers him..." Cloud said as the silver haired looked at him straight.
"O...K...- She said looking at Sephiroth and then at the flying napkin on the place where Cloud once was.- He left..."
"He trends to do that..." Sephiroth said.
"Wow..." She said fascinated.
"Yeah... the wonders of nature..." Sephiroth said making her smile.
"You are pretty sarcastic..." She said as she looked at the Ex-SOLDIER... full time psycho beside her.
"Nah... I am a teddy bear..." He said with a sigh.
"I highly doubt it...- She then looked at all the bored people.- This is pretty boring." She said very casual.
"Indeed..."Sephiroth said looking at how Elena was making a pyramid out of Tequila shots. She had 6 levels so far. Iyoku looked at Sephiroth and then smiled widely, with something within her now evil looking gasp.
"What are you planning...?" He asked, maybe anything could be better than what was going on in that place.
"I was thinking it could be fun to have an improvised Karaoke night... I mean, it is fun to see people humiliated...." Iyoku said as she panned it all in her evil little head.
"Hmm.... I like the idea..." He said thinking that he for once was up for seeing anything better than just watching Jenova in her cage playing Uno with the four Weapons and munching on some cocktail wieners.
"Say... do you know how to improvise?" Sephiroth looked at the girl and then understood the purpose of the question. There was a band, but no Karaoke machine, so... they either knew the song by heart or just ripped it off mocking it.
"Oh yes... I have a little something..." Sepiroth said as he thought on how he was going to get away with it. Iyoku looked at him and smiled widely. Since the moment his father worked in the design of the villain of Final Fantasy 7, she was more than sure he based himself in her to build him. Now she was sure.
"I like the way your evil mind turns...." She said standing up and he stood up beside her.
"Just worry yourself in making a good host, and I may not make you pay..." Sephiroth warned her with a raised brow within his stalactite hair spikes.
"That works for me..." Iyoku said walking away with Sephiroth. Cloud in the other hand was sitting now in a Table with most of AVALANCHE and Aeris. They were playing soccer with a napkin ball. Cloud heard a success theme when he saw Sephiroth disappearing with the girl.
"At least he found something to do..." Cloud said smiling silly.
"Way to go, Cloud... you helped Sephiroth... the purpose was you to find something to entertain us with..." Tifa said frowning.
"Now I have it with her... She thinks I am Jim Carrey or something... You know I am human too..." He said as Aeris laughed her ass out because every time Tifa opened her mouth Cloud went all sarcastic with her. Of course, that made her so mad.
"You are hardly a person..." Tifa said as Cloud looked at her a little out of himself. Somehow that was an out of place quote. But before he could say something, the place went dark and everyone went to silence.
"Good evening...- Cloud saw Iyoku with a mic on hand and stepping in the stage of the place.- Here we have some fun. I guess... Let's make it an Improvised Karaoke party... Here comes the first brave one... put it together for the great Sephiroth..." All the people looked at the Stiff Psycho take the mic and be in the spotlight.
"Sephiroth is such an attention hugger... I will sing too..." Yuffie said as Vincent plainly rolled his eyes and thanked goodness she was not asking for materia anymore.
"Hey... I hope you like this... I wanted to sing Right Said Fred's 'I'm too sexy'...- Everyone looked wide eyed at him.- But unfortunately I forgot the lyrics. So... Here you have a slightly different version... from Me, Right Said Sephiroth... I'm too sexy... Final Fantasy style..." Hojo looked at him as if it was something that a world class psycho shouldn't do. The band looked at each other and then started playing the song. And here is the weird version of I'm too sexy in the words of a psycho.
"I'm too sexy for my job
Too Sexy for my job
boss, you're going to kill me
I'm too sexy to be dead
too sexy to be dead
so sexy it scares Hand on abs
And I'm too sexy for Midgar
to sexy for Midgar
Junnon and for Khalm Pointing at places on a world Map that came from God knows were
And I'm too sexy for your planet
too sexy for your planet
Be sure I'm gonna trash it
I'm a psycho you know what I mean
and I do my little scheme on the crater
On the crater
On the crater Yeah
I sketch my little Scheme on the crater Moving the ass sexily
I'm too sexy for my dad
too sexy for my dad
too sexy By far
And I'm too sexy for a lab
too sexy for a lab
Hojo, think about that...Points at wide eyed Hojo
I'm a psycho, you know what I mean
and I do my little scheme on the crater
On the crater
On the crater Yeah
I sketch my little scheme on the crater more sexy almost strip like dancing
Too sexy for my...
Too sexy for my...
too sexy for my...
I'm a psycho, you know what I mean
and I do my little scheme on the crater
On the crater
On the crater Yeah
I sketch my little scheme on the crater Takes off cloak
I'm too sexy for Jenova
Too sexy for Jenova
Poor freaky, poor freaky hag...
And I'm too sexy for my sword
too sexy for My sword
Cloud's just going to Kill me...
And I'm too sexy for this song..." And Sephiroth was done with his song, receiving something between claps and laughter because no one expected the serious Sephiroth to sing something both so stupid and so interesting. Iyoku came back to the stage and took a deep breath before speaking.
"Well... he's too sexy... that much I got... Anyone else wants to try their luck? If so, come to me... I will be there in the table beside the sexy guy..." And she left the band and walked back to where Sephiroth was.
"Damn... I thought he was insane... now all doubt has been wiped from me..." Vincent said as he looked at all the guys now planning on what song to trash and make fun off. It was now looking better on the sucky party for FF7.
If you ever wondered what Sephiroth did all that time in the crater, now you know he was trashing a song. Hope you enjoyed it and I better tell you, you are not too Sexy for a review. Please Review and NO FLAMES... And I'm too sexy for this fic! Laters...