A Shadow Tribe Story
Part Two
by: Yuuki Miyaka
"And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am." -GooGoo Dolls
Ebony didn't stop running for a long time, long enough to be far away from Wayfarer Holt. And when she did stop, she burst into tears, crying as if her heart would break. She had lost control of herself, had lost herself in her hatred in front of Windrunner. And now, even if he still liked her somewhat, he would take their child and leave the tribe when it was born. He wouldn't leave the care of a cub in her hands.
She stared out into the woods, racking sobs burning her eyes and chest, keeping her from truly seeing the forest around her. He would make her leave, would do something to her. She just didn't know yet what. It wasn't fair. He didn't even understand why she hated humans so much. He couldn't. She had never once told him what they had done to her, how they had destroyed her tribe, had slaughtered her mother right in front of her, and that she could do nothing about it.
"He can't judge me like this!" Ebony yelled in anger. It never once occurred to her that he was not judging her at all, that she was the one thinking such awful things about herself.
"What do you mean, you don't know where she's gone? We have to find her!" Starsong's anxious words were having a curious effect on Windrunner. He agreed with the songshaper, desperately wanted to go hunting Ebony, but something held him back, something he couldn't quite name. And as the others chattered the same ideas, he spoke up.
"No." Quiet fell on the gathering, and everyone stared up at the firstborn. Windrunner felt distinctly uncomfortable in their gazes. "She chose to leave. She will choose to return. Until then, we wait for her here." No one argued with him. Perhaps they could all feel his conviction. Or perhaps they were slightly afraid of going after her themselves. Even Winterleaf was quiet, though her jaw was set in anger.
Having spoken his say, Windrunner turned to leave, only to find Winterleaf suddenly blocking the door. "I say we go find her." The cub stared up at Windrunner, putting her will behind her words and gaze, and Windrunner felt the beginnings of a Challenge arise. He stared back, knowing that he could quell the Challenge, could win it with little effort. It was painful to watch Winterleaf's eyes glance away from him, though. "You have heard my words." It was his parting to them, and it was the hardest thing he had ever had to say.
Ebony sat in her room, crying. They were silent tears streaming down her face, but they were there, and she was ashamed of them. It was too much to bear.
It had taken little effort to use her hunting skills to sneak into her own den. Now she sat there, hoping that no one ever really saw her again. She was hurt and angry and confused. She didn't even really know what was going on. It was all a blur to her.
After a while, Ebony stood, planning to pack her things and leave. But just as she did that, a dark form barred the doorway. Ebony stared up at the figure of Windrunner standing in the doorway. His face was grim, as it had never been before. Ebony angrily swiped the tears from her eyes, turning her back on Windrunner in anger and fear. She didn't want to see how he felt about her now. She didn't need the hate in his eyes.
Windrunner stood quietly at the doorway, waiting to be invited in. He wasn't going to let her leave without a fight. She had become important to him, too important to just let go so easily. Instead, he waited, wondering what she could possibly be thinking after such a show. But finally, he was the one who broke the silence.
"I'd really rather you stayed here." The words were quiet, gentle, but the tone behind them was not. His authority had finally come to the front, and it stayed there, testament to the fact that he was used to being obeyed. Ebony wondered about that, but did not comment.
"There's nothing for me, here. I would only hurt the tribe if I stayed." Her eyes didn't meet his, and he knew that he would have to fight with all of his will to make her stay. He was fortunate that his will was strong. Finally, she tried to explain her reasoning. "You just can't understand, Windrunner. It's not as if I haven't tried to fit in. But I just can't. I'm not made to live in a tribe like the rest of you are. There's too much pain here."
Windrunner nodded, moving inside the lair to sit on a small outcropping of rock. "If that's the case, then why did you stay here? Why not just leave from the beginning?" His soft brown eyes held a world of concern for her, and she responded to that concern as she would have to his love. She turned away, holding herself as she tried to explain her reasons to him.
Windrunner listened to her attempts, slowly realizing what she was talking about, though she was making little sense. And when she was done, he summed it up for her. "You hate humans because they slaughtered your tribe, and your mother in front of you?" She nodded, looking very weak and helpless. He wanted to go to her, to comfort her, but he had to make her see, had to make her understand that what she had done to the human was wrong, just as it was wrong of them to kill her tribe.
"Ebony, can you understand that it's not right, this hatred of yours?" He was hoping the direct approach would work well, but he couldn't be sure.
"It's no more wrong than what they did to me." Ebony's view was surprising narrow in this area. Windrunner shook his head, sighing softly.
"But what they did to you was very wrong. I can't change it, Ebony, but if you just talk to me, perhaps we can work through this. I don't like to see you this way, Ebony. It isn't the elf I've fallen in love with." As Windrunner spoke, he regretted his words. He was so unsure of how she felt about him, even now. Although they had been able to see into each other's souls at first, now he could not read her.
Ebony, in turn, stared at Windrunner in shock. When her voice finally returned, she spoke hoarsely. "Why would you want to have anything to do with me? You saw what I am capable of. I wouldn't be a good mother, I wouldn't be a good lovemate. I wouldn't even be a good tribemate. I'm not worth it, Windrunner." Her words were broken, her voice so pathetic that he finally went to her. She could see how wrong it was, he realized. She just wouldn't admit it.
"Ebony, you are a good tribemate. I don't know yet about lovemate, but I'd like to try and see . . ." He trailed off for a long moment, noting the hope in her eyes. "And as for mother, in two years we'll find out for certain, won't we?"
"Did you . . . did you mean that, Windrunner?" Ebony's voice broke again as he put his arms around her. She stared up at him in a silent plea. And he lowered his head to hers, silently proving that he did, indeed, mean what he said.
She would heal. He could feel that within himself. And he would be a part of it. And he needed her, as surely as she needed him. Perhaps it was enough? Or perhaps soon something else would take that need's place. Who could be certain?
