Zim yanked off his shirt. "Look! Look at what the cook did to Zim!" he howled, tears beading in his eyes. Dib gasped in pained horror that infused him with horror. Zim's smooth flawless green chest was flawed with hundreds of millions of gajillions of livid red scars.

"Zim..." Dib gasped, reaching out a trembly shaky pale hand to brush his enemy's (sexy) chest. "Did he do this to you...?"

The alien paused and gave him a funny look. "I just said that didn't I? Anyway," he sobbed again, "Hold me, Dib! Hold me in your strong humany arms to protect me from him again! I came to you, Dib, because you're the only one here I can.. I can TRUST... we're the same really... crushed shells shambling through the tortured blasted ruins of a shameless mean world that want to crush us..."

Enthralled by Zim's agonized vulnerable pain Dib reached out to poke gently at a still-healing scab and Zim smacked his hand away with a gasp. When he looked up at Dib his eyes were like two soulfully jiggling bowls of Jell-o. "Dib... hold me, HOLD ME you wonderful human piece of beefcake... Make me believe that everything is okay..."

Dib paused warily, looking at Zim suspiciously. "This is just a trick isn't it Zim?!" he said. "You know that I've loved you from the moment I saw you so now you try to use it against me!" He gave the alien one last appreciative lustful look. "Well no sirree! DIB won't be fooled, eh!" His voice soared through the registers to mock Zim's. "Let me in so we can do our hair and tawk about boiiz! Yeah right, Zim!" He slammed the door in the alien's face.

Zim knelt, his fighting spirit crushed by Dib's rejection. "Oh Dib... Dib, why? Why do you reject Zim?" Tears poured from his glorious ruby eyes like a river of gooey pink stuff. "I never meant to hurt you by laughing at you in front of the whole school when you said you liked me then shoving you down the stairs so you broke your leg... My emotions.. were just fluttering free, like the careful flight of a tiny new baby bird that hasn't flown... I couldn't accept you then..."

Overcome, he pressed his face against the pavement of the walkway leading to Dib's door. "I'll wait for you Dib... just to prove the pure strength of my love..."

It began to rain. The Invader didn't stir.

LATER THAT NIGHT (STILL AT DIB'S HOUSE) (IT'S 2 AM BY THE WAY TEEHEE)

The clouds were fluffy grey sheep floating around going "Baa" in the dark star-studded night sky. The Irken still sat, crouched pathetically under the awning thing above Dib's door. "Why, Dib..." he sniffed continually. "Why do you do this to Zim? Zim loves you... Zim TRUSTED you..."

With a sudden crackle of energy, a figure stood in front of his. Zim sat up terrified, optical implants reeling from the sudden brightness. "Oh! Who are you? My fairy godmother?"

A deep, horribly horribly familiar voice croaked out aboce him. "Fairy godmother...? Oh no Zim, oh no..."

Zim squealed in horror and thrashed back to squirm terrified. "OH NOE!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!! SIZZ... SIZZ-LORR!!!!!!!!!!"

"YES, Zim!" the other Irken boomed evilly. "It is I! But-" he paused, grinning evilly. "But now you shall call me by my true name. Which is.. HANAGOBARAYOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He twirled his spatula above his head and then SLAMMED it down by the tinier alien. Zim squealed pathetically.

"You escaped me once," the cook grated. "But NEVER AGAIN Zim! NEVER!!!! I loved you you see, but you BETRAYED ME! Betrayed SIZZ-LORR, which you won't do no more!"

He reached down, caught Zim by his skinny sensitive antennae. "You're coming with me. And this time you won't escape!"

The frycook blasted into the sky once more, Zim with him screaming. A strain of his wails reached the ground.. "Diiiiiiiiiibbbb...."

Inside the house, the human wept like the rain.

DA END OF DA FWST CAHPTERR!

OMG lyek tahts endd of 1st cahpter R&R plz ;; Kunstructve crit nly!teehee

Many lines here should be credited to jrandomlurker. Sizz-lorr's true name as well.

I feel deeply unclean now. I must purify myself.