Vermillion

Epilogue

Note: This is not the same epilogue as I first posted. I've decided that one didn't fit the story, so I made another one. Please forgive me for waiting so long to deliver this to you.

:1:

The sound of muffled sobbing could be heard from Starfire's door. Her despair wafted through the walls as if they were insubstantial and Raven felt them sinking into her body. She realized how betrayed the alien girl must have felt, having such unrequited love for Robin. Knocking gently on the door, she waited until the sniffing quieted to enter.

"Star?" she asked.

"Yes?" said Starfire, pretending a brave front. "What is it?"

Raven approached her. "Starfire... about the other day..."

"It is fine, friend. I am in no way distressed by the revelation," Starfire lied, smiling.

Raven shook her head. "I know that's not true. You do, too."

Starfire suddenly lifted her eyes and stared Raven in the face. "We Tamaranians have a larger capacity for emotions and are prone to bouts of depression just as humans are. Is it any wonder that I wish to weep for a while?"

Raven was unable to meet her burning gaze, and instead turned her eyes on Starfire's walls. Her eyes caught a scrapbook of 'Earth Memories' and she started forward to look at it, but in a rush, Starfire was there, standing in front of her. "Raven, I would prefer if you would respect my privacy," Starfire said coldly.

Raven looked up sharply, but regretted. There was no friendliness in Starfire's expression. She nodded, retreating. Starfire was hurt not only by Robin, but also by herself, too. She couldn't trust her, not yet.

"Hey, Rae," said Cyborg as he passed.

Raven paused for a moment, then spun around and caught Cyborg's wrist. "Cyborg," she said, "tell me. What should I do about Star and Robin? I—"

"Do you love him?" Cyborg interrupted. "Robin, I mean."

"No," Raven said. In that moment, it was true. "Attracted, maybe, but I don't... love him."

Cyborg looked thoughtful for a moment, and then grinned. "Show it. Concentrate on making Starfire happy and treat Robin no differently than before. I think both of them will get the message."

Raven nodded to show she understood, but before she could leave, Cyborg touched her shoulder. "Did you love Red X?" he asked.

Raven's lips parted, but no words would come out.

Cyborg nodded. "I thought so."

:2:

It wasn't much of a present, but at least it was something Starfire liked. Raven gripped the mustard tightly as she leaned against Starfire's door. Her room was eerily silent, a sort of silence that made Raven fear. It wasn't like Starfire to be so quiet... so deadly quiet.

She knocked. "Star?" she called out.

"Go. Away."

"Starfire, I need to talk with you."

"No, you do not," came the reply. "I know what you are going to say. 'I did not wish to hurt you, Starfire.' 'You are my good friend, Starfire, but despite that, I wish to be with Robin.' Do you think I would not understand you, Raven?"

"But that's just it. You do understand me, and you should understand that I don't love. I don't want Robin. The only reason I forced him to say that was so that Red X would stop bothering us. If I were to choose between you, my best friend, and him, a guy I barely know, I would choose you. I have chosen you."

Starfire was quiet again for a short time. "You know him more than 'barely,' Raven," was her reply.

"Maybe, but who was the one on the Ferris wheel with him, that day at the carnival? Who was the one that cared enough to try to get him out of that room of his and discovered that he was Red X? Robin doesn't know it, but you are the one he should love. He's an idiot for even noticing me."

A crash at the end of the hall told her that someone had overheard. Raven didn't even have to turn her head to realize it was Robin who was standing there, shocked, the box he had been carrying facedown on the ground.

"But," came the softest reply from Starfire, "now I have realized that I do not love him any longer, except as a brother. It... I suppose that's what happens after a period of contemplation. I was more hurt by you than I was by him, because you were my best friend."

"Starfire, I still am," Raven said, afraid to turn her head and see Robin's expression.

The door slid open with a slight hissing sound. Raven handed Starfire the mustard, complete with a little pink bow on top, and gasped when Starfire caught her in an embrace so tight, her breath was squeezed out of her.

The slow, stunned footsteps fading off in the other direction told Raven that Robin had departed. She felt a weight lift from her stomach. Now he could get over her, just as Starfire got over him.

:3:

Raven held her meditation mirror up to her face, whispering the spell to activate it. The first emotion to surface was Intelligence. "It was better this way," Intelligence murmured. "Don't feel guilty."

At that, Guilt appeared, in her dingy, dark brown cloak. "What have you done? What have you done? Now that Starfire feels better, Robin is hurt. Can't you just shut up once in a while?"

Intelligence emerged again. "Starfire is more important that Robin. What can Robin do for Raven? She doesn't love him."

Lust shimmered out of the air. "That's what you think."

They were both superimposed by Compassion, in her pearl cloak. "You should comfort him, too. He's human like any other. It was a big blow to hear the truth."

Raven shook her head. "No," she whispered. "I can't. It would seem like I care, then."

"But," Compassion retorted, "you do care. After all, you cared about Red X, despite how much you wanted to dislike him, and Red X is part of Robin."

Her face became white and her features disappeared until there were only two black holes and two red lines crossing beside her eye. Raven gazed at the image of Red X for a long moment, then laid aside her mirror.

The question hung in her thoughts for a long time.

What was she to do now?

:4:

He was behind her, she knew. He was standing behind her, watching her; his eyes bore into the back of her head. She just couldn't turn around, though. She just couldn't turn and meet his eyes, his accusing, confused eyes. His blue eyes.

A growing twilight enveloped the land. The city lights twinkled out at her like millions of flames dotting a temple wall. The Buddhists had the right idea—burn candles. Two stars could be seen in the early evening sky, and the thinnest crescent of the moon, too, could be discerned. ... She was certainly not going to be the first one to speak.

"Tell me you don't love me."

Finally. It comes. Now, to get it over with.

"I don't love you."

It was so... easy. Too easy.

"Say it to my face."

She turned. "I don't love you."

A muscle tightened in his jaw. "Say it, looking at me."

Raven lifted her eyes and met his domino mask. Black and white and white and black. "I don't love you."

No gray. That was all there was. Black and white and white and black.

"You know... I thought that would hurt a lot less than it did. Then again, I also thought you couldn't say it to my face, so...." He laughed bitterly. "It all came to nothing, then, Raven?"

She lifted her hood and turned away. "If that's what you want to think, so be it," she replied coolly.

"I want to ask you why you don't love me, but the answer is obvious, isn't it?"

Raven said nothing.

"It's because you don't like guys."

It hit her... sort of like a brick wall would. "What do you mean?" She was surprised at how soft, how hushed her voice came out.

"It's obvious. The way you care about Starfire, the way you dismiss the other Titans... you like girls, Raven. I've figured it out." Robin laughed again. "That's why you don't like me."

"Is this what you do to every girl who doesn't return your feelings?" Raven said frostily. "You assume that because they aren't in love with you—handsome, charming Robin—that they're lesbian? I don't know what Star ever saw in you."

"Well if you don't like girls, then who do you love? Tell me!"

"...What do you want me to say? Red X? I suppose I did love him in a way. The fact is, I don't love. At all. So Robin, fall for someone else."

He lunged forward, taking hold of her face and pulling it towards him. The next moment, her lips were trapped by his. Raven felt almost numb as he kissed her. When he pulled away, the water around the tower shot upwards like geysers.

"Tell me you didn't feel anything."

Raven couldn't speak. His kiss was nothing like Red X's, and yet it was an exact replica. Robin was Red X and Red X was Robin. She... she did love Red X when it came down to it, which means....

Robin grinned, the familiar cocky expression returning to his face. "See?"

Raven narrowed her eyes. "I felt nothing."

"You can't say that—you waited ten seconds. It isn't true if you wait ten seconds."

"Yes, it is."

"Then why did the water act like it was reversing Niagara Falls?" Robin retorted.

"...oh, shut it."

--

Disclaimer: Not mine