Tile: What We're Not

Rating: G

Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. The scene does.

Summary: Sometimes what we're not is more important that what we are.

Harry came up the stairs to the boys' dormitory. He was tired, but didn't feel quite ready for bed yet. It was getting to be that sleeping was even more exhausting than staying awake anyways, with the nightmares he'd been having. He opened the door to the room and stepped through. He firmly shut the door behind him, effectively blocking out the loud noise of rambunctious students on a Friday night. He flung himself down on the bed with a deep sigh, grateful for peace and quiet and time to be alone, at last.

Except, Harry realized as he raised his head to look out the window, he wasn't alone. Neville Longbottom sat in the windowsill, where Harry himself had passed many a sleepless night, gazing across the grounds. Neville didn't make a sound or turn to see who'd entered the room. Instead, he seemed to press even closer to the window as if trying to make himself unnoticeable. Harry frowned. Neville had always been the shy, quiet one in their year. He'd not really paired off with anyone. Harry and Ron, Seamus and Dean, Neville and...And now, the whole House was in the Common Room, carrying on celebrating the end of another week, and Neville was up here by himself. Harry wondered if he really wanted it that way.

"Neville?" Harry said softly as he moved to join him on the sill. "You okay?" Neville didn't look at him, but kept his eyes resolutely fastened on the window. Harry could see a light blush beginning on his plump cheeks and wasn't surprised. Neville hardly ever talked to him. When he did, he stumbled over his words and never offered any more than the answer to what was asked. Harry understood though. Having felt out of place his whole life in the Muggle world, he understood the shyness Neville felt. He'd been like that, too. But here, at Hogwarts, he was free to be himself without fear of being called hurtful, hateful names. For Neville, being at Hogwarts reminded him every day that he was different: not as talented, not as smart, not as brave...Harry really didn't think that was the case, though. He thought Neville could do as well as anyone else if he just had the confidence in himself. Harry'd been able to shake his shyness...mostly anyways. Neville hadn't.

"I'm fine," Neville answered quietly. Harry opened his mouth to answer, but paused, considering. He could let it go with that, or he could pursue this conversation. He decided to pursue it, though he wasn't quite sure why...maybe because he saw so much of himself in Neville.

"Why aren't you downstairs with everyone else?" He asked this question carefully, gently. He knew it could sound like an accusation. Neville didn't answer, but turned a brighter red, keeping his eyes fastened on something outside, or maybe just the window frame. Harry waited, also averting his gaze to the outside world, hoping that this act of distance would make Neville more comfortable. Harry waited, Neville remained silent. Finally, just when Harry was trying to think of what to say if he didn't answer, he did. Quietly, though. So quietly that in the relative silence of the dormitory, Harry had to strain to hear.

"I don't f--," He stopped himself, and Harry had a feeling he could fill the rest of that sentence in. Neville was going to say he didn't "fit in". After a moment, Neville sighed and tried again. "I don't like crowds," he finally admitted without looking at him. Harry sighed, and turned to lean his back against the cool window glass. He looked down at his hands.

"Me neither," he said. He saw Neville glance at him, but did not raise his eyes. Harry might not be very shy, but this was still hard. He tried to ignore the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach and twisted his hands together. "The Dursleys never want me to be around people because..." he felt himself start to blush and swallowed before going on. "Well, because...they didn't want other people to know I'm a freak. I didn't fit in. And here, well...it just gets to be a bit...much, you know?" Harry risked a quick glance up and was surprised to see Neville looking very intently right at him.

"You're not a freak," Neville said quietly, but firmly. Harry nodded.

"I know." He paused, watching Neville turn pink and look away again quickly. Impulsively, Harry reached out and touched Neville's shoulder gently. "Hey," he gave a gentle squeeze and Neville reluctantly met his eyes. "Neither are you."