Disclaimer: As I have stated in other fanfiction, I don't own anything, so please don't sue!

A/N: This is an Emma/JT one-shot that occurs in the 10th grade (season 4). I have no idea whether or Ashley's left Degrassi because I haven't seen The Power of Love yet, but let's pretend she decided not to leave.

"You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long
I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now..."

Head over Feet

Oh, my God. I am so dead!

Why did I do it? I ask myself desperately as I pace around the empty girls' washroom. Am I crazy?!

Whatever possessed me to kiss JT?!

I stop pacing and stare at myself through the mirror. I see a tall girl with wispy blonde hair that is slightly bunched at the sides where I have been tugging at it and large eyes that have been widened in shock. I am shaking.

Calm yourself, Emma. Try to make sense of it.

I reflect back to a few minutes ago. It is Friday, and JT, Toby, Kendra, Nadia and I were planning to see a new movie. Only, the thing is, Toby and Kendra bailed on us at the last minute to go to some anime convention, while Nadia had to get her wheelchair fixed so she missed school today.

It was just JT and me. Together. Alone.

Gulp.

I was fervently trying so hard to hide my anxiety and nervousness at spending two hours in a dimmed room with him, alone, that I hadn't stopped to wonder why I was feeling that way.

The answer is so obvious, but I refuse to accept that. No way could I have a crush on JT. JT, damn it! My best friend! The one who had been helping me with SITE for the last few weeks, after Manny and I had fallen out. The one who made me laugh with his stupid jokes. The one who hugged me and tried to cheer me up after Chris dumped me for some girl he met at a rave. The one who had matured over the summer, so that he'd open the door for me everyday and pay for my popcorn every Friday.

The one who I...

No, Emma. Stop it. You do not.

But maybe you do, a small voice in the back of my head says.

It would explain why I couldn't stop gazing at his dark curls, why I was absent-mindedly pretending to laugh at his corny stories as I tried to find a colour to describe his eyes.

It would explain why I kissed him, out of nowhere.

"Hey, JT, I have to use the washroom, okay?"

"Sure."

How stupid, kissing someone after you tell them you need to use the toilet.

The kiss only lasted a second. Maybe even less. All I know is that I had brushed my lips against his and ran into the girls' room. I didn't look back to see his reaction. I couldn't.

That's where I am now. The girls' room, that is. Still.

Just say it, Emma. Say it to yourself. It'll be better. You'll see.

"I like JT."

There. That wasn't so bad, was it?

I begin pacing again, retracing my steps over and over.

It's strange. I was so used to JT being my goofy best friend that I had never thought about him in that way. And now that I have, I can't get him off of my mind.

I'm going crazy.

Mom had always said we would make a cute couple.

Still. He would never think of me as someone other than his female best friend.

I'm not hot, like Manny is. I'm not a genius, like Liberty. I'm not even particularly fun to be with like Paige!

He would never like me.

What a sad thought.

The washroom door suddenly flaps open with a slight gust of wind and a tall somebody with dark hair walks in. For an absurd moment, I think it's JT.

It's only Ashley.

She gives me a strange look. "Hey, Emma. What are you doing?"

I stop pacing and duck my head. My face feels like it's on fire. "Uh, nothing. Just thinking."

"Uh-huh." She turns on the taps and begins to scrub at her hands.

"So," she says casually. "JT told me to check on you."

I gulp and nearly choke. "Wha – I...did he say..."

She looks slightly amused as soap suds appear on her hands. "No. Do you wanna tell me?"

No! "I kissed JT."

Emma! Why?!

My face heats up even more. "I..."

A throaty chuckle escapes her lips. "Okay."

I stare. Why is she so calm? This is a Big Deal.

"You're not surprised?" I ask uncertainly.

She sends me another amused glance as she rips out two squares of paper towels from the dispenser. I try to refrain myself from informing her that she's contributing to the death of another tree.

"No. It's so obvious. You guys look so cute." Her voice suddenly turns mournful. "Just don't lose him, alright? Don't make a big fuss if he tells his friend you want to sleep with him. Don't...and keep him away from sluts."

I open my mouth to respond, but she is already gone. I sigh. I have to come out of the place sometime, right?

Here goes everything.

I step outside. JT is still waiting for me.

"We're going to be late," he tells me.

He's acting as if nothing happened.

But maybe we're not meant to be together as a couple. Maybe we're just meant to be friends. Best friends. The kiss...it was nothing.

Maybe I tripped and fell onto his lips.

Puh-lease, Emma. Get a grip!

But if the kiss was nothing, why do I feel so thoroughly miserable? Why do I feel like the way I did when I was seven, when my dog had to be put down? Why do I feel salty tears stinging my eyes, threatening to escape?

Now's not a good time to cry. Calm yourself.

Instead, I sneak a peek at him. He's gazing at me with such intent that I have to look away. Those eyes.

"JT..." I begin timidly.

My sentence trails off as his hand brushes mine, our fingers intertwining as if it is the most natural thing in the world. I feel my heart skip a beat as a small smile forms on my face.

"Let's go." He smiles too.

But I'm already gone.

"You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault..." – Alanis Morissette

The End

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