Bandages

From a crack between the door and wall, Hinata watched. Neji, oblivious to her presence, sat in his room, gingerly lifting his shirt to reveal his chest and stomach, tightly bandaged. His back was rigid, his face in a stony grimace.

It had been a two weeks since Neji's release from the hospital, six months since Sasuke's departure with Orochimaru's Sound-nin.

Hinata was once again forced to admire Neji's startling genius; any ordinary genin, possibly even a few chuunin and jounin, would have died immediately against a wanted S-Rank ninja. Yet Neji had won and he had survived—though, Hinata added, it was lucky that a chuunin party had decided to return to Konoha not too soon after Neji's battle. If they hadn't stumbled past Neji's body, who knows what condition Neji would have been in now? She chose not to reflect on it.

The Godaime had immediately operated on the injured genins of Shikamaru's scouting party, saving their lives by miniscule margins. But even her powers could not guarantee Neji's full recovery. The gaping wounds in his body were centimeters wide—the Godaime could not return missing muscle and bone. In the end, she had had to revert to non-jutsu techniques replacing missing items with synthetics. After the surgery, his breathing had returned to normal and everything seemed to be functioning well. The Godaime, however, had warned that Neji's lifestyle had to be drastically changed. He couldn't live as a ninja anymore.

He had fallen into a coma for months. Hinata had brought him flowers everyday. Only on the one hundred and eighty-fourth day, the day when Neji's pale eyes finally began to struggle open, did she fail to appear. She was already in his room at the Hyuga household that day, preparing it for his arrival. She hadn't approached him since.

Hinata would've liked to say her current position outside of Neji's bedroom was an accident, but the visit had purpose. When she returned from training earlier that day, she had overheard the maids whispering about Neji's crippling wounds from the fight with the Sound-nin. Hinata was upset that they'd be gossiping about these things and surprised herself by sternly ordering them to return to work. But before they scurried away, she had timidly asked them how her cousin had been doing. One of them remarked that it was nearly time for his nurse to go in and change his dressings.

She didn't really know what had come over her. All she knew was that the next moment, she had dismissed his nurse as well, taking the new bandages and other medical supplies from her, stammering that she had had some practice with these kinds of things. The nurse didn't question her command; but this didn't prevent her from giving Hinata an odd look. When she left, Hinata's face flushed, and she unsteadily made her way to Neji's bedroom.

Which explained why she was crouching there at that moment. Yet it seemed, with all her newfound courage, she still could not bring herself to slide open the door and walk in. So she watched as he lifted his left arm with much difficulty and began to unravel the bandages. His pale skin shone brightly, its pallor abnormal. It was sickly thin and wasted in areas, not the muscled arm of power that she knew. It pained her to see her cousin this way. It pained her to see the wreck after the fall.

After a long moment, her courage failed her and she decided to call the nurse back, when Neji paused in his unraveling. He heaved a great sigh and said, "I know you're there."

Hinata gave a startled squeak. She was conflicted on what to do—stay or run?

"Hinata-sama."

She winced.

"Either come in, or go away."

It was a long while before Hinata could slide the door open, but eventually she did, if not with a few terrified trembles and some nervous sweating. She mumbled a few apologies as she gathered her things in and placed them onto the ground in front of him. He watched her as she did this, giving her an appraising sort of look that made her even more nervous.

"Has Neji-nii-san been well…?" she asked, setting up her cleaning tools in front of him with shaking hands. "I'm sorry I haven't v-visited…" She began to stammer out a few excuses and some more apologies, when Neji interrupted her.

"Thank you for the flowers," he said, not loudly, but clearly enough for her to hear.

Hinata froze. "F-Flowers?" Her voice grew higher.

"They made the room smell nice in the morning," he said quietly, his expression softening. "I'm thanking you the gift. Are you denying your connection to them?"

She gave a quick shake of her head, and then looked away, hoping he hadn't saw her encroaching blush.

"Thank you," he repeated. He stared as she nervously fiddled with the gauze of the bandages. "Where's my usual attendant?" he asked. He sounded more amused than curious.

Hinata panicked at the question and she quickly tried thinking up a lie. "S-She wasn't feeling u-up to it today. She a-asked me to come because s-she knew I was interested in being a m-medic…" Her voice trailed away. Neji seemed unconvinced, but he didn't question her story.

"Then help me with this." He lifted his bandaged left arm towards her. With all the ease of a trained nurse, Hinata took the arm gently with her still hands. She deftly removed the frayed and thinning bandages from his entire arm, stopping only at his shoulder. She tried to ignore how cold he felt.

"D-Does she usually r-remove all the dressings at once?" Hinata asked timidly.

"Do what you think is best."

She was hesitant at first. She knew what lay underneath the bandages, so she couldn't bring herself to reveal them. She stalled for seconds, merely kneeling by Neji's side, the end the bandage in one hand and his arm in her other. Neji turned to look at her, as if asking what the hold-up was.

"Do you need to call the nurse?" he asked flatly.

"A-ah, iie," she mumbled. "I can do this." This was more to reassure herself than him. She willed her limbs to move so that Neji's back was facing her. Tentatively, she began to unravel the bandages from behind with much grace and dexterity, as if it were a solemn ritual.

The bandages drifted to the floor. A lump formed in her throat as she stared at Neji's injured back. Although the scars had long left their prominence, the blinding paleness of great circulars wounds, one underneath his left shoulder and the other near his right side, were hard to miss. Great large scars that were probably soft and yielding to the touch would never fade away. Scars that would constantly remind him that he had missed out on something he could have had.

Hinata felt herself washed with sadness at the thought. Her shaking hand reached out to touch the afflicting scar, only to hesitant millimeters away. Her hand hovered over it with uncertainty, wondering if her touch could heal. Wondering if he would be, could be, comforted.

Before her fingers had even grazed his skin, Neji flinched. Hinata immediately drew her hand back.

"It's getting cold," he said simply.

"A-ah, h-hai," she stammered. She reached over to pick up the jar of healing ointment. "This might st-sting," she warned. Neji made no comment, so Hinata continued. The ointment was cold in her fingers, but as she reached out to rub the salve onto Neji's back, it grew fiery and developed a bitter smell. Her fine eyesight could detect a small shiver that ran throughout Neji's body as her fingers grazed the surface of his skin. She placed a warming hand on his shoulder to calm him.

Her mind lost track of the time; since she first entered his room, it seemed as if time had ceased to exist. It seemed as if a lot of things just fell out of mind as soon as she entered the room.

"D-does it feel better n-now?" Hinata asked timidly, still kneeling behind him. Neji gave a terse nod. "W-What about the a-aches? How d-does your arm f-feel?"

"You've done more than enough."

"A-ah, h-hai…"

"We'd better re-bandage, then."

"Hai…" Hinata quickly unrolled the new gauze bandages. Her hand ran the coarse white cloth across his back and along his chest. Although she had been able to detect Neji's small shivers earlier, she didn't seem to notice his cheeks flush as her hands touched his bare skin. She continued with her work, patiently wrapping until his chest had been properly bandaged. He gave another sigh, though it was uncertain whether it was from relief or from disappointment.

"Thank you," Neji mumbled, picking at the wrappings on his arm already. He half-expected her to leave then, stammering apologies and blushing from such close contact; but after a few minutes, he realized that she had not moved at all. "Hinata-sama?"

There was a meek sniffle. He turned his head as much as he could to the side to eye her. "What—"

Slowly, he felt her arms make their way around his chest. Even through the thick covering of bandages, he could feel her hair tickling the nape of his neck. He soon realized, as her cheek nuzzled his skin, that she was crying.

It was an odd sensation, to be sure. Neji had really seen or felt many signs of affection; to receive one from someone that he presumed feared him was quite an amazing thing. The warmth was comforting, nevertheless. It relaxed his back more than the ointments ever did.

"Hinata-sama," he murmured. "What's wrong."

The words couldn't form on her tongue. Explanations could not be made in her mind. It was strange for her to do something this sudden. But she couldn't stop the tears from running down her cheeks, wetting the new bandages.

"G-gomen," she said. "I j-just… Neji-nii-san, no matter what, y-you…"

He shifted a bit in her embrace, nervous. "Hinata-sama, this isn't appropri—"

"You'd never cry for yourself," she mumbled. "So I'm crying for you."

He felt the trail of tears snake down his spine. "You don't have to," he said, his mouth suddenly very dry.

"I know," she said, her arms pulling away from him. "I know. I'm sorry." She gave him an apologetic look, and gave a reluctant smile that looked odd against her shining cheeks. "But you know… you don't always have to be so strong."

"Is that so?" he said, his tone expressionless.

"It's okay to feel sad."

Neji felt a dull ache growing in his chest. He winced from the pain. "You—"

"I think that's all for today," she said loudly, cutting him off. Her expression had changed completely. "Neji-nii-san, I-I'll ask the nurse to come t-tomorrow for you. I-It's no trouble." She shoveled the things into her arms as if eager for a quick and easy exit. She shot him a tentative smile. His heart gave another thick thump.

Hinata got up to leave. Neji's arm shot out before he could even comprehend what he was doing. The jars and containers tumbled from her arms.

"Stay," he choked. She gave him a surprised look as his fingers tightened around hers. "Stay with me."

He pulled her close and held her palm against his aching chest. "Stay." Begging, pleading. "Don't leave." For the first time in a long while, Neji felt his eyes burn with tears. "Don't leave me." He drew her in without even waiting for a response. His free hand ran through her hair roughly, bringing her closer.

"Neji-kun," she whispered in a way that caused his heart to thump madly. "You're cold."

He gave a dry sob.

And if he had expected fright or panic, he didn't find it. There was no hesitation in her now, no reluctance. Her eyes were bright and glowing with compassion, warm with love. He felt like he was sinking into her.