The Poring

By: zhakeena

Disclaimers: Aw, come on, do you really expect somebody who wastes her time writing fanfiction to be somebody rich and powerful enough to own Ragnarök: Into the Abyss? Or Ragnarok Online, for that matter?!

Warnings: AU, extreme OOC, Crossover (RagOnline and Rag the Manwah), and certain pointless scenes. Eheh.

Chapter 5 (or was it 6… can't recall.): Strange Senses of Style

--

Chaos grunted as he blinked his eyes a numerous times to wake himself up. He shifted to his side and saw the ancient alarm clock read: 2.15 AM. "Hrmm… better get some sleep again…."

Shifting to his other side, he tried to sleep again… only to find out that the other Spartan beds were empty. "Hmm?" he grunted again, sitting up and yawning. After blinking and confirming that Loki and Skurai were gone, he shook his head. "What are those two doing… having a date or something?" he asked himself grumpily.

Yawning again and scratching his tummy, he got up and groggily walked out of the room and knocked on the girls' room. "Better let them find out anyway…" he thought to himself as he waited for somebody to open the door.

Problem is, nobody answered. He realized this after 2 minutes of no response and when he found out that he was falling asleep on his feet. "Hmm… funny. I thought Fenris was a light sleeper," he thought. He knocked again. No answer.

"Oh-kay, this is strange." A bit more awake now, he went to his room, got the key to the girls' room, and went out again to unlock their door. Praying that nobody sleeps in the nude (although the small, perverted part of his mind says otherwise), he opened the door.

"Iris?" he called out. She was the only one in the room… snoring loudly. Fenris and Lidia weren't anywhere.

"Iris… wake up." Chaos shook her a bit. Iris muttered something like "Mmm… Chaos you have three heads?"

The Rune Knight frowned. "I hate it when she dreams strange stuff about me," he thought to himself before shaking her a bit more violently, "Iris, wake up!"

"AAAAH! Bigfoot!" she screamed, slapping Chaos' face hard. The strike was so strong he flung backwards and crashed on the floor. Iris sat up, breathing hard. "Ooh… where am I? Chaos?" she peered at him from the side of the bed. "What are you doing here? Anyway, I'm soooo glad that you're here… I had a nightmare that you had three heads and a Bigfoot was eating Lidia's head."

Chaos groaned in agony as he stood up. "Iris, you slapped me!" he exclaimed.

"Oh. Sorry… hey, you're not allowed here!" she pointed an accusing finger at him. "Why are you visiting me in the middle of the night?!"

"Don't get the wrong idea, Iris… I just noticed that Loki and Skurai aren't in my room, so I thought I should let you girls find out…" He flinched as he rubbed his sore cheek. "Problem is, Lidia and Fenris are gone too… I wonder what happened…"

Iris blinked in confusion. She took a look around the room and realized that, indeed, her roommates were gone. "Oh, dear… how about the Poring?"

"It's gone too…"

"Do you think they ditched us for some reason?" she asked.

Chaos thought for a while. "No… I can't find a real reason in my head right now. I considered the possibility that Loki and Skurai were dating, though… heheh," he said, chuckling at his own joke.

"Maybe they went all went out on a double date…" Iris said, giggling for herself too.

"You know, I've always thought that Loki had the hots for Fenris… but…" Chaos trailed off with a look of disgust on his face. Iris caught on his trail of thought and frowned.

"Lidia and Skurai?! No way!" they said in unison.

Silence.

"You think we better go look for them?" Iris asked.

"… yeah. Let's dress up… and you might as well bring Chernyongdo with you," said Chaos as he left the room.

--

"You…!!!" Sara seethed as she pointed Shinryongdo angrily at the pajama-clad Skurai, "What the hell are you doing here?! You've disturbed me in my terrorism of these so-called heroes!"

Skurai looked at her mockingly. "Ahah! Call that terrorism? You must be losing your touch, Valkyrie!" He stood up, still hugging the Talatsu-possessed Poring.

"Losing my touch…" the insulted Valkyrie glared at him. "I'll show you, Cursed Prosecutor. Even without Haeryongdo, I can crush your bones and transform them into more accessories…" She pushed Loki aside. The surprised assassin fell ungracefully on the ground.

"Ahahahah! You barely wear anything but accessories, anyway! What sort of woman parades around in Prontera at 2 in the morning wearing a bikini?" he said as he held the Poring. "Talatsu, transform!" The Poring deformed into a giant sword… a giant pink jelly sword with cute little beady eyes. "Ooh… fantastic. I shall feed… that I shall. Ahaha!" Talatsu rejoiced.

Sara's jaw dropped in disbelief. "Why, you perverted Goth wannabe! How dare you insult my fashion sense when you wear that stupid black make-up of yours!" She brandished Shinryongdo and charged at Skurai. The Prosecutor, however, was ready enough to block her attack with Talatsu (version 57: Jelly-blob function).

Meanwhile, Lidia (still seated on the floor), Fenris (standing next to her), and Loki (still on the floor after being pushed ungracefully by Sara) were watching dumb-founded as the two deadliest people in Rune-Midgard battle it out in pajamas and bikinis. "You know, I've always thought that they'll fight someday… but not because of an argument concerning their strange senses of style," Lidia said in amazement.

"But you have to admit… they do have rather interesting fashion senses," added Fenris.

They paused to watch Skurai laugh like a maniac as he dodged a few powerful and colorful rune spells from the angry Sara Irine.

"They might end up causing Prontera's destruction," commented Loki blankly.

"Gee, I don't know about you guys, but I'm staying out of this one. Those two can crush us like the Abysmal Knight can crush a level-1 novice," said Lidia, hiding even more behind Fenris. The warlock shook her head. "Perhaps… but we were responsible for this city once… what do you suggest we do, Loki?" she asked.

Loki shrugged.

"Ahah! I see Geffen, I see Izlude! I see Sara almost in the nude!" chanted Skurai as he Magnum-broke Sara… and missed.

"Pervert!" The Valkyrie's face was as red as her sister's hair when she threw another flaming rune card at Skurai. "Eat this! Crimson Pyre!"

--

Kaboom.

Chaos and Iris looked at where the sound and exploding lights came from. "Over there! At the center of the city!" They ran as fast as they could. Frightened Pronterans were beginning to awake and started staring at the fireworks.

"I wonder what they got themselves into—" Iris froze mid-sentence when they finally reached the center of the city. Chaos' jaw dropped.

Finally, a powerful fire bolt hit Skurai on the shoulder. He hissed and held his shoulder. The Talatsu-Poring hissed too, but in annoyance. It dropped on the ground, away from Skurai's reach. Sara smirked as she victoriously marched over to him, collared him and pointed Shinryongdo at his neck. "Now… Skurai…" she began, her voice even and deadly.

Skurai glared at her. "What are you going to do to me now, Valkyrie?" he said, a wicked smile still forming at his lips.

Sara let the blade touch his skin; a red line was beginning to appear. Lidia, Fenris and Loki watched with bated breath as she began telling him the many ways she'll enjoy killing him…

When a shrill shout came from somewhere, totally ruining the scene. "SARAAAAAA!"

Sara visibly flinched at the sound of the voice. When she realized who it was, she rolled her eyes. "Oh gods…" she muttered in annoyance.

Iris, with a confused Chaos trailing behind her, stomped her way towards Sara, Chernyongdo gripped tightly on one armored hand. The Poring instantly went to its original, innocent Poringy self and speedily hopped behind Iris and hid.

Sara narrowed her eyes at her. She sighed, stamped a rune card on Skurai's face, and glared at her. The rune card paralyzed Skurai effectively. "What now?" she asked in annoyance.

"You killed my father! You killed Payon!" Iris began, but Sara cut her off, "Yeah, yeah. You've said it all before… are you asking for a beating from your infinitely-more powerful and more beautiful older sister?" she asked coldly.

Iris' jaw dropped in disbelief. "WHAT?! Infinitely more beautiful?! The powerful part I could let slip, but…" she started charging at Sara, but Chaos restrained her. "Don't! She'll kill you with one blow!" he cried.

"She has the nerve to call me ugly?!"

"She didn't! Trust me!" Chaos said, a vein threatening to pop on his forehead.

Sara laughed mockingly as she watched her little sister thrash around. "Iris, Iris, Iris… you may be well-endowed, but you're so… plain."

"PLAIN?!" Iris struggled within Chaos' grasp even harder. "Why you…"

"You gotta admit, Iris," said Lidia, smiling wickedly herself, "she's kind of right…"

"What?!" Iris turned to the thief. This time, Chaos didn't stop her when she ran to her and started another one of their cat fights. "As if you're some exotic beauty yourself, honey!" she said, slapping her head. (Head, not face. Ow.)

"Hey, I'm pale and I'm from Morroc! I should be proud that the gods gave me such beauty!" Lidia retorted, pinching her face. The Poring watched in mild amusement as the two girls started doing noogies, slaps and moogie-pinches at each other.

Fenris and Loki backed away from their fight. "Oh dear… we're starting to wake up some people…" said Fenris, looking at the growing crowd who was watching them.

"They might be sending some guards soon enough," said Loki, nodding his head.

"Oi…" Chaos sighed, putting a hand to his face. "And to think, all I wanted to do was to level-up," he muttered.

Sara smirked. "I never intended to decimate anyone in this town, but you guys just had to cross paths with me. Shame," she said. Turning to Skurai, she pinched his face mockingly. "How about you, make-up boy? Having fun yet? I think I'll take my sweet time killing you in front of the Pronteran public… using my two hands only…" she said in a dull tone.

Skurai's eyes widened. "You're turning me on. You sounded like a dominatrix back there. Ahah!" he said.

Silence. Chaos, Loki and Fenris turned to them, their eyes as wide as plates.

Sara slapped his face. "You really are a pervert!" she yelled in disbelief.

"WOOT! Let's see some action!" A few Pronteran denizens (mostly swordies in their nighties) started cheering.

Mortified, Sara turned to them and blasted a rather large fire spell at them. With their hairs alight, they started running and pleading with acolytes and priests to take care of them. She turned back to Skurai… who was smiling maliciously.

"That's it. Forget about killing you slowly. I'll just stab your gut right here, right now," she muttered. She positioned herself to stab Skurai in the gut, but when she did…

She realized that a Poring was already eating her hand. "What the--!!" she screamed. She pulled her hand back, but the Shinryongdo wasn't in her grasp anymore. The Poring burped happily.

More silence. Even Lidia and Iris stopped mid-fight.

"Ahahahahahahahahahahahah – gasp – ahahahahahahah! You really are losing your touch, Miss Irine," said Skurai, although still frozen.

The Poring was once again possessed by Talatsu. "Oh great. Another roommate," he muttered.

"Shut up," Sara kicked the Poring, but she found out that it was as hard as a boulder.

"It's no use, Sara… You can't get your weapons back unless we successfully tame that thing," Chaos said nonchalantly.

Sara looked at him angrily. "So… you mean….?!" She began, but she looked down and shook her head. "No… I don't have to. I think I'll just take this thing away from you cretins." Before anyone could stop her, she was already taking the Poring and was already preparing to teleport. She disappeared with the Poring before anyone could say a word.

"… she is gone." Loki said simply.

Chaos groaned. "Oh no! Our weapons!"

Skurai began to panic. "Ahah! I shall grow old again!" he said in lamentation.

Lidia snapped her fingers. "Darn… there goes the moolah…" she mumbled.

Fenris grit her teeth. "She's good…" she muttered. She turned to Iris. "Iris! I think I can track her down with my magic… can you open up a warp portal for us?" she asked.

Iris shook her head. "Sorry, Fenris…" she said apologetically. "But I don't know the spell yet…"

"Damn…" Fenris muttered. "What do we do…" she thought.

"I guess we gotta brain-storm…" said Chaos, calling everyone to huddle around the still-petrified Skurai. They all sat down thinking when something suddenly tapped Chaos' shoulder. They looked up at the person.

A shy, female acolyte with wide brown eyes was blushing when they faced her. "I'm sorry for disturbing you… but if you want, I could warp all of you." She said meekly.

"Why… thank you!" Chaos said, standing up. "Yeah… we'd like that!"

"Hey, wait a minute… you're gonna overcharge us, ain't you?!" Lidia said skeptically. The acolyte shook her head. "Oh, no, ma'am! I want to do this for the heroes of Prontera…" she said, beaming.

"Hmph. Must be fun being a celebrity," muttered Skurai.

"Oh, it is, believe me, Skurai," said Iris, grinning. "So… Fenris, start searching for Sara so we can get going!"

Fenris nodded as she stood up. She chanted some spells under her breath. She started glowing… then the spell was over. She opened her eyes and frowned. "That's weird…" she muttered.

"Why?"

She turned to Iris. "She's at Payon. And the way I see it… it's reconstructed again."

Iris blinked.

"So! Payon it is," said the acolyte, clapping her hands together. "Watch out, everybody! There's going to be a gaping hole on the floor," she said as she began casting her spell. A warp portal opened. Lidia, Iris, Fenris and Loki stepped in and disappeared. Chaos had to drag the frozen Skurai with him to the warp portal.

"Hey! Do you think they sell clothes in Payon?!" asked Skurai, suddenly aware that he's only in his pajamas.

"Yeah, yeah, now let's go!" muttered Chaos as they both disappeared in the portal.

The acolyte named Veronica smiled. "It's so nice helping people…" she said sweetly before going back to the Sanctuary to get some sleep. By the time the Pronteran Chivalry arrived on their Pecopecos, the warriors were already gone. They shrugged and went back home to get some sleep as well.

---

A few notes for the clueless:

1. Bigfoot – a monster that looks like a very large grizzly bear.

2. Abysmal Knight and Level-1 Novice – Abysmal Knight is a very, very strong enemy… almost good enough to be an MVP boss. And if you're a level-1 novice and you see this guy… well, you're screwed, man.

3. Geffen and Izlude – Geffen is sometimes spelled as "Geffin" in the manwah for some reason. Izlude is also excluded in the story, but in the game, Izlude is the satellite city of Prontera. I just used it since I can actually rhyme it with something…

4. Sara's Rune Cards – I think these are what she uses to cast her deadliest spells like Crimson Pyre and her paralysis spell… whatever it's called.

5. Veronica – a little cameo I decided to do. Veronica is one of our original characters. She looks like your typical acolyte (the one with brown hair and a ponytail)

6. Payon – in the manwah, this town was decimated. In the game, it's where kill-stealing archers and hunters live. (Pardon my bitterness.) I decided to revive this town for the sake of the story.

7. Pronteran Chivalry – where little Swordsmen become powerful, burly Knights! XD I think their duty is to protect Prontera… but seeing as how Knights act these days (being bots and all), they will be even more ineffective in protecting their mother country than how I portrayed them.

Author's notes: Geez. You'd think I'd have a lot of time during the sembreak, but I got lazy, sorry. Anyway, too much OOC again… but with a title like "The Poring," do you really expect anything less? XD

Oh, and I'm sorry if I shocked some of you with the Sara/Skurai-ness. I can't help myself. XD

Next chapter: We see another old friend. But the Poring is more merciful on her.