A/N: I wrote this a long time ago, (Shortly after I wrote 'Weight of an Echo', as that story inspired this one) but I hesitated posting it because I felt that I had already exhausted this particular love-triangle in my other fanfictions... However, I kind of like it anyway, because it focuses more on their actual friendship than their feelings for Chris. I hope you like it as well!
Good Friend
"Borus, for Sadie's sake, go to bed!"
It was long past midnight at Budehuc castle, and Percival lay awake in his bed, staring up at his roommate, who was looking out the bedroom window. The man was evidently troubled about something.
"I can't sleep," the blond knight responded simply.
"It would probably be easier if you were laying down."
Borus glared at his dark-haired friend. "I really don't need your sarcasm right now."
Percival briefly considered going back to sleep and leaving Borus to his moping, but for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to ignore the broody knight when he got in this depressed state. With a resigned sigh, Percival kicked the covers off of him and sat up, lighting a candle on his bedside table.
The feeble candlelight dimly lit the room. Glancing at Borus in his armor, and then at the tidily made bed at the other side other room, Percival realized the blonde knight had not yet been to bed.
"How long have you been standing there?" Percival asked, his voice still slightly groggy with sleep.
"I don't know," he answered somewhat roughly.
Percival joined him at the window. "You've been drinking..." he noted, smelling the alcohol on his friend.
Borus did not respond.
"Okay, so let's talk. What's on you mind?" Percival asked.
"I'm fine, Percival. Really."
"No you're not. Come on, spill it."
"It's just..." Borus hesitated. "Lady Chris..."
Percival closed his eyes and sighed. He should have known. Whenever Borus was moody, nine times out of ten it had something to do with their captain. The blond was hopelessly in love with her, even though Borus would never admit it. Although Percival often teased him about it, he had to sympathize with him. Or perhaps empathize was a better word...
Percival released a sigh. "What about lady Chris?"
"She's still out on that investigation. She was supposed to be back tonight," Borus explained.
"Sometimes these things don't go as planned. She'll probably be back tomorrow. Whatever's holding them up, I'm sure it's not too serious. Nothing our lady Chris can't handle, anyway." Percival knew he was stating the obvious, and somehow knew there was more to Borus distraught demeanor than he was letting on. "Come on Borus, you know better than to worry about something like that."
"I don't understand why she didn't take us with her," the blond continued.
Normally Percival would crack a joke about how Borus must be missing his captain by now, but he felt that would be inappropriate given his friend's current mood. "She probably felt we'd better stay and help protect the castle. She can handle anything out there, there's no point in taking us all along, especially being that Budehuc has such a weak defense right now."
"But why did she have to take that Harmonian?"
Percival nodded in understanding. Now they were getting to the root of the problem. Borus had a habit of becoming jealous of any man who so much as looked at Chris. However, Nash in particular had Borus' jealousy raging, as the mysterious man had managed to convince Chris to travel with him through the Grasslands despite his gratuitous flirting and over-confidence.
"Borus..." was all Percival managed to say.
"When she was away in the Grasslands with him, I thought I was going to go mad with worry..." he confessed.
"I know Borus... But you know lady Chris can take care of herself. The man would be a fool to try anything on her."
"But he still might!"
"Are you sure that's what you're really worried about?" Percival asked suddenly.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, are you afraid that he'll attempt to seduce her, or are you afraid she'll let him?"
"Nonsense!"
There was a long moment of silence, but Percival knew he had hit it on the head. It was something that Percival had noticed himself... Chris had seemed different when she returned from the grasslands with Nash. He noticed that the Harmonian got away with saying things to her that she would have sliced him in two for, had he been any other man who said it. There was no obvious change in Chris' behavior towards Nash, but any subtle change in Chris' reaction to things were noticeable to the knights, for they knew her very well. Percival knew that the chance of Chris falling for Nash was unlikely, but he had to admit that didn't make the prospect less worrisome.
After reflecting on this for a while, he realized there was really nothing he could say that would help. He was considering going back to bed, when Borus put his elbow on the windowsill and rested his forehead in his hand.
"It's just... I can't stand the thought of her being with anyone else..."
The raven-haired knight's eyebrows rose. The comment caught Percival off-guard, particularly because Borus had never before admitted to having feelings for the silver-haired woman. Regardless of whether his confession was alcohol induced or a conscious decision, Percival had already known before that it was the truth.
"Percival, I can't fight it anymore..." he continued, rubbing his forehead as he spoke. "I'm in love with her..."
Percival wasn't so much stunned at the meaning of his words as the fact that he had actually said them.
He smirked slightly as he released a small sigh. "Well, It's about time you realized it..."
"I just don't know what to do anymore..." his comrade said, his voice sounding as though he were on the brink of desperation.
"For one thing," Percival began, crossing his arms as he spoke, "you could tell her how you feel."
Borus closed his eyes. "Even if I had the nerve to, I could never live with myself..."
Percival shook his head, wondering vaguely if this was merely drunken babbling. "What are you talking about?"
"I couldn't live with myself, if she accepted my love and gave me hers... I lied to her, I broke my oath, I dishonored my name as a knight. I don't deserve her, and yet the thought of her being with anyone else is more than I can endure." Percival was slightly taken aback as he heard the man's voice waver a bit.
"Are... Are you talking about Karaya village?" Percival asked carefully. They had not spoken of Borus' behavior that night in the grasslands since he had told him in the armory in Brass castle, shortly after the incident.
Borus nodded, closing his eyes. "I'm closer to hating myself more than I ever thought I could..."
"Borus..."
"Please, I cannot talk about this anymore... Go back to bed, Percival. I just need to be alone right now..."
Percival simply nodded once, and gave him a reassuring thump on the shoulder before solemnly blowing out the candle and returning to his bed.
Percival knew that Borus' inner torment caused by his actions at the Karaya village had been great, and he had been able to feel it ever since Borus had first talked to him about it. However, never had he considered that the man had punished himself so much for it that he wouldn't allow himself near to Chris. Percival knew he could try to convince Borus that his sin was no greater than any of Chris' but he knew it would only frustrate and anger him.
Also, now Percival suffered from his own torment. He could never bring himself to tell Borus that he shared his feelings towards Chris. He could never tell Borus that he had nearly confessed these feelings to her on several occasions.
And yet, as Percival heard a barely audible sob escape from the subject in his thoughts, he knew he had to keep away from Chris as well. Pursuing her would tear both Borus and their friendship apart.
Quite a long time passed in relative silence while Percival considered this.
Eventually, he heard Borus speak, his voice quiet, but hoarse. "Goodnight, Percival."
"Goodnight, Borus," Percival replied wearily. "Try to get some sleep... You're going to wake up with one hell of a hangover tomorrow morning..."
Borus sniffed. After a moment, he said, "I do appreciate you trying to help... You're a good friend."
Percival closed his eyes, fighting a wave of guilt at his comrade's words.
For just then, Percival had found himself wishing he could disregard Borus' angst to pursue the only woman of his desire. He couldn't help but wonder if someday, he would.
And would Borus still think him a 'good friend' if he knew that?
A/N: Strangely, I've noticed that Borus is sloshed in about one third of the fanfiction I write with him in it. I'm not really sure why that is...Probably because it's easier to make him emotional when he's had one too many. Friendly reviews are appreciated, thanks for reading!
Revised - Thanks to Minmei for helping me out with a couple of grammar errors. That's what happens when I edit and post my fics late at night! The corrections I made should work.