A/N) New fic for ya, hope it's somewhat amusing. :D Taking a few liberties with comic canon. (Hey, the cartoon does it, why can't I?) So for the duration please lets all pretend BB's parents aren't dead and they were specifically geneticists. Hey, it's biology! :D One reference to my other fic (a Raven of a different color) Not anything that requires you to read it but I wouldn't complain if you did. This isn't going to be a really shippy fic, just so you know. Its more general humor
It's Relative
"Yo, BB! Mail Call!" Cyborg tossed a letter at his green teammate. The square sliced through the air and hit Best Boy in the back of his head. The changeling yelped a rubbed the sore spot, momentarily taking his hand off the game station control. In that instant Robin pulled his racer ahead.
"Yeagh!" Beast Boy hurriedly tried to regain his lead, but it was too late. "Awwww man,"
"Whoohoo!" Robin pumped a fist in the air. Beast Boy turned in his seat and scowled at his mechanical friend.
"Great timing, Cy," he grumbled. His friend vaulted over the back of the couch and retrieved the controller Beast Boy had dropped.
"I think so, B. I had next game." He grinned expansively and then bent to the task of seriously trying to kick Robin's butt. Beast Boy muttered and examined the envelope. It'd been sent to him all right, but the return address... He gasped and tore open the letter. Quickly scanning its contents his eyes grew larger and larger. Oblivious to their friend's growing distress, Cyborg and Robin continued to play. Cyborg had just pulled ahead, so it was fitting that Beast Boys scream of abject terror would startle him enough to lose the lead and consequently the game. He turned to glare at Beast Boy but only found a cloud of dust were the changeling had just been.
"Hey, where'd he go?" Cyborg asked. Robin shrugged, also confused by their teammates odd behavior. "Think we should go find out?" Cy jerked a thumb in the general direction the green teen had run in. The Boy Wonder nodded. They got up to find out what was wrong with Beast Boy when Robin's communicator beeped.
Robin stopped in mid-stride. "Good thing I set that alarm," he turned off the beeping. "Sorry Cy, but I've gotta be on my way. It's a long drive to Gotham."
"Oh the thing with Batman, right?" Robin nodded.
"I'll call tomorrow to see how everything is here. Call me if whatever happened to BB is an emergency" Robin headed back to the couch and grabbed a knapsack that matched the rest of his uniform; red, gold and green. "Hopefully everything will be quiet here, but call me if you run into trouble."
"Relax man, we got it covered," Cyborg assured the team's leader.
"You sure?" Robin asked again.
"Don't worry about it."
"OK then. See you in a few days," Robin hefted his pack and headed for the elevator. He pushed the button and waited a few moments. The doors reopened and Robin stepped into the massive entrance hall where he'd stashed the R-Cycle off to the side the previous evening. Sighing he stowed his pack and wheeled his bike outside.
A part of him wanted to head back to Gotham, head back 'home'. But another part of him wanted to stay here; and not just because he felt he had a civic duty to Jump City. No, this place had become his home now, just as the circus and Gotham had been before. This time however was bit different. He'd walked into those other places and joined something in progress, joined someone else's team. This time he'd made the city his own, the team his own. This would also be his first time back on Batman's 'turf' since the Teen Titans had formed. Robin felt he'd grown since he'd left Gotham; he just hoped Batman saw it that way too.
"Robin!" He looked around then up. Starfire flew down from the roof, a worried expression on her normally cheerful face. "You are leaving?" she asked, expressive eyes sad. Robin nodded.
"Yeah," he told her, "But it's only for a few days." He put on a smile for her benefit. "I'll be back in no time. You just worry about the city."
"You are going to meet with your mentor? The manbat?"
"Batman," Robin gently corrected. "Yeah." Starfire looked at the ground, one arm holding the other as she thought. She gasped and clasped her hands together.
"Perhaps if I accompany you, I will be of some assistance? Then you will be able to help your mentor faster and can return home that much more quickly?" She looked so hopeful Robin almost said yes. Truthfully he'd have loved to bring her with him, but that was impossible. It wasn't so much that Robin was coming back to Gotham to be with Batman, but that Dick Grayson was returning from enrollment at boarding school to be with Bruce Wayne. He was sure a number of excessively boring dinner parties were scheduled; bringing Starfire and having to explain the niceties of high society Gotham would have helped alleviate some of his boredom. But unfortunately Starfire could be connected to Robin and Robin to Dick and Dick to Bruce. After that it was a short deductive hop to figure out who Bruce Wayne's alter ego was.
"Sorry Star," Robin said putting his helmet on. "Not this time." Seeing her downcast glance he added, "I'll ask if you can come with me next time. But this time I have to go alone."
"Ok," she said, slightly cheered.
"Hey, Beast Boy got something in the mail that made him flip out. See if he needs anything, ok? Cy's checking up on it right now."
"Flip out?" Starfire said the unfamiliar term slowly, as if tasting the words. Robin smiled slightly and shook his head as he revved the engine.
"Ask Cyborg or Raven. I have to go ok?" he waited for her hesitant nod then waved. "Later!" Robin wheeled the bike around, igniting the engine in the back of the bike as well as the two smaller ones on either side. He lifted off the ground then shot over the water. Robin cut the extra engines as he made landfall and headed towards the highway connecting Jump City and Gotham. Robin hated to be so brief with Starfire, but he had a long distance to cover and he intended to arrive in Gotham by a little before nightfall. Perhaps he and Batman would patrol the city together.
Inside Titan's Tower Cyborg wasn't having much luck with Beast Boy. The man-machine rapped on his friend's door once more. "Come on BB, what was in the letter?" once again he got no reply. "If you don't come out of there I might just have to break the door down," he threatened hoping to get some response.
"And if you don't quiet down I might have to break both of you." Raven emerged from her dark domain down the hall. Her violet eyes glinted with annoyance from the shadows of her hood. Cyborg took an involuntary step back and scratched the back of his head.
"Sorry Rae. BB got a letter and flipped out. I haven't been about to find out why." He shrugged expansively.
"That is the second time someone has used that term," Starfire said as she joined them. "Robin left before he could explain it to me. Tell me, what does it mean for Beast Boy to 'Flip Out'.? I get the feeling it does not have to do with acrobatics."
"It means to go crazy or act irrationally," Raven told her.
"Ah! So when you react to someone entering your room, that is flipping out?" Starfire asked innocently, confident and proud that she was using the new term correctly. Cyborg sweat dropped and a vein popped on the side of Raven's head.
"Something like that," Raven ground out.
"Look, let's see what's the matter with BB. With Robin in Gotham until Bats is done with him, we need the elf in top form." Cyborg redirected he conversation back to their friend's unusual behavior. He knocked on the door once more. "Come on, B. We're your friend's dawg. If it's something bad we can help you,"
"Not this you can't," Beast Boy said, opening the door suddenly. He wore an unusually serious expression.
"Are you going too?" Starfire asked. She pointed to the half packed suitcase in the middle of the floor. Beast Boy retreated into his room and resumed his packing, his friends following him inside. Beast Boy's method of packing seemed to consist of frantically pulling random clothing out of drawers and his closet and stuffing them in various bags and cases. Starfire and Cyborg watched him dismantle his room with something approaching awe. Raven noted a letter on his desk and picked it up. Scanning it quickly, Beast Boy's actions suddenly became clear. She would certainly have done the same thing in his place... Though perhaps a bit more orderly, she reflected as a stray shirt landed on her head. She tossed the garment off in the general direction of the suitcase and held the letter up.
"So, your parents are visiting." Beast Boy froze in place and nodded rapidly, looking wildly around he redoubled his efforts to pack everything. He grabbed the top of his suitcase and tried to shut it.
"Yeah, and they're visiting here." He tried zipping the suitcase closed but it was too full. He hopped on top of the case and tried to close it again, but his weight wasn't enough. Shifting into a gorilla form, he tried again and finally closed it. He changed back and sat on it, wiping his brow. A moment later a large ripping noise sounded and Beast Boy had just enough time to realize what it was before the suitcase exploded. His lower lip trembled as he surveyed the damage.
"You are not pleased to be seeing your parents?" Starfire asked.
"Uh, well...they're my....parents," Beast Boy tried to explain.
"Yes?" Starfire prompted.
"Well, they're them." He flailed. "I mean if they were your parents you'd understand. And they're coming here. To the Tower! "
"I still do not think I understand," Starfire said sadly.
"I, er, they think I'm at boarding school." He said sheepishly "I didn't tell them I was a superhero." A moment of silence passed then Cyborg began laughing so hard, he had to brace himself against the wall. Raven was expressionless as per usual and Starfire looked slightly confused, also per usual.
"Your parents wish for you to be a boarder?" she asked.
"He means that his parents think he is at a school where the students live as well as attend classes," Raven explained. Since Robin wasn't there to eagerly explain earth terms to Starfire, the job usually fell to Raven. 'Great,' Raven thought to herself. She expected star to be confused quite a bit if Beast Boy's parents did show up on their doorstep.
"Oh," Starfire nodded, "We have similar schools on my homeworld. Technically, I could be considered at such a place now." She smiled brightly.
"So I guess you're going to have to come clean, huh?" Cyborg said once he got his laughter under control.
"Yeah I guess."
"Well I'm going to go make lunch. Then we should probably clean...if we're having guests," He grinned somewhat evilly and looked back at Beast Boy.
"I shall assist! I shall make a traditional Tamaranian dish of welcoming," Starfire declared. Beast Boy watched them walk away and whimpered. Sighing in defeat he began to pick up the clothing in his room. The changeling figured he had slightly less than twenty-four hours before his parents arrived. He supposed he could get his room clean in that time. Or at least clean enough that his mother wouldn't spend more than half an hour commenting on it - provided he lived long enough. He wasn't entirely convinced his parents wouldn't kill him as soon as they found out he hadn't exactly been truthful.
It was only after one of his upended drawers glowed black and floated back into place that he noticed Raven hadn't left with Star and Cy. "Thanks." Thoughts swirled in his head as he considered his situation.
"No problem," she said, using her powers to return several things to their proper places. With Raven's help Beast Boy actually managed to get all his clothing put away fairly quickly. He sat on the edge of his desk and heaved a sigh. Raven sat in mid air. She actually looked sympathetic.
"I know I don't have any room to complain about my parents," he said. It was true, they were actually decent people aside from being excessively embarrassing and frequently smothering. He definitely didn't have room when he considered what he knew of Raven's father. He gave an involuntary shudder. "But...You guys have enough to make fun of me over without them adding anything." His parents were embarrassing; a reason he hadn't told them exactly what he was doing. If he was in school, they were content to let him take classes. Running around stopping super villains was a different matter.
"Maybe, it won't be that bad?" Raven suggested. He shook his head and stared out the window. The cheerful afternoon sun only served to make him feel more depressed.
"Half the time they treat me like I'm a five year old."
"So does Cyborg," Raven pointed out.
"Nah," Beast Boy waved the notion aside. "He's not serious. Cy's like an older brother and he's one of my best friends. We're practically obligated to give each other a hard time." Raven's look was dubious. "Look, it' a guy thing ok? Anyway, he might give me a hard time but he knows that I'm a part of the team," he jerked a thumb at his chest. "He knows I can take care of myself and that I'll do whatever I need to do to help." Raven nodded. As annoying as Beast Boy sometimes was he really was as vital a part of the team as any of them. "They honestly don't think I can do anything for myself. The only reason I was sent to boarding school was that they didn't want me in Africa anymore. They convinced themselves I would get sick again.
"So your parents don't think you can take care of yourself and therefore treat you like a little kid. That's fairly common though, isn't it?" She'd seen that sort of familial relationship on TV though no doubt those situations were exaggerated. But having no real first-hand experience, she wasn't sure herself. Her mother had done precious little of raising her. Trigon saw her as more of a weapon than a person and Raven had been specially kept from his influence. Beast Boy shrugged.
"It's worse, Raven." Beast Boy stood and began trying to get his desk into some sort of order as he spoke.
"They don't know you're a Titan." She stated evenly. He nodded morosely and folded up an extra blanket that had been thrown across his desk chair.
"Yeah and I didn't tell them because not only would they try and stop me, they blame themselves,"
"For?"
"For me. For this," he pointed at his ears, "and this." He pulled off a glove and pointed at his hand. Raven realized he meant his green skin. His parents had done that? As if reading her thoughts, he explained, "When I was little I got sick. Really sick," He scratched the back of his head and looked slightly ashamed himself, "My parents are geneticists, and knew that only animals could somehow survive what I had, but they didn't have the time to find out exactly how. Long story short, they sort of combined a lot of DNA together and tried to make a cure. It worked, I was better in a month, but," he shrugged.
"But you were the shade of an avocado?" Raven asked dryly. Beast Boy chuckled.
"Good one! But, yeah. They didn't care since I was alive. The local tribe thought it was kind of weird but-"
"Tribe?"
He nodded. "We were in Africa at the time," he explained offhandedly. Raven blinked in surprised but let him continue without comment. "That's where I thought they were still. Anyway a snake was going to bite my mom and I got it to go away by turning into a mongoose." He shrugged. "But I'm getting off topic. They feel like they did something horrible to me. The shape shifting thing kinda freaks them out. They're scientists and they don't know how to explain it without dissecting me and they don't want to do that," he shrugged at the helpless situation. "I get the feeling they think they've totally ruined my life but aren't saying anything because they don't want me to know. I dunno, Its not easy being green." He chuckled and Raven rolled her eyes. "But it's not so bad." Beast Boy pulled at his uniform, "The whole super-hero sense of fashion leaves something to be desired, but I get to help people."
"It's only for a few days," Raven said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "If I could survive my other selves escaping from my mind, you can survive your parents embarrassing you for a few days. After you tell them."
"Yeah, I don't think I could pass off Titans Tower as a school," he chuckled.
"Robin's out of town," Raven said, "he's the only one who could pass as a principal." She turned and walked away, leaving Beast Boy stunned. Raven had made a joke? Raven did funny? Chuckling, he tried to bring order to his chaotic room.
As Beast Boy dreaded his parents' impending visit, his friends took some pity on him and helped clean the tower - or at least make it more presentable. By evening Cyborg had finally tired of giving his friend good-natured grief and had coaxed him into watching a relaxing movie (Psycho Killers from the Undead Dimension of Pain III ), Starfire was in the kitchen area making something - no one wanted to ask what was in it - and Raven had retreated to her room to meditate.
Around this time, Robin had finally made it to Gotham city. He pulled his bike to a stop and watched the city lights glimmer below; bright jewels in the brooding darkness. The city was a lot like Batman, he mused; dark and brooding. He revved the engine and continued on his way. Because of its location, the city was almost constantly in an overcast darkness, a stark contrast to Jump City where the numerous sunny days had left Robin slightly disoriented at first. Robin sped around the city limits, heading for the wooded area just beyond the Wayne estate. Flipping a switch on the bike's console, he brought up his helmet's HUD. There were no other vehicles in the area so Robin felt confident about heading to the Bat Cave's hidden entrance. The security system accepted his entrance code and the doors opened for him. The R-Cycles engine sounded loud in the suddenly close confines of the cave. He slowed the bike to a halt and spun it around, readying it lest it be needed at a moments notice. Robin slid off the bike and set the helmet on the seat. He grabbed his knapsack with one hand and got rid of any helmet hair with the other. Whistling, he headed deeper into the cave.
"Welcome home," a cultured voice greeted him from the darkness.
"Hi Alfred," he greeted. It was good to see the older English gentleman again. Bruce was most definitely the father figure in his life, but Alfred was nearly as significant. He was to Robin, as he was to Batman, a voice of reason. Robin, like his mentor, tended to become a bit...obsessive. Alfred was a reminder of reality - weather it was something you wanted to hear or not. The butler held out a change of clothing; normal clothes from his closet and thankfully not anything formal.
"Master Bruce is on his way home from the city. He should be arriving momentarily."
"Thanks," Robin said, taking the clothing and heading for the cave's, for lack of a better word, locker room area. By the time Robin entered the mansion above as Dick Grayson, Bruce had returned home.
"You're taller." Bruce appraised him gravely.
Dick returned with the equally solemn, "You're older." The straight faces only held for about a minute before they broke down into grins. Dick greeted his mentor and friend with a hug and pat on the back. With a mischievous grin, Bruce ruffled his hair and ducked away when Dick swatted the offending hand.
"Lets grab dinner then you can tell me what you've been up to," Bruce suggested. Dick nodded and followed Bruce into the kitchen.
If you got this far, thanks for reading ! what do you think? Smack the button! you know you wanna