Hi all!

The full disclaimer is at the end of the story, because I don't want to ruin all the weird characters that pop up in here. Hey, it IS a comedy. It's mostly Sailor Moon and Gundam Wing, but...well, I'll let you read. This is my first attempt at a comedy, so we'll see how this goes. ^^; This is CRACKFIC. Serious, serious crackfic.


What Happens When...? or, The Bizarre Misadventures of the Senshi Without a Properly Functioning Guardian of Time and Space.


Haruka and Michiru are sitting in the living room of their house, and it is very late in the evening. On the table before them sits a blender, some fruit, and plenty of alcohol of varied sorts. Michiru is giggling hysterically at some inane thing Haruka has just said, her shrieks carrying up the house, louder than Usagi on a test day. Haruka is trying very hard not to join her, since she is even more sloshed than Michiru.

In her room upstairs, Setsuna snaps her book shut and leaves her room, checking on Hotaru on the way, who is still sleeping, fortunately. Going downstairs, Setsuna frowns on seeing the figures of Haruka and Michiru, who are spinning a vodka bottle around.

"It lands on..." Haruka shouts, "Michiru!"

"Eek!" Michiru leaps off the couch and tries to get away from Haruka, who tries to chase her, tripping on the carpet. Somehow, she finds this extremely funny, and begins to laugh at the ceiling. Michiru drops to all fours and crawls over to her, watching her upside down. "You're real drunk, 'Ruka."

That sent Haruka into a gale of laughter, and she tries to wrestle with Michiru.

"This is not amusing," Setsuna said before the fray could get any louder. "Hotaru is sleeping."

The two froze, staring at the soldier of time, who had her arms crossed and was glaring at them in her best 'you are a LOT younger than me' look.

Haruka snorted, and rolled off Michiru. "You're no fun, Puu!"

"Only Small Lady may call me Puu."

"Okay, Puu. Come on. Have a..hic..drink with me an' Michie."

"I don't drink."

"Aw...why not?" Michiru began to splash whiskey into a shot glass.

"Bad things happen when I am not completely coherent."

Standing wobbly, Michiru tried to hand Setsuna the whiskey.

"Aren't you two a bit young to be drinking?"

Haruka returned to the couch with a flop as Setsuna took the drink away from Michiru, who looked about ready to spill it. "Yeah," Haruka admitted, giggling. "But we're also too young to drive, have a house, race cars, fly airplanes...."

"That was a HELICOPTER, Haruka!" Michiru corrected as she staggered over to Haruka, collapsing next to her. "Get it RIGHT!"

"Sure, Michie!"

Setsuna just shook her head. "You two are drunk."

"Well, DUH!" Michiru said, shaking out her hair.

"Come on, Puu. Down it. Or we'll get louder, and Hotaru will wake up and obliterate the universe!"

Setsuna rolled her eyes. She didn't know about the destruction of the universe part, but Hotaru may very well wake up, and she needed her rest. And though many people didn't believe it, Hotaru could be VERY grouchy in the mornings. So, the universe may get Death Reborn Revolution-ed after all.

"One, drink, Puu? Pleeeeease?"

"We'll be REAL quiet!" Michiru held her hands over her mouth, looking like a little girl. "Promise?"

"I'm the Guardian of Time and Space. Do you two KNOW what happens if I get drunk?"

"Aw, you probably haven't ever been drunk before!"

Shaking her head, Setsuna stared at the shotglass. "Yes, I have."

"REALLY? WHEN?"

"Haruka!" Setsuna snapped. "Hotaru."

"Oops! Hic! Sorry, Puu!"

"Stop calling me Puu!"

"One drink, Setsuna!" Michiru giggled from behind her hands.

One drink and shut them up? Setsuna sighed, then downed the whiskey.


Two de-henshined senshi were sitting in Crown Fruit Parlor. One was dressed in a brand new orange dress that she had purchased the hour before, spaghetti strapped and with a little ruffle that she thought was so very, "Cute!" The other senshi with her had agreed, and she had bought it. Red bow intact, Minako was wolfing down a hamburger with her voracious appetite, only outmatched by the odango atama of the group. Opposite of Minako was Makoto, wearing jeans and a green plaid tank top, drinking a milkshake, eyes nearly bugging out as she watched Minako eat. "Slow down, Minako-chan. You'll choke!"

Minako hesitated a moment in her porking out session, teary eyed. "How can you not eat at a time like this? Those guys had..." she sniffled, then wailed, "girlfriends! It's not fair!"

Makoto stirred her milkshake sadly, watching the pink and vanilla swirl around. "Yeah, and that one looked just like my old senpai, too...."

"SEE?" Minako wailed. "They were perfect!"

Together, they sighed, "I want a boyfriend!"

And in answer to their combined wish, the skies parted, and from the heaven, five figures hurtled down, two screaming. One landed on his feet, one landed and rolled, another did a weird backflip thing, one landed on his face, and the last on his butt.

From inside, Minako and Makoto blinked, looking at each other, Minako's mouth full of burger, Makoto's full of milkshake. They swallowed, turning slowly and staring at the five, then simultaneously shrieked, "AHHHH!!! IT'S RAINING HOT GUYS!!!"

They bolted for the door, Minako ruthlessly shoving Mako out of her way. "AHHH!!! This one's mine!" She latched onto the one who was peeling himself off the concrete, looking dazed.

"Huh?" He asked as he stared at the girl who was now clinging to his arm.

"I'm Minako! Who are you?"

"Uh, Duo?"

Minako sighed, "You're hair is so COOL!"

Always happy to hear about his hair, Duo began to look very self important and grinned, forgetting he had just fallen from the sky, saying, "Thanks."

Meanwhile, Makoto was switching between the other four, eyes wide. "I don't know which one to pick!"

"PICK? Stupid woman! Do we look like fruit to you?!?"

Makoto turned red, staring at the Chinese boy. "Who's stupid, plastic hair?"

"My hair does not resemble plastic, woman!"

"Oh yeah?"

Plastic hair glared, reaching for a sword at his belt, then hesitated, folding his arms. "I don't fight women."

"Oh yeah? Why not?"

"Women are weaklings."

Makoto slowly began to turn purple. Minako stopped staring at Duo to say, "Oooh dang. You made her mad, stupid plastic hair. You'd better take that back." Then she turned back to Duo. "YOUR hair is great! It's so pretty in the braid!"

Duo was beaming.

"Call this weak!" Makoto shouted, charging. Minako and Duo stopped chatting about their hair while the other three boys stared at the fight in silence. Their mouths fell as the ponytailed girl somehow hauled the boy into the air and threw him, causing him to fall, rolling, then charge. One of the staring boys finally said, "Wufei," in a warning tone, and the Chinese boy stopped his attack.

"She has insulted my honor and manhood!" Wufei shouted. "I demand JUSTICE!"

Makoto smirked.

Another boy, the blonde, told him, "Wufei, we shouldn't be fighting them!"

Makoto wheeled on him. "If you say it's because we're girls, I'm gonna kick your fu-!"

Before Makoto could start swearing, Minako shouted, "Mako-chan!" Stopping her.

"No, no!" The boy protested. "I believe in total pacifism!"

"Agh!" Duo shouted. "Quatre! No! Not another lecture! AGHHH!" He covered his ears with his hands.

One of the two boys, who had not spoken yet, asked, "May I ask who you two are?"

"Aino Minako!"

"Kino Makoto."

Quatre stepped forward, offering Makoto his hand. "Quatre Raberba Winner," pointing at one of the two silent ones, "Heero Yuy," the other silent one, "Trowa Barton," baka plastic hair, "Chang Wufei," and at the one Minako was glued to, "Duo Maxwell."

"Nice to meet ya!" Duo offered his hand at Minako, who stared for a moment.

"OH! Shake hands! Okay!" She took Duo's hand and shook it until Duo began to shake along with her.

"Minako, stop!" Duo snatched his hand away.

Makoto was bowing politely to Quatre, Trowa, and Heero. She shot a dirty look at Wufei. Heero bowed back.

"Um, can we ask you girls something?" Quatre asked.

"What?" Makoto replied.

"What just happened?"

"Other than our falling from the sky?" Duo quipped.

"Um, yeah." Quatre smiled nervously.


"Amieeeee-chaaaaaannnn...I don't want to studiiiiieeee!"

"Usagi-chan, you need to get a good grade on the next test, or you might fail the class!"

"But Amieeeee!"

"SHHH!!!" Came from several people around them.

"Sorry!" Ami whispered back, hoping Usagi would keep quiet in the library.

The librarian stared at them, ready to kick them out. But she recognized Ami, and knew she was usually quiet, and so gave her and her loud friend a second chance. "Usagi-chan, you have to know about the planets. They're important to your future as Neo-Queen."

Usagi buried her head in her arms on the table. "Umph," she said. "I wanna go shopping with Minako and Mako-chan. Even read manga at Rei's!"

Ami brought her textbook up before her. "What is the last planet in the solar system?"

"Nemesis."

"No."

Usagi snapped her head up. "Yes it is! We've been there, remember?"

Ami sighed. "But no one else knows about it, Usagi-chan. Put it on the test, and you'll get it wrong."

"But I hate to studiiiiiieeeeee-!"

"AHHHHHHH!!!!"

Ami began to look around. That second scream wasn't Usagi's.

"Usagi!"

"What!"

Ami grabbed Usagi's arm, hauling her from the table as more people began to leap up, screaming. In the hallway outside, there was the sound of even more people shouting, and the sound of running.

"Transform!"

"Right!"

They ran behind a bookcase.

"Mercury Crystal Power! Make-UP!"

"Moon Crisis! Make-UP!"

The freshly transformed Sailors Mercury and Moon appeared, posing, Mercury on a table, Moon before a potted plant. "Stop right there!" they cried.

A giant blue blob of cloth turned, revealing a very ugly mask. "SCARF!" it shouted.

Mercury blinked. Hadn't they fought her before?

Sailor Moon was too busy launching into her speech to notice. "Champion of Love and Justice! Sailor Moon! And on behalf of the Moon, I will...okay, I WILL forgive you for interrupting me, but not for hurting innocent people!"

"And I, Sailor Mercury, Champion of Wisdom and Justice, will NOT forgive you for interrupting me! And on behalf of the planet Mercury,"

They finished together, "We will punish you!"

"SCARF!"

"Moon Tiara Action!" Sailor Moon threw her tiara, knocking Scarf's mask off, revealing her oddly pretty face.

"SCARF!" she wailed again.

"Mercury Aqua Rhapsody!"

Scarf was shot through with the ice, screaming as she died.

Jumping up and down, Sailor Moon shouted, "That was easy!"

Mercury drew out her mini computer, and began scanning. "Sailor Moon, we've fought her before."

"Huh?"

"You don't remember her?"

"Uh, no?"

The lights of the computer reflected up into Mercury's face as she tapped the visor, sliding across her eyes, continuing her scanning. "The one who tried to take Mako-chan's heart crystal last year?"

Sailor Moon's mouth fell open. "You mean that nasty hentai youma with the black star on her b-!"

"Mmhm," Mercury frowned at the readings. "There's a space distortion around where she last stood."

"What?!?"


There were over a dozen men in white armor running around in front of Tokyo Tower, and over a dozen white dressed flying women soaring around them. The armored men were shooting lazers from their blaster guns at them, and not meeting with much success, since they seemed to be made of ice.

"Fall back!" One of the armored men shouted, waving at his troops. From above them, they heard a shrill laughter, and they looked up to see an ice blue woman without a shirt and wearing an exotic, icy, African looking headdress, cackling maniacally at them.

"Finish them my Snow Dancers! Kill them all! Ehehehe!"

That sent the dancers into a tizzy of attacks, repelled by the armored men and their blasters.

A shriek interrupted them and everyone's heads swiveled around to see the ice woman battling a black robed and helmeted man with a big glowing red sword.

"Haw...purrr...The Emperor will be most displeased if I allow this planet to fall to anyone other than the Galactic Empire. I will own this planet."

"The Galactic what? Never heard of it! The universe is all MINE! Bwahaha!"

The black helmeted man spun the sword, and the ice witch narrowly dodged, throwing a stream of snow at him. He lifted a hand, turning it aside. "How can you do that?"

"Haww...pur...I am Lord Darth Vader, and a Jedi Master of the Force. I can do anything I want."

"Well, I've been all over the universe, and I've never heard of any of it!"

"And how have you traveled all over the universe?"

"Because of a big light!"

Vader stared at her. "A big light? Of what?"

"The light of Hope and Friendship!"

"Ah, the enemy of the Dark Side!" Vader turned off his lightsaber. "And you are?"

"Hm. Well, I was never really GIVEN a name, because everyone just called me the 'Snow Witch' but I really didn't like that. There WAS this one guy who I got a lot of power from who called me Kaguya-hime. And I liked THAT a lot better."

"Kaguya, then. I am Darth Vader."

"You mentioned that. Are we still going to kill each other, or are we allies now?"

"Will you try to prevent me from taking over the world for my Master?"

Kaguya sniffed. "There IS no Galactic Empire. Why don't you take it over for yourself? That's a lot more fun."

"Haw....I do not understand fun."

Kaguya gasped, looking horrified. "You never LAUGH when you're killing people?"

"Haw...purr...No."

"You poor deprived man! All villains here must laugh maniacally! It's a rule!"

"I think about laughing sometimes, but it is not in my nature."

"We will remedy that at once! Snow Dancers! Break up! Find those pesty senshi that stopped us last time! And the rest of you, let's take our new friends to our hideout and plan to take over the universe! Bwahahaha!"


Rei was sweeping the courtyard when she heard the gaggle of people heading up towards the temple. Placing a hand to her head, she felt a headache coming on.

"Rei-chan!" Minako shouted, waving, as they trooped into view. "Look who we found!"

Rei stared at the boys that were tagging along with Minako and Makoto.

"Rei-chan, they fell from the sky. It was really cool," Minako told her as they gathered around.

"They fell from the sky? How?"

Makoto shrugged. "How should we know? They fell outside the Fruit Parlor."

"Who are they?"

Minako took a breath and made the introductions. "Heero, Trowa, Wufei, Quatre, and Duo."

Rei frowned at Duo. "Why are you dressed like a Catholic priest?"

"Why are you dressed like a Shinto priestess?" Duo tried to pick at her long sleeve. She smacked his hand away.

"I AM a Shinto priestess!"

"Oh."

"Are you a Catholic priest?"

Duo sweatdropped, while Quatre and Wufei began to laugh. Even Trowa and Heero looked about ready to smile. They didn't, but it was CLOSE.

"Hmph!" Rei tossed her hair over her shoulder. "At least I really am a Shinto priestess."

"REI!" Yuuichirou came running out from inside the temple. "I've got the dustpan, Rei!"

Rei shook her head sadly, taking the dustpan for her sweeping. Yuuichirou turned to look at the newcomers. "Hey, Makoto-san. Minako-san. And...people I don't know," he turned back to Rei. "Do you want me to help you sweep?"

"Um, sure, Yuuichirou." He ran back inside to get another broom.

"Hey, Trowa," Duo elbowed the silent one. "His hair is even more in his face than yours! You can't see either of his eyes!"

Trowa: "...."

Rei sighed. "Minako-chan, why did you bring them all up here?"

Minako grew slightly more serious for a moment, taking Rei's arm and steering her aside a step. "They fell from the sky," she whispered.

"I got that much."

Minako shook her head. "The same way Chibiusa did. I think they're from the future or something."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. We brought them here to find more out."

"Right," turning to the group, she shouted over a new argument between Makoto and Wufei, "Would you all like to come inside for tea?"

"I like tea," Quatre agreed. Heero and Trowa stepped forward too, but Duo wailed,

"I don't like tea!"

"Then I'll get you something else!"

"REI! I'm back!" Yuuichirou announced on his return, brandishing a broom.

"WOMAN! YOU INSULT ME!"

"OH YEAH?"

"This is giving me a headache."

"I thought we were having tea?"

"SNOW DANCERS?!?"

When Minako shouted that over everyone else, they shut up, looking to the sky, where several of the Snow Dancers were floating, looking down at them laughing in their high pitched giggles.

"I'll protect you, Rei!" Yuuichirou leapt infront of her. Each of the other boys moved in front of Minako and Makoto. Heero, Duo and Trowa all pulled out guns while Wufei drew his sword.

Quatre stared at them. "Heero! Duo, Trowa! You ALL have guns?"

"Doesn't everyone?" Heero asked.

"NO!"

"Oh."

"Could we stop talking and fight already?" Duo asked.

The Snow Dancers took that moment to charge, swooping in at them.

One targeted Rei, and Yuuichirou shoved her back, leaping forward, punching it in the face. "OW!" he exclaimed as his fist started to bruise. Another Dancer took advantage of his distraction and iced him.

"No, Yuuichirou!" Rei screamed. "Bastards!"

The other boys were doing a bit better, though Quatre was now half pinned to the ground by a block of ice on his legs. Shots started to ring out as the boys tried to fight the Snow Dancers, but they were far too fast, dodging.

"Omae wo korosu!!!" Heero yelled as he ran forward into the fray. He was getting pretty mad. He usually didn't take this long to blow stuff up.

Minako and Makoto had backed together, standing before Rei, who was struggling to her feet. Two Snow Dancers had broken away from the main group, and the only person between them and the girls was Duo.

"Guys," Minako began, "No choice. Don't let any escape. Transform."

"Right!"

"Mars Crystal Power!"

"Jupiter Crystal Power!"

"Venus Crystal Power!"

"Make-UP!"

Duo turned to watch the pretty lights show that was surrounding the three girls. A moment later, three sailor-suited senshi were standing before him.

"Minako?" He gawked.

"Um, yes?" Sailor Venus replied.

Duo brightened. "Can you do that again?"

"Why?"

"Cause you were naked!"

Venus promptly beaned him over the head.

"V-chan!" Jupiter shouted at her. "The Snow Dancers!"

"Yeah, yeah. We are the pretty sailor-suited senshi, Sailor Venus!"

"Sailor Mars!"

"And Sailor Jupiter!"

They finished together, "We will punish you!"

"Crescent Beam!"

"Sparkling Wide Pressure!"

"Burning Mandala!"

Several minutes later, the courtyard was steaming with vapor from the melting Snow Dancers. None had survived.

"Hang on, Quatre. Fire Soul!"

The fireball melted the block of ice on Quatre's legs, and Wufei helped him to stand, since his legs had been numbed.

Sailor Mars took aim again, this time at the ice statue of Yuuichirou. "Fire Soul!"

The ice began to melt around him, dripping, and Sailor Mars detransformed, the ribbons circling her a moment, then returning her to her priestess outfit. "Yuuichirou?" She tried to hold his head up.

"Uggh...." he groaned.

"He's okay!" Rei called, relieved.

"What are you?" Heero asked, putting his gun away.

Venus and Jupiter glanced at each other. Together, they detransformed, returning to normal. Minako answered, "Sailor Senshi."

"Soldiers?" Heero stared. "In skirts?"

"They're nothing wrong with our fukus! I bet you wear your green tank top and spandex every day!"

Heero turned red.

"Ha! I knew it!" Minako crowed cheerfully. "The eye of the goddess of love and beauty never misses!"

"Well, I'm the god of death!" Duo declared.

"Can you blow up the universe?" Makoto asked him.

"Uh, no?"

Minako and Makoto shared a look. "Then you couldn't beat Hotaru."

"Is he the god of death?"

"SHE is Sailor Saturn, and SHE can blow up the universe."

"I have a really big scythe!"

"She has a glaive."

"I have...I have a GUNDAM!"

"DUO!" Heero shouted, clamping a hand over the American's mouth. "Shut up!"

Trowa stepped over, looking at the two detransformed senshi. "They just revealed to us their identities, Heero. And they may be able to help us to return home. Perhaps it would be best."

"Trowa?"

"Yes?"

Duo peeled Heero's hand from his mouth. "Are you getting ready to kill something? You never talk that much unless you are."

Trowa: "...."

"I'll take that as a no."

"...."

"Everyone!" Rei called. "We're taking Yuuichirou inside!" Rei, Wufei and Quatre were hauling Yuuichirou up, and half dragging him into the temple.

"REI-CHAN!" a familiar voice began to shout up the hill.

"Usagi-chan!" Minako waved as the odango atama arrived, tailed by Ami, Mamoru, and Luna and Artemis.

"I'm sorry we're late. We had to call Mamo-chan for a ride, and it was really squishy on the back of his motorcycle with the three of us, and then get Luna and Artemis!"

"It's okay, Usagi-chan!" Minako latched herself onto Duo again, who was grinning at all the attention. "Look who we found!"

Artemis began to hiss at Duo.

"Artemis! Be nice!" The white cat settled in to glare at braid-boy.

Luna, however, was purring up next to Trowa. "Hello, there," he picked her up and petted her head.

That distracted Artemis, who began to hiss at Trowa for touching Luna.

"It's okay, Artemis," Minako soothed. "They saw us transform. No choice. They're okay."

"WHAT?" Luna yelped in Trowa's arms. "Agh, meow?"

"They saw you henshin?" Mamoru asked, looking at the three Gundam pilots. He placed an arm on Usagi.

"Yeah," Makoto told them. "There were Snow Dancers."

Usagi pulled at her odagoes, wailing, "We already fought them too!"

"Too?" Makoto asked. "You fought some?"

"Ah, no, Mako-chan," Ami corrected nervously. "You remember Scarf?"

Makoto paled, then went red in the face. "Where is she? I'll kick her fu-"

"MAKOTO! NO SWEARING!"

"Sorry."

"Put Luna down!" Artemis demanded. "If they know, then oh well. Luna!"

"Sorry," Luna said to Trowa, who set her back down. "Maybe we should go inside and talk. It's not so safe out here."


It was very cramped in Rei's room, with the five pilots, five senshi, one Tuxedo Kamen, two talking cats, and several cups of tea. After the introductions, (again) Ami set to telling everyone about her readings of Scarf.

"There was a warp in the area, and a distortion where she died."

"But I don't want to fight all of them again!" Usagi wailed, clutching Mamoru, who was shaking his head. "We beat them already!"

"This is your leader?" Heero asked Rei, who nodded and sighed.

"Believe it or not."

"YOU ARE A WEAKLING, WOMAN!" Wufei shouted at Usagi. "THE WEAK DO NOT FIGHT!"

Wufei suddenly found himself being lifted off the ground by Mamoru, who had somehow moved across the room in two seconds, and was pinning him to the wall. "You are not half as strong as my Usako!"

"Your Usako is a WEAKLING! And what is your power? Throwing flowers?"

Mamoru turned red and began to throttle Wufei.

"It IS throwing flowers!" Wufei cackled though the grip.

"They're SHARP flowers!"

"Are they daisies? Or pansies?"

"ROSES! I THROW ROSES!"

"Mamo-chan! Put him down! Please?"

Mamoru ignored her.

Trowa asked Ami, who was still standing, staring, "Are they always like this?"

"Mamoru-san? No, he usually is very quiet. Usagi-chan is though."

"Makoto?" Quatre asked. "Can I have more tea?"

"Sure," Makoto poured for him.

Mamoru, despite Usagi now pulling at his arm, was still trying to kill Wufei, Minako had somehow convinced Duo to braid her hair like his, Rei was telling Heero about all the baka things Usagi had done, including the time she got stuck in a giant tennis ball, Luna and Artemis were trying to figure out how Scarf and the Snow Dancers were connected, and Quatre was telling Makoto about the FANTASTIC tea she had just made. This, all in the same room, led to a lot of noise.

"Guys?" Ami tried, looking helpless. "Everyone?"

Trowa sighed, put his fingers in his mouth and whistled very loudly. That caught everyone's attention.

"Thank you, Trowa-san," Ami sighed.

Trowa nodded.

Ami tried again, this time to a quieter room, "I don't think Scarf, the Snow Dancers and the arrival of you five..." she gestured at the pilots, "are connected directly. As far as I can tell, you five are from a parallel dimension, Scarf and the Dancers from our past. You're unrelated, except that you all have to do with time, or space."

"Then what do we DO?" Usagi asked, finally breaking Mamoru's death grip on Wufei, causing him to fall to the floor.

That caused everyone to burst into another round of chatter.

Ami began to look a little angry. "Guys?"

Trowa got ready to whistle again. Ami stopped him, then shouted, "Be quiet!" at the top of her lungs. Coming from Ami, everyone silenced.

"We need to go to PLUTO."

"How are we going to get there?" Duo asked, tying off Minako's new braid with her usual red bow. Minako raced over to Rei's mirror and squealed happily.

Ami shook her head. "We're not going to PLUTO. We're going to SAILOR Pluto."

"Oh."


One very noisy bus ride later, minus Luna and Artemis, who would be monitoring for further attacks, and Mamoru and Usagi, who took Mamoru's motorcycle, they trooped off the stop and began to walk to the Outer Senshi's house, meeting up with Mamoru and Usagi on the way. As they approached, they heard the battle cry, "Silence Glaive Surprise!" and saw the bolt of light that accompanied it.

"Saturn!" the Inners shouted, breaking into a run.

"Mercury Crystal Power!"

"Mars Crystal Power!"

"Jupiter Crystal Power!"

"Venus Crystal Power!"

"Moon Crisis!"

"Make-UP!"

Mamoru drew out his rose, and transformed.

"I am the pretty sailor suited soldier, Sailor Moon!" Sailor Moon announced as they reached the front yard, leaping over the fence. "And on behalf of the Moon, I will punish you!"

"Oh, hi, Sailor Moon." Sailor Saturn looked up from where she was standing, apparently the place the youma had just been vaporized from. She leaned against her glaive. "I took care of it."

The Gundam pilots only a step behind them, Duo spotted Saturn. "SHE can blow up the universe? She's just a little girl!"

Saturn frowned at Duo. "Who are you?"

"Duo Maxwell, god of death!"

Saturn didn't look very impressed, just shrugging and loosening her grip on the glaive.

"Well," Sailor Moon said, detransforming, "I guess it's over."

"Yeah."

They detransformed.

Saturn lifted an eyebrow, then shrugged again, returning to Hotaru. "Come on in. Michiru-mama, Haruka-papa and Setsuna-mama aren't feeling very well."

"Are they sick?" Ami asked as they entered the house.

There was the sound of throwing up from upstairs. Hotaru winced. "You could say that."

"Hotaru-chan," Rei asked as they went into the living room, "that youma you fought, what did it look like? Did you recognize it?"

"No. But for some reason it thought I was Sailor Moon and wanted to sell me its jewelry."

"Noooo!" Usagi moaned. "That sounds like that witch I dusted the first time I was Sailor Moon!"

"If you killed it, why is it back?"

"That's what we're trying to find out, Hotaru-chan," Ami told her. "Is Setsuna up to seeing us?"

Hotaru frowned thoughtfully. "She's been sleeping. Haruka-papa and Michiru-mama have been throwing up a lot. I had to clean up the living room this morning." Hotaru made a gesture like she was drinking.

The Inner Senshi's eyes bugged out.

Makoto finally managed, "Haruka I can see. And if Haruka, Michiru, but Setsuna? Drinking?"

Hotaru shrugged. "If you want, you can see her. I'll go see if she's up."

"I'm coming with you!" Rei announced, and Ami tagged along, Trowa and Quatre also tailing them. Minako grabbed Duo before he could move.

As they went down the hallway, Haruka emerged from the bathroom in a daze, belched once, then staggered into her and Michiru's room, ignoring the stares.

"Who was that guy?" Quatre asked.

"Haruka-papa," Hotaru replied distractedly, opening another door, this one to Setsuna's room. Setsuna was still asleep, the room very still. Shaking her head again, the two senshi and two pilots peered behind her as she entered the room and picked up the Timestaff. Hotaru crept back out. "Shhh. I don't want to wake her. They all need to sleep."

They went back to the living room, where the others had spread out.

"Setsuna-mama is still asleep, but I brought her Garnet Scepter."

"Why?" Usagi asked.

Hotaru looked at the senshi before her. "Since you're here, looking for her, and the youma I fought is from almost two years ago, there must be a time problem. And since Setsuna-mama can't help you...she said that if she was ever unable to function as Sailor Pluto for a short time, and was needed, that I should give her Scepter to Ami-chan."

"AMI?" Everyone shouted, staring at the blue haired girl, who was looking just as surprised as they. "Why?"

Hotaru turned to Ami, handing her the Timestaff. Ami graciously accepted, watching the center of the garnet begin to turn blue. After a moment, the core of the Garnet Orb was blue, glowing faintly, surrounded in red. Hotaru turned back to the others. "She said Ami because," she held up a finger as she counted each senshi. "Haruka would beat people up with it, Michiru would use it to make herself perfect, Rei would use it to make herself queen of the world," Heero suddenly sat bolt upright, and began to look around.

"Relena's not here, Heero." Quatre told him.

"I wasn't looking for Relena."

"Oh, yeah?" Duo laughed. "She's your girlfriend."

"She is not."

"Then say you don't like her!"

"I've tried to kill her."

"Deny it!"

"Duo...."

"HA! You can't! Heero loves Relena! Heero loves Relena!"

"OMAE WO KOROSU, DUO!"

"AHH! EW! NO! Don't say that! You only say that to people you love!"

"THIS IS NOT A YAOI!"

"Death Reborn...."

Five senshi and Mamoru began screaming for them to shut up before they were all obliterated by Hotaru.

"AS I WAS SAYING," Hotaru continued. "Rei would make herself queen of the world, Makoto would make all the guys look like senpai, Minako would use it to be an idol, and Usagi already has the Imperium Crystal, so it wouldn't be fair for her to have TWO relics."

"And you, Hotaru?" Ami asked. "Why not you?"

Hotaru looked embarrassed. "I might drop it."

Everyone sweatdropped.

"Well," Ami said, looking nervous. "We should get back to Tokyo. If you were attacked out here, there must be more portals opening up there."

"Do we HAVE to take the bus again?" Minako whined. "Wufei kept stepping on my feet."

"INSOLENT WOMAN!"

Rei slapped him upside the head. "What IS it with you and your fixation with yelling 'woman'?!?"

"GET OFF ME, WOMAN!"

"I'M NOT ON YOU, BAKA!"

Trowa whistled again to get everyone's attention. After they quieted, he asked, "Hotaru, do you have a car?"

"Haruka-papa has a car and a motorcycle."

"Trowa-san, none of us can drive," Ami warned him.

The five pilots looked very smug. "We can drive ANYTHING." Duo told them proudly. "We're GUNDAM pilots."

Minako asked him, "What's a Gundam?"

The five boys had varied expressions of despair. "They're big robots," Duo told her, "And they're really cool. We get to blow stuff up."

"That is not our objective, Duo," Heero said. "Our missions are for the good of the colonies."

"Yeah, but we still blow stuff up."

Heero smacked his forehead.

"Are we splitting up, then?" Quatre asked the group, looking around.

"That would be most effective," Heero stated. "Our mission is to seek out and destroy youmas. This mission has been accepted by the Gundam pilots."

"Um, okay." Usagi said. "Mamo-chan and I will go on his motorcycle."

"I'm with Duo!" Minako shouted, grabbing his arm.

The others looked around between each other. Heero took charge. "Wufei, Quatre, you two and Makoto will stay together."

"What!" Mako cried, looking in horror at Wufei.

"I will not work with a weak woman!"

"Shut up, plastic hair!"

"INJUSTICE!"

Heero sighed and looked at Quatre, who was looking like he was about to be shot. "Try to keep them from killing each other." Quatre nodded nervously. "Rei and I will take the car."

Rei grinned.

"Trowa, you and Ami take the motorcycle."

They nodded.

"Ami-chan?" Hotaru asked.

"Yes?"

"The Timestaff. You use it to send the youmas back to their right time and place."

"Y-yes," Ami agreed, looking at the Timestaff.

"Oh, Trowa, Heero?" Hotaru warned, "If you dent or harm Haruka-papa's car or bike...." Hotaru drew a finger across her throat. Heero and Trowa nodded, understanding.


"Lord Vader," the Stormtrooper captain said formally, "we have been taking scans of the area, and have determined that we have indeed traveled, not only through time, but through dimensions. It may be as Kaguya says, that there is no Galactic Empire here."

"Haw...purr....very well. You are dismissed."

When the Captain hesitated, Vader rasped again, "Haw...is there a problem Captain?"

"No sir. There is more to report."

"And? Purr...."

The Captain made a gesture at two other troopers behind him, carrying a gym bag. They hurried forward. "The Snow Dancers have been collecting these thermal detonators throughout the city. They seem to be popping up everywhere. Kaguya has ordered them to collect anything that has been displaced temporally."

"Yes. The Force is strong around them," Vader used his powers to levitate one of the red and white balls to him. "A thermal detonator?" he mused. No, not a detonator...but something far more frightening....


They broke up, after Heero and Rei dropped off Quatre, (who was covering his ears) Makoto and Wufei at the park.

Heero and Rei began to cruise along, until Heero began to get bored. "Rei, is there a particular base that these youmas live? Can it be destroyed?"

"A base? No. They usually just show up."

"You mean you don't go to them?"

"Uh, no?"

"Then we just drive and wait for THEM?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

Heero growled. He didn't like this. He wanted to DO something.


Trowa and Ami were speeding along easily in Haruka's motorcycle, Ami carrying the Timestaff along side them in one hand, the other around Trowa's waist as she held on. They had decided to patrol the streets. Apparently, until Setsuna woke up and reformed the timestream, she could send them back, but not much more. "Anywhere in particular?" Trowa called over his shoulder through the wind.

"No. Just keep going."

It was getting a bit boring as they searched, but then, no news was good news. No youma, nothing to report. Ami tapped Trowa on the shoulder. "Let's slow down."

Trowa slowed the motorcycle.

Ami looked back and forth, searching for anything. They passed three very confused looking girls, one in red, one in blue, and one in green. The one in blue was shouting at what appeared to be a very large marshmallow. Ami shook her head, thinking of Rei. They soared past, and Ami drew out her computer, and began to search for distortions. "Trowa! Wait!"

He slammed on the brakes. "Find something?"

"Back a bit. A distortion on the screen."

He twisted around and looked at what Ami was seeing. He wheeled back and spun the bike, shifting up gears as they tracked. A black portal was closing as they reached it, a very large blob of SOMETHING beginning to examine its surroundings, which happened to be an alleyway. It spotted Trowa and Ami and threw out its arms, which extended, looking like mud.

The bike went out from under them as Trowa dodged, sending them both rolling.

"Trowa?"

"Ami? Are you all right?"

"Yes."

They looked at the youma.

"Where's the Bat?" the clay man demanded, shouting.

"The Bat?" Ami asked.

"BATMAN! Where is he?"

"Who ARE you?"

"Clayface!"

Trowa shook his head. "Weird," he muttered.

"If I can't kill him, then I'll kill you!" Clayface's arm suddenly became a sword, and he began a lumbering charge at Trowa, who just backflipped over him.

"What?" Clayface spun, searching.

"Ami! Get the Staff!"

"On it!" She broke into a run for it, where it had skittered several yards away.

Clayface wasn't particularly stupid, and when the enemy wanted something in the middle of a fight, he probably wouldn't want them to have it. "No you don't!"

Another stream of mud slung out of his arm, and hit Ami in the side, flinging her into the brick wall with a hard thud.

"Didn't anyone teach you to be gentle with a lady?" Trowa drew his gun, shooting into the mud man's back, but Clayface just absorbed the bullets. Ami kicked and fought with the mud pinning her there as Trowa searched for a more useful weapon than his empty clip.

"Mercury Crystal Power! Make-UP!"

The henshin sequence began, and Clayface staggered back as the light hit him in the eyes. Moments later, Sailor Mercury called, "Shine Snow Illusion!" Her hands actually within Clayface's arm, the ice spread all the way up, and Trowa took the chance, leaping and shattering the ice, sending Clayface reeling into the wall.

Mercury dropped to the ground, and began to head for the Timestaff again. She heard a strangled gasp as she grabbed it, turning to see Trowa getting lifted off the ground by the youma, not struggling, but staring fearlessly at the monster.

"Let him go!" Mercury cried, lifting the Timestaff above her, preparing her attack.

"Fire Arrow!"

"What?" Mercury spun around. That wasn't Mars' attack. It sure looked like it though. Behind her stood the three girls they had passed earlier, the one in red bringing a sword down from the air. The multiple strands of arrow were hitting Clayface, baking him. Trowa landed a kick to the giant hand holding him, breaking it. He landed neatly, rolling out of the way.

"Let's finish this," the girl in blue huffed, tossing a length of hair over her shoulder. "Water Dragon!"

A giant stream of water in the shape of a dragon charged out from her hand, blasting Clayface and sending him into several globs in the alleyway.

"Thanks," Mercury managed, staring at them.

"No problem!" The one in red said cheerfully, waving.

"Hikaru, we'd better leave," the green one urged the smaller girl along.

"Aw, Fuu...."

"Come ON," the blue girl said, pulling Hikaru along.

"Wait!" Mercury called, but they had turned and run away.

"Let them go," Trowa advised. "You don't know them?"

"No."

"More transfers?"

"Probably."

"I am going to KILL whoever just...." Mercury and Trowa turned around to see Clayface reforming in the alley, bits of scattered mud joining together.

"Ahem," Mercury held the Timestaff above her. She closed her eyes a moment, concentrating, then opened them again, poised and ready, watching Clayface pull the last of himself together. "Timeriver Return."

Out of the Orb, misty ribbons of water sped, encasing Clayface as he roared pointlessly at the attack. A moment later, the alley was empty. Mercury was smiling at Trowa. "Well, that was fun."

"Shall we continue our search?"

"Certainly."

She detransformed, and after her helped her onto the back seat, they were off again.


Heero and Rei had parked the car, and were wandering around downtown Tokyo aimlessly. Heero's face was blank (as usual) as Rei was wandering around in a toy store of all things, pointing out cute stuffed animals as she went. "Oh, isn't this one adorable?" Rei held up a teddy bear with a bow. "Heero! Look!"

"I do not like shopping. We should be fulfilling our mission."

"Our mission? Heero, we don't know where the youmas are. Just relax."

"What is relax?"

Rei sweatdropped. "You have no life, do you?"

"No."

"What about that girlfriend Duo mentioned?"

"Relena is not my girlfriend."

"Then why did you get so upset when he brought her up?" Heero just glowered at her. Rei sighed and pushed the teddy bear at him. "Get it for her."

"I am not going to buy a stuffed bear."

"Heero, you're too serious."

"I want to continue my mission."

Rei shook her head, setting the bear back down.

"AHHHHHH!!!"

On cue, Heero and Rei turned, running. "Mars Crystal Power! Make-UP!"

They charged though the front door, running full tilt. They froze as they watched one of the trees lining the sidewalk finish uprooting itself, and say, "Makuji!"

Mars gasped as she leapt onto the hood of a car. "You're that youma that tried to steal my heart crystal! Ooooh, you are gonna PAY! I am Sailor Mars, and on behalf of the planet Mars, I will-!"

BANG!

Makuji's eyes rolled up into her head and she fell backward, a hole in the middle of her forehead. Mars turned and stared at Heero, who was literally holding a smoking gun. He began to do that weird Heero 'I got to kill something' laugh, then got quiet again.

"HEERO! You shot her in the head!"

"Yeah."

"Well..well...you..you can't DO that!"

"Why not?"

"Because...you have to give a SPEECH first!"

"Why?"

"Because you HAVE TO!"

Heero just grunted and began to walk down the street.

Mars sighed, shaking her head. "Men."


"I don't see why WE got stuck with the bus," Minako complained. "I hate public transportation."

"Well, we're not on the bus anymore, Minako."

"Yeah," she sighed, looking up dreamily. "We're at the mall."

"Why did you want to come to the mall to look for monsters?"

Minako grinned, taking Duo's arm and steering him down the hall. "Because the mall is FUN! And weird people come to the mall. See?" She pointed at a man wearing a diaper and strolling around, much to the gawking of other customers. She angled Duo into a bookstore.

"You want to buy a book?"

"Oh, no! They have manga! I want to see if the new Sailor V is out."

"Who's Sailor V?"

Minako grinned evilly, and whispered in his ear, "Me."

"You get your own comic book?"

"Yep! And movies, and posters, and all kinds of cool stuff!"

"I want my own comic book!"

Minako laughed, and buried herself in the comics section with graphic novels. Half an hour later, Duo managed to drag Minako away from her Sailor V book, and they headed for the food court, grabbing a nacho pretzel on the way. Around a mouthful of pretzel, Duo asked, "Are you sure we shouldn't be looking for monsters?"

The people at the next table looked over their shoulders, giving Duo a weird look. Minako hissed, "Duo, keep it down."

"Sorry. But shouldn't we be?"

Minako didn't look too worried. "Nah. They'll find us-"

"AHHHH!!!"

"Right about now."

"Do people always start screaming like that?"

"Yes! Transformation time! Be right back!" Minako ran off towards the bathrooms.

"You're going to go to the bathroom NOW?!? Minako! Come back! Ah, damn!" he turned, running for the screaming, drawing his gun as he went.

In the middle of the food court, three cyborg looking people were standing, their skin shades of grey and purple, veins bulging where not covered in metal. From one of their eyes, a tiny red lazer swept around, and they began to break apart, moving towards the quickly vacating tables of screaming people.

Duo slid to a stop, gun pointing at the youma. "Okay, whatever you are. Uh...don't move!" The three just stared at him, the lazer hitting him in the face.

"Stop right there! I am Sailor Venus, Champion of Love and Beauty, and I will not let you cause harm to these innocent people! On behalf of the planet Venus, I will punish you!"

She struck a pose, and Duo shouted, "I want a speech!"

"Then say one!"

"Really? Cool! THE GOD OF DEATH IS BACK FROM HELL!!! Bwahahaha!"

"That's not a speech!"

"It is now!"

Cutting off any further argument, a VOICE echoes from the ceiling, sounding very frightening and scary. "We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. Your knowledge will be added to our collective. Resistance is futile."

"Where'd that come from?" Duo began to look at the ceiling. "Is there someone up there?"

"I don't think so. But that line could get real old real fast. Don't you think you could have something more creative?"

One of the drones stepped forward, the little spinning hook on the end of its arm clicking at them. "Creativity is not in our programming. I am zero two of unimatrix...."

The Borg didn't finish. "YOU'RE zero two? I'M zero two! That 's not fair!"

"Duo, we can't send it back, so just shoot it."

"Yeah, whatever," Duo took aim and shot zero two in the eyepiece. Zero two fell over, shaking and then going limp. The two other Borg began to move forward. Duo shot again, but shields began to form around them. "They can do that? Hey, that's no fair!"

"Venus Love-me Chain!"

The line of hearts sliced through the air, and went through the first of the drones armoring, piercing the heart.

"All right, V-chan!"

Venus bowed politely as the third drone began to approach. Duo backed up a bit closer to Venus. "Venus Love-me Chain!" she cried again. This time, the armor blocked it. "Uhh..." Venus stammered. "Crescent Beam!" Again, the attack was blocked. Venus and Duo were backing up further as the drone brought up an arm. "Venus Love and Beauty Shock!"

Still no effect.

"Um, Duo?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm out of attacks."

"Running away sounds good."

"AHHHH!!!"

They ran down the escalators, heading for the center mall. "At least it moves slow!" Venus called to Duo.

"Venus! Look!" he pointed at some modern sculpture that was decorating the center mall.

When the Borg drone finally made its way to them, it focused in on Duo, who was casually leaning up against a pillar. Duo waved. "Hey, you bucket of bolts! I'm over here! You're more worthless than a Leo! I'm gonna use you for parts for Deathscythe Hell! You hear me? You call yourself a monster? Come on! Lemme have it! You probably can't even shoot anything, loser! Wufei would call you a weakling, you walking tin can!"

The Borg began to walk stiffly forward, a pair of prongs extending from its arm. "You will be assimilated. Resistance is...."

"Crescent Beam!"

There was the sound of metal crushing, and the hot smell of molten iron as Venus's lazer cut through the bottom of the towering sculpture, sending it crashing down on top of the final drone with a sickening crunch.

"Duo, you're brilliant!" Venus cried happily as she leapt out from behind a potted plant. She kissed him happily on the mouth, and Duo's eyes bugged out for a moment. Venus blinked, realizing what she was doing, then drew back, blushing.

After a moment, he asked, "Do you want to do that again?"

She stared for a moment at him, then nodded very slowly.


Usagi and Mamoru were sitting in front of Tokyo Tower on a park bench. "Mamo-chan. We haven't found anything, and I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry."

"Mamo-chan!" Usagi tugged at his arm. "It takes a lot of food to keep me strong enough to be a Champion of Justice!"

Mamoru sighed, shaking his head. He should be used to this by now, and he was, but sometimes Usagi and her bottomless pit of a stomach could empty his wallet faster than a credit card bill. "What do you want?"

"Orange chicken from Little China Express!"

"All right. Come on...Usako, look." Mamoru pointed at three figures who were walking towards them. Two of the figures were hanging back from the one in the lead, who was cackling quietly to himself.

"Hehheh...heh. Heh," the figure was shaking, eyes inverted and focused on the ground.

"Quatre-san?" Usagi asked worriedly, and when the boy didn't answer, she looked at Makoto and Wufei, who were looking very scared. "Mako-chan, what happened to Quatre-san?"

Makoto went pale, and Wufei hid behind her.

"Ah, we didn't know...." Makoto stammered to begin.

"THEY SHOULDN'T BE FIGHTING AT ALL!!!! " Quatre screamed, "WE'RE ON THE SAME SIDE! IDIOTS!"

Wufei peered out from behind Makoto. "Uh, Usagi, Mamoru. Quatre...he gets a little psychotic now and then."

Wide eyed, they watched Quatre walk around in a daze, then find a couple in the park, and begin to lecture them on the evils of war.

"We fought a youma...and uh," Makoto gestured weakly at Quatre. "And then this."

Mamoru frowned at them. "Were you two fighting again?"

Makoto and Wufei hung their heads.

Quatre began to laugh maniacally again, causing the couple to turn and run off screaming from the possessed Gundam pilot. Quatre began to look around for a new person to lecture about pacifism. He found it all right, flying above him and straight into Tokyo Tower.

"A monster!" he yelled, and ran straight for the building, flinging open the doors and running inside. "I won't let it kill more people!"

"Mako-chan! Transform!"

"Jupiter Crystal Power! Make-UP!"

"Moon Crisis! Make-UP!"

Mamoru drew out his rose, and transformed silently.

Wufei just drew out his sword.

Jupiter, on her way in, flipped on her communicator. "Rei-chan! Minako-chan! Ami-chan!"

Rei's worried face popped into view. "Jupiter? Where?"

"Tokyo Tower!"

"On our way!"

A moment later, the image switched, and the scrambled view of something moved out of the viewscreen. "Jupiter?" Minako appeared, looking a bit flushed. "What?"

"Youma. Tokyo Tower. Could be a base."

"Now?"

"Yes, now!"

"Oh fine...."


The comm beeped as Ami came onto screen, hair flying around her head, as she was riding on the motorcycle. "Jupiter! Trowa and I are on our way!"

"Okay!"

"Mercury out!"

Ami flipped the communicator to a close, and as Trowa cut a sharp turn down a narrow street, she called out, "Mercury Crystal Power! Make-UP!"

Trowa nearly leapt out of his seat at the strange feeling that Ami's transformation caused against his back. They sped down into Tokyo Tower's courtyard, Trowa kicking the motorcycle into park and leaping off, followed by Sailor Mercury. From within the structure, a beam of light blasted though the ceiling, accompanied by a "Moon Gorgeous Mediation!"

"Sailor Moon!" Mercury began to run forward, then stopped.

"What is it?"

Mercury frowned, then tapped her visor, sliding it across her eyes. "We've had to fight in Tokyo Tower before. If that's the enemy base, then we should be careful. There's got to be a back way in."

"When dealing with a unknown enemy, the element of surprise is highly advantageous."

"Right. I have it. Let's go."


Heero, it seemed, liked to drive like a maniac. The freshly transformed Sailor Mars staggered out of the passenger seat, looking dizzy. "Does Haruka's car look like an ambulance to you? Three red lights...."

"The battle has begun without us. We should...."

Green leaves blew out another window, followed by an electric charge.

"Jupiter!" Mars broke into a run, high heels clipping against the ground.

"Wait!"

"Fire Soul!" Mars burned open the front doors, which were now covered in ice. "I'm coming!"

"Baka," Heero muttered. "Now they know we're here."


Inside, there was quite a bit of cackling going on. Somehow, Quatre had gotten ahold of a metal pipe, and was trying very hard, (and with moderate success) to clobber the attacking Snow Dancers. His insane laughter was mixing with the weird giggling of the Snow Dancers, and the very loud screeching of Kaguya-hime, who was towering over her minions, urging them on. The entire inside of Tokyo Tower was a freezer, ice hanging everywhere.

"The universe is all mine! Bwahahaha!!!"

"Oh, would you get OVER it already?!?" Sailor Moon shouted back. "We're not one of your accessories!"

"You won't stop me this time!!!"

"Wanna bet?" Sailor Moon went straight for the Imperium Silver Crystal. "To a world that nurtures life!"

"Sailor Moon!" Mars shouted as she burst in. "No! You'll die again!"

Heero looked at her. "How many times has she died?"

"A lot."

"As many as me?"

"I don't know. How many times did you die?"

"I lost count."

"Oh. Well, she usually dies once or twice every year or so."

Kaguya was yawning. "Sailor Moon, are your friends done chatting? I want to turn the world into a popcicle TODAY."

"All right, all right. To a world that..."

"Sailor Moon!" This time it was Tuxedo Kamen.

"WHAT?"

"You can't form the Legendary Power of Hope and Friendship without ALL the senshi, and there's a bunch not here!"

"Oh."

"Oh, hohoho! Fight me on your own, you little girl!"

"You got it, hentai princess!"

"I am not a hentai!"

"You're not wearing a shirt!"

"I'm made of ICE! I don't NEED a shirt!"

"Whatever. Moon Gorgeous Meditation!"

Kaguya-hime drew her cold power around her, and blasted Sailor Moon's attack back, sending Sailor Moon flying. Again.

"Mars! Everyone!" Jupiter called. "Together!"

"Right!"

"Jupiter Oak Evolution!"

"Mars Flame Sniper!"

Heero: "...!"

Wufei: "AHHHHH!!!"

Quatre: "Bwahahahaa! Kill, kill, kill!!!"

Tuxedo Kamen: The beauty of the winter will not be corrupted by the malice of the cold hearted, but the warmth of the heart will prevail!"

Several Snow Dancers turned to look at Tuxedo Kamen, and said, "Huh?"

Chunks of ice started flying as bioelectric leaves, fiery arrows, and bullets flew around the room. Wufei carved one of the Snow Dancers into a pretty ice sculpture of Nataku with his sword. Quatre just kept on clobbering stuff. Tuxedo Kamen joined Quatre after a moment, using his cool extending cane thing.

Despite all this, there were a lot of Snow Dancers in the very little space, and the fact that Kaguya was randomly blasting ice at people wasn't helping the good guys. "I am Sailor Moon...and I will not be defeated!" Sailor Moon was back on her feet, and holding the kaleidoscope before her. "I will not...lose!"

"Oh, really? Aghhh!" Kaguya hurled another blast of blue ice at her, and Sailor Moon leapt out of the way, rolling aside. "You cannot defeat me! Ahaha!"

From behind her, a voice called out, "Maybe not, but I can send you back!"

"What?"

Behind Kaguya, Sailor Mercury and Trowa were standing, Mercury with Pluto's Timestaff in the air. "Timeriver....Return!"

Around the Garnet Orb, heavy wreaths of mist and water gathered around it's glow, and Mercury pointed it straight at Kaguya-hime.

"No...this light!"

The blast of lighted water and mist hissed out, striking Kaguya.

"The same light that brought me here! No! This isn't FAIR!!!"

There was some more pointless screaming as Kaguya and her ice maiden minions were sucked back into their proper timeline.

"Mercury-chan!" Sailor Moon screeched, running over and hugging her friend. "That was so cool!"

Mercury smiled and tried not to laugh as everyone started to crowd around, talking at once. "Well," Mercury managed, "at least everything is back to normal."

The ice had gone, and though the windows were still blasted out, everything was back to normal, telescopes overlooking the bay in place, and carpet swept clean.

Jupiter got an idea. "I say we go to Rei's and party!"

"Hey! Why MY place?"

"We ALWAYS go to your place!"

Eventually, they took the elevator downstairs and headed outside, everyone still chattering. Tuxedo Kamen had to take Quatre's pipe away from him, because he was trying to bash in Wufei's ice Nataku, which for some reason did not return with the other Snow Dancers.

It was during the chatter that Trowa tapped Mercury on the arm and pointed ahead of them. Mercury's eyes widened, and exclaimed, "Look!"

Several sets of eyes moved forward to see what she was staring at. In front of them stood a man in black, carrying a red glowing lightsaber, flanked by about a dozen white armored Stormtroopers, blasters leveled and ready.

Sailor Moon stepped forward. "Who are you?"

"I am Darth Vader, Sith Lord of the Dark Side."

Sailor Moon: "Where are you from?"

Vader: "Far, far away."

Sailor Moon: "That's descriptive."

Vader: "I am here to take over the world."

Sailor Moon: "Who isn't?"

"I claim this planet for the Galactic Empire, and for..." he hesitated, thinking. "For myself, since I proclaim myself Emperor."

Jupiter rolled her eyes. "You and what army?"

"Stormtroopers."

Each of the armored men slung their blaster rifles behind their backs and drew out two-toned red and white balls.

"Attack."

The entire line of Stormtroopers shouted, "I choose you!" and threw Poke-balls at the soldiers.

Out of the balls popped bizarre looking creatures, some recognizable, others looking like mutated animals, and even others not really resembling anything at all. Only Vader and the Captain did not throw theirs.

A yellow mouse began to chant, "Pika...pika...pika...." at Tuxedo Kamen, but didn't get to finish, because a yellow "Crescent Beam!" blasted it.

"V-chan!" Mars screeched, pointing a finger accusingly. "You're LATE!"

"Well, excuse me! I had to take PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION!" Venus and Duo ran into the senshi and pilot battle line.

"Oh really? Are you sure you and Duo weren't making out?"

Venus and Duo turned purple.

Mars blinked in a amazement. "You mean you WERE making out?!?"

"Squirtle!"

A shot of water hit Mars in the head and she fell over. "Ow...." she sat began to crawl up. "A sea-foam green TURTLE? You have GOT to be kidding me! Burning Mandala!"

Farewell, Squirtle.

Arbok had gotten itself wrapped around Duo, and Venus called out, "Venus Love-me Chain!" to rescue him.

Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen were double teaming Geodude, who had picked up Sailor Moon and thrown her into a nearby tree. A florist shop full of roses torpedoed the armed rock, and began exploding.

Blastoise, Starmie and Wheezing were chasing Jupiter, Heero (who had just run out of bullets) and Wufei around in circles. Polywhirl was trying to hypnotize Mercury and Trowa into giving it the Garnet Scepter, but they were trying to resist.

Quatre was being backed up into a tree by Persian, who was roaring at him. Quatre tried to wack it on the head with his pipe, (which he had gotten back from Tuxedo Kamen when he started fighting) but it leapt out of reach, and then sprung at Quatre again, who had no time to react.

"Silence Wall!"

Persian hit an invisible wall, and dropped unconscious to the ground.

Sailor Saturn stepped up beside Quatre, who was staring at the cat. "Are you all right, Quatre?" She leaned against the Silence Glaive.

"I thought you were staying home to take care of the others."

"It was quiet. So I came here. To help protect my friends."

"You're so little though."

Saturn shrugged. "Maybe. But I can still fight. Come on."

He stared at her a moment, then his eyes returned to normal, and he nodded as they joined the fight.

Slowly but steadily, the senshi and pilots prevailed over the rampant Pokemon, either knocking them unconscious and sending them back to their Poke-balls or just blowing them up.

The Captain of the Stormtroopers finally stepped forward and threw his Poke-ball. "I choose you, Jigglypuff!" A pink marshmallow popped out of the ball, and exclaimed,

"Jigglypuff!"

Wufei snorted. "That is a WEAK weapon!"

"Ooooh!" Sailor Moon exclaimed. "It's so cute!"

The Captain told the Pokemon, "Sing, Jigglypuff! Sing!"

"Jiggggggggllllyyyyypuuuuufffffff....." It began to repeat the slow song of its name over and over and over and over and over again. "Jiiiiiggggglllyyyypuuuuffff...."

Duo and Venus fell flat on their faces and began to snore.

A moment later, Wufei, Quatre, Jupiter and Saturn began to stagger down, covering their ears. "Make it stop!" Mars screamed, trying not to listen as she too began to fall down. "Make it stop!"

"Usako! Don't sleep!" Tuxedo Kamen tried in vain to hold Sailor Moon up, himself falling to his knees. Mercury and Trowa were on their hands and knees. Heero, though, appeared to be doing some sort of mind control thing, and was still standing with his eyes plastered wide open.

"Mamo-chan...I'm so sleeeeeeeeepppieeeee....."

"Sailor...Moon...." Mercury breathed as her eyes began to droop. "Sing...."

"Sing...?"

Tuxedo Kamen fell over, unconscious. "Mamo-chan? Tuxedo Kamen-sama?" She turned her head and saw Mercury and Trowa sprawled out a few feet away, both asleep, and Heero just beyond them, wavering in his weird trance. "Sing?" Sleepily, she giggled, and began, "Gomen ne sunao ja nakute...Yume no naka nkara ieru..." Under her, she felt Tuxedo Kamen flinch at the discord in her voice. "Shiko kairo washohto sunzen...Ima sugu, altai yo."

She sang, and got louder with each verse. There were groans from the other soldiers as they began to wake up to a sound more unpleasant than an alarm on the first day of school. Sailor Moon was getting into it now, and was belting the lines, much to the discomfort of Jigglypuff, who kept trying to sing into its little microphone.

"Nakitaku naru yona 'moonlight!'

Denwa mo dekinai 'midnight!'

Datte junjyoh doushiyou

Haato wa mangekyo!"

Sailor Mars was screaming, "Make it stop! Make it stop!" again covering her ears, but now about Sailor Moon's extremely BAD singing voice.

Heero snapped out of his trance, and karate-chopped Jigglypuff, winning the match.

"TSUKI NO HIKARI NI MICHIBIKARE!

NANDO MO MEGURIAU!

SEIZA MO MATATAKU!"

Tuxedo Kamen got a hand over Sailor Moon's mouth and made it stop.

"Aw, Tuxedo Kamen-sama! I was having fun!"

"Sailor Moon, you were going to kill everyone."

The others were now back on their feet.

"That is a powerful voice you have, Sailor Moon," Darth Vader said, drawing at last his own Pokeball. "But it will have no effect on this Pokemon. I choose..." he threw the ball.

"Charizard!" The orangey-yellow dragon popped out of the ball, towering over everyone else.

"Attack."

"Char!"

A stream of fire blew out of Charizard's mouth, aimed straight at Sailor Moon, who was (of course!) pushed out of the way by Tuxedo Kamen. Everyone broke into a panic as Charizard began to stomp around them, then took off, flying around in circles trying to set everything on fire.

"Silence Wall!" Saturn created her defensive wall, shielding herself, Quatre, Jupiter and Duo. Venus ran out and tried a Crescent Beam, but it only grazed Charizard's side, making him madder.

"Venus!" Mercury cried, and began to bring her arms up to negate Charizard's oncoming fireball. "Shine...."

"Winds of Protection!"

Green winds flew out around Venus and the nearby Mercury and Trowa. Charizard's flames blasted the barrier, bouncing off and back. Everyone turned around to see three very BIG robots flying down to them, landing just behind the battle line.

"IT'S A GUNDAM!!!" Duo shouted, then turned and grinned at Quatre who was staring at him for his exclamation. "I ALWAYS wanted to say that!"

Quatre sweatdropped.

"We'll take care of this!" a voice echoed out from inside the center, fire-winged mobile suit. "Umi! Fuu! Ready?"

"Yes!"

Together, the three Gundams' voices called out, "Light....SPIRAL!"

A ray of light from each blasted out, wrapping around the others, and hitting Charizard full in the chest.

Farewell, Charizard.

From the chests of each other Gundams, a beam of colored light was emitted, and on the ground a girl in intricate armor stood, one in red, one in green, one in blue. They reached for the jeweled gloves on their wrists, and drew out a sword each, ready for battle.

"WOMEN!" Wufei shouted, angrily. "Women can't pilot Gundams! INJUSTICE!!!"

The one in blue, Umi, wheeled on him. "THEY'RE NOT GUNDAMS! They're MASHINS, and DON'T YOU DARE MAKE FUN OF CELES!"

Wufei paled.

"Are you done with your introductions?" Vader asked as the Stormtroopers readied their blasters again.

"Mercury," Trowa said, looking at Vader.

"I will," Mercury agreed.

"Timeriver...."

Vader saw what she was doing, and, using the Force, knew she could send him back. He lifted a hand, and manipulated his power to grab at the Timestaff. Mercury jerked as he tried to wrench it from her grip. She dug her heels into the ground, and found a moment later that Trowa was adding his strength to her own, helping her to pull it back. They slid forward under the force (no pun intended) of Vader's power.

"Sailor...Moon!" Mercury called.

Sailor Moon noticed Mercury and Trowa's predicament, and brought up the Moon Kaleidoscope. "Hold it right there, Darth Vader! I am Sailor Moon, Champion of Love and Justice! And on behalf of the Moon, I will punish you!"

Vader just ignored her and continued to concentrate on Mercury.

The Captain of the Stormtroopers, however, ordered the troops to attack. Blaster fire shot across the space between them as everyone took cover.

"Silence Wall!"

"Winds of Protection!"

The lazer fire ricocheted off the barriers, zooming out into the air.

"Sailor Mercury!" Vader called to her.

"What?" She tugged harder on the Timestaff.

"Sailor Mercury, I am your FATHER!"

Mercury looked up, puzzled. "No you're not. My dad left a long time ago, but I know he's not an evil warlord from another dimension."

"Haw...purr..oh. Trowa Barton...."

"Don't even try it."

Darth Vader switched tactics. "Sailor Mercury, come over to the Dark Side. You will be given power...."

"I HAVE power," Mercury said through gritted teeth.

"Everyone thinks you're weak...."

"I am not weak!"

"Ha. Haha. Hahahahaha! Kaguya was right! Laughing is FUN!"

"You want to laugh? Laugh at this! Mercury Aqua Rhapsody!" Through the connection of the Force, the ice blew Vader off his feet, breaking the connection between them. "Time to end this! Timeriver Return!"


Everything was quite a mess in the area before Tokyo Tower. Five Gundam pilots, six Sailor Senshi, one Tuxedo Kamen, three Magic Knights, three Mashins, and a LOT of damage.

"That was so cool," Duo said, admiring the general destruction.

Everyone other than Duo sweatdropped.

"Pu, Pu pu pu PU!" A white ball of fluff came bounding out of the shrubbery and flung itself at the red haired Magic Knight.

"AHHH!!!" Sailor Moon screamed. "Mercury! It's another POKEMON! GET IT!"

"Sailor Moon, I think that it...."

The girl grinned, and hugged the white marshmallow. "It's okay. Mokona's with us! I'm Hikaru!"

Another LONGER round of introductions went around. The girl in green was Fuu, the girl in blue was Umi, and Hikaru's Mashin was Rayearth, Fuu's Windom, and Umi's Celes.

"Excuse me?" Saturn began as she heard some sirens approaching in the distance. "Guys? I think that...." she sighed, rolling her eyes. "No one ever listens to me unless I'm about to destroy the universe. Death Reborn...."

"AHHHHH!!!!"

"Are you listening now?"

A collective "Yes!" was shouted from everyone, except the Magic Knights, because they had just gotten there and didn't know Saturn could destroy the universe yet.

"The police are coming. Can't you hear them?"

Everyone listened, and heard the distinctive wail of sirens. "Time to leave," Heero decided, heading back to the car.

"Leave where?" Sailor Moon asked everyone.

"Well," Mars said grumpily, "my place. As ALWAYS."

Jupiter frowned. "We wouldn't all FIT at my apartment!"

"SOME of us-!"

Quatre began to cackle, and they shut up, looking nervous. Quatre then stopped and smiled for real. "Hey, if Hotaru can threaten the universe, I can pretend to go crazy."

Wufei sneered at the three towering Mashins. "Where are you three going to hide those FAKE Gundams?"

The three girls turned around, facing their Mashin, and the center gem on their breastplate began to glow. Their respective Mashin suddenly glowed and grew small, sucked into the gem. Hikaru beamed, Fuu smiled shyly, and Umi just downright smirked at Wufei.

"Can we GO?" Duo demanded impatiently.

It was an interesting trip to Sendai Hill temple. Heero drove Haruka's car, Rei tried shoving Umi aside for shotgun, and got Water Dragon-ed out of the way, since Umi didn't have to power up to use her magic. That sent Rei into a frenzy of "Ako Ryo Tai San's" and Fuu silently slipped into the side seat, sticking Rei and Umi both in the back. Hikaru was squished into the door, clutching Mokona, who was Pu-pu-pu-ing like crazy. Heero wanted to have nervous breakdown, but since he was the invincible HEERO he couldn't.

"Heero-san? What are you looking for?" Fuu asked politely when Heero began to look for something on the dashboard.

"A self-detonate button."


"You mean you HOT WIRED Setsuna's car?"

Hotaru grinned. "She hides the keys from Haruka-papa, because of how Haruka drives, and doesn't tell anyone where she puts them."

Minako was staring at the little soldier of death and destruction. "Unbelievable. Haruka-san taught you?"

"Of course."

It was a practical, family sized Toyota. "Hotaru-chan, I don't think you should drive it back," Makoto told her. "I can't believe you got it here."

Hotaru looked a little mischievous. "I do other things than collect lamps."

"Like what? Fly airplanes?"

"Helicopters."

"Huh?"

"Nothing."

"Can I drive?" Duo asked.

Quatre and Wufei: "NO!"

The girls looked at the boys. "Why?" Minako asked.

"Because Duo...." Quatre began uncertainly.

"Drives like a LUNATIC!" Wufei finished. "I will drive! I would NEVER drive Nataku the way he drives Deathscythe!"

"What's wrong with how I drive Deathscythe?"

"Death Reborn...."

"AHHHH!"

"Quatre will drive," Hotaru decided. "Hopefully we will all fit."


Mamoru and Usagi had taken Mamoru's bike, and Trowa still had Haruka's motorcycle, so he and Ami just kept to that. The bikers arrived first, Heero hot on their heels, since he wanted to get away from the screaming Rei and Umi. Another fifteen minutes later, Setsuna's Toyota pulled VERY SLOWLY into the temple, since Quatre was driving, everyone piling out.

Ami murmured, "They look like they're in a clown car."

"Those aren't so bad, actually," Trowa commented.

"Huh?"

"Um, never mind."

Eventually, through discussion, (much of it very loud) it was decided that the boys would stay at Mamoru's apartment, and all the girls would have a sleepover at Rei's.

Fuu expressed some concern about their staying their any longer, since they had just completed the battle with Zagato, and still needed to save Cephiro and Princess Emeraude. Ami had thoughtfully told her that she was certain that they would be returned to the exact same second they left. Heero had the same worry, and that now solved, they broke up, deciding to meet again the next day to be sent back. Hotaru called home, getting a slightly groggy Michiru, and explained where she was. Michiru was still a bit hung over, and didn't ask how she got there, but understood she was at a senshi's house, and hung up.

Most of the girl's evening was chatting. Hikaru and Usagi seemed to be having a 'lets see who can be cheerful the longest' contest, Fuu and Ami were discussing quantum physics or something reeeeaaaallly complicated because no one else had a clue what they were talking about, and Makoto and Umi discovered that they each liked to cook, and ended up taking over Rei's kitchen. Grandpa and Yuuichirou had run away to hide in the temple because of the overdose of estrogen in their house.

Umi was teaching Makoto her special triple decker raspberry chocolate fudge cake, and Makoto showing Umi how to make her 'special' meatloaf.

When Mokona destroyed Umi's cake, in a fit of "Pu-pu-puu"-ing Umi went ballistic and chased it all over with a pillow, causing Mokona to start manifesting food from the little jewel in its forehead in order to keep Umi from killing it.

That eventually led to the idea for a party the next day.


"Surprise!"

"GAHHH!" Quatre leapt back and fell into Duo, who fell into Wufei, who fell back to Heero, who sidestepped, and Trowa, who also got out of the way. Mamoru just stared.

"You five are almost as bad as Usagi and her friends."

The girls had completely redecorated Rei's living room, and tables with food were sprawled out all over the place, some Mako's, some Umi's, and a LOT from the terrorized Mokona, who was now in hiding from Umi.

"Hey," a voice called out from behind Mamoru. "are we invited?"

Haruka, Michiru and a grumpy looking Setsuna were standing there.

"Come in! Come in!" Usagi squealed. "Hurry! There's LOTS of FOOD!"

"And there won't be if we let her get it all...." Haruka grumbled, shaking her head and heading inside after the Gundam pilots.

"Mamo-chan! Eat this!"

Mamoru had no choice. A cookie was shoved into his face. He prepared to turn green. He didn't. He actually....swallowed. "Usako? Did you make this?" Usagi was beaming, and Mamoru snuck a suspicious look at Makoto, who shook her head and shrugged, saying, 'not me.'

"Yes! By myself too!"

"Amazing."


"I have a sword, too," Haruka told Wufei as she stuffed a slice of pie into her mouth. "It's longer than that, and the grip is more intricate."

"But how well made is it? Tempered well?"

"You could say that. It's the Space Sword."

"I have a sword too," Fuu said quietly as she approached. "It gets longer every time my heart grows stronger."

Wufei sniffed, "Women should not wield swords!"

Haruka frowned, swallowing her food. "Why not?"

"Women are weaklings!"

"Oh YEAH?"

"Why are you getting mad?"

"I'M A WOMAN!"

Wufei stared for about two point five seconds before his eyes rolled up in his head and he passed out cold.


"Well," Hotaru said, "I usually don't like to fight. But there was that one time I wanted to destroy the universe."

"Yeah, I see what you mean," Quatre agreed. "I flipped out once on the Zero System...and wanted to destroy all the colonies...."


"Oh, Hikaru, you REALLY should use conditioner!" Michiru was urging the desperately-seeking-salvation Magic Knight. "That braid does NOTHING for you! You have such pretty pinkish-red hair! It works so well for Duo-san, but on you it's just too thin, and just sprouts from the rest of your hair!"

"Mokona! Mokona needs me! Gotta go, Michiru!"

"Wait! Let me fix your hair!"


Umi sighed, finishing the last bit of cake and wiping her mouth delicately. "Mako-chan, how do we know that that was the last of the youma?"

Makoto shrugged, putting down a glass of punch. "Well, we fought not one, but two major enemies yesterday. Usually that means the end of a battle."

"The rifts are sealed," Setsuna told them as she came to get some punch, ladling it into a cup. "Time is functioning normally again. The rifts in the fabric of Space are healed. When you return, all things will be as they were."

"Hey, Sets!"

Setsuna flinched as Haruka slapped her in the back, nearly making her drop the punch. "Haruka-san, what do you want?"

"You never answered me. When was the other time you were drunk?"

Setsuna sweatdropped, slapping her forehead. "Why did you have to remember that?"

"Because it's not like you!" Haruka said cheerfully. "When? In the last century?"

Setsuna sighed. "You know about the Bermuda Triangle, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, it's not just paranoia."

"Really?"


"Heero, could you come here a minute?" Rei called to Heero, who was frowning at the fun everyone else was having. Heero looked up at her, and headed over, following her to the kitchen. "Here," she handed him a stuffed teddy bear with a bow.

"Huh?"

"For your girlfriend!" Rei laughed, then looked scolding, waving a finger. "If you don't, then you will have to deal with the wrath of a very angry Sailor Mars, and probably Venus if I tell her about it."

"When did you get this?"

"This morning before you all arrived," Rei winked. "And believe me, V-chan and I will get Pluto to give us a timekey to hunt you down if you don't! So you'd better!"

Heero continued to frown, but took the bear with him when he left the kitchen.


"I'm gonna miss youuuuuu!!!!" Minako wailed at Duo, looking about ready to start sobbing.

"I'm gonna miss you too."

Stars in her eyes, Minako whispered, "You will?"

"Well, yeah!"

"It's not FAIR!"

"Mina, come on," Duo took her hand and began to drag her outside.

"Where are we going?"

Duo just grinned wickedly.

Minako got the idea and grinned back, following.

When they got outside, Duo and Minako both stopped, gawking very openly at what they saw. Ami and Trowa had apparently beat them to the punch, and were under one of the good luck trees, not paying much attention to their new audience.

"Oh my GOD!" Minako shrieked, and Ami and Trowa broke off, looking a LOT like deer in headlights.

Duo stared, sweatdropping, (it was a very BIG sweatdrop too) and said, "Well they SAY it's always the quiet ones, but THIS is a little much."

"Ami-chan! You're not supposed to be the one hiding out with a guy!"

Ami just turned purple, and Trowa was slowly turning red. Minako's shrieking had caused everyone to run outside, the Magic Knights with weapons coming out of their glove jewels, Heero with his gun drawn, and Usagi, Rei and Haruka halfway through a henshin. (Wufei had stayed inside because he was still unconscious)

"What?!?!" Sailor Moon shrieked, staring. "Ami-chan?"

"Ah, eh heh?" Ami tried to smile weakly, but it didn't really work.

"Ohhhhh...." Umi sighed dreamily. "Just like Fuu and Ferio!"

"Umi!" Fuu exclaimed.

"Hmmmm?"

Mokona then appeared bouncing happily around in front of Ami and Trowa.

"MOKONA! Get back here! I still have to pay you back for that cake!" Umi leapt forward, charging after the jiggly white pillow.

Everyone in the tight space had been leaning on each other to see, and with Umi's movement, they all pitched forward, spilling outside with a lot of shouting.

Ami sighed, shaking her head. "Are your friends like this all the time, too?"

"Only when we have to work together."


They all grouped together an hour later, preparing to leave.

"Heero?" Quatre asked, noticing that he was holding a stuffed animal. "Why the teddy bear?"

Heero didn't say anything.

"Oh...all right. I won't ask."

They all waved good-bye to the Magic Knights, who were once again in full battle armor, ready to continue the fight where they left off.

"Setsuna-san, are you sure you don't want to do it?" Ami asked her.

"You've done fine. Just send them back."

"Okay. Bye Hikaru, bye Umi! Bye Mokona! Bye Fuu! Have fun with that lateral thinking puzzle I gave you!"

"I will! Bye, Ami-chan!"

With a wave, they readied themselves, and Ami held the Timestaff up. "Timeriver Return."

The water and light did its job, and they were minus four more misplacements.

The good-byes with the Gundam pilots had been short, capped off mostly by Duo deciding he could NOT be outdone by TROWA and dipping Minako for a kiss good-bye, leaving her looking a bit dazed, red ribbon askew. (Minako walked around with a sappy grin for the rest of the week) Trowa politely kissed Ami's hand, causing her to blush (yes, again!) and then returned to the circle that was forming with the other pilots.

Ami held up the Timestaff.

"Bye, Duo!" Minako yelled, "We'll visit!" She blew him a kiss and did her peace/victory sign.

Rei shouted, "Heero! Remember what I told you about me and Venus!"

Makoto shook her head sadly, but smiled, and said, "Hey, Wufei! Stay strong!"

"Timeriver...Return!"


"Setsuna-mama?"

"Yes, Hotaru-chan?"

"I was wondering, how many drinks did you have to pass out like that?"

Setsuna frowned, brows furrowing. "Just one."

"One? But Haruka-papa and Michiru-mama....."

"I don't know, Hotaru-chan. Last time it took a lot more than that, and I had never been drunk before."

"That's strange."

"Yes, I suppose it is."


Inside the liquor cabinet at the Outer Senshi house, two white lab mice sat, one sulking, one staring at the pretty colors that were reflected through the alcohol. "Pinky, our plan has failed yet again."

"What's that, Brain?"

"Our plan to wreak havoc in the universe, and in the aftermath of the chaos, to rise and rule the world! Ahahahaha!"

"Brain, why are you laughing like a hyena all of a sudden?"

Brain considered that a moment, and shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe that's why we can never take over the world. We never laugh maniacally enough."

"I like to laugh, Brain!"

"I'm sure you do, Pinky."

Brain sighed sadly, holding a little pill. "It was perfect, too. I even got it into the drink. Wasted!" He lobbed the pill at the garbage can. "Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

"I think so Brain, but why would someone write a book about Dick Cheney from THAT point of view?"

"I don't even want to know where your mind is right now, Pinky."

"Oh, okay! So, Brain, what are we gonna do tonight?"

"Same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!"


Disclaimer:

Dear God, where do I even START? Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi, Chix Comix, Pocket Mixx, Toei Anime, and unfortunately, DiC Entertainment. Magic Knight Rayearth belongs to Clamp, who appear to be half animal, (in the manga) sorta like Hikaru when she gets excited. Gundam Wing belongs to Bandai, and since I don't feel like getting my manga, I don't know the name of the person in Japan who made it originally. Clayface belongs to DC Comics. (hey, an American one!) Pinky and the Brain are Warner Bros., by way of Acme Labs. Pokemon belongs to someone in Japan who has entirely too much influence over the minds of young children. Darth Vader belongs to Lucasfilm and George Lucas. Lord Vader wants me to tell everyone he was very upset with the last kid to play him, and he wants someone decent in the next movie. The Borg own themselves, because they assimilated the companies that made them.