Authors Notes: The title has a double meaning. See if you can figure it out. Heheh. More than likely this will be a Sess/Kagome fic, unless I decide to twist things up a bit. But presently, it's pretty twisted up enough I think. I scrapped my old fic 'With or Without You', as it was going no where and I lost focus of the plot. So don't be surprised of you recognize something from that fic in here. I think I might adopt some pieces of that story. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it. It's been quite awhile since I've written and hopefully I'll have more luck with this one.
Soul Purpose
Chapter One
There were no words to describe the death and devastation that lay before them. They, the few, this small entourage of survivors that were neither enemy nor ally, had come together to defeat the dark threat that was Naraku, before his reign of terror turned the lush and green country side into a bleak and deserted wasteland.
And here she stood, between the proverbial good and evil. On her right was the Western Taiyoukai, whom they had encountered previously on many occasions and had time and again come away unscathed. The youkai had fought with them, not out of pride but of survival. To her left was her friend, her companion, the hanyou. With him laid his undead lover and his wolfen rival. And among those three laid the bodies of friend and foe alike, spread about like some morbid sacrificial gathering.
Kagome took in the sight before her, in her hands the little pink globe pulsed to life with her thoughts. Her heart went out to all of them, even though many weren't her friends, they had ended up fighting on the same side. The winning side. The victory, however, was short-lived at the sight of their fallen comrades. Looking down at the pink ball and nodding to herself in silent confirmation, she knew what she must do. She had known all along. Even before the final battle. Everyone had a choice to make, and this was hers.
With careful movements, Kagome walked over to where Inuyasha, Kikyou and Kouga were situated. She glanced over their condition before kneeling down to their level. Hesitantly reaching out, she placed her hand upon Inuyasha's shoulder. Beneath the sheer white curtain of his bangs his amber eyes met hers, but then quickly averted. Whether it was out of embarrassment or guilt, she didn't know. She was brought out of her reverie when she felt a hand on her arm. Her stormy gaze met fiery emeralds as she smiled softly at the fallen wolf. Kouga tried to speak, but was halted when she hushed him, her finger upon his lips in a silencing gesture.
"It'll be okay." Was all she could manage to say at the moment. Inwardly she winced at his confused expression. Kouga wasn't as stupid as Inuyasha sometimes insinuated. He would probably realize it before the rest of them would. Without the power of the shikon shards and with the injuries sustained to his legs, she was sure he wouldn't be able to stop her even if he tried.
Kagome then turned her gaze to the fallen miko that Inuyasha held on to so tightly. Part of her was saddened, knowing she would never be held like that. By him, or anyone for that matter. But she had resigned herself to that fact long before now. She knew the miko had not yet passed on, her soul was still not complete. Neither of theirs were. Kikyou was holding on to what little life she had left. She understood though, her unwillingness to leave Inuyasha. He would be the only thing they ever really had in common.
"What will you do now?"
The voice had startled her, and it was Inuyasha, whom had woken her from her thoughts. She smiled, "I guess I'll make a wish." Yes, such a large wish. The hanyou said nothing but nodded in agreement. He'd long given up the quest for the sacred jewel. It just was not meant to be it seems.
"You cannot make a wish Kagome, it will only taint the shikon." Kikyous voice had cut through her like a knife, steely and cold, "Only a pure heart can use it."
Inwardly she flinched at the remark. She opened her mouth to reply, but someone had already beat her to it. "Ka .. Kagome does have a .. pure heart." Kouga said, trying to move into a sitting position. "I wouldn't have wanted her otherwise."
Kagome couldn't help but smile at his attempt to defend her. It had faltered though, when she realized it was Kouga, not Inuyasha, that had done so. This only cemented her desire to make the wish. They needed each other. They deserved a second chance. She couldn't live with herself if she didn't at least try.
Flashing Kouga a grateful smile, she got up from her spot and stood in the middle of the group once more. Closing her eyes she concentrated on her wish. The one she so desperately wanted, no needed, to make. 'Please, please grant my wish!' was the mantra she repeated over and over in her head as she held the glowing ball in her hands. It surprised her though, when a voice as clear as day answered her.
And what is your wish, little miko?
The images of the fallen flashed through her mind, 'I want to bring everyone back to life and to heal those that were injured.'
All of them? Including the other youkai?
She thought for a moment, trying to understand what it was saying, but then nodded. 'Yes, all of them. Even though we weren't friends or allies, we fought ... and died for the same goal.'
That is quite an undertaking.
'Yes, I know.' Unaware as a small tear slid down her cheek. 'It's what I want. Please ... please bring them back.'
Your wish will be granted, but I cannot bring them back.
'What!? But .. I .. I don't understand!' She almost swore she could feel the voice smile at her confusion.
Only you can bring them back, with the power of your wish. You know what to do child. You could have done it from the start rather than ask me.
'I .. I could of?' She asked, completely confused by this new piece of knowledge.
Indeed. The jewel would of obeyed your wish without hesitation. You are it's protector, it is in your right to ask of it what you want. I am humbled though, that you thought enough to ask first.
The voice had softened when it spoke. It had calmed her some, knowing this. But still, she would of wanted permission before using power that was beyond her.
Go child and bring them back, but understand, such a wish will cost you dearly.
It almost seemed sad at this, but she only nodded. 'I know. I knew before all of this, what would happen. But it's what I want, no matter what the consequences.'
Such a giving child you are, I understand now why you were chosen.
'Chosen? Chosen for what?' Fear and confusion flared in her when she heard the voice chuckle.
That is for another time. Now hurry miko, you don't have much time before their souls depart from this realm.
Opening her eyes as if for the first time, Kagome looked about before heading off towards the small patch of grass where her friends now lay. Kneeling down in front of them, she took in their appearance for the first time since this all began.
Kirara, Sango's faithful friend and companion lay dead a few paces to her left, along with Shippou, the young kitsune that to her had been like a son. Thankfully though, she could see the rise and fall of his chest, alerting her he was still in this world. Her soft gaze swept to the taijiya, hunched over her younger brother, both gone. Her chest tightened at the sight of them both. In the end, Sango could not go against her brother. Naraku knew this and used it against her, ordering Kohaku to kill her.
Sango had been ready for death long before this moment. There was no way she could harm her brother. Dead, controlled or otherwise. Unexpected, however, was the appearance of the houshi. He had been fighting his own battle, but abandoned it and thrust himself in front of the attack, shielding them both. Three had fallen, but only two were gone.
The neko-youkai had been the first Kagome decided. They would need her for the ride back to Kaede's village when all this was through. So with that, she went over and brushed her hand along the soft strands of fur, a light pink glow erupted from her fingers and coursed over the small form. She smiled to herself as she seen the sudden rise and fall of breath from it's body.
Quickly, she moved back over to her other friends. 'Kohaku first.' She thought, running her hand over his forehead, the pink glow rushing out to meet the younger boy. Wasting no time she ran her other hand down Sango's cheek, awakening her from the unearthly slumber. A sigh of relief escaped her as she heard them, then she moved to Miroku, gently bringing her hand into his clothed one, healing him and making sure the deadly void was finally gone. Once she was, she got up from her spot and moved to the next of the fallen soldiers.
Kneeling down next to the wind mistress, she was a bit unsure if she should bring the youkai back, but knew in her heart it was the right thing to do. After all, she couldn't ignore Kagura when she had gone against Naraku in order to save her and Shippou. Kagura had told Kagome with her last breath that she was their only hope. Kagura gave her life so that Kagome may live and destroy the evil half-breed.
Placing her hand over the youkai's heart, Kagome prays for life, then smiles when the pink light flows over Kagura like a gust of wind. 'Thank you Kagura, be free.' The wind goddess slowly blinked open her eyes, a look of shock crossed her face as her vision cleared. She tried to ask, but Kagome hushed her, in the same manner that she did Kouga. "It's okay," She said, "He's gone now." Kagome was up and moving, when the meaning of her words finally registered. For a brief moment her thoughts had settled on Kanna. She knew, had Naraku not absorbed her in a last ditch effort, that she would have revived her as well.
Hands were clenched lightly by her side when she came upon the prone form of the little girl. Even the child had tried to fight in the last battle, though in vain, but never did she give up her will to lose. Unfortunately, she did. Warm stormy eyes glanced to the small green imp laying next to her. They both did. Glancing upwards she noted that the Taiyoukai was still poised in his battle ready stance, though instead of Toukijin, it was Tenseiga in his hand. It was obvious that he had tried to revive them, but for whatever reason it would not comply.
Steely golden met smoky blue as she looked up to him. Cocking his head ever so slightly, he took in her appearance. She looked no worse for the wear, though the power within was radiating off of her like turbulent waves in an ocean storm. Nodding his head in approbation, he moved aside and let her do what she needed. He was sure he knew the intention, but stayed close in case something went awry.
Surprise hit her when the Western Lord gave his approval for her to bring them back. She knew he cared for them, even though he barely, if at all, showed it. Without hesitation she bent down in-between the two, brushing a hand across the imps prone form, "Thank you for protecting her." She said. Paying no mind to whether or not he was yet breathing, she turned her attention to the girl.
Brushing her hand lightly across Rins forehead, she leaned in and whispered quietly in her ear, "Thank you for loving them." After a moment both began to breath again and relief swept through her. Getting up from her knees she turned to Sesshoumaru and bowed respectfully, though she wasn't too surprised to receive a small nod of acknowledgment from the mighty youkai. She smiled softly at him, "Please, be happy." And with that she turned on her heels and walked towards Inuyasha and Kikyou.
Kagome could feel herself starting to become weak, knowing her wish was being granted with every step she took gave her little time. There was only one more thing she had left to do before she could finally be at ease and let her worn body rest. She stopped in front of them, but instead of kneeling she had practically collapsed. And would have if Kouga had not caught her halfway down. Even in his own weakened state he tried to protect her.
She thanked him for catching her and in the brief moment he had her she healed him. He looked down at himself in shock before casting his eyes to Kagome with a questioning expression. She merely smiled at him, the same way she would he would come upon them and claim his love for her. He moved to take her hands in his but she stopped him.
"Kouga .."
He shook his head, "I know. I don't understand or agree, but it's not up to me anymore." He gave a shrug, trying to show his indifference to what he knew. Yes, she figured he'd be the first., "Either way, you're still my woman." She fought the urge to laugh at his remark. Some things never change.
And some things do. Across from her Inuyasha held Kikyou to him protectively. Inuyasha glanced around him, taking in the knowledge that everyone was up and awake, as if they'd come out of some horrid dream. He looked back at her, confusion clearly written in his amber eyes. "What ... what happened?"
"I made my wish Inuyasha." The words had come so easily to her lips, as if it were the most simplest thing in the world to say. He looked on, still confused by all of this. He watched her still as she put her hand on his arm, the soft pink light reaching out to him, engulfing him in it's warmth. "You ... you're healing me .." His eyes widened with this knowledge, though it was more of a statement than a question. Kagome merely nodded her reply as she pulled her hand away and brought it up to gently brush against his cheek.
"I wish I could give you want you want Inuyasha, but I can't. It's not within my power. What you want is something that has to be earned. It's something to desire and work for. It's something only you can do for yourself." It took a moment for him to realize what she was speaking of, "But I know you can do it. I believe in you Inuyasha."
It is then that she reaches out and hugs him tightly, mindful of Kikyou's presence, she whispers softly into his dog-like ears. "I'll always be with you. All of you." Before he can respond her arms pull back and rest in her lap as she sits back and looks at them both. Her attention is then turned to Kikyou.
They watch each other for what seems like an eternity before Kagome smiles softly at her predecessor. "I'm sorry I caused you so much trouble Kikyou. I never meant too. I hope you can understand that." Kagome looks down at her lap, her hands twisting in her skirt as she tries to find the right words.
"I want you both to be happy," She starts, tears pricking her warm blue eyes, "You deserve so much more than what was lost to you. But .. I can only give so much." Kagome then takes Kikyous hand in her own and looks the other miko in the eyes as she speaks.
"This is my gift to you Kikyou. Please ... please be happy. I want you to be happy. I want .. everyone to be happy." She's crying now and everyone has since gathered around the kind-hearted girl, watching and waiting, trying to understand what is happening between the three. It is only when Kagome pulls her hand away from Kikyou, do they realize what's going on.
Like a light in a darkened hall, Kagome's being flickers in and out of existence. Inuyasha tries to grab her hand as she brings it back, but it is in vain as his hand slides easily through hers. He looks at her then, shock evident in his expression as he asks her why.
"It's the way things are Inuyasha."
"Bullshit! That's not good enough!" He wanted to know damnit! How can she be so damned calm about all of this. "Why!?"
"I wanted everyone to be happy."
"What the hell makes you think dying would make us happy!?" He was screaming at her now. It was the only thing he could do to keep the tears at bay.
"We knew this would happen Inuyasha. Maybe not like this. But we knew one of us would end up going." She said, "Let it be me Inuyasha. I was never that good in battle, we knew that. But I survived to bring everyone back."
"But .. Kagome .."
"Inuyasha .. Every great warrior has a final act," She brushed her ghostly hand across his cheek as she spoke. "Let this be mine."
Taking one long look around, Kagome smiled at each one of her friends and even the ones who were not. She laughed a bit then, the sound bathed in love and sadness. "Don't worry. As long as you remember me ... I won't really be gone. Right?" Her laughter was the only proof they had that she ever really existed in the first place.
And in that moment, the last flicker of life had died. Their friend and comrade, their once and awhile enemy, the glue that held them together, their light in the dark had finally faded.