"A Closer View"
Damn, it gets harder and harder everyday, with no pun intended. I keep behind my golden-boy wonder façade. I can't keep up the lies; to Hermione, to myself, and most definitely not him. But how long until it breaks? Not long, I can tell you that, poor Hermione...
I cannot help it, its not lust, its not animal magnetism, it's the feeling I get from being around him, not necessarily from being inside him. He's beautiful, God is he beautiful, but I truly hope that one day I can tell him that. If he knew how he made me feel, how much better he made my life, he would realize how much it hurts for me not to be able to say the three most meaningful words, the three words that express what I truly feel for him, because I am too scared to do it. Screw Gryffindor bravery! Yah, sure it comes in handy while killing a Dark Lord, but when it comes to expressing emotion, ha, you can forget it.
I'm walking down the hall, Hermione attached to my arm, when I see him. He looks at me, those cold grey eyes delving into my very being, not with a look of hatred but disappointment, with longing to hold me close and tell me he loves me. I know he does, and God only knows I want to tell him that I do too, but I can't. I look at Hermione, she's oblivious to the entire situation, and I know I cannot hurt her. But aren't I hurting him too? Shit, stop thinking! I am hurting him...
"Hermione, dear, best friend, I know this isn't exactly the best time or the best place, but Hermione..." I hold her hands in the middle of the hallway, mere feet from Draco. It truly does hurt me to see the look in her eyes, but my chance of salvation is slowly slipping away.
"Harry? What do you mean? Harry...please..." Hermione whined.
"Please Hermione, you have to understand..."
"I just want what's best for you, Harry. I love you," Hermione said with a final note and tear-filled face.
"I love you too, 'Mione, very much. But you have to understand..." I glance at Draco, and all is clear in her eyes, she understands.
"Oh, Harry! I..I see..."
"Thanks, 'Mione."
"I love you, Harry, always have and always will."
"I know Hermione, I love you too."
She hugs me and I breathe her in, the scent of ink and peppermint envelopes me. She so beautiful, but I see her in a friendly kind of way. Now Draco, who smells of ginger and lemongrass and fire and life, is standing down the hall. I quickly make my move before I loose the nerve.
"Harry...?" This is all Draco manages to mutter before I close my mouth over his. He is pinned up against the wall, in a very busy corridor. His first reaction, of course, is to try and resist, but it as if I can almost feel the puzzle pieces falling into place in his mind, and he understands what he just saw...he understands...
"Harry, oh Harry! You did...but you said never...oh my god..." Draco managed to say in between the very public of display of affection that had actually gathered a crowd around it.
"Draco, I love you."
"I love you, too."
Everything now has new meaning; no longer is any of it meaningless. The kiss feels as if its charged in electricity, it vibrates through my body. We decide to break it up before a faculty member does, but he and I are both in a state of bliss as we walk down to the Great Hall for dinner. Although he and I will sit at our respectable tables, and for that time we will have to admire each other from afar, later on, for the first time, we will be able to see each other up close, and upfront.
Damn, it gets harder and harder everyday, with no pun intended. I keep behind my golden-boy wonder façade. I can't keep up the lies; to Hermione, to myself, and most definitely not him. But how long until it breaks? Not long, I can tell you that, poor Hermione...
I cannot help it, its not lust, its not animal magnetism, it's the feeling I get from being around him, not necessarily from being inside him. He's beautiful, God is he beautiful, but I truly hope that one day I can tell him that. If he knew how he made me feel, how much better he made my life, he would realize how much it hurts for me not to be able to say the three most meaningful words, the three words that express what I truly feel for him, because I am too scared to do it. Screw Gryffindor bravery! Yah, sure it comes in handy while killing a Dark Lord, but when it comes to expressing emotion, ha, you can forget it.
I'm walking down the hall, Hermione attached to my arm, when I see him. He looks at me, those cold grey eyes delving into my very being, not with a look of hatred but disappointment, with longing to hold me close and tell me he loves me. I know he does, and God only knows I want to tell him that I do too, but I can't. I look at Hermione, she's oblivious to the entire situation, and I know I cannot hurt her. But aren't I hurting him too? Shit, stop thinking! I am hurting him...
"Hermione, dear, best friend, I know this isn't exactly the best time or the best place, but Hermione..." I hold her hands in the middle of the hallway, mere feet from Draco. It truly does hurt me to see the look in her eyes, but my chance of salvation is slowly slipping away.
"Harry? What do you mean? Harry...please..." Hermione whined.
"Please Hermione, you have to understand..."
"I just want what's best for you, Harry. I love you," Hermione said with a final note and tear-filled face.
"I love you too, 'Mione, very much. But you have to understand..." I glance at Draco, and all is clear in her eyes, she understands.
"Oh, Harry! I..I see..."
"Thanks, 'Mione."
"I love you, Harry, always have and always will."
"I know Hermione, I love you too."
She hugs me and I breathe her in, the scent of ink and peppermint envelopes me. She so beautiful, but I see her in a friendly kind of way. Now Draco, who smells of ginger and lemongrass and fire and life, is standing down the hall. I quickly make my move before I loose the nerve.
"Harry...?" This is all Draco manages to mutter before I close my mouth over his. He is pinned up against the wall, in a very busy corridor. His first reaction, of course, is to try and resist, but it as if I can almost feel the puzzle pieces falling into place in his mind, and he understands what he just saw...he understands...
"Harry, oh Harry! You did...but you said never...oh my god..." Draco managed to say in between the very public of display of affection that had actually gathered a crowd around it.
"Draco, I love you."
"I love you, too."
Everything now has new meaning; no longer is any of it meaningless. The kiss feels as if its charged in electricity, it vibrates through my body. We decide to break it up before a faculty member does, but he and I are both in a state of bliss as we walk down to the Great Hall for dinner. Although he and I will sit at our respectable tables, and for that time we will have to admire each other from afar, later on, for the first time, we will be able to see each other up close, and upfront.