Author's Notice: Remus/Lily. 1:11 AM. Crazy. (Oh, and please don't let the dialogue confuse you...don't review being all like 'I couldn't tell who was saying what' haha...) Anyway, yeah, read. Enjoy. Lots of sarcasm in this fic. Sorry in advance for all crazy mess ups/grammar mistakes/spelling, yeah! Oh and read it carefully, lots of repetition (whether you pick up on it or not is a whole other question) ;) IS SO ANNOYING SOMETIMES I AM HAVING THE HARDEST TIME UPLOADING.
Song: Slowdance on the inside (from the CD Where You Want To Be)--Taking Back Sunday
Well cross my heart and hope to
I'm lying just to keep you here (I'll keep you here, I'll keep you here)
One of us never did it but we're taking it all.
And tell me why you never promised that you wanted it all.
And her eyes never batted when she said it
It's a long night, open, know it...
This glass house is burning down (open all night, know it...)
You light the match, I'll stick around (open all night, know it...)
I'll give you everything you want (open all night, know it...)
And wish the worst of what I was (open all night, know it...)
This glass house is burning down (open all night, know it...)
You light the match, I'll stick around (open all night, know it...)
I'll give you everything you want (open all night, know it...)
And wish the worst of what I was (open all night, know it...)
Tonight won't make a difference
Tonight won't make a difference
Tonight won't make a difference
Well tonight won't make a difference
Well tonight won't make a difference
Tonight won't make a difference
Tonight won't make a difference
Well tonight won't make a difference
...
"The point is not if you love me or not, Remus. The point is if you'll love me forever...and ever...of course you bloody love me, how could you not? But do you think you can love me for forever...and all the forevers after that."
"How can someone answer that, Lily? The idea is absurd."
"You answer it by being real quiet-like. And you think for a second, but just a second, not overthinking. And you listen to your heart. It talks."
"I don't know what it says anymore..."
"Remus, that idea is absurd. Perhaps you just got used to ignoring it. Listen. Be quiet."
"It's not talking."
"Stop shrugging your shoulders and trying to be so blaise and cool! Love doesn't matter if it's not forever, Remus. It has to be forever for it to count."
"But I love you now, Lily. And that is enough."
"It is never enough. I must know that my heart is safe, that we are safe."
"Your heart is safe...for now, how can one promise forever?"
"Easy. Like this. Remus, I'll love you forever. Because I will."
"You're overconfident, too young to say such things."
"Don't you dare tell me what I'm too young to say."
"And why not?"
"Because you don't know. Just because you're sixteen and I'm fifteen...oh whatever, shove it."
"So impolite, Evans."
"Yeah, well, get over it."
"Feisty, aren't we?"
"Indeed. Stupid, are you?"
"Just observant."
"That's what they call stupid now? Pity no one informed me earlier. Look at me when I'm talking, Remus. It's important for you to know that me and James...we're Lily and James, aren't we? That's it. That's all. Nothing more."
"You say that now! Because you're fifteen. Because you can't make decisions."
"Oh yes, Mister-I-know-fate-and-everything-else-that'll-ever-happen, you do NOT."
"If I did, how would you know?"
"I'd just know."
"Just know, eh?"
"Yes."
"You're so 'observant', Lily, that's why."
"Oh yes, Remus, that is exactly why."
"Poor James, you're horrid."
"You got me thinking about love, Remus."
"Did I?"
"Everything gets me thinkin' about love. Especially cake. Like wedding cake, you know. And fairytales..."
"You still read those?"
"Don't all women?"
"So now you're a woman? Yesterday you were a girl and now you're a woman?"
"I don't know, Remus."
"Things would be different without James, wouldn't they?"
"Oh, I don't know, suppose. I don't know what you see in me and James, Remus. He's a boy. He plays quidditch and I bet he's never even kissed a girl."
"You've kissed a boy?"
"Yes, Remus, of course."
"How many?"
"A lady never tells."
"Everyone knows, Lily...about you and James. You just know."
"I don't."
"You're looking too hard."
"Ridiculous."
"No."
"Kiss anyone, Lupin?"
"Just you."
"That was on the cheek, because you were sweet. Second year. You know, back when you were all sweet and lovely. Now you're mean."
"The pout is not going to work."
"Wanna bet?"
"Love is overrated."
"Oh, no, Remus...no. You can't go along thinking that. You're sixteen, you've got a whole life ahead of you. You've got...me. And I believe in love."
"Do you?"
"Very much so. I wouldn't say it if I didn't believe it."
"How can you? After all the death? The destruction? The heartbreak?"
"That's when you get all persistent-like, you go outside when it's raining and you scream: "I WILL NOT LET YOU WIN!" and you keep loving. That's all that works."
"Tried it?"
"I try out all my theories, so I know they're right, Lupin."
"Bright, are you?"
"I'd like to think so."
"You are. You're very smart, Lily."
"Smarter than you've given me credit for, I'm sure."
"Oh, I don't know. I give you a lot of credit."
"For what?"
"For being my friend. For beliving."
"Oh, that's not very much."
"It is. To me."
"Don't get all sappy, Remus. You'll make me cry."
"Lily Evans doesn't cry."
"...not in front of you, at least."
"No, not in front of me."
"Which is good. Can't stand crying in front of people. I hate it. James made me so angry one day I did it, I just started crying and he got so scared, and then I cried some more. He tried to be all comforting-like, you know, all 'it's between me and you, Lily' oh please."
"You don't trust James?"
"On principle, I don't."
"But do you trust him?"
"I have my moments."
"How is Lucius?"
"Why would you care, Lupin?"
"I'm sorry I even asked."
"He's fine, thank you for asking. We're just friends, you know. Don't get jealous."
"I'm not jealous, Evans."
"All boys say they aren't but boys are such jealous creatures..."
"You're horrid."
"I'm worth it."
"I know you are, Lily."
"Was that a compliment from Remus? Oh God. And I didn't even have to fish too hard for it."
"Oh, be quiet."
"I'll do no such thing."
"It's getting dark."
"Scared of the dark, Lupin?"
"It's probably dinner time."
"Probably."
"Pork, tonight. And potatoes."
"I don't care much for pork, potatoes are good. I only go to dinner 'cause Sirius always fixes a little something in the Marauders' glasses, and in mine as well. Alcohol. In pumpkin juice. I'm shocked no one's figured out."
"Sirius doesn't put anything in my drink."
"You didn't know?"
"It's not funny."
"Is too! You always looked a bit woozy after supper."
"Let's head up there. After this conversation with you I'm sure I could use a little something."
"Really? So could I."
"Funny."
"I'm going to give you a kiss on the cheek, is that alright? I'm sorry, but I hold no mystery, I had to tell you first or I'd probably miss and kiss your ear and what a horrid embarassment that'd all be."
"Thanks."
"It's nothing."
"It is. To me."
"If you say so, Remus. Quit walking so fast."
"I'm not walking fast. Plus, we'll miss dinner if we don't hurry."
"Dinner is such an ugly word. Why don't you call it 'supper'? Supper is much better. Mother always called it supper."
"Dinner's a fine word."
"Quit walking so fast."
"Keep up."
"Fine, I'll skip. Will that make you happy, Lupin?"
"As long as I don't have to drag you along."
"You'll drag me? I'm much too tired to skip...or walk."
"I will not drag you."
"Fine, fine. Look my shoes are all dirty, you're going the muddiest route back."
"You could always make your own path, Evans."
"Too much work."
"Silly."
"Not really. Ah. And here we are on Hogwarts' steps. So beautiful and lovely...engaging..."
"And boring. Here, Lily, you'll trip on this step if you don't look where you're going."
"But your feet do the walking, they lead. My eyes don't watch my feet, my feet have the job covered. They just know. Just like you know when you're in love. Your heart leads, and you follow. That's what I do...I follow..."
"You're growing on me, Evans."
"Am I?"
"Yup."
"Well, I think that's quite a compliment, you know. Let's go get some supper."
"I'm up for it. Wait up, Lily."
"Yeah?"
"What're you planning on doing ninety three years from now?"
"Ninety three years from now? Being married to you, having my grown-up children over for supper on Sunday, living in a quaint cottage by the woods, loving you..."
"Just checking."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Such a beautiful wedding, Lily."
"Isn't it?"
"Yeah. Nice ring. Better than I could've ever afforded."
"Don't say that. We would've lived off dreams and memories. Off of love."
"So why'd you do it?"
"Do what?"
"Marry James?"
"You just know, Remus, don't you? Just like you always told me."
"You grew up."
"Oh, not really. I wouldn't do that for any boy."
"Maybe you did it and you never knew it."
"I don't look any different. Same old curly redhair, except I had it straightened for today. Same old legs, look at how pale they are, same eyes. At nineteen I'm every bit Lily Evans..."
"Potter."
"I forgot. Lily Potter."
"I can't call you 'Evans' anymore, can I?"
"Whatever fits, Remus."
"You're a lucky girl."
"Why?"
"Because I'll spend the rest of my life looking for someone like you."
"Can I say I'm sorry?"
"It's never too late...but it'll never work."
"May I try, Remus? I'm sorry."
"For what? It's not your fault."
"I don't know. Just sorry."
"Your husband is coming."
"Oh. Oh. Alright, thank you for coming, Remus. How lovely of you."
"Wouldn't miss it for the world."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah...and Lily?"
"Yes?"
"I know now. I'll love you forever...and all the forevers after that..."
"Don't make me cry, Remus. Not on my wedding day. Don't you dare."
"Lily Evans doesn't cry."
"Sometimes she does."
"This is one of these awkward situations, eh? James is waiting. Don't make him angry."
"Bye, Remus."
"Bye...Evans."
She began walking away, wearing a white wedding dress, her hair in an elegant knot at the top of her head, tears streaming from her green eyes, a bouquet of roses in her hand. And then she turned around, one last time. He was standing on the grass, a single tear from his eye, she'd never seen him look so miserable. She stepped out of her heels and her barefeet ran back to him, her heart following. As soon as she got to him she flung her arms around him, as though she hadn't spoken to him in ten years.
"I'm going to give you a kiss on the cheek, is that alright? I'm sorry, but I hold no mystery, I had to tell you first or I'd probably miss and kiss your ear and what a horrid embarassment that'd all be," she whispered.
"Thanks."
"It doesn't mean anything," she said quickly, looking up at him, "I just couldn't help it."
"It does. To me," he said.
End.