The first (and hopefully not the last) part of my "What's with…?" series. The first object of my insanity is…Trowa! Why Trowa-kun and not Duo-chan? Even though I love Duo with all my heart, I figured that Trowa will be more fun to pick at.

Warning: Extreme OOC-ness and light shonen-ai, more toward the end of the fic.

Trowa: …………!

Jaden: throws Trowa translator against the wall Oh dear it's broken.

Duo: O_o

Quatre: I can translate! Trowa said…

Jaden: Quatre! Look! Someone is holding some dogs captive! Save them!

Quatre 0_0 Where!? I must save them! Aiyaaaaaa!

Duo: How did I find this child?

Trowa: -_-;; ……

Jaden: But before the insanity begins we must have the disclaimer! I don't own Gundam Wing with the exception of Duo, Trowa, and Quatre!

Lawyer: You don't own a single thing.

Jaden: mumbles incoherently Okay I don't own anything, but this is my fic so I can do this! takes out 'Super Mallet Masher 2001: Verson 2.0' and bashes the lawyer

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What's with Trowa?

Part 1

By Jaden "Flare-Girl" Maxwell

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One peaceful simulated mid-morning in the L4 colony cluster, Heero, Duo, Quatre, and Wufei sat in one of the many dining rooms of Quatre's mansion. They were doing normal things, hacking into top secret files, playing Pokemon, drinking two hundred dollar gourmet tea, and coming up with new injustices, you know, the normal stuff. Until a deafening scream was heard.

Duo dropped his gameboy in surprise, "What the hell was that?"

Heero smirked, "Hn."

"Sounded like Trowa…I'll go see what's wrong." Quatre said with a concerned look in his eyes.

"Trowa can speak? He can scream?" Duo raised his eyebrows, "Never knew."

Quatre turned down the hall, but before he could take two steps, Trowa came rushing toward him out of no where, and the eccentric seventeen-year-old pushed Quatre back into the dining room. Trowa looked erratic, his hair was so un-Trowa-like, his bang was gone, and the untamed hair hung loosely.

"Okay! Who took it!" Trowa yelled.

Wufei opened his eyes, "Took what Barton? You're interrupting my pre-meditation for Nataku's worship!"

"Wufei forget that damn hunk of metal for once! And think about me! My hair gel is gone!"

There was a massive sweatdrop from Quatre and Duo, Wufei used his death glare (patent pending), and Heero continued to ignore the world.

Trowa began to hyperventilate, "Who took it? Who took it? Who tooooook iiitttt!" Then he started to cry.

Quatre put his hand on Trowa's shoulder, "Don't cry Trowa, we'll find it."

"No we won't, because I know who took it! Maxwell! Only you would do something like this!"

"Die Pikachu! Die! Muwahahaha!" Duo cackled, "Oh, you'd think so, but I didn't take that gunk."

"Yes you did! Now give it back!" Trowa yelled as he pointed his finger between Duo's eyes.

"I told you that I didn't! Now leave me alone, I'm about to beat the game!"

Trowa pulled Duo's braid, tightly, "Admit…admit now." He whispered evilly.

"Hey stop! That hurts!"

"Wufei come over here and make use of that katana."

Wufei smiled demonically, "My pleasure."

"Noooooooooooo! No! No! Not the hair! Stop! Stop! Please!"

Wufei held the katana in the air, Duo whimpered, Trowa cackled, Quatre speechlessly watched in fear, but Heero stood up.

"Stop it. I took the gel." He said.

Trowa's right eye started twitching, "Y-y-you wha-what?" He dropped Duo's braid and pulls Heero's gun out of hammerspace, "Omae o korosu Heero!"

"That's my gun! And my line!" Heero yelled.

"I could care less! Come close to me and I'll shoot you! Or better yet, I'll shoot your laptop! After all I've done for you, I took care of you after you blew up Wing and almost killed yourself!"

By this time Trowa had backed into a corner, slid to the ground, and started rocking back and forth.

"sniffle An-and I-I sob gave you m-my Heavyarms when you sob needed to fight Zechs! starts wailing"

"Weak onna…." Wufei muttered.

"You were in on it too Wufei!" Heero yelled.

Trowa stood up and stopped crying, "I don't have any sympathy for you!" Then he cocked the gun.

"Trowa! Enough of this! You can't shoot Wufei!" Quatre flared.

"Sure I can, watch me." Trowa pointed the gun at Wufei.

"I'll make you a deal, Trowa." Quatre said, "Since this is an emergency if you don't shoot Wufei, I'll take you to get your hair done professionally."

"Okay!" Trowa grabbed Quatre's hand. "Let's go!"

"Hold on Trowa! Is anyone coming with us?" Quatre asked.

No reply.

"Die Pikachu! Die!"

"Injustice…weak…"

Seconds later…

"Trowa stop…pant…we're here pant" Quatre panted.

"Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Come on! Let's go in!" Trowa exclaimed.

Inside...

Quatre ran up to the desk and rang the bell repeatedly, "Shaina!"

Shaina, the stylist, woke up, "Thank you for testing the be-…Quatre!" She leaned over the desk to kiss him (on the cheek), "What can I do for you today?" Then she sipped her coffee.

Quatre pointed to Trowa's hair.

Shaina sputtered the coffee onto the counter, "Mother of God! Trowa! Get…in…that…chair…now!"

Shaina pushed Trowa into a styling chair and about ten stylists swooped in on him like vultures, combing, cutting, gelling, and spaying his hair back into place. Shaina pushed Quatre away from the operation.

"I need seven hundred cc's of industrial strength gel! Stat!" A stylist yelled.

"Clear!" Another followed as she shocked Trowa's hair.

Shaina held Quatre back, "No Quatre-chan, you have to stay in the waiting room, this is a dangerous operation."

"I've been through worse, please let me stay." Quatre pleaded.

"No. Do you actually think I'll let you stay in this danger zone?"

"No you wouldn't. I'll wait."

Quatre sat in the waiting room for what seemed like hours, worrying his little blonde tresses off. In this time he learned to smoke like a pro, and (again) found it to be the most displeasing thing on Earth (or in space at least.) After a little while the door opened and a stylist stepped in.

"Heeelllooo! Congratulations Sir! It's a bang!"

Quatre stood up, "Really? Trowa's okay!"

"Mmmmhmmm." She replied, "But wait, you have to do this first, hold out your hand."

"Um…okay."

The stylist placed an imaginary banana in Quarte's hand, "Here! Now go feed the spaaaacceee moooonnnkkkkkkeeeesss! Before the mothership comes back!"

Quatre stared at the demented little woman, but just pushed her out of the way, too worried about Trowa to help her.

When blond-boy entered, he was sure the whole place had gone nuts, the stylists were doing a cheer with mousse cans, and Trowa was dancing around in circles.

"Quatre!" Trowa trilled, "Darling! Isn't it wonderful!"

Quatre shielded his eyes, "Wow Trowa, your hair is so shiny, bright…and stiff. Whoa, that's not coming out for a few days."

"Hehe! I know!" Trowa handed a large sack to Quatre, "Here! This is all the gel, and hair spray I'll need for a month!"

Quatre struggled with the sack, "Ow…Trowa, let's go home. I think you need some rest, and lots of it."

"Kay Cat!" Trowa giggled.

"Cat?" Quatre asked.

"Meow." Trowa replied.

On the way to the Winner mansion…

"I've got a lovely buncha coconuts! Dedleledee! There they are a standing in a row! Bum, bum, bum! Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head!" Trowa sang as he and Quatre walked through one of the empty simulated nature parks of L4.

As Trowa continued singing, Quatre secretly wished that he had brought the car, thirty bottles and cans of hair spray and gel aren't that light. He continued to walk until Trowa stopped.

"What's wrong Tr-"

"Shhhh!"

"But…"

"Be quiet Quatre!"

"Huh?"

"You're going to scare them away!"

"Who?"

"The eye shadow!"

"Eye shadow?"

"Oh great, they're gone. You scared away the midnight blue shadow! I like that color! It's not fair!"

Quatre stared at his friend, the usual quiet, stoic, normal, Trowa was gone. Long gone…and no where to be found.

"Gee, I'm tired of walking," Trowa said, he pulled a remote out of hammerspace, "Let's go."

Then he pushed a button and the two boys disappeared.

Ten seconds later…

"How'd you do that?" Quatre gasped as they appeared in one of the many lounge rooms in his house.

Trowa threw the remote back into hammerspace, "Don't know. I'm sleepy…night, night."

Then he fell on the sofa, fast asleep.

"Trowa?" Quatre asked.

No response.

"Okay, he's asleep. Now I can go back to the salon and get some answers. This time I'll take the car."

Click. That was the sound of the door as Quatre left the room, thinking that Trowa was going to stay put until he came back.

But Trowa had other ideas…

"Oh Wufei…Heero…"

End of Part 1

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So how'd ya like it? Extreme insanity, right? Please review or send all comments to: [email protected]