A.N.: I started writing this at one in the friggin' morning when I was manically depressed in a really bad way...but it ends completely different from how I began, so I'm not sure what to think of this one. It's a one-shot, Tart/Pudding as usual because the pairing is adorable, timed a little bit before the Deep Blue incident. I'm assuming that their relationship has progressed significantly further, and anyway, it's my semi-fluffy little one-shot, so take your flames and use them for something constructive, like roasting marshmallows and hotdogs or torching Gamestop stores.

Disclaimer: There is no disclaimer. If you want to sue me, bring it on. (Oh, yeah, the swear word 'zark' belongs to Douglas Adams, who is one of the few people I hold respect for.)

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Distractions

By: Papi-chan

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There was a voice prevalent in his head; not unpleasant in the least, actually somewhat musical, like the pealing of a bell.

But it caused his heart to hurt, and he had to wonder whether happiness and pain went hand-in-hand. It seemed improbable, an oxymoron in itself...but the voice, and the memories it brought to the surface, simultaneously made him smile, and grow warm, as if his soul were illuminated by a light from within...while he felt cold, his heart threatening to shatter into myriads of crystalline fragments.

It was so complicated, and yet so simple, his tumultuous emotions could be explained with three simple words, chalked up to one seemingly useless emotion.

"We're buddies, right?" A brilliant smile that never seemed to fade.

"You're so nice! I knew you didn't hate me!" Eyes that shone like sunbeams, gleaming with bright innocence.

"I don't want to fight you."

"I think you're really cool! Even if you are evil!" He had to suppress the urge to chuckle at the severity with the comment had been made. It was her nature, to say the most outlandish, ridiculous things straight out of a corny movie script as if they were the absolute truth. And she was usually right, which made him consider exactly how the universe they were dwelling in worked.

"I like you, you're sweet!" Self-delusion.

"I.."

"You..."

"We..." There is no we. Although the thought of their names used in the same sentence had the same effect as hearing her voice her thoughts on their relationship. Which had progressed in the last few weeks, against his will.

"Get out of my head," Tart muttered, banging his forehead against the glass windshield on the ship's deck; as expected, it did absolutely nothing for his headache, but it DID temporarily take his mind off the reason behind the migraine. Funny, he'd never gotten those before he, Kish, and Pie had begun their skewered quest for Earth.

Or before he'd met her.

"Darnit!!" Tart cried as his mind shifted back to the subject plaguing it; that happened all too easily as of late. "Why am I thinking about you, you idiot? I can't stand your existence!!"

Which was a lie, and he knew it. But he needed it to be true. Kish might have slipped up and allowed his emotions to intertwine so tightly around those of a mere human girl, but Tart wasn't going to allow himself to go down the same road. Which is why he spent so much time attempting to force himself to believe that he absolutely hated Pudding. She was human, his enemy, one of the people he'd eventually have to destroy; her existence threatened his resolve to accomplish the mission he was there for in the first place. Even if he did feel anything towards her at all, it would only lead to more pain as he knew that things would come to a head between themselves and the Mew Mews really soon. Almost all of the Mew Aqua remaining on Earth had been discovered by the girls, Deep Blue was supposedly (according to Kish) close to awakening...

...and then all the humans would die. Or be killed. Including Pudding.

And Tart didn't want that, because although he'd never be able to say it out loud, even to himself...he liked Pudding a lot. She was everything he himself could never achieve, a ray of sunshine in the lives of the people she was around. The aura of chaos and discord that surrounded the little girl was both frustrating and exciting at the same time -- the word boring was non-existent when Pudding was around.

And her beautiful smile that playing upon her lips, even in battle...how could he hate her? She was so amazingly infuriating that it made it IMPOSSIBLE to hate her. Not that telling her that he 'strongly disliked' her was any good; it was as if Pudding could look through him like a sheet of glass, she knew that he was attempting to deceive them both.

Considering how often she was entering his thoughts, Tart was beginning to believe that 'like' was not the correct word for how he felt about the golden-haired bane of his existence.

But that couldn't happen. They couldn't be together. He couldn't be in love with the very person he had to eventually destroy.

And there was no way of getting around it.

Tart leaned back to give himself another whack against the windshield, hoping to knock some sense into his obviously lacking brain.

"So now we're into holding conversations with ourselves and self-torture, are we?"

Tart shrieked in spite of himself, then whirled around to glare at Pie, who had mysteriously materialized alongside him.

"Do you enjoy nearly scaring me to death?"

Pie smirked, an unusual expression for someone as stoic as he usually was. "We've both warned you about your caffeine intake, haven't we?"

Tart rolled his eyes. "There's no caffeine in chocolate, dummy."

"Do you read the labels on that stuff? It's loaded with things that are going to result in you dying an early death."

"Did you come here to lecture me on the value of reading the really small labels on candy bars, " Tart asked snidely, "or do you have a real reason for being here?"

Pie shrugged, a gesture meant to say, "it's my ship, I can do whatever the heck I want on it" that both Tart and Kish had decided had become clichéd...given that it was Pie's only explanation for just appearing wherever the mood took him. Sometimes Tart really hated both telepathy and teleportation; one couldn't have any privacy at all under such circumstances. "Why are you intent on denting the window with your head?"

"For no reason." Tart replied airily, as if he could care less. "Because it's something to do."

"That's a stupid reason to do anything." Pie commented, folding his arms. "It seems to me you were ruminating over something."

"Ruminating?"

Pie shook his head. "It means thinking about something really hard."

"Oh." Tart turned back to the window, staring out into the depths of space. "I wasn't."

"Oh, really? You've been seemingly quite distracted lately."

"Distracted?" Tart's voice was a monotone. "Have I?"

Pie was somewhat disturbed at his younger cohort's strange behavior. Tart was normally the most confident of them all, childishly rash at times, but he made up for it in maturity...although Pie had to admit, he did resemble some of the human brats he'd seen when in a whiny, petulant, complaining mood. But this silence (and seriousness) was unlike him.

"What's wrong with you?" Pie inquired, attempting to soften his voice slightly. He wasn't used to having such personal conversations with either of his friends.

"What's wrong with me?" Tart repeated, as if turning the question over in his mind. "I don't know. Stupidity, I think."

"If there's anything at all that you are, Tart, stupid is not it." Tart didn't feel capable of beaming at the compliment.

"Then what do you call someone who lets themselves be distracted over and over again?" Tart shot back.

Pie was silent for a moment. "I don't think stupid is the correct word. Misguided, maybe." He looked curiously at Tart, who'd resumed lightly banging his forehead against the windshield. "What is it that's proving to be a distraction to you?"

Tart chuckled darkly, pausing to press his head against the glass with his eyes closed. "Stuff. Things."

"That's nonconclusive." Pie muttered. "What kind of...things?"

Tart resisted the urge to scream, 'None of your zarking business'...but Pie'd warned him about profanity. Not that he didn't use a variety of colorful words under his breath, as well as a few human terms he'd picked up. Instead, he changed the subject. "If we're superior to humans, Pie, why don't we have more control over our hearts?"

"Our hearts?"

"Yeah, why can't we control how we feel about things any better than they can?"

Pie levitated himself to hover beside Tart, arms crossed. "True, we're superior to humans in that we have to ability to reason more logically than they are capable of, as well as increased intelligence.." Pie trailed off, smiling to himself. "But our hearts don't function any differently than theirs do. And that's one thing I don't understand."

Tart's face fell. "But if we're so much more logical about things, why can't we control our hearts when they're telling us to do illogical things?"

"Because you can't control your heart, Tart," Pie replied. "It does what it wants to. Our technology is a hundred times more advanced than theirs, and even WE don't understand how a heart works. Some things are just like that."

"That's not FAIR!" Tart shouted, feeling pouty. Pie was supposed to have all the answers to the things Kish was too stupid or out of it to understand, and here even Pie was telling him that he had absolutely no idea how to solve his current problem.

Pie snorted. "Since when is anything in life fair, Tart?"

Tart couldn't answer that one, but he decided to give it a shot. "Since I decided it should be!"

"You really are such a kid sometimes," Pie commented, with one of his rare grins. Tart was too busy contemplating how much he hated the entire the system of the universe for not working in a consistent manner to reply. Or maybe it just didn't like him.

Pie leaned against the wall, regarding Tart coolly. "You can either sit there being angry at everybody and everything and, once again, shortening your lifespan.." Tart shot him a glare that plainly said, 'lay off the subject of how long I'm going to live', which Pie ignored, continuing, "...or you can do something about the situation."

"Like WHAT?" Tart hissed, aggravated. "You just sat there-"

"Hovered, actually."

"Whatever. You just said that we can't control our hearts or how we feel about things. So what do I do, Mr.Zarking-Know-It-All? What do I do?"

Pie rapped the younger alien on the head sharply. "What did I tell you about using that kind of language?"

"I'll say it if I feel like it!!" Tart shouted excitedly; his bad humor was swiftly descending into a desire to pick a fight with anyone available.

Pie was prepared for a comeback. "What was it that Kish called you the other day? Midget?"

Tart was glad Pie had not yet picked up on human vulgarities. He proceeded to use every one of his new words on the older alien, splicing a few of them together, then sighed, exhausted. He wasn't sure what they all meant, but the expression of pure bafflement on Pie's face was well worth the effort.

"Right.." Pie had learned from dealing with Kish and Tart over the years that sometimes it was better to just let it go. "Anyway, like I was saying...you can't control your heart, but you can control how much power it holds over you."

"How?" Tart asked, sounding sad and tired.

"Decide which is more important to you, the distraction or what it's distracting you from. Even if hurts." Pie said matter-of-factly.

Tart looked up at him, slowly. "What if I can't?"

"Then you'll have to deal with it. You either stop being distracted or you deal with the consequences."

"Oh." Tart turned away, and when he spoke again Pie could have sworn his voice was wavering with unshed tears. "I'm going to bed now, okay?" He teleported without waiting for an answer, leaving Pie alone on the deck.

It seemed like the world around them was falling apart, and Pie wondered whether any of them, Kish, Tart, any of the Mew Mews, or even himself would be able to deal with it when it finally crumbled.

He also wondered whether Tart would find the strength to fight whatever demons were ravaging him.

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Tart was not going to bed.

Rather, he teleported to a place on Earth he'd started frequenting: the wide rooftop of what had once been a Buddhist shrine, now transformed into a leaky but still quite inhabitable place of residence for a family of six.

The family residing in it seemed pretty happy, especially the mother figure, so Tart guessed it wasn't as bad as he thought.

The ancient, weather-beaten wooden tiles of the roof, covered with chipping red paint, were not the most comfortable surface to rest on, fortunately, actually sitting on it wasn't an option Tart had to consider. Instead he hovered a few centimeters above it, not wishing to wake the people probably fast asleep in it. It was around 2 in the morning.

Tart looked out at the expanse of dark purplish clouds forming a thick blanket over Tokyo; he could sense the moisture in the air, as if the world around him was waiting with bated breath for the coming storm. Rain didn't bother him; in fact, he found it to be one of the most beautiful sights on the planet; innumerable crystal teardrops slipping from a weeping sky.

But the rain was the furthest thing from his mind, as he considered the conversation between himself and Pie. Pie's having noticed his state of mind meant that he must have been making blunders in their increasing attacks on the Mew Mews; he hadn't expected that his physical state would be affected, however, he'd known his heart wasn't really in it. Especially fighting her. At one point it had been fun -- now raising a hand to Pudding was simply his job, something he had to do. He didn't know if he had the heart to actually attempt to harm her himself.

Which meant that Pudding herself was the distraction.

She was keeping him from properly doing his job, which was to help eradicate the human race so that his own race could inhabit their planet. And that included her.

And so it all came down to Pie's solution.

Which one was more important to him? A stupid monkey girl...or his entire race, which couldn't last long on their planet? The girl he was becoming increasingly sure he was in love with...or the people who were depending on him for their lives?

Tart hung his head, tears stinging his eyes. He didn't want to decide between the two. He didn't want to lose either one; in his life few things were exceedingly important, and it didn't seem fair that the two at the top of list were simultaneously in jeopardy.

But Pudding's continued existence also threatened his own.

Them and me....or her.

The sharp, bitter taste of blood seeped out onto his tongue, and Tart realized he'd been chewing on his lip hard enough to break the skin. He lifted a hand to wipe the blood from his mouth, mentally cursing himself for being so caught up in his thoughts...and paused to stare at the smear of crimson on his palm.

Something about blood.

He was bound to his race by blood. They were at the top of the list. They had to be. Even if it hurt his heart, shredded it to have to do what he knew had to be done, he knew he could never place himself and his feelings above their well-being.

Tart had made his decision. The distraction would have to go, as soon as possible, so that he could go back to himself. Even if it hurt, and he knew it would.

A soft creaking noise caught his attention, as the front door to the house slowly opened...and the distraction stepped out onto the lawn, looking out into the night quietly.

Tart held his breath. What the heck was she doing awake at 2 in the morning? He wondered if she was sleepwalking, although he'd never witnessed Pudding do such a thing during his other silent vigils on her roof. He wondered what she'd have to say if she knew about his spending time on her roof in the middle of the night. Tart stifled a giggle, laced with bitterness, as he imagined just how angry Pudding would be. Or maybe she wouldn't, it took a lot to make her mad. She'd probably go off into a spiel about her fan following, as delusional as always. Gods, he was going to miss her chattering. He'd often wished she'd shut up, now there was nothing more he wanted than to hear her going off on one of her random tangents, or using that absolutely ridiculous nickname she'd formulated for him.

Pudding apparently wasn't sleepwalking, as she seemed awfully alert, shuffling through the grass and staring up at the sky. Now that he knew what had to be done, there was no need in denying anything anymore. It had all suddenly stopped mattering. Tart crept closer to the edge of the roof, watching as Pudding sat down on the lawn, her eyes still fixed on the cloudy skies. She really was pretty, for a human, and her hair did remind him of the sun.

So did her smile.

Tart felt his eyes well up with tears, repeating the phrase 'It has to be this way' over and over again inwardly as if it were a mantra. He didn't want to do it, what he was going to do now...but she was affecting him entirely too much. He couldn't allow her to distract him any longer, even if that meant removing her from the picture. At least he'd give her a chance to defend herself, and even if she bested him, which was highly unlikely...at least he wouldn't have to live with the fact that he'd taken her away from everyone who loved her.

He'd always joked about taking her out, because it had become a joke from the first time they met, when he'd threatened to do her in and she'd simply smiled at him as if it were a joke, although he'd been dead serious. And after that it was a given that any death threats were laid out there for the novelty, or simply so Tart would have SOMETHING to say, because he knew he'd have had a pretty hard time actually doing anything to her seeing as she treated it all like a game. Pudding was crazy, in that manner.

And maybe it was the fact that she was teetering dangerously on the edge that made her so intriguing.

Tart wondered what the next day would be like.

And then he disappeared again.

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Pudding picked at the blades of grass idly, hoping no intrusive bugs were exploring the folds of her pyjamas. Her siblings and Nin were all fast asleep, as they should have been, but she couldn't sleep, for some reason.

She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep after wandering outside for a breath of fresh air and seeing how swollen the sky looked. There would probably be a storm, the thought of which scared her. Pudding hated thunder and lightning, and it was even worse that her sisters and brothers did too, meaning that she spent her time comforting them and wishing there was someone to comfort her. She hoped it would simply bring rain, nothing more.

"Rain, rain, go away..." Pudding sang softly to herself, although the rain didn't bother her that much. It was scary...but lots of things in her life was scary.

Like the fact that she and her friends were getting closer to something that absolutely frightened her, although she didn't know what exactly it was that was so unnerving. The Kirema animas were getting stronger, and they had yet to locate all the Mew Aqua sources, with no such luck as of late.

Pudding found herself living a day at a time, not knowing what the next day would bring. As young as she was, the thought that one day they might not triumph, and she might not come home had occurred to her. It was a painful thought, because who would take care of her siblings without her, and who would help protect Tokyo from rampaging tanukis? But Pudding had decided long before any of it started that whatever tomorrow brought her way, she couldn't afford to consider it too closely.

Back in China, as a child her mother had explained to her the concept of Fate. Everything in life was preplanned, and mere humans like themselves had little chance of changing their fates for the better. All one could do was take whatever life dished out and just go along with it, whichever direction it took you.

She felt somewhat sure that her time wasn't that close, but who could know? And who had time to worry about such a depressing subject, when there were paparazzi hiding in the bushes waiting for a glimpse of her so they could fire away with their cameras, and obsessed fans creeping across the grass hoping to steal a strand of her hair?

Pudding had to admit that her magazine debut earlier on in their adventure had blown her mind a bit. She wasn't that famous.

But it was fun to dream.

"It's going to rain soon." Pudding turned, surprised and somewhat apprehensive at hearing another voice on her lawn in the middle of the night. Tokyo wasn't 100% crime-free, not by a long shot.

"I've got an Uzi and I'm not afraid to use it!!" She cried dramatically, then noticed that it was only Tart, standing a few feet away from where she sat.

"Do you now." Tart's voice was strangely muted. Pudding didn't notice, her face lighting up. "Tart? Why are you at my house at 2 in the morning? Don't you guys sleep too? And how do you even know where my house IS? You've been stalking me, haven't you?"

Tart rolled his eyes at her barrage of seemingly pointless questions, but it was true that he'd have asked the same things had he found her standing on the bridge of their ship at any point and time. Pudding continued, now on a roll. "You must be working with the press, aren't you? I KNEW IT! You can't trust anyone these days!"

Tart shook his head sadly, then straightened up, wiping his expression clean. He couldn't afford to show any emotion, else he'd completely lose his resolve. Pudding noticed how quiet he was being, his usual smirk gone from his face. He hadn't even made any moves to insult her. "Tart, are you okay?"

Tart looked up at her, his eyes emotionless. "Pudding...I'm not sorry."

"For what?" Pudding looked confused. "You didn't do anything to me yet. Besides that stupid frog invasion from yesterday, 'cause that really pis-"

"Shut up." Tart was very swiftly losing his cool. Why did she have to treat everything as if it were a game, or a B-rated movie, as if she were always on the stage? Why did she have to choose him to weave her spell over? "This is all your fault, you know."

"What is? I don't understand what you're talking about!"

"You don't understand ANYTHING!!" Tart cried, now completely unraveled. How could he possibly even make an attempt to kill her? "I'm not here to play with you, Pudding, and I'm not your friend! I'm your-"

"My enemy, I know," Pudding interrupted, having heard it all before. "But I already told you, I like you so it doesn't matter. As long as you don't pull another frog invasion, because I'm still-"

"Will you pay attention, monkey girl?" Tart hissed. "I can't keep thinking about you. I can't keep letting you off easy or holding off from killing you because you're too stupid to realize that I absolutely hate you. I can't keep doing this!" He was screaming now, and Pudding began to feel nervous. She'd never seen Tart like this.

"I'm giving you two options, Pudding," Tart continued, somewhat more quietly. "Either you walk away and treat me as your enemy from now on, like it should be...or..." He dropped to his knees, unable to deliver the rest of his ultimatum. It was so unfair that he (both of them) had to go through this. Maybe life really was a mesh of bad things happening to everything and everyone you held dear.

Pudding ran over to him, her tiny pigtails swaying in the quickening breeze as she knelt down beside him, placing a small hand on his shoulder. "Why can't we be both? I mean, how come we can't be friends and enemies at the same time? I don't hate you."

Tart refused to look up. "Because it doesn't work like that, monkey girl," he replied through gritted teeth. "Your enemy is the one person you can't continue to co-exist with. You can't nearly kill them one day and then invite them over to tea the next, 'cause that's just STUPID."

"Then why do we have to be enemies at all?" Pudding was beginning to sound slightly hysterical; she'd never encountered such a lose/lose situation.

"Because we're going to take your planet one way or the other, and that means you'll have to GO, dummy!! Either you'll have to kill me to save the rest of the human race, or I'll have to kill you to accomplish my mission. We can't be anything other than enemies."

"But...that's not fair! I don't want to have to choose anything!!" Pudding cried, and Tart looked over at her, noting that she finally seemed to be understanding the situation.

"Life's not fair." It delivers ultimatums bent on ripping your heart apart. It forces you to choose between things that really matter to you, between everything important. Between my reason for continuing to live...and the sunshine.

Pudding was chewing on her lip, her hair hiding her face as Tart stood up. "So either way, you have to go. I don't want to hurt you, monkey girl, so walk away and just forget that I ever showed you anything other than hatred."

"I don't..."

"You have to hate me, Pudding."

"But I don't!"

"Then make yourself. It's easy."

"No, it isn't! I've never hated anyone! It's too sad, because people only live for a short time and then they're gone! It's like fireflies, you can't hate them because they die so soon!" Pudding was crying now, and Tart felt a pang of guilt and anger at himself for having started it all in the first place. "You just remember how pretty they are and love them because they're alive. Same with roaches, and ants, and all the other nasty things, you don't HATE them and you don't have to love them, but they only live so long and then they're gone! Even if you and Kish and Pie are really mean, I can't hate you and I don't ever want to fight you ever again. I just want..." Pudding trailed off, with a tearful sigh. "I want everybody to live and just be happy."

Me, too, but that's not on the menu. Tart knew that if he continued to try to reason with her, his resolve would crumble completely and they'd be back at square one with no resolution. Cold stoicism was one of his best traits, although it was a struggle to display it as he addressed the girl on the ground beside him, his tone icy. "So you're giving everything up because you're insistent on liking me even if I already told you I can't stand you?"

Pudding rose to her feet, her downcast eyes gleaming with determination. "Yeah."

Tart forced himself to remain emotionless. "Fine, monkey girl."

Pudding shrieked as he shoved her rather roughly, sending her tumbling to the grass and skinning an elbow in the process. "Hey!"

Tart didn't answer, willing several vines to rise from the lawn surrounding her, writhing with life of their own. Pudding had enough presence of mind to leap nimbly from her position as the vines crashed down where she'd sat. "I gave you the chance to leave, didn't I?" he spat condescendingly as the vines swung around in her direction, forcing her to sprint a few feet away to avoid being ensnared. "You might want to transform, Pudding, because I'm not going easy on you this time."

"I don't want to fight you!" Pudding yelled, dodging a vine attempting to twine around her ankle.

"Then don't, 'cause it'll make everything a heck of a lot easier for me!" Tart shot back, levitating himself above the ground for a better view of the chaos he was causing. Thunder boomed from above, validating his earlier prediction.

Pudding's speed and lithe movements served her well, as the vines attacking her seemed sensitive to every move she made, seemingly bent on crushing her. "This is not cool!!" she whined, knowing good and darn well that her complaints were falling on deaf ears; maybe she was wrong, maybe Tart did hate her, although he'd never actually tried to kill her or even harm her directly before. Sure, he'd threatened...but Tart was a really bad liar, even worse than Lettuce was. However, her current dilemma made Pudding wonder whether she'd made a misstep in underestimating Tart. The thought made her heart hurt.

So did the vine that smashed into her midsection, throwing her into a nearby bush and effectively winding her.

Tart watched the scene emptily, as if the first blow he'd made against her had drained him of every emotion he had left. He winced when the vine launched her into the air, sending her flying into the shrubbery at top speed. Tart lowered himself onto the grass, halting his vines and approaching the bush Pudding had landed in. He couldn't believe it was over that quickly; he'd thought she was much stronger than that.

"Pudding Ring Inferno!!" A flash of light was emitted from the bushes, and Tart had barely enough time to duck as the brightly-colored, shining rings shot over his head, centering on his vines. The two rings surrounded the writhing mass of plant matter, the vines shaking in what could be interpreted as silent rage as they disintegrated in front of Tart's startled gaze.

He didn't have much time to gape at the sight either, because at that moment Pudding leapt from the bushes in her Mew Mew garb, slamming dead into him and bowling the alien over. "You big stupid JERK!" Pudding shrieked, her tail erect with fury behind her. Tart yelped as Pudding gave the lie to her innocent appearance by smacking him as hard as possible, seizing his shoulders and shaking him rather violently, continuing to yell at him in the manner of an extremely jilted lover. Tart might have found the situation comical had he not been on the receiving end of her blows.

At least he knew what she looked like when she was really angry about something.

"Now LOOK, you...you..." Malevolent vocabulary failed at this point, but Pudding was too pissed to worry about it. "Oh, whatever!! Now I think I've been pretty darn nice to you, Tar Tar, especially since I'm still really angry about that stupid frog invasion-"

"Oh, will you let it GO, already?" Tart snapped in annoyance. "It's not like they KILLED you or anything!"

Pudding was not impressed. "Stop interrupting me when I have something important to say, Tar Tar!!"

"Will you quit calling me that??"

"Maybe I will if you just shut up for a second!! Darn it, nobody listens to me!! And I think you're being a real IDIOT," Pudding emphasized the word, as if it were the most damaging insult she could formulate, "Because I've been as nice as possible when I could have just thrown a ring at you from the beginning-"

"I never asked you to be NICE to me! If you weren't such a crazy monkey girl you'd have realized back when we kidnapped you-"

"When you tried to kidnap me." Pudding interjected.

"Whatever happened, you should have just left me alone when I tried to kill you back then, and then none of this would have happened.."

"None of what would have happened? You wouldn't have stopped hating me?"

"Who said I stopped hating you? I've always hated you!"

"Then why have you waited almost a month to kill me?"

"Because I..." Tart trailed off, not really sure how to answer that one without saying something he didn't want to.

Pudding had stopped shaking him, her expression still one of utter annoyance. "And why did you save me before?"

"I.."

"And why are you having so much trouble killing me now?" Pudding pressed. "Is it because you really don't hate me?"

"Of course I hate you!" Tart sputtered, wondering when he'd lost control of the situation. "It's just.."

Pudding was determined not to let him get an excuse in edgewise. "If you really hated me as much as you say you do, why haven't you even TRIED to kill me? I mean, you're obviously a stalker 'cause you know where my house is for some reason, so why haven't you? Why do you want me to hate you so much?"

"I have my reasons."

"I don't think you know," Pudding replied in a strange sing-song voice, her expression dissolving into a smile. "But I know."

Tart's cheeks were beginning to redden; did she have to shout it out to the world? Had she not been preventing him from moving without hurting her he'd have strangled her for being such a noisy...well, he had to take that back. His first assassination attempt had gone downhill almost immediately. The fact that he couldn't kill a measly human wandering around in her lawn in her pyjamas was pretty disturbing. "You don't know ANYTHING!"

"I do!!" Pudding sang, her cheerful demeanor returning as she leaned down, lowering her voice to a whisper. "I don't think you really hate me, Tar Tar. I think you like me too!!"

Tart had turned completely purple at that point. "I CAN'T STAND YOU!!" he shrieked, closing his eyes in a pained grimace.

"Aw, that's so sweet, I like you too!" Pudding cried joyfully, wrapping her arms around the enraged alien. She was immensely proud of herself for her discovery. Mint might have denounced her as childish and immature, but she was anything but stupid. "Isn't this so cool? Ichigo's not the only one with a boyfriend now!!"

"ARGH!!" Tart hissed, baring his fangs as he finally managed to shove Pudding off him onto her tail. "What did I do to deserve being stuck with someone as crazy and delusional as you?"

He turned away, folding his arms and pouting. It was so wrong. Everything went wrong, it were as if Fate really had something against him for some crime he couldn't remember committing. Tart sighed, staring at the grass as the thunder overhead increased. He hadn't accomplished anything, as far as he could tell, except giving Kish something to laugh uproariously about if he ever found out what an absolute wimp Tart was. Pudding was still there, distracting him, and she'd continue to be there, not to mention she'd somehow guessed his dirty little secret and would probably lord it over him. He shook his head in frustration, knowing now that he didn't have the heart to do anything to her...after all, she was right. He did like her. And there-in lay the problem. What would happen tomorrow? And the next day? When things finally came to a head and Deep Blue awakened and he had to say good-bye, how could he?

When it came right down to it, Tart thought wearily, the entire concept of love made absolutely no sense and was, as far as he could tell, probably even stupider than he believed himself to be. And what really sucked was that he wasn't immune to it.

"Tar Tar?" Pudding's soft voice rang out from behind him, shakily. Tart didn't answer. "What are you worried about?"

Pudding rose from where she'd landed, walking over to seat herself beside the brooding alien. "There's nothing wrong with liking someone. That's what a heart is for, isn't it?"

"You're not supposed to like the person you're eventually going to have to kill," Tart muttered darkly. "Besides, you're a distraction from why I'm really here. Just like with that stupid Kish."

"But liking Ichigo makes Kish happy, right?" Pudding commented thoughtfully. "Do I make you happy?"

"You give me the worst headaches I've ever had in my life, monkey girl."

"Isn't that the same thing?"

"Not quite."

"Oh." Pudding looked confused. Tart was one of the most confusing people she'd ever met; he said things he didn't mean and was seemingly into self-denial. It was obvious that he didn't hate her, so why was he agonizing over it?

Tart gasped in surprise as Pudding turned to him, suddenly embracing him tightly...

...and planting a soft, warm kiss on his lips.

It only lasted a brief second, but even after she'd leaned back to face him with equally flushed cheeks Tart remained frozen in the moment, his brain having disconnected from his body.

Pudding seemed embarrassed, which was strange considering how forward she usually was. "You're supposed to do that when you really like someone," she explained to Tart, who probably wouldn't have moved had Kish materialized right behind him and began taunting him as loudly and raucously as possible. She ran a hand through her hair, blushing even more furiously. "Don't worry about it so much. You don't choose who you fall in love with, Fate does, and if two people are meant to be together everything'll work itself out. But that's only what Ichigo told me, and she was half asleep at the time, so I'm not sure whether it's true or not...but something made you like me and me like you, so maybe sleepy Ichigo is right. I don't know."

The little girl stood up, stretching as the first cold droplets of rain hit her face. "I have to go now," she told the still-comatose Tart, whose only movement was to look up at her with a rather amusing expression on his face. Pudding couldn't help giggling; he looked just like Ryou after Mint and Ichigo had dared Lettuce to kiss him (which she promptly fainted after doing so.) It was cute, at least she thought so. "And you should go too, so you don't catch a cold, okay?"

Tart regained usage of his limbs as Pudding slowly walked toward her house, still in her Mew Mew form. Somewhere in his mind he registered dimly that he'd just received his first kiss, but that wasn't important at the moment.

He wondered why he'd ever been so foolish as to try to change things. Pudding wasn't worried about the future, for some strange reason, and even though he couldn't completely abdicate himself to the sense of trust in the power of love and hearts and all those clichéd, corny concepts, he had to admit that she had a point.

Pie had said almost the same thing. There was no controlling one's heart, it did whatever it wanted to...and there was really no use driving himself crazy about it. He realized that he did have control over how he dealt with it all, though...and it didn't involve making any rash decisions. He was so glad his plan had failed, once again. It happened all too often, but this time he actually welcomed the failure.

It wasn't Pudding's fault he felt the way he did; it really wasn't anybody's. She was pretty, she had a big mouth, she was borderline insane...and he liked, maybe loved her for it. And that didn't mean that he had to do anything about it other than just accept the fact that he liked her and move on with it, and not make such a big deal over it all. Even if she was distracting him...Tart had decided he liked being distracted. Both Pudding and his mission were equally important to him, he knew that now, and as long as he didn't have to decide between the two, that meant he could do as she did, live one day at a time and trust and hope that if they were meant to be anything more than they were, Fate would handle it. Maybe she'd forgive him for whatever he'd done.

Perhaps being logical wasn't the way to go about things after all...especially since most of life didn't make much sense anyway.

Anyway, it was a scream seeing Pudding frustrated. He made a mental note to start picking at her more often during their spats and relying less on Kirema animas to get the job done. After all, Kish had plenty of fun messing with Ichigo. And Tart considered himself lucky, because at least HIS human didn't despise him.

Tart leaped up; the rain was pouring now and Pudding had almost reached her door; if he waited any longer the moment would be lost forever. "Pudding, wait!"

Pudding turned around, brushing her rapidly becoming sodden golden hair from her face, and Tart materialized in front of her, grinning in the same roguish way he always had while trying out his new insults on her and the other Mew Mews. "What?"

"You know I hate you, right?"

"So what else is new?"

"Right." Tart nodded affirmatively. "So this doesn't mean anything."

Before Pudding could inquire as to what he was talking about now, Tart leaned forward, wrapping his arms around her neck and pressing his lips against hers gently; Pudding felt her face redden, even as the raindrops slipped down her cheeks, soaking her clothing and her hair, and she returned the kiss, allowing her tail to wind itself around Tart's waist and pull her closer to him.

They stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity to the two of them, kissing in the rain beneath a sea of mauve clouds and swaying trees, which served as the fireworks and violins that Pudding had always heard about, although the scenery really didn't matter to her at that point. Finally Pudding broke away, feeling somewhat dizzy. Tart stepped back, swaying slightly on his feet, too embarrassed to look up at her. "So..."

"Yeah." Pudding replied, and they both burst out laughing at the utter absurdity of the conversation.

Tart rose into the air, hovering over her head. "You do know I'm planning another frog invasion tomorrow, right?"

"What??" Pudding snapped out of her glowing reverie, glaring at him.

"Yup," Tart continued, cockily. "Right here, too."

"You had better not do anything like that ever again!" Pudding shouted, all warm thoughts forgotten now. "Do you know what it's like to have to get rid of a thousand and a half slimy, icky frogs??"

"Nope. But I'm sure you do, monkey girl."

"I hate you!"

"Me, too!" Tart called happily as he teleported back to the roof of the house so he could watch the rain in peace. The sound of a door slamming told him that Pudding had gone back inside, steaming over his threats.

He'd decided that she was much prettier when she was cheesed off.

-

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Not sure how I ended up there. Or even came up with this idea in the first place. Maybe excess frustration over being stuck on Chapter 5 of Denial. Funny how it started out all depressing and ended on such a light note. (crazy bipolar Papi-chan) At any rate, all comments, concerns, constructive criticisms, death threats, marriage proposals and other such expressions of what you thought of my one in the morning one-shot will be greatly appreciated. For the people that are still reading the other one, I'll finish it soon, I promise! ::crosses her heart and nods gravely::