Title: I Dream of Mary Sue
Author name: badstarfalling
Category: Humor
Rating: G
Summary: In which Ginny runs and screams from the wrath of the impending doom of Mary Sues.
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author notes: I originally wrote this for an application as Ginny in an RPG. I liked it, so I posted it here. :D
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Ginny Weasley straightened her Prefect Badge. She was on patrol of the dungeons from two to four thirty a.m.
"Stupid Malfoy," Ginny thought sourly.
He had gone whinging to the Head Boy when he'd gotten his patrolling assignment, claiming he had Potions early in the morning.
Well, he might have it, but she had Care of Magical Creatures, and in her opinion, that was way more important to be awake during.
But, he had superiority and all that rot, so she got stuck with the horrible assignment.
Ginny smirked. Oh, he got his. He'd have to live with orange hair the whole week unless he found the counter curse, which he wouldn't because Ginny was currently borrowing the book he needed from the Library.
Ginny grinned in spite of herself.
Suddenly, there was some noise a bit ahead, and Ginny cautiously walked into the classroom it was coming from. Likely it was only a snogging couple, but she held her wand up just in case.
There was a cupboard in the corner that was shaking violently. "Probably a boggart," Ginny thought.
Ginny was moving to leave the room, when the doors of the cupboard burst open and revealed -- Mary Sue!
Ginny screamed and staggered.
"Hi! I'm the new exchange student from America!" The "thing" paused, "I bet you think I'm an author insertion, don't you? Well, for your information, the author has 'golden' hair, while she describes mine as 'platinum blonde.'"
Ginny fumbled with her wand, "Riddikulus! Riddikulus!"
"What are you doing? Is this an English thing? Oh yeah, I never introduced myself...my name is Jade Roxanne Night Day Afternoon Black Snape Potter Malfoy Weasley!" the MS gave her "platinum blonde with red highlights" hair a flip.
Ginny sat straight up in bed, breathing hard. She wiped some cold sweat off her forehead and breathed deeply to calm herself down.
"Just a dream...just a dream..."
She padded down to the common room. Maybe she'd stop by the kitchens and get something to eat. As soon as she walked down the final step, she was greeted by a pair of violet eyes and a perfect curtain of raven black hair. The girl was wearing a baby blue spaghetti strap top. "Boiz r kewt!" was emblazoned on the center of her abnormally large chest. She had a denim skirt on that showed 1/2.46378264 of her midriff and raised above her knee 3 1/18.372893719 inches. She --
Ginny blinked. What the hell? Who said someone could ramble on about some chick's outfit that she didn't even KNOW in the middle of the night, when all she wanted to do was get a glass of water?
"Er...pardon..." Ginny tried to inch around the girl.
"But wait! Aren't you going to marvel at my beauty and then ask me how you can look and act just like me so you can get Harry's attention?"
"Uhh...no...I just want some water...so if you'll excuse me..."
"Aren't we going to become the best of friends and then stay up all night talking, then me and Draco Malfoy will get together and you and Harry Potter will get together, and everyone will be jealous of our stunning beauty but no one will be really angry except Pansy Parkinson who will try to destroy our relationships?"
Ginny started screaming again.
Ginny sat straight up in bed, breathing hard. She wiped some cold sweat off her forehead and breathed deeply to calm herself down.
This was getting ridiculous.
"CURSE YOU MARY SUES! CURSE YOU!" Ginny cried.
"Shut up, Ginny."
"Go back to sleep."
"Wha'samatter?"
"It's just Ginny, being weird again."
"Oh, okay."
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fin
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Music: Harry and the Potters