AN) I've been wanting to do this for a long time…so, here it is. I hope you all like it…read on!
Disclaimer: I do not own SGA
A half hour later
Infirmary:
Major Sheppard's conscious mind began oozing to the forefront of his brain; a flash of red obstructed his thoughts for a brief, blinding moment, and then cleared. "Psst, Carson." Sheppard decided it was best not to make loud noises and whispered for the doctor. "Carson!" Ow…best not to whisper too loud, either. "Carson." Sheppard strained his ears for the doctors voice, he could hear him talking lightly to a nurse…he assumed it was a nurse, because it didn't sound like Dr. Weir…or Teyla, so what other woman could it be than a nurse? "Carson." Annoyed now, Major Sheppard maneuvered his fingers until he found some sort of medical…tube. He gripped it gently and shook it as hard as the throbbing in the back of his skull allowed him to. He heard an odd Phiss, sound followed by several erratic beeps.
Startled, Carson looked up from the clipboard he was examining and gave it the nurse. "Major!" He ran over to John's bed, and frantically searched the readouts.
"Uh." John held up the tube, which was leaking fluid out onto the floor.
Carson took the leaky tube and turned a valve, the leaking stopped. "So, I see your feeling well enough to break my equipment. How're you feeling?"
Was that over-concernedness in his eyes…or guilt? "Fi-ine. What happened? I was reading a book and then…and then." A strange look passed John's features as he remembered clearly, -if a bit hazy…red haze- the events of a half hour ago. Pooky? I was attacked by McKay's Teddy bear?
"I can explain. You were…and Rodney…well, I did it too. It was completely inappropriate of us and I'm sorry." Carson fidgeted nervously.
"Huh?"
Carson then proceeded to tell Major Sheppard about the…incident, from his and Rodney's side. As in, not from the sight behind the delusional red haze and teddy bear feet that had been clamped over his face.
"Oh." And with that said, he fell asleep.
The sun glided slowly around the globe, measured by the passing of a day.
Major Sheppard took a deep breath, a confused look fluttered across his face. Exhale, that was it! Could a person forget how to breathe? Well, he'd remembered, now, and that's what was important.
Rodney peeked into the room; Major Sheppard's privacy curtain was drawn. Taking advantage of his anonymity he beckoned the Doctor over with a wave.
John peered from behind his curtain, his gooey eyelids narrowed with glee. Why are my eyelids all gooey? Were they like this earlier? Where are my hands? Oh, that ones over there…holding the curtain. Was this curtain always so bright? Or was it red? …Where's my other hand…if only I can reach it.
As Beckett reached Rodney to tell him John's status a series of ominous beeps came from various monitors.
"What the…? I need assistance!" Beckette hurried over to Johns bed, before Carson could check anything Johns hand released whatever button it was he had been holding down and he made a grab for the Doctors sleeve, missed it, and made a heroic effort to lift his hand again.
"John what's the matter?"
"Closer." He whispered. "Closer."
Carson moved in closer as directed. Listening intently.
"Tell him I'm dead."
A nurse hurried over to Major Sheppard's side. "Doctor?"
"Nev-"
"Tell him I'm dead!"
Carson frowned, "Just," He stole a glance at McKay, hovering near the hallway looking perturbed. "Look busy." He whispered.
"I don't understand."
John licked his lips while Carson started moving his arms around aimlessly. "How hard is it to look busy…pretend I'm dead."
The confused nurse backed away from the curtain. "Um,' she began aloud, "I'll get the toe tag…Doctor….um, time of death?"
McKay's eyes widened to the point of blurriness. "What!" He ran the seven feet over to the occupied bed and pulled away the curtain.
John immediately went limp; Doctor Beckett adopted the saddest my-patient-just-died look he could muster.
"Um, right…nine 'o' five." The nurse scampered off to find the toe tags. If indeed there were any to be found…
She ran -literally- into Dr. Weir as she reached the door. "Oh, sorry Dr. Weir. Uh, I have to go find some, uh, toe tags." She made to leave but Dr. Weir grabbed her arm.
"Wait, what's going on? Toe tags?"
"Major Sheppard just died," She leaned closer to Dr. Weir, "But not really." She confided.
The nurse ran out of the room, obviously not in the direction where toe tags might be…if they had any.
"Just what is going on here?" She demanded.
"Oh" Carson jumped. "Uh, um."
"I didn't know it would do this! I'm a scientist not a bloody doctor!" McKay shouted.
"Carson, what is going on? And no 'um-ings'."
"I'M ALIVE!" John shouted as he opened his eyes right in front of McKay's lowered face. Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow….pain…
"Aaah!"
"Major Sheppard!"
"What?"