Disclaimer: I do not own any of the mediator character, nor the series. That good enough?

( Summary: In Jesse's POV. He talks about his feeling for Suze and how they cant really be together. As he thinks all of this, he is sitting on the window seat watching her sleep. )

This is a one shot thing people. I don't see how I could make this into anything else. I don't even see the reason why I am writing this. Bored and a little tired I guess. Anyways, R&R when you're done. If you even read it.

Dios! I am so stupid!

How could I do this? Go and fall in love with someone alive? How could I do this to her? I am one of the dead. She is of the living. I cannot do this to her any longer. I cannot come to her as if everything is alright and not all wrong. I want her to have a life. A normal one, if that is possible.

Oh. But I love her so. Just watching her, from the window seat, I can see her face, glow in the moonlight coming in from the window that she has opened, that I will close in an hour or so.

She has this elegance about her, that even she will never see for herself. Although she may go off and commit dangerous fights with ghosts, she is still rather delicate, in all of her beauty and self. She will never know of the true feelings I hold for her. She will never know how much I love to touch her lips with my own. She will never know how much my body trembles when I am so near to her.

She will never know…

…not if I leave tonight.

But, how could I do that to her? I couldn't well leave her a note, now could I? I couldn't leave a verbal letter with Father Dominick. There is no way in heaven that I could do that to my Querida. I could never hurt her that way. No matter how much good it would do for her for my leaving.

Whether she sees it or not, it would be for the best, if I left. I know it would be hard for not only her, but for me as well. But I know I will have to do it eventually.

When I know that it is for the better, when Susannah realizes this as well.

But, tonight, I will just watch her sleep. Peacefully, I may add. No tossing. No turning. No nightmares, it seems. I am glad to see this. I have watched, some nights Susannah will cry out in her sleep. I go to her, take hold of her hand in mine, wipe the sweat from her forehead, and stroke her chestnut hair. That seems to calm her down.

I smile from it.

I wear a smile on my face right now, come to mention the expression. It pleases me to wear one. She puts one on my face….

…her…

My Susannah

My Querida

(P&P: OMG!! I just got attacked by a whopper spider! And I have arachnophobia! Sorry! Just thought you needed that. HA.)