Chapter the Third

Ken, Yohji, Omi and Aya gathered at the appointed time, ready for the hunt. During their briefing, the agent called Chartreux had impressed upon them that this case was extremely risky, but they didn't see how it could be any different than their usual cases. After all, the targets were young girls who had no special powers in particular, and did not seem to pose any kind of physical threat. The members of Weiss were still not entirely sure why the girls had to die – but none of them were about to miss out on a case this bizarre.

While they waited for Chartreux, Ken felt the pressure of being watched. He turned to see Omi gazing at him with stars in his eyes. Ken tried to ignore it and focus on adjusting his bugnuks, but the younger boy kept staring. After a few minutes, Omi sighed wistfully. "Ken-kun… those goggles look really great on you," he murmured.

Aya, a few paces away, looked up in alarm at the sound of Omi's dreamy voice. Without warning, he stepped forward and smacked Omi on the back of the head – breaking the spell, and eliciting a few choice words in a very different tone of voice from the youngest member of the team. "Don't you start that, too," he growled, glancing from Omi to Ken. Ken nodded in understanding. He and Aya had the willpower to fight the strange compulsion, but Weiss did not need their resident archer to start playing Cupid. As if the Ouka thing hadn't been bad enough…

Before Yohji could comment on Aya's abuse of his younger comrade, Chartreux arrived. "Are we all ready?" she asked, still far too perky for someone on a mission of assassination, and was answered again with nods. She pulled out a cellular phone – pink, with a number of charms and keychains dangling from the back – and proceeded to speak a series of code numbers. Finally she disconnected, satisfied. "This way, gentlemen," she said, waving them towards a service door.

When the door opened, brilliant light struck them, and all of them dropped into ready fighting positions as they found themselves in a crowd. As their eyes adjusted, they realized they were surrounded by teeming masses of people, dressed in all kinds of clothing, from ancient Japanese garb to futuristic space suits. Some of them looked extremely bizarre. Gradually, the men of Weiss relaxed as they realized that no one was giving them a second look.

"But I tell you, I didn't slap her!"

Ken and the others whirled around at the sound of Aya's voice, but Aya wasn't speaking – he was staring, speechless, across the room at a man who might have been his brother. The other man was taller, dressed all in white, and his brilliant red hair fell well below his waist. His voice was indeed of the same timbre as Aya's, though his speech was somewhat haughtier. He seemed to be defending himself against a girl with bright pink hair and a mouse on her shoulder.

"If the Rose Bride is out of sorts, it certainly isn't my fault. Why don't you ask her brother, the Chairman, what happened? I'm sure he would know better than I…"

"Gentlemen?" Chartreux was standing by the door, tapping her foot. "We're ready to go, any time you'd like…"

Stunned, they followed her through a second door, and found themselves on a street in a middle-class neighborhood. They spun around, but the road behind them was empty.

"Where… where are we?" Ken asked, awed and unnerved by the sudden transformation.

"Asuka," answered Chartreux. Yohji jumped, but then realized she meant the city, and relaxed. "Your target is on the second floor of that white house."

In a moment they were inside, moving in unison like the team they were, but without the silent deadliness that they usually shared. Aya breathed more rapidly, acutely aware of the lack of the driving force he usually felt on a mission. This time, he felt distinctly human – not at all like Weiss, the murdering shadow – and he was certain that if anyone shot at him tonight, the bullets would strike home.

Chartreux had disappeared as soon as they'd entered the house, and now they found her, waiting at the top of the stairs with a finger to her lips. She gestured to the door behind her, and now they heard high-pitched giggling and shuffling in the next room. The sound was muffled, but a few words could be made out distinctly: Aya… bedroom…Yohji… triangle… Schuldich… What on earth could they be discussing?

On Chartreux's signal, Weiss burst into the room, their spirit dampened but not demolished by the strange events of the evening. A half-dozen teenage girls in pajamas screamed and scrambled behind a table littered with half-completed drawings. Omi, nearest the table, glanced at the sketches and turned pink, then red, then purple in rapid succession. Before he could articulate anything, he was promptly tackled by two of the girls.

"Oh, Omi-kuuuuuun, so kawaiiiiiiii!" they screeched in unison, hugging and pawing him like a toy. Omi screamed for help, but each of his comrades was soon burdened with a fangirl or two of his own.

Yohji hopped on one leg while he tried to shake off a girl attached to his ankle. "Being glomped to death isn't as much fun as I thought," he muttered, leaning on the table for balance. His hand fell on one of the drawings, and he turned to look…

"KYAAAAAHHH!" Yohji lunged backwards, dragging the girl with him, and fell to the floor, his face purpling. All the activity in the room stopped as he became the center of attention. He stuttered and pointed to the table, unable to speak. Ken and Aya leaned over to see for themselves, and turned a similar shade of violet.

"…That's just sick," Ken managed at last. Aya shuddered and turned away.

The girls slumped to the floor, deflated. "You don't like it?" one of them asked.

There was a moment of stunned silence, and then everyone started talking at once.

"I don't even own a ball gag!" Yohji protested.

"I like girls!" Omi cried. "Girls!"

Ken wrestled his arms away from the girls. "How can you deviants even come up with something like that?" he demanded. "That's so… wrong!"

Aya simply drew his katana. For this mission, he didn't need any mysterious driving force to direct his actions. He knew exactly what to do.

---

Persia, flanked by Manx and Birman, glanced over the mission report on his desk. "I must say," he sighed at last, "that was the most bizarre mission order I've ever given. And we have no idea why Kritiker recommended that these girls be eliminated. Did you ever hear any more from that Kritiker agent, Chartreux?"

Birman shook her head. "No. And… I'm not sure I should say this, sir, but… In retrospect, I don't know if Kritiker was the only force behind this. According to Weiss, some very strange things happened during the mission."

Persia frowned. "Such as?"

"That's part of the problem, sir. None of them remember the details, but they all seem to be having strange dreams lately. And… it might not be related, but it seems to me that they're all valuing their privacy and personal space more than ever. Two of them won't even sit on the same couch. I don't understand it at all."

Manx thought for a moment. "Mind-control drugs, perhaps? Although that hardly seems likely. There were no reported injuries, either."

Persia leaned back in his chair and looked up at Manx. "Maybe our boys just need a vacation," he said thoughtfully. "Maybe we all do."

---

Doujima squirmed out of the tight-fitting jacket and shrugged on her usual black coat. She groaned as she kicked at the pile of fabric on the floor. "I can't believe I had to wear that! Who designs skirts that short? I felt like walking fanservice."

Mireille nodded in sympathy. "I know what that's like."

Noin, entering the room, chuckled. "Just think of it as cosplaying, Doujima. You've done that before, haven't you?"

Doujima rolled her eyes and gathered up the skimpy green suit. "I'm going to run these back to wardrobe." She caught sight of a paper in Noin's hand. "What's that?"

Noin waved a sheet of official-looking stationery with a Project W letterhead. "Apparently we got a personal note of thanks from the creator," she said. "Really interesting guy. I've heard him sing… beautiful voice…" She snapped back to the present and held out the letter. "So, um… does anyone read Japanese?"

Fin

[AN: Bonus points to anyone who caught the seiyuu jokes or references to the Weiss DVD outtakes. Up next: SPCFC III: The Search For Spike. Featuring the Third Director, Amon, and a host of characters culled from British literary sources!]