Monkey Business

Part IV

Brenna "Snakelady" Dawkins

A Jackie Chan Adventures Fanfic

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Jackie Chan and subsequent characters belong to Jackie Chan and associates. It'd be pretty useless to sue me since I have nothing! I've made no profit nor will see any from this fic.

Summary: The Monkey King is back and to insure he's never turned into wood again, he must marry into royalty. But when he finds his reluctant Queen, he also falls in love for the first time with someone else.

(AN: Sorry for the long delay. This fic just wasn't cooperating for the longest time! I'd write a few paragraphs then I would be stuck again. I don't remember how I intended to end it so I'm not sure exactly how Finn and Jade will get out of this one… though a very naughty idea just came to mind!)

*****

Captain Black had the cell phone to his ear. "That's right, Jackie. A big, ugly, talking monkey came and snatched her. I have my best agents scouring the city for her now. I'm sorry, Jackie."

"It's the Monkey King." Jackie's voice over the line said and Black could hear the anxiety it contained.

He knew it was really bad and that Jade must be in real danger by Jackie's reaction. Of course, it wasn't everyday one had a talking, man-sized monkey seize the person you were charged to baby-sit… but then again, life with the Chan's wasn't exactly what one would call normal. Ever since the Shendu business, this kind of thing was common happenstance. "There's no need for you to come back just yet, Jackie. Once we get a lead, I'll let you know, but until then, there isn't really anything for you to do."

"But he's dangerous and has a chip on his shoulder bigger then Tohru!" Jackie sputtered.

"Jackie, I understand that… with the training Uncle gave our men-"

"Magic must defeat magic! And the Monkey King uses the darkest kind!"

"I thought the Monkey King was supposed to spread mirth and what-have-you." Black said.

"He is a chaotic force gone mad." Jackie replied unhappily. "No disrespect intended, Black, but your men aren't equipped to handle such uncontrolled energies. Imagine a creature that can alter reality at a whim. He can turn guns into bananas if he so wished."

Black felt like he let his friend down and in a major way. "Please, Jackie, let me try to do this my way. If we come up against something untoward… then we'll do it your way."

"Did the Monkey King say anything to you before he left?"

"Something about getting his queen… I think he meant Jade. Jackie? What was he talking about?"

"I don't know. I'll have to ask Uncle. Okay, Black, you're my friend so I trust you. I'll stay put for now… but call me when you find out anything, okay?"

Black could tell Jackie didn't like the plan at all but was going to go along with it anyway.

Back at the Monkey King's hideout, Jade and Finn were using a reinforced door as cover.

"Any idea on how to get rid of that damned rodent?" Finn sighed.

"You're asking me?"

Finn snorted. "You're the queen, remember?"

"Not yet and not ever if I have anything to do with it!" Jade grumbled. "A hand grenade would be nice right about now."

"Yeah, tell me about it." Finn cautiously peered around the door, eyeing the bad ass bunny that was patrolling the hallways. "Though I'd sure kill for some pants right about now."

"We'll go shopping after we get out of here. At least you still have your bling." She'd eyed his precious medallion.

Finn sighed and would have rather had his manhood remained unscathed. But that was long gone no thanks to that demented ape! He clutched at his sagging sheet and hiked it up a bit.

"Well, this isn't getting us anywhere… plus that damned ape is probably looking for us." Finn growled.

"How high up are we?"

The Enforcer shrugged. "I came here with a sack over my head. I don't even know where the hell we are."

"Well… I think we're at least four stories up. We came in from the rooftops."

Finn looked at her askance. "And just what are you suggesting? Us leaving the same way? Last time I could fly I was under Daolong Wong's spell."

"Yeah, what was up with that anyway?" Jade had always been curious about that.

"Like we had a choice?" Finn said, irritated with the memory. "He abducted us, dudette. Big V pissed him off and he turned us into his immortal slaves. And… we're wasting time here, you know."

Jade peered around the door as well. "Hey, it's gone!"

"Huh?" Finn glanced around the door again and his eyes widened. "Probably patrolling another area… this is our chance!"

"Yeah, to get blown up and shot at."

But Finn had no interest in waiting any longer. He stood up and made sure his make-shift loin cloth was a bit more secure.

"Well, I'm gonna go for it. Stay here if you want, Jade."

Against her better judgment, she reluctantly followed the Enforcer. The hall was indeed clear, no bunny, no tentacles, no problem.

"Weird. I wonder why the safe guards are turned off?" Jade whispered from behind the man clad in white.

"Donkey Kong must be preparing for the wedding, is my guess." Finn said with no humor. "And besides, I think he has other things on his mind."

Jade wasn't sure if she wanted to know exactly what the Monkey King had done to Finn. She'd never seen a grown man cry before and the fact that it had been the relatively tough guy in front of her gave her conflicting emotions. She never really saw him as anything but a bad guy who always got in the way before but now she was beginning to think of him as a human being with emotions and troubles like everyone else. He wasn't even really an Enforcer any more. Valmont's empire was defunct and had no hold over them.

She was dragged from her moment of enlightenment when Finn yelped in sudden pain and doubled over, his hands clasped against his shoulder.

"What is it, Finn?" Jade was behind him still so she couldn't see what was wrong.

"Stay behind me…" He managed in a strangled voice. Finn was still doubled over and gasping against the agony in his shoulder.

Frowning, she obeyed though her curiosity was killing her. Was Finn hurt somehow? She hadn't seen anything happen except for Finn's sudden antics one produces while in extreme pain.

"This hall's booby trapped." He finally managed to say and straightened up slowly. He leaned against the wall feeling a little shaky and unsteady.

"Oh, well that explains it." Jade said quietly. She peered around Finn's leg and looked up at the Enforcer, EX-Enforcer, she reminded herself. Then she gasped. "You have an arrow sticking out of your shoulder!"

Finn rolled his eyes. "Thanks for pointing that out to me, Jade. I might have missed it otherwise."

She frowned. "Well, so-o-o-rry, it's just not something I see every day, you know? Um, should we try to pull it out now?"

"Hell no! I could frigging bleed to death or something!" Finn scowled.

"It's your SHOULDER, and besides, it's your right one, not your left." She reminded him with arms crossed.

He snorted. "Yeah, well… it's MY shoulder, not yours! You're not gonna touch it!"

She shrugged. "Fine. Whatever. How did it get there anyway?"

"I think this is a nightingale floor."

She blinked at him uncomprehendingly.

"Look, don'tcha remember in Indiana Jones when he was in that temple and he stepped on the floor and the arrows came out of the walls?"

"O-o-o-oh!" She beamed, suddenly an authority.

"Great, glad we're on the same page for once." Finn said feeling agitated. His shoulder was throbbing and he was getting sick of this place. "So, we have to figure out where to step is all until we get to the other side."

"Oh, is THAT all?"

"I'm NOT turning back!" Finn hissed.

"You think I want to? Well, where were you when you got shot?"

Finn blinked at her light conversational pattern to his dilemma. He sighed and then inspected the floor just behind him. Then he stopped as he noticed a very tiny and funny symbol of a smiling ape he hadn't noticed before embossed on the tile he had stepped on a moment ago.

"Damned ape!" He growled.

Jade squatted to take a closer look at it. Then she glanced at the tile beside the one with the Monkey King's face. It had a bunny on it with its big gun.

"I don't think we want to step on this tile either, Finn." She pointed to the image. "Um, Finn…" She noted that she was on the section just before the nightingale floor seemed to begin while Finn was a few tiles into it.

Finn paled and froze in place when he realized what she was indicating. What tile was he standing on? With care and quite a bit of wincing from the pain in his shoulder, he peered as closely as he could to the tile he was currently on. It was blank. He sighed in heartfelt relief. Then he thought he should see if there were any other tiles that had nothing on them close by. He saw more monkeys and bunnies.

"Hey, I think that one's a disco ball." He pointed to one that was more then three feet away. It would be a long stretch, even for his long legs. Surely nothing bad could happen on one of his most beloved atmospheric enhancers, could it?

"If you want to give it a shot, be my guest."

"Dudette, don't say shot around me at the moment, 'kay?" Finn said grimly as his shoulder already gave him a constant reminder of his circumstance.

Jade was quite willing to hang back and watch. She didn't think she could make such a large step from tile to tile anyway. She watched as he made the long step and saw him cringe in anticipation of something bad happening to him. Instead a big disco ball was lowered down from the ceiling and began to turn. Lights hit it from somewhere and disco music permeated the air.

"Groovy!" Finn said clearly relieved. "You comin' kid? I mean, Jade?"

She still had her arms crossed and she looked at him with a 'you've got to be kidding' look. "I can't step that far."

Finn swore to himself. He hadn't thought of that. "Uh, well… I guess I could carry you or something." He said reluctantly. He supposed he owed Jade at least that since she had helped him out of the Monkey King's bed after all.

Jade stared at him in disbelief but after thinking about her other options but she found that was the only one open to her. Finn made it back to where she was standing. He stared down at her awkwardly then turned around and knelt down, making it clear that she was to ride piggy back. Getting the message, she crawled up and latched onto his back. In her scramble she'd accidentally hit the shaft of the arrow and heard a muffled groan of pain from Finn.

"Sorry."

"Just… be careful." He hissed back and stood up. He wrapped his arms around her legs so she wouldn't slip off.

Jade held on with her arms around Finn's neck feeling awkward herself. She scanned the floor as Finn leapt from tile to tile. Some were close together but most were almost impossible distances apart. At one point Finn over balanced and had to use the wall to keep from falling over onto a myriad of dangerous looking tiles. His heart was pounding.

"Come on, Finn. Don't stop now, we're almost to the end of the floor!"

Finn was sweating. He really wasn't looking forward to getting shot again. There was no way he was going to hurry this.

"It ain't as easy as it looks, ya know." He grumbled and stood upright once more.

"Ew, I got your blood all over my hand." Jade said seriously grossed out.

Finn was not amused. "So sorry for the inconvenience." He bit back sarcastically. "I'll try to watch where I bleed in the future."

"You're stalling."

"I'm frigging tired! I've lost blood! This takes frigging effort!"

He sure is testy, she thought. After a few more moments of catching his breath, he continued forward. Jade was right though. He could see where the nightingale floor ended. He couldn't trust it though. Once they had the tiles figured out their journey had been incident free.

Jade noticed he was hesitating again. "What?"

"It's just… there has to be something waiting for us once we get there, I know it."

Jade was peering over his left shoulder. She could understand his reluctance. "Well, we'll never know if we just stand here."

"I'd almost prefer the bunny over the Monkey King." He admitted.

"Maybe if you take its gun." She suggested.

Finn snorted at the child's audacity but once the idea sunk in he sort of liked it. He was pretty good with a gun. He'd certainly feel safer. He looked down at the tile in front of the one he was standing on. It was the bunny tile. He glanced at Jade.

"Up to you." She said unhelpfully.

He sighed tiredly. "I'm not up to wrestling a six hundred pound bunny at the moment."

"Well… we gonna get out of here or what?" Jade said feeling a bit impatient.

"Or what?" Said a withering and familiar voice from behind them.

To Be Continued…