Fairytale Disorder
Chapter 1: Once upon a time...
Once upon a time, blah, blah, blah (insert long life story here), there was a boy named Dark who was accused of WIZARDRY, and almost got STAKED but it rained so they delayed it until the next day, fortunately for him, the ropes came loose because his FRIEND Daisuke SUCKED at typing ropes and he was able to get himself FREE. Unfortunately, he had no where to go, and the ever so feared DRAGON flew by, fortunately, the dragon IGNORED him, unfortunately, Dark threw his SHOES at the dragon causing it to NOTICE the boy. Fortunately, the dragon didn't EAT him, he just took him HOME, unfortunately, they had an argument, fortunately, they forgot all about it in the morning and set off to a town where a PERVERTED church master was to have REVENGE.
Unfortunately, the inn they went to only had a single bed/room left so they had to SHARE, fortunately the villagers there were really NICE and had really GOOD food, unfortunately, when Dark was out looking for "jobs", he was ABDUCTED by the EVIL church master and abused, fortunately, Krad and the villager found him and the evil/perverted church master was TOASTED. Unfortunately, the incident with the TOASTED old dude triggered some unhappy memories for Dark, fortunately, Krad COMFORTED him the best he could and they headed to where Dark was supposed to be STAKED in the first place, unfortunately, Dark had to stay HIDDEN since people would recognize him and try to stake him AGAIN.
Fortunately, Dark didn't get raped while STANDING there, and Krad came back with a big sculpture from the man with the SQUINTY eyes with a very RUDE son, unfortunately, Dark had to wrap ink soaked RAGS around his head and limbs so people wouldn't recognize him, fortunately, they got to make a SCENE in front of the SQUINTY eyed man's shop and they made him look BAD and it was FUN. Unfortunately, some creepy OLD man came along who turned out to be the EVIL church master and he called Krad STUPID and cuffed him with iron. Fortunately, Krad KILLED the church master and it was FUNNY, and Dark KISSED him for it then ran back to get tools to BREAK the iron with, unfortunately, bandits made a deal with Dark, and Krad was DYING and the man with the SQUINTY eyes caught Dark and made ANOTHER deal with him, fortunately Dark saved Krad before he DIED.
Unfortunately, Krad DITCHED him and flew off and left him to be staked, fortunately, Krad came to the RESCUE, unfortunately, Dark had to settle the second part of the DEAL with the bandits and gets HARASSED, fortunately, Krad comes to the rescue AGAIN and they have a SAPPY, sappy ending with a lot of HUGGING and LAUGHTER and it is HEART-WARMING. And they lived happily ever after, but it's not the ending yet since they still have a LIFE and ADVENTURES yet to be ADVENTURED...okay....not quite adventures, stupid mistakes made by Dark which get corrected by Krad...okay...not that either...Dark goes along with his own plans and the usual trouble happens? ...whatever, just read.
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Dark stifled a yawn as he poured himself yet another cup of coffee, the sun was setting and he didn't feel like sleeping. Krad was somewhere sleeping already it was amazing how a dragon could instantly fall asleep when he wanted to, he gulped down his coffee and looked around, he was full of energy but he had to stay quiet since the sleeping dragon would fry him to a crisp. The boy walked outside and enjoyed the fresh air, he saw something run off in a distance and decided to chase after it to wear off some of that extra energy. It would've been a good idea if he didn't lose sight of it, he looked around for some weird little person/guy/animal/thingy and saw nothing but forest.
Damn...might as well head back before Krad starts telling me how I get myself harassed every time I do things my way. The worst part was knowing that the dragon was right, then again, he was always right, which made Dark feel stupid, very stupid. He sighed again, he looked around, he couldn't see the barn anywhere, shit, shit, I'm going to be killed! Where the hell am I!? Maybe if I retrace my steps...damn, I don't know which way I came from, that was smart. Krad's going to come and look for me and then lecture me and then I'll get angry and sleep in the barn again!
Dark sighed again, he sat down trying to think things out, but that plan didn't last long, something clamped over his mouth and pulled him deeper into the forest, the boy tried struggling, but his captor was bigger, much bigger then him, he was pinned against a tree by one hand, he looked at his captor, too bad for him, his captor didn't exactly look...human. In fact, it looked nothing close to human; it was very, very ugly, horns and all, pointy ears, claws, strange markings on its face. Great...just what I need, some weird ugly thing abducting me...
The weird ugly thing spoke, but not to him, "I think she'll do just fine don't you? I mean they weren't all that pretty."
A voice came out of no where, "Good job, yea, she'll do."
She!? SHE!? Are they calling me a GIRL!? AGAIN!? He wanted to threaten them that he had a dragon for a friend but decided against it, it wouldn't do him any good to say I have a dragon friend and maybe something more than that, and if he hears me yell for help...and he wakes up, he'll come roaring and burn you to nothingness! The boy managed to free his mouth from the big hand's grasp, "Yea...incase you haven't noticed, I'm a boy."
The big weird ugly looking thing looked at him, "Well so you are! Oh well, it doesn't matter, no one's going to complain."
Dark looked baffled, "Complain? About what?"
The mysterious unseen voice somewhat explained, "We're demons and we thought it'd be fun to abduct the princesses from this place, but the prince charmings aren't happy since they don't have someone to rescue and make them look good, so now we need a replacement for the princesses which is you, and yea, any questions?"
Dark just stared at where the voice was coming from, which was behind the big ugly thing, "So you're saying that you're demons..."
"Yup."
"And you're abducting to replace princesses."
"Yup."
"I'm not only a boy, but I'm only one person, how can I replace more than one princess?"
"The gender part doesn't matter since the prince charmings just want something pretty to rescue, they're each rescuing you on a different day so no worries."
"So they rescue me from strange doomlyness and I ditch them only to get rescued again."
"Yup."
"I don't want to so let me go home."
"No, we aren't stupid you know."
"...well so you aren't...I'll just be heading back now if you'll be so kind as to let me go."
The big ugly thing spoke up, "No, the prince charmings are going to kill us if we don't find a substitute."
"Why me? I mean, I'm not princess-like in any way."
"Sure you are, your looks are fine, now all we need to know is whether you have what it takes to actually be a princess."
"I'm flattered that you think I have the looks, but I'm sure I don't so if you'll just let me be on my way..."
"Nope, not until you try."
"We'll never make it on time..."
"We're fast, so we'll make it to the first destination by night."
I'm being abducted by demons...real demons...where the hell is Krad? That stupid dragon, how could he sleep at a time like this!? The big ugly looking demon slung Dark over his "shoulder" and walked away, only then did Dark notice a smaller demon which was actually the guy/person/animal/thingy walking behind them. Maybe I should yell for help... Just then the smaller demon jumped next to him and gagged him. ...or not...And they headed off somewhere quite far away but the demons really were fast and Dark could feel the wind blow his through his hair.
While back at the barn, Krad opened a golden eye and looked around, no sign of Dark, he shrugged it off, he must be sleeping or something...why do I get the feeling that I'm making a mistake...oh well, must be my imagination.
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Nya Like this is the sequel (most likely) to Condemned (if you haven't read it, it's okay...I think) –shrugs-, hope you enjoy! The genre is actually fantasy/humour/parody/romance but oh well I can only put two of them up! Thankies for those of you who read Condemned and thankies even more for those who reviewed it! Please R&R!
Chapter 1: Once upon a time...
Once upon a time, blah, blah, blah (insert long life story here), there was a boy named Dark who was accused of WIZARDRY, and almost got STAKED but it rained so they delayed it until the next day, fortunately for him, the ropes came loose because his FRIEND Daisuke SUCKED at typing ropes and he was able to get himself FREE. Unfortunately, he had no where to go, and the ever so feared DRAGON flew by, fortunately, the dragon IGNORED him, unfortunately, Dark threw his SHOES at the dragon causing it to NOTICE the boy. Fortunately, the dragon didn't EAT him, he just took him HOME, unfortunately, they had an argument, fortunately, they forgot all about it in the morning and set off to a town where a PERVERTED church master was to have REVENGE.
Unfortunately, the inn they went to only had a single bed/room left so they had to SHARE, fortunately the villagers there were really NICE and had really GOOD food, unfortunately, when Dark was out looking for "jobs", he was ABDUCTED by the EVIL church master and abused, fortunately, Krad and the villager found him and the evil/perverted church master was TOASTED. Unfortunately, the incident with the TOASTED old dude triggered some unhappy memories for Dark, fortunately, Krad COMFORTED him the best he could and they headed to where Dark was supposed to be STAKED in the first place, unfortunately, Dark had to stay HIDDEN since people would recognize him and try to stake him AGAIN.
Fortunately, Dark didn't get raped while STANDING there, and Krad came back with a big sculpture from the man with the SQUINTY eyes with a very RUDE son, unfortunately, Dark had to wrap ink soaked RAGS around his head and limbs so people wouldn't recognize him, fortunately, they got to make a SCENE in front of the SQUINTY eyed man's shop and they made him look BAD and it was FUN. Unfortunately, some creepy OLD man came along who turned out to be the EVIL church master and he called Krad STUPID and cuffed him with iron. Fortunately, Krad KILLED the church master and it was FUNNY, and Dark KISSED him for it then ran back to get tools to BREAK the iron with, unfortunately, bandits made a deal with Dark, and Krad was DYING and the man with the SQUINTY eyes caught Dark and made ANOTHER deal with him, fortunately Dark saved Krad before he DIED.
Unfortunately, Krad DITCHED him and flew off and left him to be staked, fortunately, Krad came to the RESCUE, unfortunately, Dark had to settle the second part of the DEAL with the bandits and gets HARASSED, fortunately, Krad comes to the rescue AGAIN and they have a SAPPY, sappy ending with a lot of HUGGING and LAUGHTER and it is HEART-WARMING. And they lived happily ever after, but it's not the ending yet since they still have a LIFE and ADVENTURES yet to be ADVENTURED...okay....not quite adventures, stupid mistakes made by Dark which get corrected by Krad...okay...not that either...Dark goes along with his own plans and the usual trouble happens? ...whatever, just read.
-----------------------------------
Dark stifled a yawn as he poured himself yet another cup of coffee, the sun was setting and he didn't feel like sleeping. Krad was somewhere sleeping already it was amazing how a dragon could instantly fall asleep when he wanted to, he gulped down his coffee and looked around, he was full of energy but he had to stay quiet since the sleeping dragon would fry him to a crisp. The boy walked outside and enjoyed the fresh air, he saw something run off in a distance and decided to chase after it to wear off some of that extra energy. It would've been a good idea if he didn't lose sight of it, he looked around for some weird little person/guy/animal/thingy and saw nothing but forest.
Damn...might as well head back before Krad starts telling me how I get myself harassed every time I do things my way. The worst part was knowing that the dragon was right, then again, he was always right, which made Dark feel stupid, very stupid. He sighed again, he looked around, he couldn't see the barn anywhere, shit, shit, I'm going to be killed! Where the hell am I!? Maybe if I retrace my steps...damn, I don't know which way I came from, that was smart. Krad's going to come and look for me and then lecture me and then I'll get angry and sleep in the barn again!
Dark sighed again, he sat down trying to think things out, but that plan didn't last long, something clamped over his mouth and pulled him deeper into the forest, the boy tried struggling, but his captor was bigger, much bigger then him, he was pinned against a tree by one hand, he looked at his captor, too bad for him, his captor didn't exactly look...human. In fact, it looked nothing close to human; it was very, very ugly, horns and all, pointy ears, claws, strange markings on its face. Great...just what I need, some weird ugly thing abducting me...
The weird ugly thing spoke, but not to him, "I think she'll do just fine don't you? I mean they weren't all that pretty."
A voice came out of no where, "Good job, yea, she'll do."
She!? SHE!? Are they calling me a GIRL!? AGAIN!? He wanted to threaten them that he had a dragon for a friend but decided against it, it wouldn't do him any good to say I have a dragon friend and maybe something more than that, and if he hears me yell for help...and he wakes up, he'll come roaring and burn you to nothingness! The boy managed to free his mouth from the big hand's grasp, "Yea...incase you haven't noticed, I'm a boy."
The big weird ugly looking thing looked at him, "Well so you are! Oh well, it doesn't matter, no one's going to complain."
Dark looked baffled, "Complain? About what?"
The mysterious unseen voice somewhat explained, "We're demons and we thought it'd be fun to abduct the princesses from this place, but the prince charmings aren't happy since they don't have someone to rescue and make them look good, so now we need a replacement for the princesses which is you, and yea, any questions?"
Dark just stared at where the voice was coming from, which was behind the big ugly thing, "So you're saying that you're demons..."
"Yup."
"And you're abducting to replace princesses."
"Yup."
"I'm not only a boy, but I'm only one person, how can I replace more than one princess?"
"The gender part doesn't matter since the prince charmings just want something pretty to rescue, they're each rescuing you on a different day so no worries."
"So they rescue me from strange doomlyness and I ditch them only to get rescued again."
"Yup."
"I don't want to so let me go home."
"No, we aren't stupid you know."
"...well so you aren't...I'll just be heading back now if you'll be so kind as to let me go."
The big ugly thing spoke up, "No, the prince charmings are going to kill us if we don't find a substitute."
"Why me? I mean, I'm not princess-like in any way."
"Sure you are, your looks are fine, now all we need to know is whether you have what it takes to actually be a princess."
"I'm flattered that you think I have the looks, but I'm sure I don't so if you'll just let me be on my way..."
"Nope, not until you try."
"We'll never make it on time..."
"We're fast, so we'll make it to the first destination by night."
I'm being abducted by demons...real demons...where the hell is Krad? That stupid dragon, how could he sleep at a time like this!? The big ugly looking demon slung Dark over his "shoulder" and walked away, only then did Dark notice a smaller demon which was actually the guy/person/animal/thingy walking behind them. Maybe I should yell for help... Just then the smaller demon jumped next to him and gagged him. ...or not...And they headed off somewhere quite far away but the demons really were fast and Dark could feel the wind blow his through his hair.
While back at the barn, Krad opened a golden eye and looked around, no sign of Dark, he shrugged it off, he must be sleeping or something...why do I get the feeling that I'm making a mistake...oh well, must be my imagination.
------------------------------------------------------------
Nya Like this is the sequel (most likely) to Condemned (if you haven't read it, it's okay...I think) –shrugs-, hope you enjoy! The genre is actually fantasy/humour/parody/romance but oh well I can only put two of them up! Thankies for those of you who read Condemned and thankies even more for those who reviewed it! Please R&R!