The rain soaked though my jacket as I walked to work... it's a warm rain so I
don't mind the fact that I look like a drowned rat.. It has been a month
now since Fred left with the kids and we have been locked in a custody
battle for them ever since he told me that he cheated on me... that still
pisses me off to think that all that time I had been oblivious to the fact
that some other woman had been sleepin with my husband of 15 years... when he
left he took the truck and left me with walking to work.. I don't mind its
good exercise and I get a chance to clear my mind.. but this morning I
looked out and it was pouring outside and Em must have taken the umbrella
from the closet as she left and when it was still raining when I left for
work I had to walk in it..
A car horn gets my attention as I stand waiting for the light to change... I look over and its Bosco's mustang at the corner.. I look inside and he is waving at me, motioning for me to come over.. I walk over to the door and open it..
"You wanna ride? Its pouring cats an dogs out here..."
I nod my head and climb into the car hearing myself "Squish:" into the seat as I sit down
"Jesus Faith your soaked!"
"Yeah tell me something I don't know..."
The light turns green and Bosco pulls away while I lean over and wring my hair out onto the floor of the car.. Bosco just sits there and laughs at me
"You cold? I can turn on the heat if you want.."
"Nah Boz I'm fine.. its warm outside I don't mind being wet like this.. but I am not cold.."
We pull up to the house and I get out.. I watch Bosco run for the door trying to keep dry.. but as for me I don't care I'm already wet.. I cant get much wetter than this.. I head towards the house in the pouring rain. Bosco is waiting for me by the front desk.. Swersky looks up at me and shakes his head at me..
"Make sure your dry by roll Faith..."
"Yeah Boss.. sure" I walk past him with Bosco as we make our way to the locker room.. Bosco reaches into his locker and hands me a towel
"Don't worry its clean... do you have a spare uniform?"
I nod and take out the uniform I left in my locker last night.. it was still clean besides I could always get Bosco to drive by my place so I could change into a new one but for now this will do. I dry out my hair with Bosco's towel and I start peeling my wet clothes off of me.. I look up for a moment and I see that Bosco's already changed and his eyes are glued to me... I feel a blush rise to my cheeks.. as I hurry to change into some dryer clothes..
"Allright guys Eyes and Ears out there"
We all filed out of the roll room and I looked at Bosco..
"You get the radios and I'll get the car?"
He nods at me and heads of to Radio dispatch and I head off to get the car.. I am surprised that he let me get the car.. usually he likes to get it because that means he gets to drive the first ½ of the tour.. I get the keys to the car and wait for Bosco by the door.
"Is he keeping you waiting again Faith?"
I turn my head and laugh when I see its Sully who said that to me..
"Yeah Sul he likes doin that sometimes"
He squeezes me on the shoulder as he passes me and I high five Ty as he walks by me.. we have done this every shift since I came back from being shot. Sully and Ty started working closer to where we were and we slowly started becoming a tag team.. we would get them running and they would catch them.. and vice versa.
Bosco walks up to me and hands me a radio, I take it from him and offer him the keys to the RMP
"Nah you drive first"
"You feelin allright? You never wanna drive second...."
He nods and we run out to the RMP parked out front in the pouring rain.. forget tossing it.. we'll find some sheltered parking somewhere to toss it.. but right now I am in dry clothes and I plan on staying that way.. Bosco gets in the passenger side and I hop into the drivers side as I start the car and put it into gear.
"Thanks for the ride Bos.. that was good of ya"
He turns all red as I watched him blush a bit.. I love it when his ears turn pink like they just did.. He just nods and we drive on.. I have a feeling that this shift is going to be rather quiet.. just out of habit I drive to our hiding spot underneath the bridge.. this is our bridge.. the one where we shared many, many stories and confessed many things to each other.. I love this bridge I have some happy memories here all of them with Bosco...
I put the car into park and turn off the engine.. I sit back and listen to the rain hit the top of the RMP.. I don't know why but I find it soothing just sitting here listening to the rain I look over at Bosco and he has his eyes closed...
"Boz.."
"Yeah Faith..."
I take out the white envelope and hand it to him.. I know what's inside it.. Divorce papers that I had drawn up last week.. I went to Fred the next day and he signed them with almost no hesitation.. we met in the same diner where he told me that he had cheated on me.. I made a point to sit at the same damn table.. just to drive my point home.. that I was serious.. he drove the final nail into the coffin that was our marriage.. Bosco takes the envelope from me and opens it.. I watch his eyes widen as he reads the words on the paper... his mouth drops when he sees that they are signed by both of us and notarized.
"Faith.. is this what I think..."
I nod slowly.. trying to keep the tears from spilling over my eyes.. although he cheated on me.. he was still my husband.. we shared so much together.. I had his kids... he still meant something to me.. I just cant be with him any longer.. I don't trust him anymore.. I cant be in a relationship like that.. not now.. not ever..
"When does it become official?"
"when I hand those papers to a Judge.."
The tears spill over my eyes and I wipe them away quickly.. I cant let Bosco see me cryin like this..
"Oh Faith" too late.. he saw a stray tear fall onto my cheek and run down my face to drip onto my shirt... I sniffle and I feel his arms snake around my waist, drawing me into his embrace.. I go willingly and rest my head on his shoulder.. he turns his head to snuggle into mine as I hang onto him for support.. he has always been there for me
"Bosco.. its really over.. I feel like such a failure.. my marriage failed..." I sob into his shoulder..
Bosco rocks me and tries to soothe me "Faith he was the one who cheated on you... you tried to make this marriage work for 12 years.. at least the 12 that I have been your partner for...you did your best to make it work.. I saw you put up with things I would have never stood for... I saw you work though his alcoholism... I saw you work though your differences.. Faith this isn't your fault.. if he cant handle you being who you are then he wasn't the one for you in the first place..."
I drew comfort from Bosco's words, taking solace in what I knew was true.. I still feel like I failed.. even though Bosco's words of comfort helped me to see that what happened was inevitable..
"55 David respond to a report of a break in at 128 west 29th"
Damnit just when I get comfortable too.. I reach over and grab my radio
"55 David responding 128 west 29th"
Bosco looks at me and smiles as I start the car and we pull away...
Several hours later
I look at the clock.. its 10:30... and I am buried in a mound of paperwork... Cruz that bitch I'm gonna kill her for piling on this paperwork... Bosco and I collared one guy in connection with that break-in that we responded to earlier and it turns out that he was someone who that bitch thought was involved with her latest obsession.. so she decided to question him.. and when he didn't respond the bitch broke his nose by slamming him into the lockup doors... so now I Bosco and I are sitting here working out the paperwork that we had to fill out because of her "Questioning techniques" we got one of the other units to take him to Mercy while we stayed here filling out incident report after incident report...
Bosco throws down his pen and looks at me with tired written all over his face...
"Faith is almost quittin time.. how ya doin there?"
"I'll be here a while yet Boz.. I have two more forms to fill out.."
Bosco reaches across to my desk and pinches one of the forms and starts filling it out
"well now you have one less to do"
I smile and double back on to working on the form. The next time I look at the clock it is 11:30 Bosco and I should have been long gone by now.. I finish the form that I had been working on and look over at Bosco.. he has his head in his hands and he's snoring softly.. I laughed softly to myself at seeing Bosco fast asleep on his desk.. I get up and walk around right behind him.. for some stupid reason I cant explain I reach around him and let my fingers trail across his neck.. he inhales sharply and with a moan nuzzles his neck closer to my hand and then turns around to look at me...
"I knew it had to be you.... You're the only one who has soft hands"
I cant help but smile at his comment. I lean my head on top of his and breath in the scent of his hair.. I love his scent.. it comforts me when I think that I am all alone..
"You ready to blow this popsicle stand?"
He looks back at me and smiles as he gets up from the desk
"You better believe it.. it stopped raining.. do you want a ride home?"
I was going to walk but I'm just too damn tired to even bother walking out the front door let alone the 10 blocks to my empty apartment.. I just nod my head and Bosco laughs
"I thought you would say that.. come on lets get outta here.. I don't wanna see another form for the rest of the week.. and its only Tuesday"
Bosco and I get changed as fast as possible to avoid being asked to stay for a double.. I would work one but I just don't have the energy tonight.. I am too emotionally exhausted.. My clothes are still a little damp as I take them off the hanger.. but they'll do I pull my jeans back on and reach over to put my shoes on and I notice that Bosco has his eyes glued to me again... I look back at him, making sure that I catch him right in the eyes.. I make sure he knows that I know hes lookin at me... Bosco turns about 50 shades of red and looks away and I smile..
Bosco drops me off infront of my apartment, I look over and using my hand I turn his face to me
"what?"
"Wanna come up for a drink or somethin?"
Bosco nods his head and follows me upstairs.. I open the door to my apartment and flick on the light, I hear Bosco's shocked gasp behind me.. I forgot that he hadn't been here since Fred left with the kids.. The couch was gone.. Fred came back and got that.. so was the Lay-Z-Boy... I let him have the bedroom set.. I didn't want it anyhow.. now knowing that there was a possibility of someone else sleeping between the sheets on it.. I have been sleeping in the kids beds.. its funny he left them... I guess he wanted to leave me a constant reminder of what he took from me... at least I have some comfort at night when I sleep knowing that I am close to them... if they arnt here at least I can be nearer to them in my dreams..
"Faith.. he took everything.. but he didn't take the T.V.. I would have thought he would have taken that too.."
I shook my head.. ."I wouldn't let him have it.. It was my paycheck that paid for it and I told him that... so he left it"
I walk into the kitchen and grab a beer for Bosco and a bottle of water for myself.. I don't feel much like drinkin.. growing up with alcoholism around you.. you are put off by it sometimes.. sure I have the occasional drink while we are at Haggerty's with the guys but it is only just the one that I have.. Bosco takes the beer from my hand and sits on one of the kitchen chairs..
"Faith if you need anywhere to stay... my door is always open for you..."
I smile at him.. it was soo sweet of him to offer that I don't know what to say.. he has a sincere look on his face as he says it to me.. I cant help but blush..
"Where will you sleep... you only have the one bed there..."
"I'll take the couch.. don't worry about me Faith.. as long as your allright I don't care what happens to me"
"Thanks Boz... for everythin..."
He stands up and takes me into his arms and holds me... normally I would have been scared out of my wits to be here in my kitchen in Bosco's arms... Waiting for Fred to come home and find us here like this.. but this time he isn't coming home.. and standing here in Bosco's arms I come to realize that he has been here for me all along.. though it all.. though everything that Fred has put me though.. everything that happened with the kids... he has been here for me though it all... and the words that he said to me earlier ring in my ears..." Faith this isn't your fault.. if he cant handle you being who you are then he wasn't the one for you in the first place..." And then it hits me like a ton of bricks.. I haven't lost anything but a deadweight.. Fred was holding me down.. he was holding me back from realizing my true feelings.. I was in the arms of the man I loved.. truly loved... I pull away from him and place my hands on the sides of his face..
"Bosco...."
He looks at me in the eyes and I send all my love and thanks into that one look
"Yeah Faith?"
"I love you..."
I said it... I came out and confessed what I had known and repressed for all these years.. Bosco's eyes grow wide and he looks back at me in disbelief but he doesn't let me go he just stands there.. and then without warning he leans into my face and I feel the soft brush of his lips over mine as he kisses me... I don't know how long we stood like that for but my mind reels from the kiss that we share... finally he pulls away and whispers in my ear
"I love you too Faith.. more than you could ever imagaine"
he loves me back.. thank the gods above he loves me back.. and for the first time I know that I am going to be allright.
A car horn gets my attention as I stand waiting for the light to change... I look over and its Bosco's mustang at the corner.. I look inside and he is waving at me, motioning for me to come over.. I walk over to the door and open it..
"You wanna ride? Its pouring cats an dogs out here..."
I nod my head and climb into the car hearing myself "Squish:" into the seat as I sit down
"Jesus Faith your soaked!"
"Yeah tell me something I don't know..."
The light turns green and Bosco pulls away while I lean over and wring my hair out onto the floor of the car.. Bosco just sits there and laughs at me
"You cold? I can turn on the heat if you want.."
"Nah Boz I'm fine.. its warm outside I don't mind being wet like this.. but I am not cold.."
We pull up to the house and I get out.. I watch Bosco run for the door trying to keep dry.. but as for me I don't care I'm already wet.. I cant get much wetter than this.. I head towards the house in the pouring rain. Bosco is waiting for me by the front desk.. Swersky looks up at me and shakes his head at me..
"Make sure your dry by roll Faith..."
"Yeah Boss.. sure" I walk past him with Bosco as we make our way to the locker room.. Bosco reaches into his locker and hands me a towel
"Don't worry its clean... do you have a spare uniform?"
I nod and take out the uniform I left in my locker last night.. it was still clean besides I could always get Bosco to drive by my place so I could change into a new one but for now this will do. I dry out my hair with Bosco's towel and I start peeling my wet clothes off of me.. I look up for a moment and I see that Bosco's already changed and his eyes are glued to me... I feel a blush rise to my cheeks.. as I hurry to change into some dryer clothes..
"Allright guys Eyes and Ears out there"
We all filed out of the roll room and I looked at Bosco..
"You get the radios and I'll get the car?"
He nods at me and heads of to Radio dispatch and I head off to get the car.. I am surprised that he let me get the car.. usually he likes to get it because that means he gets to drive the first ½ of the tour.. I get the keys to the car and wait for Bosco by the door.
"Is he keeping you waiting again Faith?"
I turn my head and laugh when I see its Sully who said that to me..
"Yeah Sul he likes doin that sometimes"
He squeezes me on the shoulder as he passes me and I high five Ty as he walks by me.. we have done this every shift since I came back from being shot. Sully and Ty started working closer to where we were and we slowly started becoming a tag team.. we would get them running and they would catch them.. and vice versa.
Bosco walks up to me and hands me a radio, I take it from him and offer him the keys to the RMP
"Nah you drive first"
"You feelin allright? You never wanna drive second...."
He nods and we run out to the RMP parked out front in the pouring rain.. forget tossing it.. we'll find some sheltered parking somewhere to toss it.. but right now I am in dry clothes and I plan on staying that way.. Bosco gets in the passenger side and I hop into the drivers side as I start the car and put it into gear.
"Thanks for the ride Bos.. that was good of ya"
He turns all red as I watched him blush a bit.. I love it when his ears turn pink like they just did.. He just nods and we drive on.. I have a feeling that this shift is going to be rather quiet.. just out of habit I drive to our hiding spot underneath the bridge.. this is our bridge.. the one where we shared many, many stories and confessed many things to each other.. I love this bridge I have some happy memories here all of them with Bosco...
I put the car into park and turn off the engine.. I sit back and listen to the rain hit the top of the RMP.. I don't know why but I find it soothing just sitting here listening to the rain I look over at Bosco and he has his eyes closed...
"Boz.."
"Yeah Faith..."
I take out the white envelope and hand it to him.. I know what's inside it.. Divorce papers that I had drawn up last week.. I went to Fred the next day and he signed them with almost no hesitation.. we met in the same diner where he told me that he had cheated on me.. I made a point to sit at the same damn table.. just to drive my point home.. that I was serious.. he drove the final nail into the coffin that was our marriage.. Bosco takes the envelope from me and opens it.. I watch his eyes widen as he reads the words on the paper... his mouth drops when he sees that they are signed by both of us and notarized.
"Faith.. is this what I think..."
I nod slowly.. trying to keep the tears from spilling over my eyes.. although he cheated on me.. he was still my husband.. we shared so much together.. I had his kids... he still meant something to me.. I just cant be with him any longer.. I don't trust him anymore.. I cant be in a relationship like that.. not now.. not ever..
"When does it become official?"
"when I hand those papers to a Judge.."
The tears spill over my eyes and I wipe them away quickly.. I cant let Bosco see me cryin like this..
"Oh Faith" too late.. he saw a stray tear fall onto my cheek and run down my face to drip onto my shirt... I sniffle and I feel his arms snake around my waist, drawing me into his embrace.. I go willingly and rest my head on his shoulder.. he turns his head to snuggle into mine as I hang onto him for support.. he has always been there for me
"Bosco.. its really over.. I feel like such a failure.. my marriage failed..." I sob into his shoulder..
Bosco rocks me and tries to soothe me "Faith he was the one who cheated on you... you tried to make this marriage work for 12 years.. at least the 12 that I have been your partner for...you did your best to make it work.. I saw you put up with things I would have never stood for... I saw you work though his alcoholism... I saw you work though your differences.. Faith this isn't your fault.. if he cant handle you being who you are then he wasn't the one for you in the first place..."
I drew comfort from Bosco's words, taking solace in what I knew was true.. I still feel like I failed.. even though Bosco's words of comfort helped me to see that what happened was inevitable..
"55 David respond to a report of a break in at 128 west 29th"
Damnit just when I get comfortable too.. I reach over and grab my radio
"55 David responding 128 west 29th"
Bosco looks at me and smiles as I start the car and we pull away...
Several hours later
I look at the clock.. its 10:30... and I am buried in a mound of paperwork... Cruz that bitch I'm gonna kill her for piling on this paperwork... Bosco and I collared one guy in connection with that break-in that we responded to earlier and it turns out that he was someone who that bitch thought was involved with her latest obsession.. so she decided to question him.. and when he didn't respond the bitch broke his nose by slamming him into the lockup doors... so now I Bosco and I are sitting here working out the paperwork that we had to fill out because of her "Questioning techniques" we got one of the other units to take him to Mercy while we stayed here filling out incident report after incident report...
Bosco throws down his pen and looks at me with tired written all over his face...
"Faith is almost quittin time.. how ya doin there?"
"I'll be here a while yet Boz.. I have two more forms to fill out.."
Bosco reaches across to my desk and pinches one of the forms and starts filling it out
"well now you have one less to do"
I smile and double back on to working on the form. The next time I look at the clock it is 11:30 Bosco and I should have been long gone by now.. I finish the form that I had been working on and look over at Bosco.. he has his head in his hands and he's snoring softly.. I laughed softly to myself at seeing Bosco fast asleep on his desk.. I get up and walk around right behind him.. for some stupid reason I cant explain I reach around him and let my fingers trail across his neck.. he inhales sharply and with a moan nuzzles his neck closer to my hand and then turns around to look at me...
"I knew it had to be you.... You're the only one who has soft hands"
I cant help but smile at his comment. I lean my head on top of his and breath in the scent of his hair.. I love his scent.. it comforts me when I think that I am all alone..
"You ready to blow this popsicle stand?"
He looks back at me and smiles as he gets up from the desk
"You better believe it.. it stopped raining.. do you want a ride home?"
I was going to walk but I'm just too damn tired to even bother walking out the front door let alone the 10 blocks to my empty apartment.. I just nod my head and Bosco laughs
"I thought you would say that.. come on lets get outta here.. I don't wanna see another form for the rest of the week.. and its only Tuesday"
Bosco and I get changed as fast as possible to avoid being asked to stay for a double.. I would work one but I just don't have the energy tonight.. I am too emotionally exhausted.. My clothes are still a little damp as I take them off the hanger.. but they'll do I pull my jeans back on and reach over to put my shoes on and I notice that Bosco has his eyes glued to me again... I look back at him, making sure that I catch him right in the eyes.. I make sure he knows that I know hes lookin at me... Bosco turns about 50 shades of red and looks away and I smile..
Bosco drops me off infront of my apartment, I look over and using my hand I turn his face to me
"what?"
"Wanna come up for a drink or somethin?"
Bosco nods his head and follows me upstairs.. I open the door to my apartment and flick on the light, I hear Bosco's shocked gasp behind me.. I forgot that he hadn't been here since Fred left with the kids.. The couch was gone.. Fred came back and got that.. so was the Lay-Z-Boy... I let him have the bedroom set.. I didn't want it anyhow.. now knowing that there was a possibility of someone else sleeping between the sheets on it.. I have been sleeping in the kids beds.. its funny he left them... I guess he wanted to leave me a constant reminder of what he took from me... at least I have some comfort at night when I sleep knowing that I am close to them... if they arnt here at least I can be nearer to them in my dreams..
"Faith.. he took everything.. but he didn't take the T.V.. I would have thought he would have taken that too.."
I shook my head.. ."I wouldn't let him have it.. It was my paycheck that paid for it and I told him that... so he left it"
I walk into the kitchen and grab a beer for Bosco and a bottle of water for myself.. I don't feel much like drinkin.. growing up with alcoholism around you.. you are put off by it sometimes.. sure I have the occasional drink while we are at Haggerty's with the guys but it is only just the one that I have.. Bosco takes the beer from my hand and sits on one of the kitchen chairs..
"Faith if you need anywhere to stay... my door is always open for you..."
I smile at him.. it was soo sweet of him to offer that I don't know what to say.. he has a sincere look on his face as he says it to me.. I cant help but blush..
"Where will you sleep... you only have the one bed there..."
"I'll take the couch.. don't worry about me Faith.. as long as your allright I don't care what happens to me"
"Thanks Boz... for everythin..."
He stands up and takes me into his arms and holds me... normally I would have been scared out of my wits to be here in my kitchen in Bosco's arms... Waiting for Fred to come home and find us here like this.. but this time he isn't coming home.. and standing here in Bosco's arms I come to realize that he has been here for me all along.. though it all.. though everything that Fred has put me though.. everything that happened with the kids... he has been here for me though it all... and the words that he said to me earlier ring in my ears..." Faith this isn't your fault.. if he cant handle you being who you are then he wasn't the one for you in the first place..." And then it hits me like a ton of bricks.. I haven't lost anything but a deadweight.. Fred was holding me down.. he was holding me back from realizing my true feelings.. I was in the arms of the man I loved.. truly loved... I pull away from him and place my hands on the sides of his face..
"Bosco...."
He looks at me in the eyes and I send all my love and thanks into that one look
"Yeah Faith?"
"I love you..."
I said it... I came out and confessed what I had known and repressed for all these years.. Bosco's eyes grow wide and he looks back at me in disbelief but he doesn't let me go he just stands there.. and then without warning he leans into my face and I feel the soft brush of his lips over mine as he kisses me... I don't know how long we stood like that for but my mind reels from the kiss that we share... finally he pulls away and whispers in my ear
"I love you too Faith.. more than you could ever imagaine"
he loves me back.. thank the gods above he loves me back.. and for the first time I know that I am going to be allright.