Disclaimer: If you are interested in a story with a happy ending, you've found the right fic. In this tale, there is not only a happy ending; there is an interesting beginning, and I am pleased to inform you that many familiar characters share their points of view, adding colour and humour to the central storyline. Those readers who wish the sardonic Potions Master to fall madly in love and quote sonnets by the third chapter should turn back, but intrepid, discerning persons who appreciate that romance is a series of stimulating events that lead to love should read on. I look forward to reading the reviews of the perceptive people who realize that Severus Snape is sexy, and worthy of true love. I am not Rowling, or even Snicket, whose style (and sometimes words) I have borrowed for this disclaimer, but I am writer who appreciates readers who read AU, and hopes that each reader finds this story, and Snape, Simply Irresistible.

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In a dark corner of the Three Broomsticks, a solitary figure sat alone at a table for two. His countenance was so intimidating that any patron who glanced at him hurriedly looked away.

"Here y'go, Professor."

Severus Snape stared impassively at the mug of tea Madam Rosmerta plunked down on his table. "I ordered firewhisky."

The brassy haired proprietor smiled coolly. "You've had enough. It's time to drink my special tea and stagger on back to school."

He straightened the shoulders that had formerly hunched over his empty glass. "I never stagger."

"Bully for you, but there's a first time for everything. I've run this pub longer than you've been drinking, and when I say you've had enough, you have. Drink up."

Snidely demurring to her many years of experience, Severus drank his tea in four large gulps. The cheeky woman grabbed his mug when he was finished. Peering at the leaves left in the bottom, Rosmerta tipped the mug so that he could look inside.

"A guitar. My, my. New romance is on your horizon." Her knuckles rapped sharply on the wooden table. "I'll be knocking on wood everyday for your lady. She'll need it."

His look of disgust earned a grin from the curvy woman before she sashayed back to the bar. Severus picked up the mug and inspected the leaves meticulously. Bollocks. It really was a bloody guitar. He drew upon his formidable will to rise to his feet and stroll out the door without staggering once.

As he trudged back to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Severus wondered what new indignities he would have to endure during the coming school year. He grimaced at the thought of hovering over Longbottom to make sure that he didn't wreak havoc through his considerable ineptitude. His mood soured further at the prospect of another year with a know-it-all like Granger and The-Boy-Who-Lived-To-Be-A-Pain-In-The-Arse.

On the front steps to the school, he paused to gaze indifferently up into the night. A star streaked a fiery path across the black sky. Dark laughter filled the air. Mocking himself and the Cosmos, he drawled, "Am I supposed to make a wish on a falling star? Very well. If I am to suffer a bloody romance, I wish that the fortunate woman enjoy potions, dungeons, and a malevolent bat like me."

Another star fell the moment he finished speaking. Unnerved, Severus hurried inside to his quarters, where he immediately fell across his bed in a drunken stupor.

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In the back of a London nightclub, a popular recording artist presided over the party celebrating the end of his European tour. Every private room had been booked. The smiling blond man moved easily from room to room, group to group, shaking hands, kissing cheeks, and charming everyone.

The woman watching the pop star work the crowd smiled wryly. She recognized Glamour when she saw it. He used it to command attention and admiration, but Glamour by itself wasn't enough to indict on Misuse of Magic, and travelling and working as a backing vocalist to the singer hadn't given her anything incriminating to report to the Ministry of Magic.

She was relieved. He was nice when he wasn't trying to sweet-talk her into bed. She would miss him, but not too much. It was time to move on. In a few moments, she would say her goodbyes, falsely promise to keep in touch, and disappear. The wizard posing as a Muggle would return home, never knowing that he had been under investigation.

"You were awesome tonight, Lora!"

'Lora' turned to smile at the pop star's bubbly blonde girlfriend. The American actor was genuinely friendly. Probably because she knew the other woman hadn't slept with her boyfriend.

"Thanks, Cameron. Are you looking forward to getting back to LA?"

"Don't remind me. I've got three premiers, six interviews, and a dozen lunches to do. Are you sure you don't want to come with?"

"No thanks."

"Couldn't get our Lora to change her mind?"

"Justin!"

Cameron's wide smile brought an answering grin to the face of the man who had asked the question. He gave the woman a long, lingering kiss. "I need to borrow our girl for a minute, baby. The boys want to say goodbye."

"Sure. Bye, Lora. If you change your mind, California's only a plane ride away."

Justin slipped his arm around Lora's waist. He led her toward the last room and opened the door. "You almost got away with it, little spy." He tightened his grip and propelled her forward. "A fan of mine sent me a copy of the Ministry report. Thanks for giving me the green light, but I feel like a fool for letting you in, and you're the one that's going to pay."

Inside the room, scantily clad girls stood around. They glared at her. Turning around to face the man and wishing she had her wand, Lora prepared to use her own brand of magic. Before she could do more than take a breath, however, the world went black.

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The feminine spirit glowed softly as it hovered near the ceiling. The spirit watched, with a curious detachment, women encircling a body on the floor below.

Suddenly, a fairylike being in black robes appeared before the spirit. She shook her tiny fist. "What the bloody hell are you doing up here? That's your body on the floor! Go back down there and hex those Muggles into next week, then Disapparate before they kick the ability out of your head!"

Before the spirit could react, another fairylike being in white robes materialised. "Hexing Muggles and Apparating around them is strictly against Ministry regulations. Besides," she said regretfully, "she didn't bring her wand to the party tonight." The white-robed figure peered at the body on the floor. "Do you think that she's in any condition to Apparate? There is the danger of Splinching."

Stricken to silence, the trio turned their attention to the scene unfolding below.

One of the Muggles nudged the body with her shoe before looking anxiously at the other women. "She's not moving." The Muggle covered her mouth in horror. "She's not dead, is she?"

"What are you girls babbling about?" Justin stood in the doorway. Gone was the façade of the easy-going musician who had always given a smile and more to his affectionately termed 'Band-Aids'. The blue eyes that captivated fans were now cold and hard. He still spoke softly, but now his words contained menace. "I asked you girls to teach Lora a lesson, not kill her." He pointed his wand. "Crucio!"

One by one, the women fell to the floor, writhing and screaming.

"Just a few more moments, girls. Of course, I'll have to put a Memory Charm on you. Can't have this getting back to the Ministry, can I?"

The black-robed sprite watching from above whispered fiercely, "Roger the regulations! That wizard just used an Unforgivable Curse! What do you think he's going to do when he discovers Lora isn't dead? Forget Splinching. She has to Disapparate now!"

The white-robed sprite nodded. "You have much more to do before your life's journey is over," she told the spirit.

The spirit rushed towards the body on the floor, passing through those recovering from the curse and the Memory Charm.

Lora gasped for breath and Disapparated.

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A/N: In this chapter, any character's resemblance to a certain pop star is purely coincidental... according to my lawyer.

August 5, 2011- This was my very first fan fiction story, and as a new writer, while my imagination and ear for dialogue was stellar :D, formatting errors abounded, and I never thought to use UK spelling. Thankfully, I've learned a lot about the craft of writing since July of '04 when this first started posting. (More Than a Feeling, my post-HBP Snape/OC romance won the 07 Quicksilver Quill award for Best Marauder Era Fiction on Mugglenet). It's been a case of so many stories to write, so little time to go back and edit a completed fic, but I'm determined to polish the story, and I've already replaced the first 18 chapters with edited ones. :)