A/N: This fic is not meant to be in character or stick remotely to the general plot of Harry Potter. It is merely a cutesy story with an OOC Severus, plus some mild slash between my fav. pairing. PS: it's also not supposed to have amazing dialogue or description, just a bit of humour...hopefully.
Slash dislikers, Ye have been warned, you don't like it, don't put yourself through the torture. Everyone else enjoy... (Not MPREG)
It's a Girl.
Proff Snape sat impatiently at the Head Table. He tapped his fingers methodically, gaining a glare from the brown-haired werewolf to his right.
Remus leaned towards him and whispered, "Calm down Sev, it'll be here soon enough."
Severus glared half-heartedly at his lover, and received an eye roll in return.
The morning post flew through the large windows of the Great Hall, Severus sat up eagerly, but none of them made their way towards him.
Just as he was about to get up and go to the dungeon's to sulk. A large white stork carrying a bright pink piece of parchment landed in front of him. Severus shook with glee as the stork extended his beak and Severus snatched the parchment.
The whole hall had turned towards the ill-tempered potion's master when the stork had flown towards him. Severus opened the piece of parchment and much to everyone's surprise he smiled. Not a sadistic smile, or an evil smile, but a genuinely happy smile. Several students fainted, including the second youngest of the Weasley clan. The majority of the hall sat with their mouths hanging open.
The purebloods and half-bloods had quickly filled the others in on the importance of a stork. Storks in the olden days had carried news of babies and sometimes the babies' themselves to awaiting families, thus the muggle story was created. Storks were sometimes still used for such announcements.
Severus gathered the precious parchment to him and turned to Remus and gave him a sound kiss. Ron had regained consciousness but fainted again upon seeing this act of affection. The majority of the Gryffindor and Slytherin house followed Ron's example.
Remus' cheeks turned slightly red as Severus broke the kiss and stood to go to his dungeons. Remus decided his food deserved the entirety of his concentration, thus avoiding the stunned faces of Ginny and Harry.
Snape looked out over the hall and simply said, "It's a girl." He walked out without further comment oblivious to the scene he had created.
Dumbledore sitting on the right of Remus smiled and whispered his congratulations.
Remus rolled his eyes again, "Yah...great."
"B-b-b-b-u...tt...Sn-ape...k-id..." Ron fainted for a third time. Hermione and Harry hefted him up and carried him towards the Gryffindor common room.
"Well Hermione...that was an...interesting morning." Harry said, trying to be braver about the matter than Ron.
"Understatement of the year." Hermione grunted, "At least now Remus and Snape can be open about their relationship since Snape seemed to have let it out of the bag."
Harry dropped Ron in surprise. Hermione turned to give him a piece of her mind, for leaving all the Ron lifting to her, but she found a shell shocked Harry staring back.
"Harry?" Hermione questioned hesitantly, "You didn't know, did you?"
Harry, wide-eyed, shook his head. "Y..you...mean...that...that...THING...in the hall...Sna-pe...and...Re-mus?" Harry collapsed in a heap next to Hermione.
She sighed in exasperation, "Apparently Snape kissing Remus couldn't bring him to the same conclusion, idiot." She said to no one in particular, and gave up trying to lift Ron on her own. She pulled out her wand and decided the "no magic in the hallways" rule could be broken this one time.
Remus Lupin cautiously entered Severus' rooms, well pretty much their rooms now. Hopefully Severus had calmed down from his early excited state. Frankly a Severus that cheery disturbed Remus greatly.
"Severus," he called tentatively.
He sighed in relief when there was no response. He snuck quietly through the rooms searching for his books. He was hoping to be in and out without encountering Severus. He was subbing for the new DADA for the next couple days and he needed to make up his lesson plans. He was several feet away from the door, close to freedom when it swung open showing a very proud Severus Snape.
"REMUS!" He shouted, "We're gaining a new member."
Remus shook his head at the dangerously happy man.
"Don't you think I'm aware of that?" Remus said rather harshly and backed away from the unSnapelike Snape.
Severus advanced on him, with a strange gleam in his eye.
Remus backed further away, "Not now Severus, I have to plan my..." That's all he got out.
Needless to say Remus' classes went unplanned.
The next day, Severus Snape was seen carrying a pink bundle, smiling as foolishly as he had been the day before. The aftermath of yesterday's events and now this sight with the obvious conclusions drawn, caused near panic among many of the students. Many theories about the kind of child flew around the school, it was concluded that it was a half-demon spawn, the result of Snape sleeping with a Dementor...or something of that sort.
Hermione had finally gotten off Ron/Harry duty, neither had recovered yet. She thought they were both being foolish and took this opportunity to congratulate the "happy couple".
She tentatively knocked on Snape's door, suddenly not too sure of what she was doing.
"Professors?" She questioned.
The door finally opened to a VERY tired and ruffled, Remus Lupin, "Hello Hermione."
"Oh my goodness, you like awful Remus." Hermione said in surprise.
Remus gave a weak smile," Yes, that tends to happen."
Hermione patted his arm, "So where is the...you know." She was dealing but saying it out loud was completely different.
Remus Lupin rolled his eyes, "You mean Ginger?"
Hermione smiled, "I suppose yes, Ginger, is it?" Secretly she wasn't sure about Ginger for a child's name, but then again she'd heard worse, I mean Draco? What was that all about? It's not like the boy looked like a bloody dragon, though he did seem to have a temper like one.
"Come in. Severus is giving her a bath." Hermione was surprised at the contempt in his voice. Was Ginger not their child?
Remus saw Hermione's surprised look, "I don't understand the big deal. Bloody hell, we only adopted a puppy!"
"Puppy???" Hermione's eyes went wide.
She stared as snarky potion's master carried out a small bull dog.
"Yes, it seems Severus has a certain affinity for dogs."
A/N: I'd like to state right now that I think Draco is a wicked name, I just thought it would be amusing. Anyway this is a ONE-SHOT silly fic, but I hoped you enjoyed anyway.