Book One: The Straw That Broke The Pervert's Back

Chapter Ten: Tropical Island Romance! Kind Of… Okay, Sort Of… Well, Not Really… (Pt3: Romantic Beach Dinner)

By: Sci-Fi Raptor

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Three chapters length to make up for the delay…

I'm not really sure what happened, but ff net had the old version of this chapter posted for some reason, so I decided to put up the correct version. I'll try and update soon too, since I've been so lax this summer.

(-O-)

They were everywhere! Left, right, back, front; they had every corner covered. Even if they could fly, there was no escape because they were even hovering above, spinning menacingly. Motoko was terrified. There was no way that she could beat their staggering numbers. Kitsune, Mutsumi and the minors were back to back with her, so they had the best tactical position they could manage in the open. Motoko's katana was out and she slashed wildly into the air, coherent thoughts long since gone.

"Motoko-chan," Mutsumi said. "I think that you're scaring them."

She has no understanding of our situation! Motoko thought. They aren't afraid; they're here to massacre us!

"They look so tasty…" Su drooled, eyes spiraling.

"Stay back! Back you t-t-tur—TURTLES!" she screamed, lashing out with a 'Rock Splitting Sword.'

This is getting very annoying… Kitsune thought, sweat dropping.

(Three hours ago)

"YOU DIDN'T BRING THE KEITARO RADAR!" Sarah yelled, seriously pissed off.

"Oops…" Su said, but suddenly remembered something. "I still have the Banana Radar!" she said happily and ran to the deck. She came back down a dew minutes later with a gloomy, tear-streaked face. "There's no bananas!" she said and cried. Shinobu held her to comfort her in her time of need. Sarah just deadpanned, thinking, This is all just a dream… a horrible, horrible dream…

"Well, we best better get going, cause we ain't gon find Keitaro standin' here all day," Kitsune said, getting off of her feet.

"Yeah," Shinobu agreed, "If we don't hurry, Sempai's not gonna get into Tokyo U again!" Everyone filed into the Mecha-Tama ender the blazing desert sun and waited with anticipation to leave the wasteland Su had landed in the middle of for some reason.

…

"Su, what's taking so long? We're shriveling up here!" Sarah said, hand covering her face to block out the evil sun's rays. Her brow was soaked with sweat even though they had been exposed for only five minutes.

"Um… we're out of Sake…" Su said, looking at them with sad puppy eyes.

"YOU HAVE SAKE!" Kitsune shrieked wistfully. "WHERE? WHERE? GIMME! GIMME! GIMME!"

"If I recall correctly, Su's monstrosity is fueled by alcohol…" Motoko said coolly. Kitsune stopped where she stood and had a crazed look on her face.

"What are you talking about, Captain Morgan? There's a bottle of your finest right in front of me!" Kitsune said and grabbed Motoko's neck, trying to pop her 'cork' off.

"Ahh! Kitsune-sempai! That's Motoko!" Shinobu cried and tried to get her off the girl, who for reason had a frozen expression on her face. The girls forced Kitsune off of the younger and comforted her when she had her wits about her. But the interlude ended abruptly with the sound of a katana being unsheathed.

"Die vile creatures!" shrieked and released a 'Rock Splitting Sword.' The girls shifted their gazes to where Motoko had struck and saw that Tama-chan had been intercepted by Motoko's attack and was caught by a group of angry looking turtles.

"Mew…" they said with low, angry voices. Their burning red eyes focused on the large metallic turtle that had dealt defeat to their master with a cheap attack.

"Mew!" they said in unison and went into their shells. They started spinning at amazing speeds and hovered into the air. They started flinging themselves at the Mecha-Tama and ripped chunks off at a time from the impacts.

"Abandon ship!" Su said and jumped off with the grace of a ballerina. Everyone else followed suit, though with less grace. The flying land turtles decimated the Mecha-tama into slag within minutes as the girls watched helplessly nearby.

"Darn… I knew I shoulda paid the ten dollar insurance fee to the rental company…" Su said, smacking herself.

"You didn't build that yourself?" Shinobu piped in.

"Naw… if I'd built it, it'd use bananas for fuel, not Sake," she replied. Shinobu pretended she never asked the question, not wanting to know where Su had acquired the Mecha.

"Ara, Ara… we should get out of here while they're distracted," Mutsumi said. The girls agreed and quietly left the scene. Unfortunately, the land-turtles had finished their assault and saw the girls sneaking away.

"Mew…" a turtle said. (What are those strange bipeds?)

"Mew…" another answered. (Are they not the creatures that attacked the Great One earlier?)

"MEW!" yet another one answered, (Indeed! It is they!) and they all made chase.

(Where we first met our heroines this chapter)

They were glaring at them and even Mutsumi was starting to worry about their intentions. They receded into their shells again and started spinning quickly, but then burrowed underground. Hoping that they could use this chance, the girls ran as quickly as they could.

"I wonder what those turtles are up to?" Shinobu mused.

"Dun' matter! Just keep runnin'!" Kitsune ordered.

BOOM!

The girls ran all out after the explosion and ran even faster when they realized that they were being attacked by the turtles' desert power, 'Sandy Sand Attack!' (Which Mutsumi conveniently translated for them). Large pillars of sand erupted all around them, shredding their clothing and robbing them of the little moisture they still retained. Dehydration caused by the unforgiving desert sun didn't take long to overcome them and they all collapsed in the burning sand.

(O)

The sound of running water could be heard all around. She felt wetness about her body and got up with a jolt. Kitsune opened her eyes to find all of the girls playing in a stream created by a large foaming waterfall, all wearing vegetative bikinis.

Vegetative bikinis? She thought. Strangely, she herself was wearing one of the awkward attire, thought she did fill it in quite nicely.

"Are we in heaven?" she asked when she could speak. There was no way that they could have survived the unmerciful attack by the turtles.

"More like h-h-hell!" Motoko stuttered and slapped one of the land-turtles away from snacking on her hastily fabricated 'garments.'

"What's going on!" Kitsune asked when she realized that they were in an oasis of sorts and that their pursuers were now playing tag in the stream with the minors among the six.

"Tama-chan was kind enough to convince her new friends that we were also friends and they brought us to their secret desert oasis…" Mutsumi said, feeding a smiling Tama perched on her shoulder some small fruit.

"Great…" Kitsune said. They were supposed to be looking for someone gone MIA, not become MIA. Though technically, we were just looking for the brats… "So, what do we do now?"

"For now, we should just try and relax while the sun is still up. We can't really do anything till nighfall," Mutsumi said and went to take a dip into the stream.

"Ah, that makes sense," Kitsune said to herself, thinking clearly. Then her head went down. I miss sake…

(O)

"Why are we driving over this arid desert again?" Naru asked her mentor.

"Because the missing link to the ancient turtle civilization just might be in the location described in the tablet you found," Seta said. "You're becoming quite the archeologist. You might even be better that my part timer!"

"Keitaro?" she asked. Oh yeah… I'm supposed to be looking for him. But where to look?

"Um… why is Nyamo coming with us? Isn't she a bit young?"

"My grandfather went out in search of this place and I think he might still be there," she answered. Seta had told Naru her story before, and she could only hope that the poor girl wouldn't be hit too hard when she found out that her grandfather was long gone. Nyamo went back to petting her large pet turtle that wouldn't seem to leave her side.

Naru looked out her window and was surprised to see what looked like the more prominent building of Todia grow larger and closer. "Seta! Go there!" she said and turned the wheel sharply.

"Ah! Thank you so much Naru! I knew I was going the wrong direction when we passed the skeleton mound a few minutes ago…"

"You didn't know where we were going all this time?" Naru said unemotionally.

"I do now!" he said, avoiding the question somewhat.

Why did I ever like this guy? She asked herself, looking out the window dejectedly. I don't care, I have to worry Keitaro. And if I know him, he's most likely over there, crying over how he wished he were at the real Todai… Maybe if I didn't push him so hard, he wouldn't have run away like that. Or maybe… Naru continued with the 'what ifs' until they arrived before the pillar that resembled Todai's most prominent building.

"Hey, I think I see natives!" Seta exclaimed. He honked his horn and stuck his head out the driver-side window and said, "Hello natives! Do you know where the ruins to the ancient turtle civilization are?"

Naru had already left the van, followed by Nyamo and her pet and greeted the 'natives.'

"Kitsune, Motoko, Mutsumi, Shinobu, Su, Sarah! What are you guys doing here?"

"It all really comes down to us wanting to tell ya'll that you and Keitaro have made it into Todai!" Kitsune answered, hugging her best friend of many years. "Congratulations!"

"Really? YES!" Naru said, overjoyed and the two jumped up and down in unison, holding hands, silly smiles plastered over their faces.

"I'm so happy for you, Naru-sempai…" Shinobu said, wiping a tear.

"Yahoo!" Su said, jumping like crazy. The rest of the girls gave their own congratulations.

"Naru! Great job with making first contact!" Seta said, finally catching up. "I can't believe that the natives here speak Japanese! They look really familiar too, especially the little blonde haired one…"

The 'little blonde haired one,' a.k.a. Sarah, ran up to him and kicked him in the shin. When he bent down in pain, she grabbed onto his neck and yelled, "It's me, papa!" in an overjoyed voice.

"Sarah," he said, finally recognizing his charge. "How nice to see you! Since when were you a native of Pararakerusu?"

Everyone but Sarah largely ignored him from that point on.

"So, where's Kei- er… Urashima?" Motoko asked, coming out of her reverie. Everyone looked at Naru expectantly, but she gave a grave look.

"We've looked all over, but we couldn't find him. I thought that this was the last place he could be…" Naru said, tear stricken.

"Everyone stayed quiet, sure that their adventure had finally come to a close.

And I was so looking forward to getting some real dirt between the two lovebirds, Kitsune thought disappointedly.

"Hey look at this!" Seta said. He was crouched near a hiding place that had a good view of the girls' bathing area, but had two lines of blood shooting out. Also, there was a fresh trail leading away from there.

"Hmmm… two streaks of blood coming from a hiding place that overlooked our bathing area, and a fresh path leading away from it?" Kitsune mused. "Does that remind anyone else of a certain pervert?" she asked with a toothy grin.

"Keitaro!" Naru said enthusiastically and the gang followed the track.

"At least you're good for something, papa!" Sarah said from her perch on Seta's shoulders. Tama fluttered this way and that as Nyamo's pet (I dunno his name, so I'll call him Big Tama) tried to kiss it. The other turtles seemed to be laughing, in a turtle sort of way…

The path snaked along lazily and dragged on and on. It was needless to say that the group was quickly bored and started getting easily agitated in the hot, humid tropical environment.

"Bananas…" Su whimpered randomly. Shinobu and Nyamo (who had already gotten over their uncanny semblance) flanked her and did their best to comfort their grief-stricken friend.

"Oof!" someone groaned from the jungle.

"Kyaa!" Naru screamed when she realized that the person who had 'Oofed' had fallen off of a tree and landed right next to her.

"Die vermin," Motoko screamed to no apparent reason and lashed out at the intruder with an 'Evil Cutting Blade.' Everything went silent, even the forest, as the dust settled. Moments later, the dust cleared and everyone was surprised to find that the intruder was…

"Mario?" Naru and Nyamo said in unison. The forest went back into an explosion of noise, as if to accentuate the shock.

"Oy… mi amore…" Mario said in a daze.

"Mario?" Seta asked again, moving to help the brute up.

Shing

"Who is this vile creature who dared to defile innocent Naru-sempai?" Motoko said, appearing out of nowhere with her blade against Mario's neck.

"Motoko-chan," Seta said, punching a nearby tree and magically pulling out a bokken from its fragments. "Is that any way to treat a friend?"

"Is that a challenge?" replied in a defensive stance, her own bokken magically in hand, with her blade sheathed.

"Olay!" Seta said, jumping into the sky.

"Hiya!" Motoko yelled, making chase. The air suddenly started pulsing with the shockwaves resounding from the incredibly powerful impacts cause by their bokkens slashing into the other's.

"Hello, tall dark and handsome…" Kitsune said, slowly making her way to the newcomer.

"Mario, what happened to you? What are you doing here?" Naru asked, helping him to his feet with Nyamo's help.

"I don't really know…" he said, nervously looking this way and that like he was looking for something. "I was eating some sautéed mushrooms back in the camp, when all of a sudden, I heard this angry voice say 'All work and no play make Author mad!' And here I am, falling down here for no apparent reason…"

"Maybe it was a ghost?" Mutsumi conjectured. Su suddenly started bouncing around and exclaimed, "Never fear, Su's Ghost Buster Gear is here!" She suddenly donned on a high-tech looking outfit that included a green visor, a gun twice the size of her body and a cylinder of some sort strapped to her back which had a tube of some sort coming out that was being fed by the back of the gun.

"Pain hurts…" Mario grumbled just as Su fired a yellow arc at him.

K-k-crackkk!

Static residue seemed to build around the muzzle as everyone turned to look at the carnage. Surprisingly, the damage was light; only Mario was hit. He looked barbequed and coughed out some smoke just before he collapsed.

"Hehe… forgot to discharge it," Su giggled. "But now it's ready!" and aimed again at Mario's soon to be corpse.

"No!" everyone said and wrestled the WMD from her.

"Didn't anyone notice that it would be physically impossible for her to have had all of that?" said Sarah. "It's at least twice her weight!"

"Banana!" Su said excitedly and jumped out of her gear. She landed on a tree that she conveniently noticed before Sarah could insinuate any kind of author related conspiracy…

"I think everyone would be content with her being distracted…" Kitsune said, her hand on her head.

"Ara, Ara…" Mutsumi agreed.

SLAM!

Motoko landed… ungracefully (being liberal) followed by Seta pointing his bokken down at her.

"You need to work more on your guard, Motoko! Your guard!"

"How could I lose…" Motoko said, ashamed.

"Auu…" Shinobu whimpered quietly. "Shouldn't we start looking for Sempai?" she said with a strange single-mindedness.

"Yeah…" Naru said. "This place is starting to creep me out… So many weird things are happening here…"

"Did someone call for me?" Su shouted from her perch on the banana tree.

"We're heading out!" Kitsune shouted back, after Mario was revived by some of Seta's famous Shiatsu techniques.

"Wee!" Su shrilled merrily, gliding to the ground with a few bunches of bananas strapped to her back. The group hadn't traveled ten feet when something felt wrong…

"Something feels wrong…" Motoko said, katana in hand, effectively halting the group. It felt like how she felt that time before Kitsune had gotten her drunk and did unmentionable sins…

"You're just being paranoid," Kitsune said and continued walking. "See, nothing's—"

Click

Kitsune looked down and saw her foot on a hidden depression. Before she could complain about how she missed Sake, the ground below the group fell, with them along with it.

"Ah!" the majority screamed.

"Yahoo!" Seta and a monkey shouted.

"So hungry..." Mario complained.

"Oof!" Oofed everyone ad they landed on something squishy seconds later.

"Where are we?" Shinobu whimpered, grabbing hold of her seemingly identical twin.

"It looks like some kind of cavern," Seta said, turning on his hardhat's integrated light.

"Ewww!" Naru and Sarah groaned when they realized that the soft stuff that they had landed on was made of cobwebs and moss. Suddenly, the whole cavern lit up as torches along the walls seemed to spontaneously combust into life, taking everyone by surprise. Not one to be scared by such events, Seta moved towards a tunnel that came to view due to the illumination in a casual manner.

"This looks like the gothic style equivalent of the turtle civilization," Seta noted in wonder as the group followed him cautiously. "But I thought that era was a myth… That's when Demon Lord—"

"Ooo… what's this button do?" Su asked as she pushed a large red button that had a lot of scribbles written across it.

"No, Su! Not that button!" Seta said when he realized what it said on it.

Click

…

Nothing happened, so the group gave a collective sigh of relief, though it became apparent that they had sighed too soon.

Baboomsomething exploded and the whole place started shaking.

Screechhh…

Bam!

A cage suddenly fell from the ceiling, but only Mario managed to jump away in time. But that turned out to be the least of their worries, since the whole place started shifting. Before they knew it, the walls and ceiling had receded over 100 feet each and exposed that the floor was really a free floating island in a lake of smothering lava.

"Bwahahaa!" a deep, scary voice bellowed. Everyone looked up to see something else fall down from the ceiling to the other end of the platform. It must have weighed many tons, since it tipped over the whole island, causing the cage that the group was in to roll around dangerously.

"Foolish mortals! Who was stupid enough to release me, the King of Fire?" the thing said. Everyone looked at it and was shocked to find a…

"TURTLE!" Motoko screamed and whipped out a chi attack. Unfortunately, the cage they were in was magically hardened and the attack bounced around inside. Luckily, the cage also dampened the effect, so only Seta felt any serious affects, since he was the first person the attack bounced to. The creature stood on two legs, had spikes all over its body and shell, and had metal rings, collars and bracelets. It also had large, sharp teeth and was exhaling fire.

"Oh mi gosh!" Seta said, largely unaffected by Motoko's attack. "That's the Fire Demon Lord Bowser!"

"Bowser?" everyone questioned, wondering about the coincidence that they happened to meet what everyone thought was a Super Nintendo character. Everyone looked at Seta with confused faces.

"Didn't you know?" Seta said. "The whole Mario Brothers series was actually based on the ancient Turtle Civilization." Then, with an unemotional face and zombie-like voice, "Everything is based on the glorious ancient Turtle Civilization… All hail Fire Demon Lord Bowser…"

"Huh?" those in the case said to his sudden amendment.

"All hail Fire Demon Lord Bowser…" he repeated. Everyone stared in horror as his eyes turned red and he grew fangs. Before anyone knew what was happening, he lunged at the nearest girl and bit her… vegetative clothing off!

"Auu!" Shinobu cried, covering herself in teary embarrassment as Seta moved to the next girl.

"PERVERT!" Naru and Motoko screamed, lashing out automatically. But everyone went bug-eyed when the two reeled their bruised hands back. Seta turned away from a heavily breathing Kitsune with a toothy grin, completely untouched by their assault.

"Lord Bowser has commanded me to destroy all panties!" he said as he lunged at the two. Mario smacked himself to get back his wits, doing his best to avoid looking into the caged orgy.

"I think I have to beat this Demon King so that they don't castrate Seta for this later…" Mario said to himself. As if in afterthought, he added, "Maybe I should wait a few moments."

"Bwahahahahaa!" The turtle bellowed and exhaled fire in the direction of the cage.

"I'll just get him back later…" Mario sighed. He punched the cage away, getting it out of the way at the last second. It was so close to the fire, he thought he heard one of the occupants say something about their hair being on fire.

I have to beat him, but how? Mario thought. As if the heavens were listening to his wishes, unlike that time when he gambled his family's multibillion dollar company away while drunk in Vegas, something floated down and Mario grabbed it before Fire Demon Lord Bowser could turn it into ashes. He turned it around and found that it was a red hat, with a big M written on the front. Taped onto it was a letter Mario took off and read it. It said:

Dear Mario,

It's me, Luigi, your long lost twin brother. I don't have much time to write this, so I'll get to the point. Bowser killed me many years before you will receive this letter. Don't worry about how this letter came to you, all will be explained by the Toad stools. For now, you have to beat the Fire Demon Lord Bowser and stop him from resurrecting his army of undead couch potatoes. The only way for you to avenge me and defeat him is to wear this power hat. What you have to do is grab him by the tail and throw him to the four spiked bombs at the edge of the island. When you throw him at all four, he'll turn into stone and you can leave this dungeon. But be careful; every time a bomb goes off, a piece of the island will fall into the lake.

Good Luck,

Your Brother, Luigi

P.S. Stay away from the yellow mushrooms. The other ones are good for you.

Mario stared at the letter a little bit longer after finishing the last line.

"You have got to be kidding me!" he cried in dismay. Before he could say anything else, Fire Demon Lord Bowser jetted flames in his direction and burned the letter just as it was between his hands. Mario managed to jump back and away in time to avoid getting burned and stared down at his adversary after recovering.

Putting the hat firmly on his head, he said, "Let's go," in a dark voice.

"Ha!" he said, jumping once.

"Whohoo!" he said, jumping again, and higher than before.

"Yipee!" he said jumping a third time, higher than that last two times. Little wings magically appeared on the sides of the hat and he suddenly had the ability to glide. With a steely look on his face, he swooped down to give a crippling blow to the Demon, which jumped back in surprise at his newfound abilities.

(X Scene too graphic for this story's rating X)

Mario ripped off the dented bars of the cage holding the group within and helped Naru out first, since her big butt gave her some sort of buoyancy that put her at the top of the pile.

"Oof…" Naru said as she was lifted off of her butt. Mario pulled out each of the occupants one by one, sending some of them almost flying with his newfound strength.

"Why does my face feel like I was slapped over and over?" Seta said sitting on the floor and rubbing his face. One of the girls would have enlightened him over his predicament, but they knew he was an idiot and that they knew he was under Fire Demon Lord Bowser's control while inside the cage.

"Thanks for letting us out…" Naru said, doing her best to cover herself up. Mario had been considerate enough to shut his eyes during their evacuation and kept them so, but Naru will felt exposed.

"No problem," he said. Even after defeating a Fire Demon Lord, Mario still seemed to be able to take everything in stride. "You guys know how to get out of here," he continues, pointing to an exit at the other side of the now solid lava lake. "So, I'm gonna see where this thing will take me," he finished, mentioning the bright star-shaped object floating over the stone body of the defeated.

"Well, its been good meeting you. I hope you find Princess Peach…" Naru said uncertainly.

"It's okay, Naru. I'm not really sure if I believe it myself… Imagine me, the chosen one who will bring peace to the universe!" he said, laughing. "But I'm always felt that something was missing in my life, and I think that this is it. This is the pasta to my meatball! I don't know why, but I feel like I've been waiting for this all of my life, so I'm gonna take this chance," he continued with a face of determination on his face that is only seen once every e7 x 106 people.

Finding nothing better to say to the determined man, Naru said, "I hope you stay safe."

"Thanks Naru," he said with a serious face. "Besides, anything's safer that working with him!" he laughed, pointing to Seta, who had Sarah on his shoulders covering his eyes. He could tell it was him because Seta was complaining the loss of sight. Mario started his jumping sequence and grabbed the star on his final jump. The star shook violently and he disappeared, just like that!

The girls cautiously walked across the solidified lava lake and hustled outside. Once out, they took a breather and fabricated their vegetative clothing once again. With that matter settled, they continued onto their original path, careful to stay wary of other hidden traps. Fortunately, the only thing they encountered was some sort of aggressive giant beetle, which Su scared away because of the look of hunger on her face. "It's a delicacy," she explained after they caught up to her, finding her empty handed. "My people thought we hunted them to extinction because of daddy's feasts."

Going on…

They had been trekking for nearly half an hour until they broke the forest line… and almost fell to their deaths off of a sheer cliff! Seta recognized the hazard in time and managed to stop everyone from plunging to their doom. Actually, since Naru was at front, everyone bumped into her, causing her to fall over. Motoko's quick reflexes let her grab hold of Naru's hand in time, and the group helped pull her up. Since Naru was so heavy, she crashed into the group with a resounding Thump.

"Hey," Su said, from under the pile. Her head was sticking out from the bottom of the pile and had a very good view of the coastline that the cliff went down to. Obviously, the rock formation they were on was created by the tides over millions of years of erosion. "There's someone down there next to that big rock!"

"Really? Who?" Kitsune asked. Everyone went back into a more respectable position and they all peered down the cliff.

"He's short," Kitsune said.

"He seems Asian…" Mutsumi added.

"And there are two lines of blood trailing him!" Sarah finished. Putting two and two together, Naru realized who it was.

"The boogeyman!" Su said excitedly and whipped out her Ghost Buster Gear and aimed at the person in question.

"No!" everyone said and confiscated the weapon from her, yet again, thought no one knew how she had gotten it back in the first place.

"Aww… you guys are no fun…" Su chided. Good thing they stopped me though. I was out of range and it would have been so embarrassing if I didn't hit…

"Keitaro!" Naru shouted, and all but jumped after him. Conveniently forgetting the distance between them and height of the sheer cliff. Luckily, Motoko managed to grab her by the ankle, causing her to swivel down and hit the side of the cliff with her face. Motoko slowly got up and brought Naru up with a single outstretched arm. Seta nodded in approval while everyone else gaped. Motoko gave out a rare silly grin, taking their unspoken compliment with less stride than usual. However, since Motoko was just on the edge of the cliff and Naru was fat, the ground below her could not support their combined weight and crumbled down the side. Seta grabbed Motoko's ankles in time, but the two falling girls' combined momentum dragged him with them. The other girls acted quickly enough and piled on top of Seta's legs just as he too fell over, stopping the three with a jolt.

"Heave!" Mutsumi said delightfully.

"Ho!" the rest of the girls grunted as they pulled the three up.

"Let me go!" Naru said angrily.

"But then you'll fall to your death!" Kitsune said, pissed off at her best friend's headstrong attitude for a man that she claimed that was just a 'friend.' "Just wait a little till we find a safe way down!"

"I did find a safe way down!" Naru argued. "So let me go!"

"Naru-sempai… please calm down…" Shinobu mumbled as Naru started having a temper tantrum. Just as they were about to bring Motoko up, Motoko lost her grip on Naru's ankle and she tumbled down to her seemlingly death.

"No! Naru-sempai!" Motoko said and she was suddenly pulled up due to the loss of ballast. She landed on her front, but she didn't bother to get up. She slammed her fist down nearby, saying, "If only I were stronger…"

"What the hell are you guys waiting for?" Naru yelled from the great beyond. "Hurry up and follow me!"

"Naru… go towards the light," Seta said.

"BAKA!" Naru yelled and threw something that miraculously landed on his head. It happened to be a vine with a rock tied to the end. Everyone went to the ledge and found that Naru was only ten feet lower, on a barely discernable path that led to the shoreline below. "So, what are you guys waiting for?" Naru asked impatiently. Needless to say, they were safely at the bottom of the cliff soon after. With a running start, Naru quickly closed the distance between her and Keitaro's unconscious body. Closely following behind was Motoko, while the rest straggled behind. When Naru and Motoko were within fifteen feet of Keitaro, Seta suddenly yelled for them to stop.

"WHAT!" Naru said irritably, a vein visibly throbbing on her forehead.

"Why would he be lying there unconscious? Something did that to him, and I think that statue was that something!" Seta said, signs of agitation showing through his normal farce of nonchalance. What they had thought was a rock from their perch on the top of the cliff actually turned out to be a statue of a giant turtle that looked like a blown up version of Big Tama, which also happened to be the only thing between Naru and her prize. She continued, completely ignoring his warning soon followed by the rest. Naru was the first to reach him, and crouched down by his side. Motoko stood standing next to her, her face unnaturally devoid of emotion. The rest of the girls were a few paces away.

I have to teach him a lesson about being such a baka when we get back… Naru thought, her fists ready to relieve some of the tension this adventure cause. But maybe I should be nice to him… then he wont feel like he had to run away from me like this… another part of her thought, one that caught her by surprise. "I'll deal with that later…" she grumbled to herself, too consumed with ending her quest to be angry at herself for even thinking along those lines. She had to make sure he was okay now, and she turned him over to find that he was…

"My grandpa?" Nyamo squawked in surprise. The whole group had caught up and was now surrounding the man in question.

"Grandpa?" everyone else exclaimed.

"MEW!" thundered the suddenly enervated statue. It thundered towards them, arcs of thunder cracking across the sky with every step. Everyone made a mad dash away from the statue, the old man all but forgotten. Nyamo stood by him in a last ditch effort to wake him up, but luckily for her, to statue just past her and went on to chase the rest of the group. Sensing that the group was tiring too rapidly, Naru and Motoko glanced at each other and nodded. In a dramatic show of defiance, Motoko stopped with her katana pointing at it in a dangerous manner while Naru held her dukes up. The statue also stopped and gave a loud howl toward the sky in a show of dominance. Thunder cracled in the sky and shot to the ground, instantly creating a sophisticated tunnel network of now solidified sand that went meters deep. The thunders static caused the Naru and Motoko's hair to stand up a bit, while they wondered if their choice had been foolish. At least the girls are safe, Motoko thought after taking a quick glance their way. They had reached the foot of the cliff and were quickly scurrying up to the top. She couldn't find Seta or his charge. Her attention quickly went back to the statue when it shot the defenders a glare with an evil glint in its eyes.

"Mew!" it thundered once again. Motoko braced for impact, as had Naru, but what happened next seriously took them by surprise.

"Kyaa!" the two screamed after a sudden gust caused their 'fabrics' to go sailing with the wind.
"Pervert!" the two said in unison and attacked in unison. The statue was sent flying off to the sunset, and exploded when it was a large distance away.

"Seta?" Naru asked quizzically when they found him standing just behind where the statue was moments before. "What are you doing there?"

"I was just sticking some C4 on the statue while it was busy with you two," he said. Naru realized her state of attire, as had Motoko and she sank to the ground, quickly covering herself. Motoko followed suit. Sarah, still perched on his shoulders, covered his eyes. It didn't do much to remove the crimson that now adorned both of the beauties' faces.

(O)

Tama was perched happily on top of Big Tama's shell. They were both happily nibbling on the food Shinobu had prepared for their big, 'romantic ,' dinner. She, Su, Sarah and Nyamo ran the romantic tropical island dinner until it was way past their bedtimes. (Big Tama showed Keitaro's stubbornness in constantly courting Tama-chan, even though she kept refusing him, but actually managed to get her to go out with him!)

Seta and his mentor talked about why he was missing and found that he'd been searching the oasis for some time till present because of the same tab let Naru had found. He had actually been looking for an amulet that was now in his possession that the turtle statue had been guarding, and he wouldn't have found it had he not woken up to find the girls in the stream he had been camping next to and scurried away before being caught. (He later showed his tent to them when they went back to Seta's van, which to their shock was very prominent and hard to miss.) Away from the lovers, Naru say dejectedly, staring into the moon-lit ocean before her.

"Don't give up on him yet, Naru," Kitsune said, sitting next to her.

"It's useless, Kitsune. Keitaro never came here. We just wasted out time and that baka's not getting into Todai again!" she said in a frustrated tone. She wrapped her arms around herself tighter, though there was no breeze blowing. Kitsune just sat by her quietly, staring at the ocean as the waves rolled by lazily.

(O)

(Hinata0sou, two days ago)

Ring! Ring!

The phone stood silent for a moment, but started chirping again.

"Alright, alright! I'll get it!" Haruka said in an annoyed tone. Can't I get in any soaps without something always bugging me? Those damn police kept harassing her about some guy named Kentaro since the day the girls had all left.

"What?" she said angrily. This had better be good… The sounds of the hustle bustle of a market could be heard in the background.

"Haruka-obasan—" the speaker started, but was sharply cut off by Haruka correcting, but saying, "Haruka-san."

Wait a second… she thought when she recognized the exchange.

"Keitaro?"

(O)

Naru: Don't tell me that Keitaro was at the Perfecture all this time…

Me: Why would you say that?

Naru: Well, obviously it's Keitaro who called, so he must be nearby the Hinata-sou, or at least in Japan.

Me: Actually, it's his sister.

Naru: Bull. You're just saying that so you can surprise the readers next chapter.

Me: Really, I'm serious…

Naru: Whatever… Anyway, what was with all the Naru bashing! What do you have against me? Everything I do is well justified. That baka deserved everything I dished out to him!

Me: Sure. But that wasn't why I was bashing you…

Naru: Then why bash me so vehemently? Me, the pinnacle of Japanese femininity!

Me: Dude… I am so jealous of your punch.

Naru: (Speechless. After a while:) You want me to teach you?

Me: Sure! What's the secret?

Naru: This!

BAM

Author goes swimming with the fishes.

Nyamo: And thankyou all who cared to read this rubbish to read the latest installment of TSTBTPB. The author needs to update TOM soon.

Mario: I'm so glad this author won't mess with my life anymore than he already has.

Somewhere in a jail in the Philipines, Kentaro: Curse the author for making those turtles harass me!

(-O-)

I know… I need to update everything, and believe you me, I've been trying…

Well, that's the end of this trilogy. If you didn't like it… well, I'm sorry I've disappointed you. And for those of you who think that this will be a fluff, romance or comedy (as this trilogy seems to hint) remember that this fic is classified tragedy. Tell me if it doesn't though…

And remember, click the 'Go' button. (Flames are understandable, especially if critical)

Cheers :