Book One: The Straw That Broke The Pervert's Back

Chapter One: The Invincible Pervert!

By: Sci-Fi Raptor

Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina or its characters. I do, however, own any characters that I make during the length of this story. Enjoy.

This idea poped up in my head while I read Love Hina: Showdown by Lord LeChuck the Wonder W, but is not a copy off of his story in any way. This first chapter is really just a courtesy and the story doesn't really start until somewhere near the end of it. Reading chapter two will really get things started, so at least read up till that till you flame me… (I'm sorry, but this dry presentation seems to work the best to start off the story)

During its developement, this story spawned a daughter story called The Other Me. They have the same exact first three chapters, but they diverge after that. Consider reading it once you've read past chapter three of this fic, though keep in mind that it is rated R and is more of a darker fic then this version. Cheers!

Note: This is set two years after Keitaro first goes into the Hinata-Sou, about a week before his second shot at the entrance exams.

(-O-)

There's a saying that goes something like "the kitchen is kind of the heart of the family." Now if by kitchen, it means the dining room table, it makes sense, since that it the one place everyone consecutively meets and talks together. The case isn't any different for the residents of the Hinata-Sou, formerly the Hinata Inn.

On this particular, everyday morning, the residents all slowly made their way to the table, which was already furnished with a nutritious and tasty breakfast, compliments of Shinobu Maehara (15), the resident cook. As she finished distributing the foot stuffs and utensils, one may notice that she seems to put special love and care for a particular seat, the seat of a particular Sempai. If one were to compare Shinobu to her previous self, one would remark on the extreme changes she had undergone. Thanks to a particular pervert, Shinobu was no longer that shy unconfident girl she was when she originally entered Hinata-Sou. Now she was a vibrant example of youth whose beauty was finally standing out (and being noticed by the boys in her grade, thought for some reason she kept rejecting any offers they made).

"Someone seems a bit giddy," someone said in an insinuating tone to Shinobu as she passed by her Sempai's seat.

"I j-just wanted to thank Sempai for helping be get such a high mark on my last test," she says, blushing wildly.

"Really?" Mitsune Konno (21) says with a foxy grin, which coincidentally explains the reason for her nickname Kitsune (fox). Kitsune, the resident couch potato, likes to spend her life incessantly drinking, getting into other people's lives and a certain pervert's wallet.

"That is really uncalled for." Motoko Aoyama (18) says coolly. Kitsune glares daggers at her for ruining her fun, but she shrugs it off. Always calm and collected, Motoko is a shining example of what a warrior raised in the way of the God's Cry school should be, though internally she is still a confused teen trying to get control of her recently arising hormones and emotions. She had an acute skill with her sword, having the ability to neatly cut falling leaves and never hesitates to use it in the name of protecting the other girls from the local sex fiend. She is deathly afraid of turtles

"Is 'uncalled for' yummy?" Su Koallo (15) ponders from her latched position on Motoko's back. No one pays her mind. Though young and extremely hyper, Su is a genius, who constantly creates advanced (though twisted) inventions that she loves to test on her favorite "playmate," who apparently has a strange likeness to her brother. She also has a strange fixation upon bananas and the resident turtle.

"You don't eat it, idiot!" Sarah McDougal (11) sharply says to her. She was left behind by Seta as he was off exploring yet another ruin. She likes to map out the secret tunnels of Hinata-Sou with Su. She also enjoys hitting a certain dork with artifacts and generally terrorizing him.

"Ara, ara, I wonder where Keitaro and Naru are?"Mutsumi Otohime commented, noticing that the normal chaos was missing a certain something. Mutsumi was almost as strange as Su and seemed to be the female version of a certain pervert. She had a tendency to faint due to her fragile health, randomly kisses people and has a strange fixation with watermelons. One of her more strange qualities was that she was a third year ronin that would have gotten in had she not fainted on the way to the testing center or forgotten to put her name down.

Coincidentally, the said missing persons also happened to be ronins. Narusegawa Naru (19) had actually ranked first on the national mock exams, but had somehow failed the real thing. She was a very temperamental and quixotically strong woman who could somehow send perverts flying into the stratosphere.

Speaking of perverts flying, the local one was once again launched into the atmosphere, causing the house to tremble a little, from the impact of flooring and roofing being ripped through and possibly from fear. Naru made her way to her seat and sat down to eat as if were a normal day. Everyone else acted as if were a normal event and finished eating, though Shinobu seemed to be slightly agitated by how high Keitaro was going.

Now there's a character: Keitaro Urashima (22), virgin. Some would say bad luck personified. 17 years ago, he made a childhood promise in which he vowed to get into Todai (Tokyo University). Ever since, he's been trying to get in, though he hasn't had much luck; until recently. After becoming the landlord of Hinata-Sou, which happens to be an all-girl's dormitory, he finally started getting decent scores with the help of Naru and later, Mutsumi.

One would think that the idea of a male in an all-girl's dormitory is appalling, and trust me, most of the tenants thought the same in the beginning. Due to Keitaro's amazing accident-prone nature and his unbelievable ability of going to the wrong place at the wrong time and touching the wrong areas during his 'accidents,' Naru and Motoko constantly bangs around Keitaro. No man would normally survive under the conditions he has to face, be it punishment, incessant chores or emotional stress, but Keitaro is no normal man… or mortal. Keitaro Urishima seems to have an indestructible nature, which should explain to any outsider why his tenants treat him as such and feel no remorse. Besides, deep down inside, Keitaro and the girls are all a family and love each other very much.

Love is a very strange thing though and none of the tenants can readily admit their feelings for him. Naru, who unconsciously knows she loves him, seems only to be able to express it by causing Keitaro massive pain, which is very similar to Motoko, though she seems slightly more aware of it herself. Shinobu seems to be innocence personified and has a huge crush on her sempai, though she can only express it through her cooking. However all the tenants know about her feelings, except for Keitaro, since he's a dense idiot. The rest just seems to have a familial love for Keitaro, except for Mutsumi, since she used to like him when they were kids. However, she had long since given up her right to love him in a simple game of rock-paper-scissor.

Now, let's focus on our aforementioned star, Keitaro, as he rushes back to the earth.

"Hey, I can see the mall from here…" he says to himself. Suddenly he can feel the wind rushing past to him and for some reason remembers how he got into the situation he is in, in the first place.

(O)

"Narusegawa…" Keitaro says as he uninvitedly goes through the hole connecting his room to hers to ask about a question he has about a test question. Unfortunately (for him at least), he happens to pop in while she is changing. His nose starts bleeding as he gets a good view of her unmentionables.

"Don't you ever get enough?" Naru says angrily and kicks his head like a soccer ball, sending him flying.

(O)

"Dammit…" he says angrily. "She never listens to me. She didn't even give me a chance to explain. I'm starting to get tired of this treatment. Its like all they see me as is a thing for them to use. At least everyone except Shinobu-chan. But I don't know if it's even worth my time any-" he rambls, but is cut off mid sentence as he crashes into a busy highway. Far worse, he happens to get right in front of a speeding truck, which happens to causing him to get bumped onto a speeding car and thrown deeper into the fray. After a few more collisions, he falls into the cargo bed of an SUV and flung off when it screeches to a halt on a red light. Soaring through the air, Keitaro suddenly gains consciousness as he slams face first into the wall of a clinic. Slowly, his body peels off the wall and lands on the ground, leaving a small indent on the wall.

His crumpled form attracts a small crowd of anxious people who wonder what to do next. Someone calls for help and an ambulance comes by shortly thereafter. As the paramedics get ready to put his flattened body onto the stretcher, his arm suddenly comes back to life and he puts his thumb into his mouth and starts blowing. In a few minutes, he is re-inflated and he suddenly jumps up, no scratches whatsoever, and says, "I'm Okay!" and points his index and middle finger up in the shape of a V, his face beaming with pride. Everyone around him falls.

"Damn, you're something kid," one of the paramedics says, giving him a playful slap on the back. Everyone winces when they hear the sharp snap of a bone cracking…

(O)

"Sempai sure is taking a while to get back," Shinobu says worriedly. What she says seems to be an understatement, since its almost sunset.

"Don't worry, he always comes back," Kitsune reassures her. "Its not like he died or anything." She winces at the face Shinobu makes.

"Sempai wouldn't die, would he?" she asks, teary eyed.

"No way," she says confidently. "Keitaro is indestructible! Though Naru did give an awfully strong hit today," she adds, causing Shinobu to become even more upset.

Fortunately for Kitsune, Shinobu calms down when the front door opens and Keitaro quietly announces his entrance. Shinobu excitedly goes up to greet him, but gasps. Kitsune follows suit to investigate what happened and also gasps. Then starts laughing.

Keitaro is frantically trying to take off his shoes with one hand while bent down, since the other is in a cast.

"Had me worried for a second…" Kitsune says to Shinobu, who is frantically running around to make Keitaro's life easier.

"Thanks Shinobu-chan," Keitaro says gratefully, but does not acknowledge Kitsune's presence.

"Keitaro…" she starts, trying to con some more sake out of him, but he simply ignores her and goes to his room. "Shinobu-chan," Keitaro says, still ignoring Kitsune, "can you bring my dinner to my room? I want to study as much as I can between now and the test next week."

"Sure, sempai," Shinobu says and happily runs along. Keitaro goes to his room without another word.

That's weird. Keitaro was ignoring me. Maybe he got fed up with us always being on his case? She thought for a moment, worrying. Nah, he's probably still just disoriented… she convinced herself and went about her daily activities.

(-O-)

Just PLEASE read chapter 2 before you decide to stop reading!!!