A/N- AHHH! SORRY! I haven't died, I promise. I made one of my friends promise that if I ever died she would go onto fanfiction dot net and tell everyone, so they would know not to hate and/or expect updates from me. And I also made my mom promise to type up and post the rest of the unedited version of Charmer of the Shadows... but I digress, no? So much has happened since last update... I'll try to communicate it all through this chapter so as to avoid overly-long Author's notes.
As you can see, this is the final chapter. Why the sudden ending? Well, this is actually the ending I've been planning, which you can almost see if you look back a few chapters. I intended to due it later, but I don't feel funny anymore and the fic has lost both momentum and reviews, so I decided to put it down. Good ol' TNP... Now I feel like we should watch some sort of memorial clip montage video thing...
(An old woman is walker-ing her way across the stage. None of the others are apparent. Again the poof of smoke appears and the Authoress enters.)
Authoress: Hi guyss! Didja miss me?
(No one answers.)
Authoress: Helloo?
(She spots the old woman.)
Authoress: Yo, old chick! Um... lady? 'Scuse me... Have you seen any of the POTO guys? Ya know... Erik... Raoul... Christine...
Old Lady: What's that, dearie?
Authoress: HAVE. YOU. SEEN. ANY. BODY. AROUND. THIS. THEATRE?
Old Lady: Of course, honey. They're exploring.
Authoress: Oh. And... who are you?
Old Lady: My name is Lotte, child. Yours?
Authoress: Erin Montparnasse the Magical Authoress of Doom, Sporadic Updates, and Fading Humor.
Old Lady: Pleasure. (She walkers away)
Authoress: Huh. She sort of reminded me of Wobby!Raoul from the POTO flick. GASP! Lotte! That was Little Lotte, Raoul and Christine's baby! Man, I've been gone for a real long time!
(She points to the ceiling and the POTO characters fall onto the floor in a heap.)
Authoress: HI!
(She is answered by assorted groans.)
Authoress: Guess what! I had the musical review in, like, January and February, and then the next month I played viola in the pit of this musical at another school, and then I had to study for the AP exams, not to mention I'm working on a new project called The Music That's Not Right (check it out on my website!), and then I got sick, and there was the horrible case of writer's block... But I'm back! And Microsoft Word would like to inform me that that was a run-on sentence!
(The characters all look at her stiffly.)
Authoress: Um... what's wrong?
(No response.)
Authoress: Yeesh.
(She reads over a few old chapters.)
Authoress: Hey, look! Raoul and Erik and the managers were acting weird last time!
(The characters have surrounded her.)
Authoress: And now you're all acting weird. What's this about?
(They tie her up, duct tape her mouth, and prop her in a chair.)
Authoress: Mmmmhhhmmgg?
(A voice booms across the theatre a la Phantom. Yet it is not the Phantom...)
Voice: YOU DECLARED WAR ON ME, YOU INSIGNIFICANT! YOU ROBBED ME OF MY ROLE AND MY ACCENT! BUT NOW, NOW I HAVE REPLACED ALL OF YOUR BELOVED CHARACTERS—AND THE ONES YOU HATE—WITH ROBOTS AND SENT THE REAL CHARACTERS HOME!
Authoress: MmmMhh?
Caps Lock Voice of Doom: YES, YOU RECOGNIZE ME! OR PERHAPSA YOU CANNA RECOGNIZE-A ME NOW!
Authoress: Mmhhmmhh?
Voice: NO, NOTTA CARLOTTA! DO I SOUNDA LIKE A WOMAN TO YOU?
Authoress: Mhh! Mggg!
Voice: WHAT? PIRELLI? WHO EES-A PIRELLI?
Authoress: Mg. Mhgghh?
Voice: FRANZ-A LISZT? WHAT? NO, YOU LEETLE EEMBECILE-A! EET EES-A I... PIANGI!
Authoress: Mmmmgg!
(Ubaldo Piangi steps into the light. His army of robo-POTO characters lines up behind him.)
Piangi: We haf-a outta smarted zees Aut'oress, and-a now she must-a die. And-a, se fic shall-a be over. Eet-a doesn't-a really matter anyway, cos nobody wants-a to read eet.
(The army of robots closes in, with Piangi at the lead. Old!Lotte wanders in, waves to them, and walkers away.)
Lotte: Oh, how those little dears love to wrestle...
THE END.