SIRIUS- Black as He's Painted?

Notorious Mass Murderer or Innocent Singing Sensation?

A/N: Apologies to Led Zeppelin for their wonderful song "Black Dog." Have fun reading!

Frankly, the ball was miserably boring. James was busy trying to convince Lily to dance with him, but it seemed to have gone…wrong. I suspected this as James stood in front of me glaring and dripping with Pumpkin juice. I couldn't help laughing. Remus even restrained his snickers. But Peter, of course, was already rushing to clean up the mess that was my best friend with a bunch of napkins.

"Bad luck, Prongs? You know, there are other fish," I told him knowledgably, winking at a passing girl, who blushed slightly. "How about that one?"

"I don't want that one," He said through his teeth. "If I can't have her-" he pointed furiously, "I can't have anyone!" Peter dabbed his face tenderly. "Get off, Wormtail," he added in annoyance. Peter obediently backed away.

The music got progressively slower as the night wore on, and though I danced with a few girls who wanted to be on the floor, I was having more fun sipping my drink and talking about absolutely nothing with James and Remus. The 'proper' musicians, recommended by Professor Sprout, were plucking on their instruments in a lugubrious way. Even the drummer looked bored. How can a drummer get bored? There needed to be someway to liven up this party, I decided.

"Has anyone spiked the punch yet?"

"Don't think so."

I pulled my emergency flask out of my pocket and handed it to James. He took off with a more satisfied expression than he'd wearing that night thus far. That wouldn't solve the problem, though. Maybe if he took…yes, that would give James another chance with Lily, too. It was worth a shot. As soon as I stood up, though, the rational voice of my own personal Jiminy Cricket restrained me.

"Sirius…what are you thinking?"

"You can help, too, Remus, come on."

"Is it legal?"

"I don't think there's a specific rule against it."

"Will I regret this tomorrow?"

"Probably. Come on."

Remus stared at me. His mouth twitched in an all too familiar wolfish way. There was a bit of the wild in him tonight, I thought, grinning. Tentatively, he grinned back.

"Alright, but you're taking the blame."

"As always, dearest Moony," I bowed to him, and ran towards the stage, bumping into as many people on the dance floor as possible. "STOP THE MUSIC!" I bellowed in as serious a voice I could manage. Remus followed in bewilderment.

I clambered up on the stage and pushed the lead singer/accordion player out of the way and silenced the room with a sweeping gesture of my hands. It worked. Wicked. Just for kicks, I tried it again. People laughed and applauded. Alright, then, here goes.

"I'm apologize to the band and any of its…erm, supporters, but who wants to hear some real music?" Some cheers.

"You know that isn't going to work. Tell me about your problems, scream them at me! Who wants some MUSIC?"

The hall exploded with applause, people hooted and whooped energetically. James did his job, then, I hoped. I leaned over and whispered to Remus what to tell the musicians. He and I took spare guitars and showed them the chords, told them to follow my lead. I decided an accent would suit the role I was about to fill, so I put on the silliest one I could think of and commenced my speech.

"We're so happy to be here, you're a lovely audience; I'd love to take you home with me. Alas, I can't. My name is Stubby Boardman and this is my band, the, uh, the Hobgoblins! Rock out, boys."

I started with a low chord, Remus wavering a little higher on his guitar. I winked at James. I got a look back that told me I was his savior for the rest of the week.

"Hey hey Momma, said the way you move,

gonna make you sweat,

gonna make you groove!"

The band erupted in a hard beat that immediately erased the lethargy of the students. "Let's get a little better than that," I told them.

"Oh, oh, child, way you shake that thing, gonna make you burn, gonna make you sting.
Hey, hey, baby, when you walk that way, watch your honey drip, can't keep away."

My hobgoblins were having fun now. They gave me a perfect beat, followed my lyrics, and the room started crawling in one huge mass towards the center of the room. Remus was on the offense with his guitar.

"Ah yeah, ah yeah, ah, ah, ah. Ah yeah, ah yeah, ah, ah, ah.

I gotta roll, can't stand still, got a flame in my heart, can't get my fill.
Eyes that shine burning red, dreams of you all through my head.

Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.

Hey, baby, oh, baby, pretty baby, Tell me won't you do me now.

Didn't take too long 'fore I found out, what people mean my down and out.
Spent my money, took my car, started telling her friends she wants to be a star.
I don't know but I been told, a big-legged woman ain't got no soul."

I kept my eyes on James as he wandered through the crowd of dancing people. There was Lily, in the arms of none other than greasy Snivellus, who seemed immensely nervous. Bad news, Snivellus, Prongs gonna get you, I thought. He actually strutted over the couple, the only time I've ever seen James strut, and pushed Snivellus into the table behind him, where the alcoholic punch sloshed out of the bowl and onto his dress robes. I laughed through the chorus and gave Remus a guitar solo while I collected myself.

"Take it away, Moony!"

He didn't need to be told twice. The glint in his amber eye had me thinking for a moment that he was mid-transformation, but no, it was merely the power of rock and roll, pulling at his soul. Or something like that.

James swept Lily from her feet, literally, carried her to the middle of the floor, and started dancing with her. At first it was competitive. Each was trying to find a better rhythm, a better move than the other. She was clearly angry about Snivellus, who was maliciously rubbing his hooked nose and slinking out of the room.

Then something strange occurred. James and Lily no longer seemed to be competing. They merely fell into place, clicked. Their movements perfectly matched and they smiled as though they were enjoying the moment. At one point James dipped her and kissed her outright on the lips. Remus leaned over to me and with a respectful whisper (one of the rare times it was respectful), said, "You did it, Padfoot. This is your song, black dog."

"All I ask for when I pray, steady rollin' woman gonna come my way.
Need a woman gonna hold my hand, won't tell me no lies, make me a happy man."

We played an encore.

Alright, a few encores.

It was wicked.

Okay, story's over now, go home.

Go on, or I'll growl at you!