The Adventures of Retard and Dorkus
By Dragon's Damnation
Disclaimer: I own Inuyasha! Chayah right, and dogs break dance and cats sing I'm Too Sexy for my Shirt!
A/N: Prepare for you favorite silver haired brothers to completely lose their sanity!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!
Inuyasha: is sitting cross-legged on floor
Sesshomaru: sitting cross-legged beside him, mumbling random cuss words and stroking the fluffy
Inuyasha: turns head and looks at Sesshomaru "Dude, chicks dig my ears."
Sesshomaru: "So what, guys dig my fluffy!"
Inuyasha: ".........guys... WHAT THE FUCK?!"
Sesshomaru: "Wait, I didn't mean that! I meant chicks dig my fluffy!" 'Damn... one guy hits on me... and look what happens...'
Inuyasha: "Suuuuuuuuuure..."
Sesshomaru: ...........................
Inuyasha: jumps onto feet "Hey, you wanna scare the living hell out of the nurses?!"
Sesshomaru: jumps up "Okey-daisies! Hey, got peanut butter?!"
Inuyasha: randomly looks at floor "Don't you wonder why this whole room is padded?" jumps up and down, marveling at how he can bounce on the squishy floor
Sesshomaru: "Yah, I was wondering that too..." runs around and hits a wall
Inuyasha: "Well, Miroku said it was the Idiot Pen... Rin said it was the Loony Bin... and Souta said it was the Happie Hotel..." shrugs and runs into a wall... and manages to get stuck in the padding "Cwull! Wum wuck win wa wall!"
(A/N: He said 'Cool! I'm stuck in the wall!')
Sesshomaru: "Well, I likey dah Happie Hotel!" runs into a glass window that the people look at them through
Inuyasha: suddenly pops out of wall and turns on random radio and sings along "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?! WHO, WHO, WHO, WHO?!" starts break-dancing on floor
Sesshomaru: "Hn. I don't like peanut butter." switches radio to opera and sings along
Inuyasha: frowns and puts it on a country station "I'M A REDNECK WOMAN, AIN'T NO HIGH-CLASS GAL!"
Sesshomaru: "YOU'RE A WOMAN WITH A RED NECK?! HOLY SHIT, MY BROTHER IS MY SISTER!!!"
Inuyasha: "YOU'RE FINE TO TALK! YOU WEAR MAKE-UP!"
Sesshomaru: "SO WOULD YOU IF YOU BECOME A FULL-FLEDGED YOUKAI!"
Inuyasha: suddenly goes back to their original conversation "I already got the best magnets out there." points to dog ears
Sesshomaru: "So do I..." strokes fluffy "It gave me my beloved nickname, Fluffy-kins."
Inuyasha: "Yeah, well, when girls see my ears twitch, they come running and squealing! They go," suddenly speaks in a slutty girl voice, "'Oh my gosh! It's like, Inuyasha! Inuyasha, will you sign my bra?!?'"
Sesshomaru: "Well, chicks ask me to sign their thongs."
Inuyasha: holds up random thong "So, Kagome gave me this after the car crash before the people in white coats took us away. She said the huggle this every night before I go to bed so I'll be reminded of how much she loves to rub my ears!!!"
Sesshomaru: "Onomatopoeia!!!"
Inuyasha: "WOOT SWOOSH BOOM!"
Sesshomaru: pulls out random bra "Oh yeah! Kagura gave me her bra so that we can remember our special day!" cuddles bra
Inuyasha: holds up pink box with a princess on it "Let's play Pretty, Pretty Princess!"
Sesshomaru: "No, let's play Barbies!" holds up random naked Barbie
Inuyasha: "No, let's play Hi Ho! Cherry-O!" holds up red box with trees and cherries on it
Sesshomaru: "Okey-daisies!"
So, the two brothers adventured into the world of Hi Ho! Cherry-O, and learned how to count... after all, it's the child's first counting game.
Inuyasha: "What comes after four?"
Sesshomaru: "If you tell me, I'll tell you what comes after three."
Inuyasha: "What comes after three?!"
Sesshomaru: "Why a google-plex of course!"
Inuyasha: "Then after that comes one!!!"
Sesshomaru: sounds like the brat from Lilo & Stitch "Yeah."
Inuyasha: "Then after one, fives comes!"
Sesshomaru: nods
Inuyasha: "Why was six afraid of nine?"
Sesshomaru: "OOoooooooOOOOhh...... why?!"
Inuyasha: "Cuz nine ate seven!" rolls on floor laughing
Sesshomaru: "That was soooo funny, I farted!"
Inuyasha: "Sweet!"
Sesshomaru: "Totally."
Inuyasha: sees a glare on the glass window Sesshomaru had hit earlier "Shiny..."
Sesshomaru: gasps "How it glitters and sparkles in the light!"
Inuyasha: "All hail the wonderful light bulbs!" bows
Sesshomaru: "They rule all."
Inuyasha: "It has chosen us to shine upon."
Sesshomaru: nods
Inuyasha/Sesshomaru: both fall on faces "WE'RE NOT WORTHY!!!!"
Inuyasha: "Praise King Glowy Light Above Square! He makes all things in this room sparkle and shine! What a beautiful, paradisey kingdom we live in!"
Sesshomaru: "Unworthy!!! We are unworthy!!!"
Inuyasha/Sesshomaru: fall on faces again "WE'RE NOT WORTHY!!!!"
The lights above them suddenly flickered out and the two stood and stared at the dark places where the light once was.
Sesshomaru: "We've... been cursed!"
Inuyasha: shudders
Sesshomaru: "This is frightening... it's evil!"
Inuyasha: "Righteous."
Sesshomaru: grabs him by shoulders and shakes him "They're coming for us!"
Inuyasha: "Oh my God, we're DOOOOOOMED!!!!!!!"
Sesshomaru: eyes widen "They want to kill you!"
Inuyasha: eyes widen to coconut size and he screams like a girl
Sesshomaru: "Run Inuyasha! Run beloved brother!"
Inuyasha: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! " runs all around room
Sesshomaru: covers ears
Inuyasha: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! " finally hits the glass window from the observation room and knocks self out
Sesshomaru: walks over to him and pokes him
Inuyasha: bites his finger while he's still unconscious
Sesshomaru: looks at observers while his finger is still being devoured "That's why we let sleeping dogs lie."
Hope you laughed! Be watching for the next part! Oh, these little insanities are only one chapter apiece, so this is it for this fic. I will do review responses in the next part. Plus... just taking a poll here: Who can tell me which one is Retard, and which one is Dorkus?
The next part is called:
Return of Retard and Dorkus
Be watching for it!
By Dragon's Damnation
Disclaimer: I own Inuyasha! Chayah right, and dogs break dance and cats sing I'm Too Sexy for my Shirt!
A/N: Prepare for you favorite silver haired brothers to completely lose their sanity!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!
Inuyasha: is sitting cross-legged on floor
Sesshomaru: sitting cross-legged beside him, mumbling random cuss words and stroking the fluffy
Inuyasha: turns head and looks at Sesshomaru "Dude, chicks dig my ears."
Sesshomaru: "So what, guys dig my fluffy!"
Inuyasha: ".........guys... WHAT THE FUCK?!"
Sesshomaru: "Wait, I didn't mean that! I meant chicks dig my fluffy!" 'Damn... one guy hits on me... and look what happens...'
Inuyasha: "Suuuuuuuuuure..."
Sesshomaru: ...........................
Inuyasha: jumps onto feet "Hey, you wanna scare the living hell out of the nurses?!"
Sesshomaru: jumps up "Okey-daisies! Hey, got peanut butter?!"
Inuyasha: randomly looks at floor "Don't you wonder why this whole room is padded?" jumps up and down, marveling at how he can bounce on the squishy floor
Sesshomaru: "Yah, I was wondering that too..." runs around and hits a wall
Inuyasha: "Well, Miroku said it was the Idiot Pen... Rin said it was the Loony Bin... and Souta said it was the Happie Hotel..." shrugs and runs into a wall... and manages to get stuck in the padding "Cwull! Wum wuck win wa wall!"
(A/N: He said 'Cool! I'm stuck in the wall!')
Sesshomaru: "Well, I likey dah Happie Hotel!" runs into a glass window that the people look at them through
Inuyasha: suddenly pops out of wall and turns on random radio and sings along "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?! WHO, WHO, WHO, WHO?!" starts break-dancing on floor
Sesshomaru: "Hn. I don't like peanut butter." switches radio to opera and sings along
Inuyasha: frowns and puts it on a country station "I'M A REDNECK WOMAN, AIN'T NO HIGH-CLASS GAL!"
Sesshomaru: "YOU'RE A WOMAN WITH A RED NECK?! HOLY SHIT, MY BROTHER IS MY SISTER!!!"
Inuyasha: "YOU'RE FINE TO TALK! YOU WEAR MAKE-UP!"
Sesshomaru: "SO WOULD YOU IF YOU BECOME A FULL-FLEDGED YOUKAI!"
Inuyasha: suddenly goes back to their original conversation "I already got the best magnets out there." points to dog ears
Sesshomaru: "So do I..." strokes fluffy "It gave me my beloved nickname, Fluffy-kins."
Inuyasha: "Yeah, well, when girls see my ears twitch, they come running and squealing! They go," suddenly speaks in a slutty girl voice, "'Oh my gosh! It's like, Inuyasha! Inuyasha, will you sign my bra?!?'"
Sesshomaru: "Well, chicks ask me to sign their thongs."
Inuyasha: holds up random thong "So, Kagome gave me this after the car crash before the people in white coats took us away. She said the huggle this every night before I go to bed so I'll be reminded of how much she loves to rub my ears!!!"
Sesshomaru: "Onomatopoeia!!!"
Inuyasha: "WOOT SWOOSH BOOM!"
Sesshomaru: pulls out random bra "Oh yeah! Kagura gave me her bra so that we can remember our special day!" cuddles bra
Inuyasha: holds up pink box with a princess on it "Let's play Pretty, Pretty Princess!"
Sesshomaru: "No, let's play Barbies!" holds up random naked Barbie
Inuyasha: "No, let's play Hi Ho! Cherry-O!" holds up red box with trees and cherries on it
Sesshomaru: "Okey-daisies!"
So, the two brothers adventured into the world of Hi Ho! Cherry-O, and learned how to count... after all, it's the child's first counting game.
Inuyasha: "What comes after four?"
Sesshomaru: "If you tell me, I'll tell you what comes after three."
Inuyasha: "What comes after three?!"
Sesshomaru: "Why a google-plex of course!"
Inuyasha: "Then after that comes one!!!"
Sesshomaru: sounds like the brat from Lilo & Stitch "Yeah."
Inuyasha: "Then after one, fives comes!"
Sesshomaru: nods
Inuyasha: "Why was six afraid of nine?"
Sesshomaru: "OOoooooooOOOOhh...... why?!"
Inuyasha: "Cuz nine ate seven!" rolls on floor laughing
Sesshomaru: "That was soooo funny, I farted!"
Inuyasha: "Sweet!"
Sesshomaru: "Totally."
Inuyasha: sees a glare on the glass window Sesshomaru had hit earlier "Shiny..."
Sesshomaru: gasps "How it glitters and sparkles in the light!"
Inuyasha: "All hail the wonderful light bulbs!" bows
Sesshomaru: "They rule all."
Inuyasha: "It has chosen us to shine upon."
Sesshomaru: nods
Inuyasha/Sesshomaru: both fall on faces "WE'RE NOT WORTHY!!!!"
Inuyasha: "Praise King Glowy Light Above Square! He makes all things in this room sparkle and shine! What a beautiful, paradisey kingdom we live in!"
Sesshomaru: "Unworthy!!! We are unworthy!!!"
Inuyasha/Sesshomaru: fall on faces again "WE'RE NOT WORTHY!!!!"
The lights above them suddenly flickered out and the two stood and stared at the dark places where the light once was.
Sesshomaru: "We've... been cursed!"
Inuyasha: shudders
Sesshomaru: "This is frightening... it's evil!"
Inuyasha: "Righteous."
Sesshomaru: grabs him by shoulders and shakes him "They're coming for us!"
Inuyasha: "Oh my God, we're DOOOOOOMED!!!!!!!"
Sesshomaru: eyes widen "They want to kill you!"
Inuyasha: eyes widen to coconut size and he screams like a girl
Sesshomaru: "Run Inuyasha! Run beloved brother!"
Inuyasha: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! " runs all around room
Sesshomaru: covers ears
Inuyasha: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! " finally hits the glass window from the observation room and knocks self out
Sesshomaru: walks over to him and pokes him
Inuyasha: bites his finger while he's still unconscious
Sesshomaru: looks at observers while his finger is still being devoured "That's why we let sleeping dogs lie."
Hope you laughed! Be watching for the next part! Oh, these little insanities are only one chapter apiece, so this is it for this fic. I will do review responses in the next part. Plus... just taking a poll here: Who can tell me which one is Retard, and which one is Dorkus?
The next part is called:
Return of Retard and Dorkus
Be watching for it!