We blame this one on Arctic Circle's chicken rings and shakes (cashew, carmel, and oreo), and the Life Savers strawberry Creme Savers. Also there was some PMS involved. And lots of carbonation.
Disclaimer: We own very little. But what we have, we're proud of, dammit. So please don't sue us! You wouldn't want our brains anyway...
AngelAsh and Jess: Roll call!
VARIOUS FUSHIGI YUUGI CAST MEMBERS ASSEMBLE IN FRONT OF THE TWO AUTHORS
Tasuki: I wanna be a bandit.
AngelAsh: There are no bandits in Star Wars. (thinks) Wait. I lied. Han Solo was kinda a bandit wasn't he?
Jess: Actually he was a smuggler dear.
AngelAsh: Close enough. (to Tasuki) There you go. You can be a smuggler.
Tasuki: Yay!
Tamahome: I want to be a babe magnet.
Miaka: (mumbling around mouthfuls of doughnuts from the luncheon table) Excuse you...
Tamahome: I mean... I wanna be Miaka's babe magnet... heh...
Miaka: Yay!
Yui: Baka ne.
AngelAsh and Jess: (sweatdropping) You can be Luke Skywalker.
Tamahome: Is he rich?
AngelAsh: Not exactly. He lives on a farm.
Tamahome: Crap. Broke again.
Miaka: What about me?? What about me?? Who am I? I wanna be Tamahome's love interest.
Jess: (snicker) You're gonna be Princess Leia.
Yui: Figures.
Miaka: Hurray for me.
Yui: I hate to ask, but who am I?
AngelAsh: You're Mon Mothma, leader of the Rebel Alliance.
Miaka: She gets to be a leader???!!!
Jess: After putting up with you for however many years, we thought we'd give her a break.
Tasuki: (laughing hysterically on the floor)
Kouji: Worrr arrrrrrrrrrrrr gurrr arararrrrrrrrrr. (translation) Laugh it up fuzzball.
Tasuki: (looking at Kouji who is dressed in a blue Wookiee outfit) Funny you should say that... What the hell happened to you?
KOUJI DIVES ON TOP OF TASUKI AND STARTS GNAWING ON HIS HEAD
AngelAsh: (drily) Chewbacca, I presume.
Jess: Can't seperate best buds.
Tasuki: (wiping Wookiee drool from his head) I wish you'd get him off my head.
Kouji: (swears in Wookiee and flips AngelAsh off)
AngelAsh: Keep it up fuzzball. I'll shave you.
Jess: Can we please just get through roll call before the mayhem starts??!
KOUJI AND ANGELASH GIVE EACH OTHER EVIL LOOKS AND MOVE AWAY FROM EACH OTHER
Jess: Chichiri, Obi-wan Kenobi.
Chichiri: No da!
AngelAsh: Geez, why did we not see that coming.
Jess: (icily calm) Ash, go take your Pamprin.
AngelAsh: (meekly) Hai.
Tasuki: I think someone else needs Pamprin. (looks at Jess)
Jess: (ignoring a certain bandit) Hotohori, you're Biggs Darlighter.
Hotohori: Why do I have to do all the dying?
Jess: Keisukie, you're... um... I'll get back to you. Right now you're tech support.
Keisuke: (whining) I can't operate a soundboard.
Jess: Deal with it! The next person who objects will be shot, drawn and quartered, and their little pieces burned at the stake! ANY MORE OBJECTIONS?!?
DEAD SILENCE
Jess: (calmer) Good.
Tamahome: (whispering) I think I'll take AngelAsh. If you're quiet she won't attack you.
Jess: I heard that.
Tamahome: (gulp)
Jess: Back to roll call. Ewoks: Amiboshi, Suboshi, and the Tamahome siblings.
Ewok-tachi: Yub yub!!
AngelAsh: Like they're going to say anything else...
Suboshi: Ryuuseisui!
AngelAsh: (still PMS-ing, grab's the ryuuseisui and proceeds to fwap Suboshi back and forth)Did someone forget that I'm still ON ONE!?!
Jess: Ahem! Stormtroopers, the whole Kuto army.
STORMTROOPERS MARCH OUT IN BLUE LACQUERED ARMOR THAT HAS A SCALE PATTERN EMBOSSED ON IT
Jess: (looks at script, then at ST's, the back at script) That's NOT in the script!
AngelAsh: It's the only way we could get them all to sign on.
Jess: (throws the script in the air and walks away to cool down)
AngelAsh: (picking up a random page from the script, and laughing hysterically) Tomite, Hikitsu, and Tatara, you're all puppeting Jabba.
Tomite, Hikitsu, Tatara: NANI!?!!!
AngelAsh: It's great. You can have all the frog legs you want.
Tomite, Hikitsu, Tatara: GROSS! Who thought up this menu?
Miaka: Mmm.... frog legs (drools)
Tamahome: Remind me to make sure you brush before I kiss you next time.
DARTH VADER WALKS IN FOLLOWED BY JABBA'S DANCING GIRL OOLA
Darth Vader: (in a high pitched voice) Who the hell put helium in my oxygen tank?!
Oola: Ooh, Darth-sama, you sound so sexy when you speak like a chipmunk.
Darth Vader: (still high pitched) Don't start with me woman. I want to know who did this and I want to know right now!
OFFSTAGE, EWOKS, LED BY SUBOSHI, SNICKER AND RUN FOR COVER
Jess: (holds head and tries to repress headache) And I was just getting ready to come back.
AngelAsh: Due to the hyjinx going on, we'll be announcing the parts as they come later. For now... On with the show!