Preface: I wrote this story out of sheer frustration. I'd like to make on thing perfectly clear beforehand: I hate Amy Rose.

That is, I hate how she has developed—or rather, how she has not developed. Her primary function has always been insta-hostage. In Sonic Adventure she took a shocking step towards self-sufficiency, but then took a large step backwards in SA2. She was more of a wimp than ever, and even grew dumber (she couldn't tell the difference between Sonic and Shadow at a distance of thirty inches). In Sonic Heroes she re-developed some of her butt-kicking skills but was as shallow (or shallower!) than ever. Sadly, the majority of fanfiction writers are content to leave her woefully underdeveloped and pitiful.

I couldn't stand it. If I'm going to have to put up with Amy Rose (and the people who say that Amy and Sonic are a match) then she's gonna have to be something more than the whining insta-hostage! (I have no intention of rekindling the perennial Sally/Amy flame war, but I'll simply make clear my pro-Sally stance.)

So I wrote this story mainly because I was sick and tired of how worthless a character Amy really was. I wanted so badly for her to matter, to do something to justify her existence; and since no one was doing that, I took it upon myself. It became something of a challenge for me: if you can (logically) make AMY a sympathetic character, you can do anything.

Leather-bound Confessional

Hello, diary! I've decided to keep you as a memoir of my new adulthood. You see, Sonic said he'd never date me until I grew up, and today is my eighteenth birthday. That makes me an adult, and finally able to date him!

Well, I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Amy Rose. I'm a pink hedgehog, which is unusual, but for the most part I'm pretty ordinary. Not like Sonic. He's anything but ordinary. Even if I didn't love him wildly, that would be true.

Since so much of this is about Sonic, I should tell you about him. Sonic is a blue hedgehog, and he's twenty-two now. If I had to say one thing about him, it would be that boy, he can run! Most people can run, but no one runs like Sonic. If you ever see him outrunning robots, dodging all sorts of firepower, smashing his own paths through anything in his way, let me tell you, you sure don't forget it! It's like nothing else in the world. He's the blue blur, he lives for speed. There's no way to describe how he does the things he does. He's very brave and strong and honest and soooo cute!

[Hearts written in margins]

SonAmy4ever!

I must sound like a ditzy schoolgirl. Now come on, can you really blame me? Sonic rescued me when I was twelve, and I've loved him ever since. It's been six years now, and I feel the same way. And can you honestly say that you've been able to think clearly when it came to someone you loved? Well, you can't, of course, you're a diary, but if you were a person I'm sure you couldn't say that.

I guess I should bring you up to speed. When I was twelve, Sonic had a bunch of great battles with Robotnik. (Yes, we called him Eggman to make fun of him, but he's not going to read this, so I might as well use his real name.) As a result, Sonic got rich and famous quickly. He did the smart thing and gave most of the money to Tails, his best friend and kind-of adopted brother; Tails used the money to start some businesses of his own. Sonic, of course, never worked a day in his life; once his celebrity started to cool down, he went back to being a lazy guy. He hangs out at the swimming pools and beaches of the area, he plays with Tails, he goes around and makes the most of his celebrity.

Sonic has two homes. He has an apartment in Station Square, and he also lives with Tails at their old workshop. Aside from that, he goes wherever his feet take him.

He tries to live large, but it doesn't suit him. When it comes down to it, he's just a guy who doesn't want to work—just have fun. I guess that's something I like about him. He doesn't have a worry or care in the world. I mean, he is responsible in that he wants to make sure nothing really bad happens. He's not a crime-fighter, but you can count on him to make his presence felt whenever something big is on the horizon—like when Robotnik tries to come back, or when there's a big war looming.

Oh, gosh, I can't stop thinking about him! I'm sorry, diary, that you have to listen to me rant about Sonic, but I've really made my life all about him!

I have the apartment next to Sonic's. He didn't want us living together, but he sure wasn't going to clean up after himself and, as he said, "There's no one else I trust with my stuff." So he gave me an extra key and rented the next apartment for me and told me to take care of his apartment while he's away.

In all honesty, it's a steal for me. He really doesn't have that much stuff, and although what stuff he has he doesn't try to clean (it's almost like he tries to make it messy) it's no big deal for me to manage it all.

So I make sure there's always food in the refrigerator and clean socks and gloves and at least two extra pairs of shoes always available. I wash his sheets and tidy up after him.

But there's another reason I love to go into his apartment. He has a presence there. Even when he's not there, the feeling of Sonic is everywhere. It's a place he doesn't let anyone else go, so even though I'm not there when he is, it's like our private place. It's a bit of Sonic that he gives me that he won't show anyone else, and I treasure it beyond reason. In a way, that's the closest I get to him.

Yes, I've followed him for years, but he always came up with reasons to dismiss me. Well, he's out of reasons now. I've waited patiently for him, and my time has come!

Tomorrow I'm going to ask him out, and I'm not gonna give up until he says yes. See you then!

2nd Entry

He said yes!

He said yes, he said yes, he said yes, he said yes!

I'm giddy. Can you tell?

I knew he was in his apartment, and I heard him playing a video game so I knew he was awake, so I knocked on his door. I told him that I'd turned eighteen, and he congratulated me, and then I said, "So will you go out with me now?"

Well, of course he said no at first (you know how he is) but after a few minutes he gave me a big smile and said, "I've been waiting a while for this," and said yes!

Oh, I feel so fluttery inside. It's amazing I can sit still and tell all of this to you, I feel like I've got springs in every part of me.

Okay. So I realize that all he did was agree to go out with me, once. But I've got six years of waiting wound up inside me, and it's all ready to burst out of me.

I was so flustered when he said yes, I forgot all about where I'd wanted to go out. When he asked me that, all I could say was, "Where do you want to go?"

Anyway, the result is that we're going to see some movie. I can hardly contain myself! I'm gonna have to go dance or something—I have too much energy!

Well, I'm back (I love it how patient you are, diary!), and I'm feeling better. I went out to the park and danced and twirled until I tired myself out.

I first got into dancing back when I was obsessed with making everything pink. I've gotten a little older and more mature (now I like different shades of red and white, too), but I still like to dance. I had some lessons, and they really got me started, but I never wanted to dance as a job. I wanted to dance because I love to dance. I use the things they taught me, of course, but it's all just for me, and I like that.

Like I said, I went into the park and started dancing. Some people stared at me, and a few made fun of me, but I didn't mind at all. I mean, it is unusual to see a pink hedgehog go dancing through the park, I'd be silly not to know that. But you know what? They must lead sad lives if they don't have anyone who makes them want to dance like that.

So today has been a good day. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight. I don't have the overflowing energy I had before, just a sense of warm satisfaction that's spread from the top of my quills to the tips of my toes.

I'll be sure to tell you how everything goes, okay, diary? Okay.

3rd Entry

Well, that didn't go quite as planned, but I suppose it was still…

Oh, you're the person I'm supposed to be honest with! Alright, try this again.

Tonight was a disaster.

First off, he paid for nothing. The entire time. Okay, he bought his own ticket, but that was it. I bought popcorn for both of us. My plan was that we would eat the popcorn and get thirsty, and I would say to him, "I'm sure thirsty." Then he'd buy us some soda, and I would thank him sooo graciously and tell him how generous and caring he was.

The plan fell apart right at the "we would eat the popcorn" part.

Maybe I'm being unfair. He did follow his part and eat his popcorn. But he followed his part a little too well. He ate all his popcorn, and most of my popcorn. Now don't think that I'll begrudge him a little popcorn, but he took it without even asking, so I never got the chance to say "Sure, Sonic, I'd love for you to have some of my popcorn!" or something sweet like that. So I think to myself, "It's no big deal, the plan can still work." So I say to him, "I'm sure thirsty."

He grunted. Like I was supposed to know what that grunt meant in English.

So I tried again. "I'm really thirsty," I said, in my best "pleading puppy" voice.

And he said to me, "There's a water fountain near the bathroom."

But I didn't give up, oh no. (Now that I think about it, if I'd given up there, it would have been better. But nooo…) Instead I said, "But I want some soda."

To which he said, "There's at least six concession stands in this theater."

"But I want you to get me a soda," I said, and that was my last mistake.

"I'm not getting you a soda," he said rudely. At that point at least four people made very loud shushing noises, which meant that neither of us said anything for the rest of the movie. And if you've ever been in a situation where ill-will was hanging in the air but no one could speak, you know that even when the movie was over we still couldn't talk to each other.

I know you could guess this, but he didn't walk me home, either. He abandoned me at the movie theater, and ran home, so of course I had no chance of catching him to try and talk to him again. I had to take a cab, and when I got back to my apartment there was loud music coming from his. You know, "go away"-type music. I can even hear the stuff now! So I'm going to have to wait… I don't know how long until I see him again.

I, myself, am willing to let what happened tonight slide. I have no idea how he'll take it, and that's what worries me.

And, just to add insult to injury, the movie stunk.

4th entry

Sonic's been away for a few days, so I've had some time to think about everything. That's kind of good, but it's given me some trouble, too.

I have, of course, continued to clean up after him. I visit his home on a daily basis. Yes, I know what you're thinking… if he hasn't been to his apartment for several days, what's the point of keeping on going there? It's just that I want so much to be near him. Like I said before, when I'm there, I feel everything related to Sonic all around me. It's a feeling of being close to him in a way unique to me, just me. It's the feeling that I wish I could get from the actual Sonic.

I went on a walk yesterday, through the same park that I danced through when Sonic agreed to go on that date with me. When I thought about that, it occurred to me just how much of my life revolves around Sonic. I mean, I identify some things based upon their relationship to Sonic. I do have a few friends other than Sonic—but those are all people that Sonic himself knows, like Tails. I wouldn't know them if I didn't know Sonic.

I kinda-sorta feel like I should have more of my own life—but that goes against the very thing I'm trying to do! I mean, if I'm trying to make Sonic and myself come together and be a couple—isn't the point of that to reduce the differences between our lives and create a new, joint life?

Okay, so we aren't a couple yet, I'll admit, but still…

Right now I'm feeling this strange mixture of disappointment and longing. I'm disappointed with both of us, really. I know it would have been unrealistic to imagine us getting really close on the first date, but I actually feel farther apart from him now than I did before we went on the date. That, in turn, increases my longing, the emptiness I feel without him.

Oh, this is awful! I'm supposed to be keeping a diary so that I'll be able to say and write the things I'd have trouble saying or writing elsewhere. But now that I write it, I realize how… how… simple I must sound. I mean, what am I, really? A pink furball who follows Sonic all the time. I can only define myself in terms of Sonic.

And then, when I try to think about that as a problem, I keep telling myself that that's how I want it…

Can you see now why having so much time to think has been a bad thing? It almost makes me wish for the old days, when our lives were so crazy I didn't have the time for reflection. That's an intolerably selfish thing to think, I know, because the days of Robotnik caused a lot of suffering to a lot of people. But still, at least whenever Robotnik took me hostage Sonic saved me, and I wouldn't trade those moments for anything. Why? Because he was so near, and it was so easy for me to tell myself he was rescuing me because he cared for me.

You know, that's weird too. I've been thinking about that a lot recently—did he rescue me because I was a hostage, or did he rescue me because I am me? I've started to realize how often I've projected what I want Sonic to be into his actions—I'm trying to say that I've interpreted him to suit me. I realize that, after all this time.

But realizing that is a problem itself, since now I have to wonder—are all the things I've thought about Sonic true, or are they simply my fantasies? What does he truly think? And trust me, after I've devoted so much of my life to him, not knowing what he thinks is a very scary dilemma.

What I feel now more than ever is desperation for him to return, if for no other reason than to break up my thoughts! It seems like I work better—or at least relate to Sonic better—if I act with my heart instead of my head. I know, that's one reason I keep getting into trouble, but at least then I feel good; right now I feel like my mind is strangling me. I'm scared that if I keep on thinking like this, I'll lose…

… well, I'm not quite sure. But I can't stand it.

5th Entry

What a relief!

Sonic finally came back this afternoon—and be sure to get this right, HE came to ME to apologize for how badly our date went. Yes, I'm shocked too, but extremely grateful.

I heard the knock on my door and answered. It was Sonic. "Thanks for keeping my room clean," he said.

"It's nothing, really," I said, kind of looking away.

He moved his head to catch my eye even as I looked away. I turned back to him, and he said, "I'm sorry for being such a jerk at the movie theater."

Well, you know me, my brain shorted out right about then. I managed to stammer out some thanks to him.

"So, I thought I'd give this a second shot. How 'bout we go to another movie together?"

I thought I might explode when he said that! But somehow, some part of my brain that was still working took over while I stood in shock. That part of me said, "Sure, but let's go to a different movie this time."

"Why?" he said, confused.

"Because that last one was awful!"

We had an argument, but it was a for-fun argument, a between-friends argument. And as we argued and laughed, I kept on struggling to understand that this was really happening.

It's been about an hour now, and I'm pretty sure that it was all real. So that means I have a date for tomorrow night. With any luck, it'll go better than the last one!

But do you know what else this means, diary? It means that Sonic gave a thought to me! He cared enough about what happened to apologize and try again! That's definitely a positive. Maybe I have half a chance, after all.

Do I feel great or what?! It's not just that I feel good about what Sonic did. It's also that I'd been dealing with the weight of uncertainty. It's like a black cloud was following me wherever I went, suffocating me and darkening my mood. Now that it's gone, I feel so much better just by default.

I've got a new chance. After I got so depressed last time, I'll be a little more cautious this time. We'll just see how it goes.