I'm sorry for the dreadful wait. A year is a long time, I know, but I get the chapters out to you as fast as my muse will allow. I beg that you please take the time out to read at least the notes at the very end of this chapter if nothing else. As always, special thanks to Cobalt Violet, who always makes these chapters coherent and presentable. I'd be lost without her, and I'm sure all of you would be too.

Angelike Riddle: Nothing ever bodes well for Remus in this fic, does it? Lol, thank you so much for the review, darling. I'm sorry I've made you wait so long for this.

Gooey: Yes! I do believe I remember you! Thank you SO MUCH for coming back, though. One of my best friends even told me that it was too religious for her taste, but I guess the only defense I can give is that it's a storyline, not me standing on a soapbox preaching my religion. Thankyou for the review and the motivation to help kick my muse into gear! You really helped!

Pafoof: It's an idea that's been in my head for a very long time. It actually started out as an original fiction, but I transformed it into a fanfic instead. I'm really glad that you like it. Here's another chapter, please read more!

Dranzen: I'm so glad you enjoy it! And yes, I rather (secretly) enjoy my Snape myself. I'd definitely take him home with me if I saw him sitting in a bar some place. It's nice to know that my efforts paid off though. The hardest part about writing fanfiction is keeping the characters in character, don't you think? As for the wings, well… They can be very fun and useful during (coughsexcough) every day activity, but they can most definitely fold back. I guess maybe some day I should explain this in my story! Thank you so much for the review and the idea, darling! I hope you're well!

For You

Chapter 17: Liar, Liar

liar, liar, house of fire
and the glass tastes messy; chew it louder
bet your tummy hurts you, you motherfucker
mother never loved you
father touched you with the hand of God --
he's gripping tighter
saying you will burn in hell, they say
you will burn in hell

liar, liar, pants on fire
liar, liar, stop your soul from catching
fire, fire, God and maker
liar, liar, you fucking liar

The Used - Liar Liar (Burn In Hell)

Nobody had ever expected him to make it--not this far. Remus himself would've sworn only five minutes before that his walk down the red carpet would be a walk of shame, not his first step into a better, brighter, more promising future. The war was over. The war was over, Sirius was victorious, and everywhere around them people were rejoicing. Today was a day of celebration, to forget the dark world that'd taken them hand-in-hand to the light. Tomorrow they would grieve for the lives they'd lost, the countless they'd sacrificed. Today was not a day to remember; to mourn. Today was a day reserved for elation.

Today was for freedom.

"You did it," Remus breathed. "It's over. Sirius, it's over! Everything, all of it! We won!"

"We won!" Sirius echoed, shocked enthusiasm coaxing a smile onto his lips. It was almost as if he were hearing the news for the very first time. "Remus, it's all over!"

Cries sounded all around them, jubilant, free; joy unhindered by fear. Nothing could stop them. Their leader was ferocious, beautiful, and powerful. Sirius had won them their freedom. Sirius was their strength.

Sirius was their symbol of hope, the foundation they built upon for victory.

"James, we did it!"

Remus turned, to follow the line of Sirius's eyes to a ragged James, who smiled crookedly and with exhaustion. Wordlessly the shaggy-haired archangel moved to hug his closest friend, to congratulate him breathlessly. And behind him was Severus, just as beautiful in his elation as the rest of them.

But where was Lily?

It didn't make sense; the scene around him was too light and happy for such troublesome thoughts. How could he care so much where Lily was, when she was safe and free? No matter how Remus looked at it, there was no need to think about where she was. She was here, somewhere, celebrating like the rest, and just as happy.

But as Remus turned back to Sirius, it was with a sharp pang to his gut that he realized something was terribly wrong. All around them, darkness poured in like a ravenous creature, thirsting for light with an ominous intent to kill anything standing in its way.

And Sirius. He was too bright. Sirius was going to be consumed by the blanket of hatred sweeping in around them, and Remus was mortified to find them all unaware of its approach. How could they breathe, talk, live with this terrible emptiness creeping in on them so rapidly? (1)

"—" Remus opened his mouth, to cry out a warning, to pull everybody's attention back to what was important, and real, and perched like a cat in waiting just on the edge of their happiness. But there were no words. It was as if somebody had first stolen the thief's ability to speak, and then taken his hearing right after.

Sirius's mouth was working, moving, talking to James. James was smiling, lost in happiness, nodding in acknowledgment of his best friend's words, but there were no words. There was nothing, and, suffocating, Remus suddenly realized that he couldn't breathe.

The heavy darkness was asphyxiating him; punishing him for noticing its presence and trying to warn the others, however unsuccessful. Remus was going to die here, unnoticed, and so was everybody else.

And there, just as his surroundings swam out of view, as his sight was stolen from him as well, he saw Lily. She was there, just under the canopy of a shop, clutching something tight to her chest and screaming. Remus couldn't hear her either, but she reached for him, and Remus fell, abducted by dark and stolen from the light; riding on a wave of crimson that turned from a carpet beneath him into a sea of blood.

And then he was drowning.

"Remus, wake up."

I could hear.

"Remus, wake up!"

I could feel.

"Remus, you have to wake up!"

I could see; light was creeping in the side of my eyes, fading as quickly as it came.

"Remus, breathe you idiot!"

And I found myself no longer grasping in a futile effort to pull myself free from a sanguine(2) grave. I could breathe, and shakily I surfaced on the shores of reality, teetering away from the horrors of my nightmare with a start.

"Sirius," I gasped, eyes wild and frantic—or so I was later told—as I searched for my beautiful lover; seeking my best friend. "Lily."

"They're fine," the voice was calm, but cold. I wasn't used to this voice, with scratching cruelty buried beneath forced civility. It was female, with a suppressed edge of hysteria to it. I'd only ever heard it once, and never had I seen a face to associate it with. "Calm down."

When I'd settled enough to take in what I was seeing, she was sitting just there on a chair placed in the space between my own bed and Lily's. She wasn't ugly, but there was a cruel, cynical edge that rejected beauty, and a maniacal gleam that was poorly hidden in her eyes. For all the differences, though, something about her reminded me of Sirius.

Just across from her, a shocking opposite, though she had the same edge of cruelty—only less severe—was a blonde woman. She stared at me, unshaken, but disturbed. Everything about her was piercing.

"Who are you?" I asked lamely, taking in their appearance. The blonde seemed more proud than the brunette opposite, and inclined her head as I spoke. She averted her eyes down to the work in her hands, and ignored me.

"I'm Bellatrix," came the eerily girlish reply from the brunette. It was as if she was trying to soothe me, to sound more the part of a nurturer or a friend than her appearance gave her credit for. It didn't work, not with the myriad of emotions flitting across her face as she spoke—none of them sane. She looked… excited. "And that's my darling sister Narcissa. Isn't that right, Cissy? We serve under Lord Pollux."

Bellatrix cooed her delight at this last part, though it was a harsh camouflage for the resentment that leaked out with her words. The last three words were bitter, and mocking. "We're his cousins."

I looked at Narcissa, but she didn't seem interested in the conversation between Bellatrix and myself. "What are you two doing here?"

"We're nurse maids," Bellatrix said, and then as if to confirm it, "isn't that right, Cissy?"

Narcissa only looked up for a moment, eyes flitting from Bellatrix to me, and then she nodded once—sharply—before returning to her handiwork. I got the distinct, sudden feeling that she didn't want to be involved in any of this. She looked as if she'd have preferred to be anywhere but at the foot of my bed and in the company of her sister.

"Oh." Ill at ease, I settled back against my pillow and swallowed down air. Then it hit me. "Did something happen to me?"

I hadn't been in bed before.

Bellatrix turned innocent eyes on me, the kind that screamed guilty even as she batted her lashes and opened her mouth as if alarmed that I was asking. "You collapsed, don't you remember?"

Warily, I nodded my head once. I didn't remember, but the last image repeating through my mind didn't leave room for argument. I'd been with James, panicked about Lily, and then there was an uncomfortable blankness after. It was as if I was forgetting something important, some piece to the puzzle that had been there only moments before.

Bellatrix screwed her face up into what I assumed to be a smile, but it looked more like a grimace than anything. There was nothing about her presence that calmed me down. Instead, she put me on edge. Something about her seemed unstable.

"Water," she said after a moment, pushing a glass she'd been holding before up into my line of sight. I stared dumbly at the object, and then reached out against my better judgment to take it.

"Thank you," I said softly, distracted. I'd resolved not to drink it—not until Sirius was here at least. "Where is Siri—Pollux, I mean? Where is Lord Pollux?"

"On business, now drink up. You'll need it for your strength."

But something about her voice was too eager. I smiled weakly, shook my head, and held the glass back out for her to take. I wanted nothing to do with her strange concoction, even though she claimed it to be just water. "I'm not very thirsty, but thank you."

"No, I insist," Bellatrix pressed, pushing the glass back towards me without relieving it from my hands. Something about her insistence wasn't right. It was too demanding. "How do you expect to recover if you don't even take care of yourself?"

But again, I rejected the advice. I held the glass back out for her, and when she pushed my hand back towards me again in a flourish of frustration, I resigned myself to setting it on the table next to my bed. Before the bottom of the glass hit the top, however, she was on me, voice hysteric.

"Drink it, damn you!" she shrieked, startling even Narcissa, who looked up wide-eyed from her work. She looked as if she wanted to move, or say something, but then there was a determined set to her lips, even as her eyes looked on disapprovingly.

"No!" I shouted, suddenly furious. I shoved Bellatrix away from myself, shoving at covers and stumbling backwards out of my bed. I tried my best not to get tangled in the sheets, but found myself on my back regardless.

Bellatrix was there, crouched and looking at me hungrily. Excitement danced in her eyes, curling the edges of her lips up as she panted in delight. Narcissa, too, had moved; she was on her feet now, instead of in her chair.

"Bellatrix," came the sharp voice from the blonde, commanding respect, but somehow weary and frightened. "Stop it."

"Shut up," the brunette crowed at her sister, advancing on me. I backed up, but to no avail. There was no space to move, and I found myself with my back to the wall. "I want him."

Come on, Remus, I coaxed myself, you've escaped situations worse than this. Think, Remus. Think.

"You're going to get caught," Narcissa suddenly said in an undertone, urgent and more afraid now than before. "He won't be pleased with you, if you get us found out."

I didn't understand the cryptic message, and for a moment, I wasn't so sure that Bellatrix did either. She took another stop towards me, ready to pounce, and then suddenly relaxed. There was a high, hysterical laughter that rung around in my ears, and she was moving back to her chair in a graceless dance of limbs. "Did I frighten you, poor, pathetic creature?"

Narcissa stared at me for a moment, and then turned her eyes back onto the bed. She said nothing, but resumed her seat and previous occupation. This time, however, it didn't seem like she was concentrating on what she was doing. It was too sloppy, the way she moved her knitting needles, and the intricate pattern that was on her creation only moments before was becoming distorted and ugly.

For a moment, I didn't move away from the wall, but Bellatrix no longer seemed interested in me. She was rocking herself, eyes closed and humming along to a melody I'd never heard before. My only thought was to get out of there, but then I remembered Lily. I looked at her motionless in her bed, separated from me by the two women. I couldn't leave without her. Where was Sirius? Where was James? Were they really so unaware of the personalities they'd left to look us over?

And then I was saved from my predicament by the sliding open of the door right next to me. I jerked my head back and to the side too fast, knocking it into the wall, but the person who walked through the door made the pain dull considerably. It was Sirius, beautiful Sirius with his glorious black wings trailing in behind him.

I watched, captivated, as one feather fell free from the rest of its ebony siblings, and floating with a dying grace to the floor beside my feet. Sirius noticed me first, taking me in before his eyes hesitantly moved to Bellatrix and Narcissa instead. There was no denying the faint sneer that found its way onto his lips in the wake of his two cousins, and almost immediately, he had a finger pointed towards the door.

"Out," he told them both, voice leaving no room for argument. I watched as Narcissa stilled in her work, motionless only a moment before gathering her few belongings and gaining her feet. She didn't pause to exchange one word between herself and the archangel standing in the way of her only exit, but she waited patiently as he moved aside, allowing her to pass without question.

And then there was Bellatrix, who looked smug, and angry, and elated all at once. I didn't know how it was possible to display so many emotions in one look, but she pulled it off. I realized in that moment that I hadn't been so far off base in thinking that Bellatrix was unstable. She was insane.

"Sirius," she crooned out, voice mocking, in that she used a tone reserved for children. Sirius stiffened noticeably, lips drawing back to reveal a gleaming row of teeth gritted together. "We were just keeping an eye on them like we were told to do."

More elegant now than before, she was on her feet, leaning over my side table to grab her glass of water and bring it to her own lips. There was a shrug, a secretive, threatening glance in my direction, and then she was gone with her 'water' in tow.

"Sirius," I breathed, relief leaking from every pore as I turned to face the dark-haired man beside me and reached without thinking to clutch at his shoulders, to pull myself into a hug. I hadn't even realized that I'd missed touching this man, or that I longed to feel his arms wrap back around me and have his lips pressed against mine.

But Sirius didn't hug me back, or tell me that everything was going to be okay. There were no assuring kisses to make the hard press of his body against mine seem kinder somehow. He stiffened, hardly daring to breathe, and then held me out at arm's length with eyes that scrutinized without trust.

"Remus, what are you doing in here with Lily?"

"I woke up here," I said softly, confused. Didn't James take me here? But Sirius wouldn't let Lily and I be together; James wouldn't take me to Lily. Realization hit me hard, brought on by a wave of intuition. He suspected me. I couldn't believe it, almost choked on the realization, and drew away from Sirius like a wounded animal. "What are you getting at, Sirius?"

For a moment, Sirius didn't move, not even a bat of his lashes before he lowered his eyes and shook his head. "You shouldn't be here," he said gently, and took me into his arms this time, crushing me to his chest as he found the hair on top of my head with his mouth and nose. "You really shouldn't be here, Remus." (3)

I relaxed in his embrace, burying my face into his shoulder and inhaling the soothing scent of his skin. He smelled of cinnamon, sugar, and the soft promise of death. It was alluringly frightening, just like the rest of him: beautiful, but tainted.

"I just woke up here, Sirius. I swear. I was with James and then… And then I don't remember anything. I just woke up here; and Bellatrix… She's crazy, Sirius. I thought she was going to kill me—and her water!"

I sprung back from Sirius, who looked at me startled and then relaxed his embrace enough to let me go when I persisted in my escape. "Sirius, that water she had! I don't… I can't say for sure that it was more than water, but she lost it when I refused to drink it, and she was being so pushy…"

I didn't even realize that I'd been flailing my hands around to animate my explanation until Sirius caught them with a small, breathy laugh, and stilled them against his chest. "She drank from it herself, Remus. You saw her with your own eyes."

And I had. I'd seen the way she made a show of bringing it to her lips, but I shook my head. Something was missing. There was something malevolent in her look, in her persona that didn't sit well with me. "I don't trust her, Sirius. They said something about 'him' getting upset if they were found out. Who is 'him'?"

This piqued the interest of the archangel before me. One eyebrow rose, and then fell, and he was smiling again. It was infuriating, the way he always seemed to be one step ahead of me, or belittling the conclusions I conjured up. "Nobody trusts her, Remus. As for 'him'… They were probably talking about me. They probably thought I'd be angry if I found out they'd moved you into the same room with Lily."

There was an uncomfortable silence that impregnated the room around us, swelling until I forced away the awkwardness by turning to stare at Lily's bed. "Why don't you trust me?" I asked, so soft I wasn't sure he heard me; I could hardly even hear myself.

"I want to," Sirius replied, startling me, "but we can't trust anybody at this point, Remus. Even James is a suspect."

I didn't understand where all the hurt came from. It was a perfectly logical response to the times around us, to the situations presented time and time again, but that he couldn't trust even me stung. "I didn't choose to come here, Sirius. I was supposed to die when you saved me. Why would I try to hurt you?"

But Sirius only smiled, shaking his head, and pulled me close again.

"Just for today, Remus… I just want to have today for me and you, before everything turns upside down. Can you give me that, Rem? Just one day without doubt, or fear?"

I couldn't read his expression with my face pressed into his chest, but I could hear a note in his voice that had never been there before—that terrified me with just its possibilities. There isn't a wide enough range in vocabulary to explain it, because it was forlorn, and angry, and mocking, and everything not-Sirius. He was scared, I concluded only moments later.

I'd spent nights awake, waiting for him to come home. Weeks, and months, I waited for him to come home from battles, to know he was okay, to come and save me from my loneliness and self-loathing. Years, I thought, no—an eternity I would wait for him. Until I took my last glimpse of life with me into death, I would give him a thousand days without doubt, a thousand nights without fear. Today was just one of many, I knew, and I took comfort in the thought that even if it was just for today; even if it was just this one time, and never again after this, for once, just this once, I would be the one saving him.

"Yes," I whispered, caught off-guard by his sudden demeanor, "of course, Sirius."

Severus didn't fancy himself back in the clutches of Lord Voldemort so soon. He would rather have cut off his own head and pranced about meadows down below like an unsuspecting fool than face his 'master' with the fact that he'd failed one very important mission before coming back. Severus hadn't killed Sirius.

"Snape," came the voice from behind a high-back chair, its speaker hidden, "back so soon?"

"Forgive me, my Lord, but I seem to have run into some rather interesting information while I was out."

"Did you kill him, Severus?" Voldemort's voice was silky now, a harsh coo that belonged to a snake. It was venomous, deadly, and made even Severus hesitate before he answered him.

"No," was the soft reply.

For only a moment, there was silence. Peter, who had somehow become a long-standing companion to Voldemort, looked from the man in the emerald chair to Severus. There was fear alight in his eyes, and from head to toe, the tiny man started to tremble. Severus never had been able to see why James had taken Pettigrew for a lover. He was mousy, and while Severus wouldn't call him ugly, he was certainly unattractive. Lily, he silently concluded, was the better choice. He was almost glad that James had changed his mind. Almost.

"No?" Voldemort echoed after a moment. Severus saw the man's hand on the arm of the chair first, before he was on his feet, head emerging from around the back along with the rest of his body. He looked elegant in sweeping robes, but never beautiful. "Why not, Severus?"

"There's been unrest at the castle, my lord. The archangel girl, Lily, she was poisoned. You wouldn't have had any hand of this, would you?"

"Certainly not," Voldemort said, anger forgotten as he turned contemplative instead. "What do I have to gain from taking her life? No, Severus. It is Black I wish to kill."

Severus remained motionless, silent. He knew his place when in the presence of this man. It was nothing like the atmosphere that surrounded Sirius. Sirius, while terrifying, allowed room for jokes, and jabs. He was young, deviant, and loved pranks just as well as the next man. Voldemort, however, didn't like to be interrupted, or disturbed. Speak only when spoken too. This was the golden rule.

"Well, this makes things a bit more interesting, doesn't it? I'm not angry, Severus. I'm glad you didn't kill Sirius, because I've decided that I'd like to finish him off myself. How would I look if I had one of my subordinates finish my grand task for me? No, no. We can't have that, Severus. Leave him for me."

Severus just bowed his head once, eyes downcast to hide the relief he knew was lurking beneath the surface of them right now. Peter, observant, leaned closer as if to get a better look. Thinking better of it, however, he shook his head and rocked back on his heels. Maybe, Severus thought, he'd rather not catch Voldemort's gaze by drawing attention to him.

"You'll have to keep me updated on this turn of events. It's almost exciting; to think that it's a game now. I'll have to get to him before anybody else does. Peter," he barked suddenly, and the tiny man jerked straight, watery eyes settling on his Master as trembling lips opened, and then closed, "get Lucius in here. I need to talk to him. The plans for our next attack will have to be moved up. It needs to happen sooner rather than later."

Peter bowed his head, "My lord," he said, and left quickly. Before the door shut, Severus swore he saw some tension that had been evident only moments before leaving the tiny man's shoulders. What must it be like, Severus wondered, to be under the constant observation (4) of such a terrible, terrible man?

"Severus, you may leave me. I wish to be alone with my Nagini." And there, where Severus hadn't noticed her before, stood a woman. She was ugly, Severus thought at first. She reminded him of a snake, or something other than an ethereal being. He was repulsed as he watched her watch him, even as she moved to Voldemort and leaned over him far enough to kiss him squarely on the lips. The scene was quickly turning lewd, and ducking his head once, Severus moved quickly for the door.

It wasn't until it had clicked shut behind him that Severus remembered how to breathe. Sirius would be relieved that none of these attacks against Lily, possibly to get to the Leader himself, had anything to do with Voldemort. They'd already concluded that it was a personal vendetta, but now they had proof.

"Who is it then?" Severus wondered aloud, bundling himself tightly in the cape falling over his shoulders.

It was more unsettling, he decided, not knowing.

Author's Notes:

(1: ) My amazing beta reader brought it to my attention that this didn't exactly make sense. I looked it over a couple of times, and couldn't think of a way to explain it. She'd asked if Remus could see the darkness, because in her mind she envisioned something not unlike a black aura. This is where I ran into trouble explaining. The only words that came to my mind to describe it were 'The curtains coming to a close on a well lit stage." It's not a physical darkness, but a visionary one. Again, this doesn't make very much sense. I guess you could picture it like a storm moving in, how the sky gets dark, and takes everything else with it. I know I fail as a writer because I couldn't think of a way to work this into the piece outside of an author's note, but I hope this helps.

(2: ) Cobalt catches everything, I swear it. She said 'sanguine' was a word to describe happiness, or something of the sort. Maybe it's an American thing to have never heard it used that way? I was always taught and told that it was another word to describe the color of blood. Naturally, I consulted the dictionary:

sanguine:

Adjective
1. a. Of the color of blood; red. b. Of a healthy reddish color; ruddy: a sanguine complexion.

Let it be known that I am not going against Cobalt! Merely explaining why I used this word and didn't change it.

(3: ) Once again, it was Cobalt who brought this to my attention. She really is super amazing. She pretty much said, "But wasn't Sirius there when Remus collapsed?" The answer is no. Lily was the one who collapsed, and Sirius took her away while James took Remus. Remus wanted to see Lily, and there was no explanation left as to what happened to them after that. The scene took an abrupt change and focused instead on James, Sirius, and Severus. This is where the unpleasant blank-spot Remus is having kicks in. Remus doesn't even remember collapsing, or what happened after walking out of the room with James.

(4: ) Thank you for this, Colby-baby! She gave me the word 'observant' to toss in there, and it was such a wonderful suggestion. Praise her!

I apologize again for the year-long wait in getting this next chapter out to the lot of you. I haven't forgotten you, and you're all still my dears! It's just hard to write when your muse smacks straight into that little wall we all affectionately refer to as 'Writer's Block'. The story has, unfortunately, strayed from my original vision, and the chapters are rather elementary and immature. I plan on fixing all of this, and rewriting until it's touched up to the way I like it, and the way I'd wanted it to be.

I'm apologizing because this will probably take a very long time to achieve. Please be patient with me, and stay as amazing as always. I hope everything in everybody's lives is going well right now! And as always (though no one ever does), go ahead and pitch an idea for a drabble in my direction if you'd like to! It'll give me something to give you in the mean time while you all wait. So much love!

Plushii