A Cat's Tale
By: Catty Engles Reporter for the Daily Gazette and very annoyed one at that
Edition First: Exposition Expedition
Once Upon a Time there was a beautiful princess who wore only the best of gowns, ate the finest of foods, and was courted by the handsomest princes. She lived in a castle with fourteen towers and a dining hall bigger than the village square.
But this is not her story.
I am stickish with big eyes but small lips and nose- pretty enough. I wear department store closeouts, eat Chinese Takeout each night, and the guy in the cubicle by the window with the dandruff clouds around his shoulders keeps shooting me furtive glances over his inch thick glasses. I live on the fourteenth floor and share a bathroom with all the rest of that floor's residents.
Nice to meet you, I'm Catty Engles, assistant intern to the Daily Gazette. That's said in a nice way, the girl who gets the jobs the stuffed shirt fast-talking megalomaniacal clock-pushing penny-grubbing bosses shovel out to those unfortunate enough to be under them in the economical food chain. Not only is the view less than appealing, these are mostly documentaries. Nasty documentaries that are usually followed by lawsuits, appeals, and hush money.
Crunch Crunch Crunch. Gravel. You'd think the Teen Titans could come up with something a bit more glamorous. Oh yes, I've heard of them, what struggling, dirt-poor intern who's been kicked in the seat of the mini- skirt one too many times hasn't? The corny catchphrases, the superpowers, but above all the melodramatics of adolescents living by themselves. Any self-respecting city would send over a squadron of heavily armed social security workers and ship these kiddies off to Toxic Control- express mail.
But no. They sent me.
So here I'm standing at the base of the most ostentatious trademark this side of Barney, they call it the T-Tower, waiting for one of the Fab Five to open the door. Waiting does not suit any reporter be it me or the big cheese, Slick Boulderdash. He's the big shot gone to seed, but still convinces himself he looks good in Armani. He wears the three-piece suit with pinz nez glasses balanced on his lump of a nose. His sausage roll fingers ruffled papers on his desk when he summoned me into his office. He coughed wetly and importantly as he bestowed upon me the knowledge of my fate. To interview the Titans. I swear, the look on his face could be compared to Santa Clause pulling an extra large package out of his sack.
I ruffle my short-cropped brown bob, smooth my eyebrows, check my teeth for lipstick in the handheld- he wanted the dirt. Slick was looking for a new angle on the Titans. Superhuman Teen Wonders was exhausted. He wanted the grit on the group, and I was the lowlife who would give it to him- for a price.
At the office I'm not much of a worthwhile, must keep kind of gal, but my ace in the hole is computer skills. This manifests itself usually in the form of the copy machine. Whenever it needs new ink, new paper, or is just outright jammed I'm the girl all the workers track down. I'm just good with electronics, too bad no one realizes that this could be a worthwhile must keep kind of skill.
Boy, these kids could be CEOs at the rate they answer their door. Click. The door opens. Okay, well, IRS reimbursement statements at the least. Take a big breath Miss Catty, and watch your journalism degree rot in the squalor of-
"Hello, I'm Catty Engles, reporter for the Daily Gazette. I'm here for the documentary appointment." Oh no it's that green boy. He looks like I've just handed him a trigonometric ratio.
"Uh, hi, I'm Beastboy." His voice is grainy and squeaky at the same time, the sound of recent breaking. Sheesh, how old are these kids, really?
"Of course, I know who you are!" Condescending yet flirtatious at the same time, best way to keep professionally provocative. Forget the stomach, ladies, precedent tells us to shoot straight for the hormones.
"So BB, is that okay if I call you that?" No pause, it's a reporter thing, "The whole town knows who you are, what you do, how you fight, what you're like, do you ever feel like you're living in a-"
CRASH.
Haha, that was long but at least it was boring. Don't worry, like the title says this is exposition, action does come later. Hint hint, don't forget about the mini-recorder.