April 22

Albus stood in the door to Severus' office, watching the Potions master work. The last four months had seen a steady decline in the younger wizard's health, and the spark of vitality that had been there around Christmas had all but vanished now, much to the Headmaster's sorrow. It had begun in the middle of January, when Aislinn had made her excuses to them all, saying she needed a long weekend away from Hogwarts. Dumbledore had granted it without question, and she'd left right after classes on Friday. That was the last time anyone had seen her in the school.

The following Wednesday, an owl had brought a message to the Headmaster, asking him to go into London, giving an address, saying it was a matter of some urgency, and he had gone. To his surprise, and great sorrow, he'd met with Aislinn, and she had explained to him, but had wrenched a promise that he not tell Severus until she sent word. He had agreed. Reluctantly, but he had agreed. After all, for once her logic was flawless—there was nothing that could be done to change the circumstances, but Severus was not likely to let it go at that. He would have tried.

As Albus watched him now, he wondered if he had made the right decision. The last four months had been cruel to Severus, and Albus had little confidence that this afternoon would atone. Explain, yes, but not atone. The shimmer in the Headmaster's blue eyes was not the twinkling of humor, for once, and he took a deep breath and knocked on the open door.

Severus lifted his head, his hair more lank and unkempt than ever and framing a face that had become little more than a carving of prominent cheekbones and chin and sallow skin stretched tight across the bone. His eyes were sunken, rimmed with purple, bloodshot as though he wasn't sleeping, and Albus rather suspected that was the case. His mood had returned to the dark, biting bitterness that had so long defined him, and if anything, he seemed more scathing than he had ever been. There was more sarcasm in his voice, more sneers on his lips. Albus didn't think the man had smiled once since Aislinn had failed to return.

"May I help you, Headmaster?" Formal, tight with fatigue, Severus' voice was polite and yet empty-sounding, his words hollow.

Albus stepped inside and closed the door behind him. "There is something I wish to discuss with you, Severus," he said quietly. "Come, sit with me." With a wave of his wand, Albus conjured a plush sofa and sat on it, patting the cushion beside him.

Severus humored him, but it was evident that that was all he was doing. Humoring an old man whom he liked. Albus had no sense of false modesty; he knew that he shared a special bond with Severus, and that there was a mutual sense of caring and respect between them. Albus would have given his life for Severus, and trusted the man with not only his life, but the lives of others. How was he to find the words for this?

Once Severus was settled, Albus turned slightly towards him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "There is something I must tell you, Severus," he said, struggling to keep his voice devoid of emotion. "Something you do not wish to hear, I fear."

"There is nothing you can say that will upset me, Headmaster." It was a confident statement, though a defeated one.

How I wish that were true, my boy, he thought. "It is about Aislinn." Severus flinched, but said nothing, so Albus kept speaking. "I am afraid that I have not been entirely honest with you, Severus. I have known her whereabouts since January."

Severus turned a horrified, yet empty stare towards him, and Albus had to resist the urge to gather the younger man into his arms. "You have known since January," he whispered. "Then she is not coming back." It was a flat statement, and Albus' heart ached for him.

"No," he admitted quietly, "I'm afraid she is not." There was a moment of silence, and Albus watched carefully, his keen eyes scrutinizing Severus' response. The response was minimal.

"Where is she?" he asked, his voice more hollow and distant than ever.

Albus squeezed his shoulder lightly. "She has been in London, staying with friends," he said carefully.

Severus nodded. "She found someone else." It wasn't a question, but a statement of fact, and Albus could almost feel the pain the other man was fighting, and again he resisted the urge to pull him into his arms.

"No," he replied softly. "Severus," he waited for the other man to turn to look at him, hollow black eyes meeting blue. "Did Aislinn ever tell you about the illness she battled as a child?"

He nodded slowly. "She had cancer," he whispered. "That was where we went Chirstmas Eve. To the hospital where she had her treatment. We helped organize a Christmas Miracle for the children."

Albus breathed a sigh of relief, a double-sided relief. That Severus knew that much made this explanation that much easier, and there was a thickness to the potions master's voice that was the first indication of emotion that Albus had witnessed from him since Aislinn's disappearance. Painful as he knew it was going to be, it was a blessing that Severus did still have the capacity for emotion. It was a constant worry, that he would lose that ability all together, and when he did lose it, Albus feared that he would lose Severus.

"Her cancer returned," he whispered softly. "The headaches she had been having, they were symptoms of it. She had a tumor, and it put pressure against her brain." Severus had stiffened, and his mouth was open, as though he wanted to say something but the words were frozen in his mouth. "She went to a Muggle hospital in January, to have tests, and they found the cancer. She summoned me, and gave me her resignation, and asked me not to tell you." And for the life of me, I don't know that I made the right decision in granting her request.

"She's been in the hospital for four months," Severus whispered hoarsely. "She's so frightened of the hospital…"

Albus closed his eyes briefly, and moved his hand to Severus'. "No, my boy," he whispered. "She did not wish to be in a hospital."

Severus looked at him, something akin to hope in his eyes. "She is better now, though? The treatments… she said they were horrible, but she is…" Albus felt a warm moisture on his cheeks, and he didn't have to say anything for Severus to know the asnwer. The younger man shook his head. "No…" he whispered.

"I am so sorry, my boy," Albus whispered, finally pulling Severus into his arms, dismayed at how easily he came.

"But it's curable…"

Albus closed his eyes again and stroked Severus' hair. "Not always," he whispered against the younger man's ears. "The type she had this time is very seldom cured."

"Then she is…" Albus pulled away from him again, and touched Severus' neck.

"Yes," he whispered, "She is gone."

Blue eyes searched the gaunt face for a sign of tears, but there were none. He took Severus' hands and squeezed gently, but there was no response. He moved a lock of limp hair from Severus' face, but the other man didn't not seem to notice. His eyes were unfocused, staring blankly, but there was no sign of emotion or response to be seen. After a long, silent moment, Severus stood.

"Thank you for telling me, Headmaster," he whispered, the words hollow.

Albus stood, and a flick of his wand made the sofa disappear. "If you need me," he said softly, "you know how to find me. Please, Severus, do not try to make this go away. Do not try to face it alone."

Severus nodded distantly, and Albus knew that he would not come to him. Cry, he begged silently. Be human. You have lost the woman you loved, and found that a man you trusted had kept her secret until you could not tell her how you loved her. Cry. Shout. Sob. React somehow.

There was no reaction at all, and Albus let himself out of Severus' office, his heart breaking enough for the both of them.

A/N

And that's all she wrote! About five chapters in, I knew what was going to happen. About fifteen chapters in, I wrote chapter one of the fic that comes after this one (Check out "Bittersweet" for the continuing story). Around Chapter 25, I realized that this entire fic was something to the effect of the world's longest prologue to "Bittersweet" (the first chapter of which I'm posting as soon as I finish posting this chapter.)

I told you I don't favor Hollywood endings!

Thank you all for your time and reviews!

Dazz