Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT. I wish I did, though. LOL! I can only dream to. I also don't own the song "High Wire Escape Artist", song by Boy Sets Fire.
Warning: This fic may contain some harsh language and maybe some violence. Thank you all for reviewing my story, because it really means a lot to me. I hope you guys will like this chapter! THE CHAPTERS ARE GETTING DARKER!!
Sorry for the wait. ;; School work and homework sucks! If you don't like angst and darkness… well, to each his own. HAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!! I'm trying to get this story up and going by Halloween. I hope I get to the good stuff by then. Sorry for this short chapter. I'll try to make the chapters longer than this. Ummmm… what else? I dunno. LOL I just had to type this here, didn't I? P
SILENCE
Chapter 11
By Raphangela
Bleed out all empathy
This vessel has no spirit left to hold on
To lies I've lived in full
Michelangelo lies mutely on his bed, on his side with his right hand tucked underneath his pillow. He listens to the commotion that's going on outside of the room. He hears everything that's going on, even the ramblings of his now former master. He wishes that he had shut the bedroom door, but he dared not get up nor to look outside pass the room's door. He stayed on his bed, laying there quietly with a troubled grin on his face. His pupils dart quickly toward every sound that echoes through the dim lit room.
How long can I hold tight with every movement
Tension binds and denies my true nature
He hears his brother, Donatello, click endlessly on his processor. Don's probably working on another research project of his or is planning on building something, to Michelangelo it no longer matters. Don is always good at that, much better than anyone, especially Mikey as a matter of fact. Even though Mikey never had showed it, it always hurts him to see how everyone admires Don for his mechanical and scientific skills. It hurts him to see how much praise Don gets with his scientific discoveries, while Mikey himself only got smacked in the head for being the way he was. To them, all of them, he is nothing but a fool, a setback, and an idiot that is incapable of learning. To them, he is completely immature and is a liability, something that Don isn't. In their eyes, he will never match up to his brother's genius. He is nothing but the lab monkey that doesn't get any of the credit, while the scientist gets all it.
The balance has shifted warped sick and twisted
Grabbing at angels when I fall
Because I am more than this idol endless recital
For all my demons to applaud
I am free
Mikey's eyes shift over to another sound, which was coming from his ever so perfect brother, Leonardo. Leonardo is training again, just like he always does when he's not worrying like the worrywart that he is. Leonardo, always has perfected every skill, every move, everything. He is the apple of Splinter's eye, the cream-of-the-crop, and always better at everything. His family and friends always admire him the most, mainly for his leadership abilities that were pointed exactly to and were given to him. It isn't safe to accuse Splinter or anyone for this; freaks like his family would have your neck for that. Everyone always protected or felt sorry for Leo, never ever paying attention to one of the sidelines that were in need, more than likely it's is Mikey. Leonardo always got the emotional support that he could never possibly fathom. He always got everything he wanted and has everything that one can only dream of. He has family back-up, he has friends, skills, popularity, admiration, he's loved, and most importantly he's the appointed leader. Even though he has all this and even more, he's always striving to be better than the rest even though he is the selected best-of-the-best. He has always bossed his brothers and him around, yet no one besides Raph ever seemed show that they mind it. Leo always made Mikey feel like he's wrong, that all Mikey does is wrong and that Leo's way is the right way. He always made Mikey feel like he's not good enough, that Mikey isn't serious enough like he should be. Leo will always be the perfect son, the perfect brother, and the perfect friend that everyone loves and cares SO much about. Mikey will never feel or get amount of anything that Leo has. Just thinking about it makes Mikey so upset that it makes him want to cry.
Hide myself from it all while every fear is
Screaming night into dawn until I find
Fighting the urge of letting his tears spill out, Mikey shifts eyes toward another sound that has caught his attention. He hears their "prison master" ramble on about how Mikey acted earlier to them. Mikey glares and growls in his throat when hearing the old vermin's voice box, hearing how the rat so disapproved of his behavior. 'Old and cantankerous scumbag,' Mikey thinks grimly, a dark frown upon his face. 'I wish he'd just shut the hell up with his idiotic bickering. He makes me SO SICK!' Mikey growls and then punches his pillow violently. Mikey's heart begins to ache with utter hate when recalling all of the times the rat disapproved of him and his actions. The bastard of a rat always got onto him more than the others. He is always doing wrong in the rat's eyes. All Splinter got onto Raph for was his temper, but Mikey always gets so much more than that. Mikey curses himself for ever allowing himself to think that he loved the old pest to begin with. Sure the rat took them in, but Mikey always seems to feel like he's not wanted or isn't good enough to be in such a family of better and more focusing students. All Mikey ever wanted to do was have fun and even help people, but that is not enough for the rat, though. The rat always told him what to do and how to do it, making Mikey feel even worse about he himself. Splinter always told him to never forget that he is ninja, but he also told him that Mikey must choose a path for himself. Mikey must choose a direction, even though Splinter and his brother forcefully try to choose it for him.
The balance has shifted warped sick and twisted
Grabbing at angels when I fall
Because I am more than this idol endless recital
For all my demons to applaud
I am free
As Mikey thinks of it, his hate grows stronger and stronger. He feels a great unrest and something is tugging at his darkening heart. He feels strange and overwhelming desires that he has never felt before, desires that feel dark, desolate, and entirely sinful. Mikey begins to shiver furiously as he tosses and turns in utter turmoil on his bed. He hates his life; he repeats and admits in his thoughts. He hates his friends, his brothers, and even his horrible Sensei. He hates them so much it makes him want to puke and gag, even worse, it makes him want to make them just fall over and die miserably. Overwhelming desires of wanting to hurt them fill his sickening and darkening heart. An undying sensation fills his body; his body tingles as he smirks evilly to himself.
I have to believe them (lies)
In order to attain fulfillment
I have to succumb to (lies)
All my inner fears that tear at me
I will never believe them (lies)
I'm sick of the weakness that controls me-
Now that I've fallen-
He has new desires now, desires to slaughter all who stand against him and to kill his enemies. He no longer feels the desire to help those who in term will never help or give appreciation for. Why help everyone else when there's nothing for him to gain from? Everyone always made fun of him, used him, and mistreated him and took him for granted. It hurts so badly to be treated like this. They act as if he deserves every ounce of agony he gets and that they hate him for who he was. Mikey will never be good enough for his adopted family and no one has ever known Mikey to begin with. He has never had any true friends, people either turned out to be using him or betraying him. He hates it; he hates it all SO much and he's sick and tired of it! 'If only I can just crush them, maybe they'd know the torment and pain I go through just to get them to smile.' He coldly thinks to himself. 'It's not like they ever found me funny for my jokes, anyway. They only laugh at me when I suffer.
I WILL NOT REPENT!!
'From now on, I'll turn the tables on them. Instead of them laughing at me, I'll laugh at them as I make them suffer terribly! They'll pay for what they do to me! They'll all pay! Mark my word they'll pay dearly, especially my brothers and that disgusting rat! I'll make them all know not to mess with me! I'll make them suffer and become their worst nightmare! For now on, I'll fight for no one, only for myself and for whatever desires I have. They're not my family, not anymore. I don't have a family, nor do I need one! I am not the weakling that they claimed me to be and I'll prove that to them! I'll watch and laugh evilly as they see me bathe and drink in their blood! I'll destroy them all, starting with…the rat!'
The balance has shifted warped sick and twisted
Grabbing at angels when I fall
Because I am more than this idol endless recital
For all my demons to applaud
I am free
He snickers callously to himself as he thinks, 'I will destroy them all!'
To Be Continued
Made it this far? I'm surprised. LOL! Anyway, we can all see where this is going. I hope you all do. LOL If you don't, then you'll just have to wait and see for yourself.