Summary- Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are lost in the muggle world
together after a spell goes terribly wrong. Just.....read on. It'll be
good, I swear.
Rating- R, because I curse too much for my own good and because I'll probably put in something slashified in the naughty department at some point.
Author- Whoa Tamo the Psychic Spade biatch.
Authoress Ramblings- Hello one and all! I've decided since my dramatic story did NOT work out (Stay calm Whoa......it's not their fault they didn't read.....well it is, but stay calm) I have decided to go back to my humor writing, as you people seem to respond to it more. Shame on you.....my other piece was very good and I worked hard on it, but NOO, you want this crap I threw together. Er, I didn't mean that! It's the sleepy talking! Damnit Whoa, you just lost another reader.......shit. Well, I hope you like this story......it has a pretty funny idea behind it, and I'm just hoping I make it as funny as it really is and all that crap. Damnit I'm babbling! I'm like fucking babbling brook.... Slaps head I've already cursed.....it's the first chapter in the AUTHORESS RAMBLINGS and I've already cursed.....OK, just read on.
Chapter One- Muggle Mania!
Draco Malfoy was just like any other wizard. He was polite, considerate, respectable, nice, well-groomed, loyal, friendly and above all, he was devilishly handsome. No one could deny it! His gorgeous looks were a force to be reckoned with! You could not deny the hotness of a Malfoy! Yet some people tried to, and that only made them jealous....like Potter for instance, he was extremely jealous of Draco Malfoy, I mean come on, with those stupid glasses of his and his friends and...ugh.....the list goes on and on. I mean Potter just didn't fit IN with the wizards; he was riffraff is what he was. So of course Potter blamed Draco 'Best Person Alive' Malfoy for their recent predicament.
It happened exactly like this. Potter, being the ever jealous nasty little piece of shit he was decided to start a duel between himself and Draco. What a laugh he was! Absolutely PATHETIC. After a while he was crying out "Oh! Please don't hurt me sir! I'm just a misunderstood child with a weird scar! Ow! I have a headache! Ugh! Don't kill me!" and all that cal....now most people would just finish the little brat off, but remember, Draco was kind and considerate, and he decided he had had enough. Well you won't believe what he did! While Draco had his back turned, Potter had the NERVE to attack him with a re-location spell! Well, being the dolt he was, Potter sent Draco 'Perfect' Malfoy and himself away to muggle America.....actually, it was more like smack-dab, dumb-fuck NOTHING except for a few cacti and annoying dessert America. It was obviously all Potter's fault, yet he forced the blame onto Draco! I mean really, what an insufferable GIT Potter was! That annoying, stupid, big-mouthed......
"Malfoy! Would you stop writing on that stupid parchment and help me out?!" Harry was starting to get frustrated....very, very frustrated. He was trapped in the middle of fucking nowhere with one of his enemies.....and to make all matters worse they were in America. Why did he have to try and transport him to Devil's Gorge?! Harry sighed an waved his shirt around anxiously trying to catch the attention of anybody that could transport them to civilization. He turned back to his 'accomplice' and gave an exasperated sigh. "COULD YOU HELP ME OUT HERE?!"
Draco looked up from his parchment with an angered look on his face, then stood up off the side of the road. He wiped his butt of any dust and proceeded to glare at Harry. When he finally spoke his voice was icy enough to almost cool them down. "Let me tell you something you imbecile. It is YOUR fault we are lost in America, and I'll be damned if I have to help you fix your own mistakes."
The boy-who-lived rolled his eyes. "Oh right Malfoy...yeah, it's my fault you're the greatest arse in the world and you have to insult me every single time you see me."
Draco quirked an eyebrow and grabbed his own buttocks. "Oh, so now I've got the greatest arse in the world, is that it? Maybe you should stop being such a pervert and put your sweaty shirt back on, hmm? Maybe you should also keep your eyes in your sockets, aye?"
The other boy threw his shirt at the blonde and growled at him in a dog-like style. "You're sick. You know what I very well meant, so keep that disgusting mind of your out of the gutter." Harry's face met Draco's school bag seconds later.
"Keep MY mind out of the gutter?! I know what YOU meant?! Who do you think I am, Weasel?! I will keep my mind wherever I bloody well like it, and I do not think it is my duty to interpret 'Gryffindor' speech. So why don't you make yourself useful and get a fucking life?! Oh, and do me a favor, really, PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON!" He then threw the sweaty article of clothing into Harry's face, which contorted in disgust upon contact. "You're such a fucking Eagle Scout, you know that?! 'Oh, I'll just take off my shirt to flag help to us'. Yeah, right. Potter, you are worse here then you are at Hogwarts. I mean honestly, we get it already, you stopped Voldemort when you were fucking baby...just get the fuck over it!" Draco then snatched his bag back from Harry and huffed as he sat on the side of the road once more.
Harry yelled out in anger, but stopped when a rather large gust of wind blew a cloud of dust into his mouth. The raven haired boy stormed over to the side of the road and was about to give the other boy a good screaming at when suddenly a truck stopped in front of them and the passenger's window rolled down. A man's head with a hat that said 'Foxy Grandpa' popped out of the window and looked down at the two boys. He put an arm out the window as well and gave a grin that had one glinting gold tooth in it. "Likes like you boys could use some help."
Oh my sweet whatever.....I have actually finished the first chapter of a story.....I am so happy! It has been FOREVER since I've actually finished the first chapter to.....well......anything! Please review my story, I would very much appreciate that......oh, if you're wondering about the first two paragraphs, that was Draco writing on the parchment.....I don't know what the fuck he's exactly doing, but I do stuff like that a lot and I figured ince I'm a lot like Draco Malfoy it would fit if he did it, too. Besides....mine are always pretty humorous....then again I babble on about random shit. Oh, sorry for the language, but I have a big problem with cursing! It's a travesty I says! An absolute travesty! Anymoose, I hope you enjoyed this, and I WILL write more if you REVIEW.....I will I will I WILL. Just review. If you don't review then I'm not fucking continuing this....and I swear it only gets better....I mean come on, the first chapter is always one of the worst because it has to introduce us to the situation, blah blah blah......but like I said, I swear the other chapters just get better! This story is being written on sugar over-doses late at night by a psychotic teenager! I mean COME ON! What produces better humor then that other then drug induced cartoons (Ren and Stimpy, heh)? YARGH I AM BABBLING! Well, please review....I will reward you if you review.......if you're extra super-duper nice in your reviews then I will take suggestions for things to happen to them.......but YOU MUST REVIEW. OK, stop reading my random shit and REVIEW ALREADY.
Over and out from Whoa Tamo, the Psychic Spade
PS- Seriously......Ren and Stimpy was the shit.
Rating- R, because I curse too much for my own good and because I'll probably put in something slashified in the naughty department at some point.
Author- Whoa Tamo the Psychic Spade biatch.
Authoress Ramblings- Hello one and all! I've decided since my dramatic story did NOT work out (Stay calm Whoa......it's not their fault they didn't read.....well it is, but stay calm) I have decided to go back to my humor writing, as you people seem to respond to it more. Shame on you.....my other piece was very good and I worked hard on it, but NOO, you want this crap I threw together. Er, I didn't mean that! It's the sleepy talking! Damnit Whoa, you just lost another reader.......shit. Well, I hope you like this story......it has a pretty funny idea behind it, and I'm just hoping I make it as funny as it really is and all that crap. Damnit I'm babbling! I'm like fucking babbling brook.... Slaps head I've already cursed.....it's the first chapter in the AUTHORESS RAMBLINGS and I've already cursed.....OK, just read on.
Chapter One- Muggle Mania!
Draco Malfoy was just like any other wizard. He was polite, considerate, respectable, nice, well-groomed, loyal, friendly and above all, he was devilishly handsome. No one could deny it! His gorgeous looks were a force to be reckoned with! You could not deny the hotness of a Malfoy! Yet some people tried to, and that only made them jealous....like Potter for instance, he was extremely jealous of Draco Malfoy, I mean come on, with those stupid glasses of his and his friends and...ugh.....the list goes on and on. I mean Potter just didn't fit IN with the wizards; he was riffraff is what he was. So of course Potter blamed Draco 'Best Person Alive' Malfoy for their recent predicament.
It happened exactly like this. Potter, being the ever jealous nasty little piece of shit he was decided to start a duel between himself and Draco. What a laugh he was! Absolutely PATHETIC. After a while he was crying out "Oh! Please don't hurt me sir! I'm just a misunderstood child with a weird scar! Ow! I have a headache! Ugh! Don't kill me!" and all that cal....now most people would just finish the little brat off, but remember, Draco was kind and considerate, and he decided he had had enough. Well you won't believe what he did! While Draco had his back turned, Potter had the NERVE to attack him with a re-location spell! Well, being the dolt he was, Potter sent Draco 'Perfect' Malfoy and himself away to muggle America.....actually, it was more like smack-dab, dumb-fuck NOTHING except for a few cacti and annoying dessert America. It was obviously all Potter's fault, yet he forced the blame onto Draco! I mean really, what an insufferable GIT Potter was! That annoying, stupid, big-mouthed......
"Malfoy! Would you stop writing on that stupid parchment and help me out?!" Harry was starting to get frustrated....very, very frustrated. He was trapped in the middle of fucking nowhere with one of his enemies.....and to make all matters worse they were in America. Why did he have to try and transport him to Devil's Gorge?! Harry sighed an waved his shirt around anxiously trying to catch the attention of anybody that could transport them to civilization. He turned back to his 'accomplice' and gave an exasperated sigh. "COULD YOU HELP ME OUT HERE?!"
Draco looked up from his parchment with an angered look on his face, then stood up off the side of the road. He wiped his butt of any dust and proceeded to glare at Harry. When he finally spoke his voice was icy enough to almost cool them down. "Let me tell you something you imbecile. It is YOUR fault we are lost in America, and I'll be damned if I have to help you fix your own mistakes."
The boy-who-lived rolled his eyes. "Oh right Malfoy...yeah, it's my fault you're the greatest arse in the world and you have to insult me every single time you see me."
Draco quirked an eyebrow and grabbed his own buttocks. "Oh, so now I've got the greatest arse in the world, is that it? Maybe you should stop being such a pervert and put your sweaty shirt back on, hmm? Maybe you should also keep your eyes in your sockets, aye?"
The other boy threw his shirt at the blonde and growled at him in a dog-like style. "You're sick. You know what I very well meant, so keep that disgusting mind of your out of the gutter." Harry's face met Draco's school bag seconds later.
"Keep MY mind out of the gutter?! I know what YOU meant?! Who do you think I am, Weasel?! I will keep my mind wherever I bloody well like it, and I do not think it is my duty to interpret 'Gryffindor' speech. So why don't you make yourself useful and get a fucking life?! Oh, and do me a favor, really, PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON!" He then threw the sweaty article of clothing into Harry's face, which contorted in disgust upon contact. "You're such a fucking Eagle Scout, you know that?! 'Oh, I'll just take off my shirt to flag help to us'. Yeah, right. Potter, you are worse here then you are at Hogwarts. I mean honestly, we get it already, you stopped Voldemort when you were fucking baby...just get the fuck over it!" Draco then snatched his bag back from Harry and huffed as he sat on the side of the road once more.
Harry yelled out in anger, but stopped when a rather large gust of wind blew a cloud of dust into his mouth. The raven haired boy stormed over to the side of the road and was about to give the other boy a good screaming at when suddenly a truck stopped in front of them and the passenger's window rolled down. A man's head with a hat that said 'Foxy Grandpa' popped out of the window and looked down at the two boys. He put an arm out the window as well and gave a grin that had one glinting gold tooth in it. "Likes like you boys could use some help."
Oh my sweet whatever.....I have actually finished the first chapter of a story.....I am so happy! It has been FOREVER since I've actually finished the first chapter to.....well......anything! Please review my story, I would very much appreciate that......oh, if you're wondering about the first two paragraphs, that was Draco writing on the parchment.....I don't know what the fuck he's exactly doing, but I do stuff like that a lot and I figured ince I'm a lot like Draco Malfoy it would fit if he did it, too. Besides....mine are always pretty humorous....then again I babble on about random shit. Oh, sorry for the language, but I have a big problem with cursing! It's a travesty I says! An absolute travesty! Anymoose, I hope you enjoyed this, and I WILL write more if you REVIEW.....I will I will I WILL. Just review. If you don't review then I'm not fucking continuing this....and I swear it only gets better....I mean come on, the first chapter is always one of the worst because it has to introduce us to the situation, blah blah blah......but like I said, I swear the other chapters just get better! This story is being written on sugar over-doses late at night by a psychotic teenager! I mean COME ON! What produces better humor then that other then drug induced cartoons (Ren and Stimpy, heh)? YARGH I AM BABBLING! Well, please review....I will reward you if you review.......if you're extra super-duper nice in your reviews then I will take suggestions for things to happen to them.......but YOU MUST REVIEW. OK, stop reading my random shit and REVIEW ALREADY.
Over and out from Whoa Tamo, the Psychic Spade
PS- Seriously......Ren and Stimpy was the shit.