Title: A Father´s Love
Author: Lia
Rating: PG
Classification: R
Pairing: Harm/Mac (character death, sort of)
Spoilers: None
Summary: Inside her womb, the child of Sarah MacKenzie and Harmon Rabb grows and prepares to be born. Born to a mother's love, and to a father who may not be there.
Disclaimers: Belongs to Donald P. Bellisario, Belisarius Production and CBS. No infringement is intended. No money is being made with this.
Author´s Note: Thank you Pat for beta. English is not my first language, and even Pat did a great job, all the mistakes are mine. Feedback is much wanted and very much appreciated. Hope you enjoy this one, it came into my mind and didn´t leave me alone until it was finished.
Dedicated to my best friend, Dee. Because she inspires me to write angst.
-----------
It was still early, the morning sun only just beginning to rise into the clear blue sky. She walked down to the beach, feeling the warm rays of the sun on her face. The silky sand under her bare feet felt cool after the night as she strolled along the shoreline.
She reached to push a lock of overgrown hair back from her eyes, only to let it fall back to frame her face as the warm morning breeze danced around her. Over the months she had spent there, the golden rays of the sun had given her copper hair a lighter colour, her skin became beautifully tanned in the hours she had spent outside.
She loved that beach. She loved the ocean that reminded her of him.
Through the thin fabric of her white summer dress she felt a kick against her hand, and she couldn´t hold back a soft, happy sigh. She felt her heart filling with love for the unborn child.
Waves crashed softly against the shore, reaching to wet her feet every now and then, but she didn´t back away. A small, white shell drifted on her feet. She followed it with her gaze until the waves took it away from her, slowly, back to the ocean.
She felt his presence before his strong arms circled her waist, hands coming to rest against the swollen belly. A soft sigh escaped her lips and she leaned her back against his chest.
"You came." She spoke softly.
"I said I would."
She smiled happily, never doubting his words. For a long moment they stood like that, staring out to the horizon. The only sound around them was the ocean, and the seagulls up into the sky.
After a moment, she finally pulled away from his embrace and turned to look at him. He smiled at her, that smile she loved so much. She offered him a soft smile in return, but he saw the shimmering tears in her eyes. And she fought against them, she really did. She was so tired of crying.
His face became serious as he watched the first tear of many rolling down on her cheeks. And she let them fall. "I can´t do this." Her whisper came out as a desperate sob, and she wanted him to reach and take her into his arms. But she knew he wouldn´t. Couldn´t.
"Yes you can." He said softly.
"I can´t do this alone. I need you."
"You are not alone, Sarah. You have mom and Frank, you have Bud and Harriet, the admiral. And you have me."
"But I don´t have you." Her eyes were filled with sadness, desperation. "I miss you so much. I miss your arms around me. I miss you next to me when I go to sleep and when I wake up. I miss everything about you. I miss you so much that sometimes I can´t breath."
"I will always be there for you."
"That´s not enough."
She covered her face with her hand, not ashamed, but tired, exhausted. The baby inside of her kicked again, and she laid a calming hand on her stomach. He stood before her, watching silently as she finally took a deep breath and brushed the tears away. She looked up to him, and he smiled, a small, sad smile that told her he was sorry.
And she wanted to tell him it wasn´t his fault. But it was. And she blamed him.
She felt a soft breeze around them, and she looked at him panicking. "No." She whispered. "No, don´t. You only just came."
His hand rose to touch her face, and if he had been alive, she could have felt the warmth of it as he caressed her cheek. But she felt nothing.
He was still standing in front of her, bare feet, his white shirt and white pants flapping silently in the wind. He was not real, not to anyone but her. Since the day she had walked along the shoreline for the first time.
"Please don´t go." She pleaded.
"I´ll be back." He promised, like everyday before that. And just before he slowly disappeared with the wind, he leaned to her, and she could almost feel the warmth of his lips on hers again.
Sometimes she felt him, when he appeared to her. She felt his arms around her, but his body was not warm, his heart was not beating, but she took everything she was given, and it had to be enough.
End of Part 1
Author: Lia
Rating: PG
Classification: R
Pairing: Harm/Mac (character death, sort of)
Spoilers: None
Summary: Inside her womb, the child of Sarah MacKenzie and Harmon Rabb grows and prepares to be born. Born to a mother's love, and to a father who may not be there.
Disclaimers: Belongs to Donald P. Bellisario, Belisarius Production and CBS. No infringement is intended. No money is being made with this.
Author´s Note: Thank you Pat for beta. English is not my first language, and even Pat did a great job, all the mistakes are mine. Feedback is much wanted and very much appreciated. Hope you enjoy this one, it came into my mind and didn´t leave me alone until it was finished.
Dedicated to my best friend, Dee. Because she inspires me to write angst.
-----------
It was still early, the morning sun only just beginning to rise into the clear blue sky. She walked down to the beach, feeling the warm rays of the sun on her face. The silky sand under her bare feet felt cool after the night as she strolled along the shoreline.
She reached to push a lock of overgrown hair back from her eyes, only to let it fall back to frame her face as the warm morning breeze danced around her. Over the months she had spent there, the golden rays of the sun had given her copper hair a lighter colour, her skin became beautifully tanned in the hours she had spent outside.
She loved that beach. She loved the ocean that reminded her of him.
Through the thin fabric of her white summer dress she felt a kick against her hand, and she couldn´t hold back a soft, happy sigh. She felt her heart filling with love for the unborn child.
Waves crashed softly against the shore, reaching to wet her feet every now and then, but she didn´t back away. A small, white shell drifted on her feet. She followed it with her gaze until the waves took it away from her, slowly, back to the ocean.
She felt his presence before his strong arms circled her waist, hands coming to rest against the swollen belly. A soft sigh escaped her lips and she leaned her back against his chest.
"You came." She spoke softly.
"I said I would."
She smiled happily, never doubting his words. For a long moment they stood like that, staring out to the horizon. The only sound around them was the ocean, and the seagulls up into the sky.
After a moment, she finally pulled away from his embrace and turned to look at him. He smiled at her, that smile she loved so much. She offered him a soft smile in return, but he saw the shimmering tears in her eyes. And she fought against them, she really did. She was so tired of crying.
His face became serious as he watched the first tear of many rolling down on her cheeks. And she let them fall. "I can´t do this." Her whisper came out as a desperate sob, and she wanted him to reach and take her into his arms. But she knew he wouldn´t. Couldn´t.
"Yes you can." He said softly.
"I can´t do this alone. I need you."
"You are not alone, Sarah. You have mom and Frank, you have Bud and Harriet, the admiral. And you have me."
"But I don´t have you." Her eyes were filled with sadness, desperation. "I miss you so much. I miss your arms around me. I miss you next to me when I go to sleep and when I wake up. I miss everything about you. I miss you so much that sometimes I can´t breath."
"I will always be there for you."
"That´s not enough."
She covered her face with her hand, not ashamed, but tired, exhausted. The baby inside of her kicked again, and she laid a calming hand on her stomach. He stood before her, watching silently as she finally took a deep breath and brushed the tears away. She looked up to him, and he smiled, a small, sad smile that told her he was sorry.
And she wanted to tell him it wasn´t his fault. But it was. And she blamed him.
She felt a soft breeze around them, and she looked at him panicking. "No." She whispered. "No, don´t. You only just came."
His hand rose to touch her face, and if he had been alive, she could have felt the warmth of it as he caressed her cheek. But she felt nothing.
He was still standing in front of her, bare feet, his white shirt and white pants flapping silently in the wind. He was not real, not to anyone but her. Since the day she had walked along the shoreline for the first time.
"Please don´t go." She pleaded.
"I´ll be back." He promised, like everyday before that. And just before he slowly disappeared with the wind, he leaned to her, and she could almost feel the warmth of his lips on hers again.
Sometimes she felt him, when he appeared to her. She felt his arms around her, but his body was not warm, his heart was not beating, but she took everything she was given, and it had to be enough.
End of Part 1