I only want to be accepted

Chapter 17: Angry Harry and a sensitive Snape?

A.N 1.wow, you guys have no idea how bad I feel about leaving it so long between my updates but so much has gone on… I had exams, then I went on holiday, then my nan went into hospital, then I went back to college, then I was in hospital egh I'm so sorry.

2. I know this chapter isn't very long, but I didn't want to put it with the next one because then that would be too long. I'm sorry If its not what you want but I promise not to wait forever with the next update.

3. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, it would take me a lifetime to thank everyone individually! Thanks again!

Recap:

'Harry I have to tell you something.'

'What?'

'I got a letter this morning. From Voldermort.'

Dreading what might come now, Hermione pulled away from Harry arms and stood a few feet away from him. Honestly was the best policy right? Some how she didn't think that was true now. Perhaps Ignorance is bliss is better fitting?

'Hermione -

' - You've got to understand Harry that this sort of thing is to be expected from him, and it's part of my mission and I have to do what he wants -'

'- Hermione.'

'- and Harry I know I've put this relationship through so much already, and I can totally

understand if your mad - '

'HERMIONE!'

She turned to face him. He stood but inches from her, looking into her face as he tried to hide the confusing thoughts and possible things said in that letter. Pushing away the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He didn't want to be angry, but just seeing the guilt in her eyes, a familiar feeling of rage boiled up inside of him

'Harry…'

'Show me.'

She shook her head. That would be like putting their relationship in a noose. Not something she was going to do.

'No Harry I can't'

'Hermione I want to see it.'

'Harry Please.'

'Hermione, you mean everything to me, I don't like secrets, please just show me the letter.'

How could she say no? He's stood by her though so much already and she'd been there for him for everything. Did she honestly think this relationship could last much longer anyway? With her position? There was only so much he could take.

Hermione reached into her back pocket and pulled the letter out.

'I-I have to read it too you. It's charmed.'

And she began. She didn't dare look into his face as she read it, but she could feel what he went through. The disgust, the repulsion. The hurt. Finally as she folded the letter back up, she boldly raised her head to see him.

'Harry -'

' - You know, it's just one thing after another isn't? The second I have something right in my life, the twisted bastard always finds away to screw it up! It's funny really, I should learn -'

Hermione approached Harry. He was become frantic. She placed a hand on his arm.

' - No Hermione. I shouldn't have anything, that way he can't fuck it up. Or fuck it in your case.'

Taken back was an understatement for Hermione. She knew he was hurting, she knew he was upset, but nothing prepared her for the look of pure disgust he gave her.

'I can't be around you.'

Hermione reached for his hand.

'No Harry, please don't go. Can we just talk?'

'Talk? Ok lets talk Hermione. I thought I could handle you being his play thing, I thought I could handle you dressing like a complete whore, but you know what I can't. No, I won't. I have to think about where we stand Hermione.'

It was like ice, sliding down her throat. Hot distressing tears burning the back of eyes, white burning needles piercing her skin, making her shake.

'Harry please don't leave like this.'

But by the time the first tear had dropped, the portrait hole had slammed closed.

She'd never felt more alone. This was the first time that she actually regretted taking the mission, shed lost her boyfriend, shed lost her best friend.

No, no I haven't. I'm not letting this go without a fight I can't.

She whipped the tears from her eyes and threw the portrait open. He wouldn't go to the common room, too many people, they'd be training on the quidditch pitch so he wouldn't be flying, he probably be at Hagrid's.

She ran though the corridors, the sly tear falling from her face, determined to find Harry, to explain.

'MISS GRANGER!'

Hermione spun around and found herself face to face with professor Snape.

'What do you think you are doing?'

'I-I, I- erm.'

'Well spit it out girl.'

She couldn't. The only thing she could do was cry. Her hands began to shake. Her mouth started to tremble, the tears fell.

'Miss Granger stop you blubbering at once.'

The next thing she knew she was standing outside the fat lady again, Snape by her side.

'Blue roses.'

'O child, are you ok?'

'Blue roses.'

'Professor what happened to her?'

'Dam it woman blue roses!'

'Ok, I was just concerned.'

Hermione was gently pushed back into the incident room, a cup of tea in her hands and being guided to her sofa.

'I-I-I d-d-don't think I-I-I can d-d-o it professor. I'm sorry, but I can't.'

'Miss Granger, Hermione. You are not making any sense. Stop your whimpering and tell me what got you in such a hysterical state.'

'Harry….Letter…mad…Voldermort…it hurts.'

Snape shook his head, it had been a long day and he really didn't need a teenage girl crying inhis presence.

'You told Potter about the letter and he didn't like it.'

Hermione merely nodded.

'And you can't do what?'

Hermione sniffed and held her head up.

'I don't think I'm strong enough to carry on with this mission. I'm upsetting so many people and I'm tired already. I'm tired of the lies and the hurt. Someone else should do it. I'm just not powerful enough to do it.'

'Mis-Hermione. What I'm about to say to you does not leave this room got it?'

'Yes sir.'

'You are a very talented witch. More talented than half of the dunderheads I teach put together and the fact that you are muggle born gives you even more of an advantage. Most pureblood Wizards would never be able to live in two world, survive in two different cultures, but you Hermione can ease into either world with no trouble. As much as it pains me to say It, your not a Gryffindor for nothing.

Something most Slytherin's lack is the courage to help others, Hermione you've stood by Potter and Weasley for years when you shouldn't have. You, personally have gone through more by the age of 17 in both worlds than most fully grown wizards or muggles for that matter. If you can over come all the hardship thrown at you, at school, at home wherever, then I have no doubt that you can over come this…this setback with Potter. The boy is a fool -'

'- hey.'

'Hermione, the boy is a fool. He wears his emotions on his sleeves, that is his weakness, and apart from just then, I've never seen you loose control like that. You are a very strong witch Hermione, I've seen some of what you can do. You have a lot of potential and I have every confidence that you'll prove well on this mission. I'm not going to lie to you, things are only going to get harder, but you cannot back down now. If you back down, then you'll do it for the rest of your life. Potter will come round and in the mean time you need to suck it up and carry on.'

'Professor!'

'I know that sounds harsh, but it's the truth. If I could have picked one person for this mission, it would have been you without a doubt. Nobody else can stand tall and proud after being pushed to their limits. But I think you haven't been pushed enough yet, and I'm not going to let you back down. If Potter doesn't like what your doing it is his problem not yours, you are doing this for our world, for him.'

'Yeah, yeah your right. Thank you professor.'

'Yes, well you are welcome Miss Granger.'

Her potions professor rose from his seat on the sofa and made his way over to the exit. Pulling open the portrait, he was meet with a shocked Harry.

'Professor Snape?'

'Mr Potter. Excuse me.'

'Wh-what are you doing in Hermione's rooms?'

'That is not your business. 10 points from Gryffindor for obstructing a teacher. Move.'

'Professor!'

The two men turned to see Hermione approaching the hole behind Professor Snape.

'Good day Miss Granger. Potter.'

With that, the professor brushed passed them and made his way back down the corridor towards his dungeons.

'What was Snape doing here?'

'I don't think that concerns you does it? What do you want?'

'Can I come in?'

Hermione moved aside and let him in.

The pair stood opposite each other, staring at anything but one another.

'Harry why are you here? You made yourself perfectly clear earlier.'

'Hermione I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you, it wasn't fair. I'm not mad at you, I'm just mad at him and I know that it's not your fault. I'm sorry.'

'You hurt me Harry. You made it out like it was fun what I'm doing, like I actually enjoy it.'

'I know.'

He grabbed her hands and made her look at him. She could sense the guilt and remorse from him. He was truly sorry.

'Sweetheart, I am really sorry. Please forgive me. But I understand If you don't want to -'

' - shh. Let me talk. We're both strong people, and I think that we'll be ok. But we both have to be understanding. You can't be like this at everything that happens, and I have to not rub it in your face, this can't, no this won't come between us.'

Harry wrapped his arms around her shoulders, Hermione snaked her arms around his waist.

'We'll get through this right? It'll be ok?'

Hermione nodded into his chest. She hope it would be ok. She hoped.

Ok, now I no it wasn't the longest of chapters but I'm planning on something big so its just a lil build up! I promise to get the next one up soon!

Raven

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