Disclaimer: I don't own Holes, and never will!

The Inspection Of CGL

Chapter One ll Draft Report: My First Impression

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Nine whole hours to this random place out in the middle of the kentucky-fried-desert?

Well, bite my crumpet, but that is so not my idea of a peaceful month.

I looked out and saw random holes while the bus jumped every now and then because of the unpaved road.

So, who am I and what am I doing?

Well, my name's Andromeda. Yeah, I'm a female and I'm on my way to Camp Green Lake. No, I didn't get sentenced there. How could you expect me, a lovely, sweet, straight-A student, get sentenced to a juvenile camp?

I'm going to Camp Green Lake because the Attorney General and his group of important people are concerned about the way things are being run at that place. They want me, a respectable, normal, everyday citizen to go and check the place out. They want me to stay there for a month so I can observe the camp. They want me to hang out with the delinquents and to write a report on each of them. See how their personalities are. See if they're dangerous.

Don't ask me why I agreed!

I watched the rise and fall of the telephone wires. It was going to be tough, going to a place where no female inhabits. Sheesh, it's going to be scary as. My parents were ecstatic that I had agreed to do this. The deal was that I'd get a scholarship and a Very-Good-For-Social-Life, Certificate-of-Appreciation if I went through this whole process.

Okay, I really don't mean to sound so... blunt. I am a nice person – usually - but even I have to admit I've got a real attitude on the inside. I just can't help but think odd things.

Hey, it's the person I am!

The bus slowed down and I gulped. I remembered little Cecily's words when I said goodbye to her and my parents this morning.

"Come back soon, Sis," she had whimpered with tearful eyes, "Don't catch any boy guuu-uurms!"

I saw a couple of rundown buildings and quite a few large, grey tents. The place looked like a scorching pancake.

"Welcome to Camp Green Lake," the driver said.

I blinked and picked up my huuuge suitcase, overnight bag and denim backpack. The driver raised his eyebrows at all my luggage. I guess he didn't really expect so much stuff.

But I'm a girl!

"Thanks," I said sincerely, struggling to get off the bus without forward-tumbling down the steps followed by my suitcase and bags. Oh, that would be joyous. Not.

The driver had the courtesy to get up and carry my suitcase for me. He led me towards one of the rundown buildings. I raised my eyebrows. Okay, I know you're going to think "SNOB" after my next line, but honestly, how shabby is this place?

My report so far, I thought dully, looking around, Shabby; rundown; an insult to all who comes by it.

And how hot could ya get?

Okay, enough with the snotty wisecracks, I told myself.

I entered the building and felt the welcoming relief of air-conditioning. I glanced around, but the place was still pretty small. Not spacious enough. There was a desk (needs more modern furniture), some file cabinets (...no comment), a cactus (very clever, a plant that hardly needs watering!) and a man wearing a cowboy hat (needs to employ BETTER-LOOKING people.)

He raised his eyebrows at me and looked at the bus driver, obviously waiting for some answers.

"She's the girl they sent," the bus driver man explained.

The cowboy man looked at me, realisation spreading across his face, "So I see," he growled. Well, eat my shorts! I thought angrily. He needn't look at me as if I'm a piece of trash!

"A girl?" he continued, raising his eyebrows.

That's right, grandpa!

I'm so glad I was trained not to say whatever comes to my mind.

The bus driver nodded, "Here's her file." He walked over and handed Mr. Look-At-Me-I'm-So-Deficient a clipboard, and I realised it had all my information on it.

Eeep!

The man looked at my file and read it out loud, "Andromeda Williams. Birth date: twenty-eighth of July. Age - " his eyes widened, then he looked at me over the top of the clipboard. "Are you telling me you aren't even fourteen yet?"

I nodded uncertainly; well, I couldn't very well say "Pucker up, sister!" now, could I?

"I guess I'll be leaving," the bus driver finally said. He nodded over to me while taking the can of soda the other dude had handed him, "Careful, 'lil gal."

Little?

"Are you sure you're up for this?" Mr. LAMISD said gruffly, still looking at my file, "Thirteen year old girl, what game d'they think they're playing at?"

I said nothing. It seemed like the smart thing to do.

Finally, he put the clipboard down. He motioned for me to sit down, which I did because I didn't want to try out my non-existent martial art skills.

"Listen up, I know you're the girl the AG sent to inspect us, but don't think I'm gonna go all smoochy nice on you just 'cause of that," he growled, "The way things are run here are just fine, and there's nothin' you can say against us."

Suddenly, I felt powerful. I could put an end to this misery man's job! BOW DOWN, I SAY! Too bad he doesn't seem to recognise my extreme power and authority. Hehehe.

I am so excellent.

"It says here you are to write a report on the camp, the counselors... me," he said extra menacingly, "the Warden... and all the boys from one tent. Well, you up to it, girlie?"

I said nothing. No one in my life has called me girlie before. Not since kindergarten!

Then, I nodded.

He grinned at me, "Good, 'cause I'm assigning you the boys of D-tent."

Huh? Okay, next part on my report: Employed man show signs of enthusiasm at things that don't make sense.

"Get up," he spat out a sunflower seed. Needs gum..

I got up slowly. Then he stared at my suitcase.

"What's in that?" he demanded of me. Does not show respect for privacy.

Before I could stop myself, I said, "D'you really wanna know?"

He just looked at me. Oopsies!

Finally, he heaved a sigh, "Guess not. Get goin' now, girlie. You've got a tent all to yourself near the Warden's cabin. I'll take your - thing." He nodded over to my suitcase, which was fluro pink.

Does not know correct terminology for luggage in general.

I wish I had a notepad. I had so many notes on this guy that I figured I couldn't remember half of them.

"My name is Mr. Sir. You will address me as 'Mr. Sir' at all times, is that clear?" he suddenly barked at me as if I was part of an army squad. I felt like saluting and going, "Sir, yes, sir!"

But of course, I didn't. I simply nodded, wondering what sort of obscure alien had named him Mr. Sir.

"This ain't a girl scout camp," he added, spitting out another sunflower seed shell.

Well, duh!

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A/N: Hello all! Story's being revised a little because some amendments are needed. x) Yes, Andii is now thirteen (almost fourteen) and I've gotten rid of the year she was born in because it was causing too much confusion among readers who are reading this two years later. So SHE'S A YEAR OLDER NOW! Still a child at heart, though. xD - msq.