As We Were

Disclamier: If it twere then it twould be... tweriffic.

Review Response:

Sorry, no Review Reponses for today. I jsut spent half an hour typing them up, and then my computer dies on me. And I really don't want to re do them. But we do have a public service announcement from M. But first, I want you all to know that as I was typing up my response to ishandalhalf, I finally figured out what's going on with Remy! I'll give you a hint... he has small mental problems. Now a word from our sponsers:


YO HO, me hearties, yo ho!
M here!
Installment III in the series of M's Ranting Insanities is about to begin.
Please keep you hands and arms insied the vehicle at all times, and don't
drink beverages in front of your computer due to the risk of a painful,
electric, and wholly embarassing demise.
Here we goooooooooooooooooooooo....
A List of Things I'd Love to See in X-Men:

• Xavier stops an evil villain peacefully by entering his/her mind and
explaining that all their pent-up rage is a result of being neglected by
their mother.

• Shadowcat getting stuck in the middle of phasing through a wall

• Remy misses when he tosses a charged card

• Mystique gets schizophrenia

• The lenses of Scott's glasses fall out and he blasts Jean's head off

• Someone actually decides to FIGHT and not threaten their opponent

• Magneto returns to eastern Europe and lives out his life there peacefully

• Wolveriene discovers that he used to be a top-ranking UN diplomat

• The Blackbird blows up, killing all its passengers instantly

• Someone realizes that Magneto's Asteroid M or Avalon or whatever the
hell he's calling it this week is wreaking havok on the tidal schedule

• Nate and Cable inadvertantly touch each other and the universe is
instantly ripped apart in a violent matter/antimatter reaction

• Xavier's wheelchair tip over during battle, and everyone stops to
righten it

• Jean Grey, unable to control the Phoenix Force any longer, combusts

• Psylocke, having gained some extra weight, refuses to wear her uniform

• Juggernaut accedentally fastens his helmet on backwards and runs around,
bumping into things

• Storm dies her hair. Purple.

• It is discovered that mutant's lack humankind's innate resistence to the
common cold, and Homo Superior is wiped out.

• Cassandra Nova returns to her full power, but decides to play a TV
personality, "Granny Nova" in "Granny's Crochet Hour"

• The Cuckoos decide to form a band and go platinum

• Nightcrawler trips and sprains his ankle

• It's discovered that Bolivar Trask also programmed the sentinels to be
"the perfect domestic servant". All the X-Men's problems with them are
instantly over.

• Beast devolves into a duck

• Bobby melts at the annual "Xavier Institute Bonfire"

For now, that's all I have for you. Except for one last thing... I
actually came up with a startelingly brilliant idea for what Magneto could
do to conquer the planet. All he needs to do is use his magnetic powers to
erase all the information on every hard disk on the planet. Because this
would affect banks, the stock excange, etc., the majority of the planet
would instantly fall into a kind of forced socialisim. From there, he
could easily subdue the human race.
Brilliant, no?
Also, you can win my respect and recognition of intellectual equalty if you can decode
the message below.
L wuxob dp lpsuhvvhg eb brxu hiiruw. Vr L'oo lpduw d vhfuuhw. Pb ixoo qdph
lv Plfkdho. (Brx fdq fdoo ph wkdw iurp qrz rq.) ((Please note that ASGT has no clue what it means.))

Hint: It's a Caeser Substitution Cypher. To make it easier, I made it
monoalphabetic.

Off the deep end,
M

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit," Warren mumbled anxiously as he went down to the Hospital Wing. Upon entering, Wanda and John turned to him, eager to hear what Remy had to say.

"That man's lost it," Warren said honestly.

"What happened? Did he pour some peanut butter over his head and run around naked? Sleep on a bed of hot coals? Burn his bra? Or his matching thong? Better yet, put them on and burn them while he was wearing them? I wanna know! I wanna know!" John said, literally bouncing up and down towards Angel.

"You better tell him," Hank said. "Before he burns down the place."

"Well..." Warren began. "First he was bitter, then I told him Rogue and my plan, then he told me that Besty was lazy in bed, then he was very pissed off, then he decided to try out a gay lifestyle, made some comments about someone's shirt, kissed me, then said that he hopes Rogue dies," Warren finished, smiling sarcastically. "I think he's doing great!"

"Damn, he has mental problems," John said, nodding solemnly.

"Said the cat to the kitty," Wanda shot at him.

"Kitty? Where?" John looked around wildly for the girl mentioned.

"Not here," Wanda said gently. "I was saying that that was just a perfect thing for the poster child for mental problems to be saying to Remy."

"Nuh-uh! Rogue's got more mental problems then I do!" John complained.

"Will ya'll stop talkin' about meh like Ah'm not here?" The company spun around to Rogue's bedside where she was sitting up.

"How much did you hear?" John asked, narrowing his eyes, preparing to interrogate the poor girl.

"From tha point when Warren said that Remy's doin' great. What happened tam eh? How'd Ah git in here?" She asked.

"Uh... How much do you remember?" Warren asked.

"From tha point when Ah walked inta Xavier's office." The group blinked and launched into telling Rogue what had happened.

"An' Warren, ya said that ya thought Remy was doin' great? What exactly did he say?"

"Rogue, to be honest right now," Warren said, looking down at her. "He hates you."

"What?" Rogue gasped, her eyes getting rather wide.

"I think I'm going to leave now..." Hank said, making for the door.

"He said that he hoped you died," John said, smiling.

"You're not helping," Wanda said sternly, pulling John back by the collar.

"Anyway, he also said that he didn' wanna see you again!" John said, still smiling. Rogue's eyes, if possible, got even wider.

"WHAT?" She gasped, for the second time in two minutes.

"I'm sorry," Warren said, hanging his head.

"Yeah, well, not as sorry as he's gonna be," Rogue said dangerously, making to get out of bed. She got one foot out of bed on the cold hard floor and brought a second one down, no problem. She took about one step and before she knew it, she was falling towards the tile floor. John thought quickly and dove under her, allowing her to fall on top of him.

"John!" Wanda said sternly. "Is that anyway for the future Mr. Allerdyce of Mr. and Mrs. Allerdyce to be acting? Cheating on his fiancée with... Rogue?" Warren and Rogue blinked.

"What's going on here?" Warren asked.

"Can someone help meh git up?" Rogue asked.

"WHAT ABOUT ME?" John shouted annoyed.

"No one else knows," Wanda said, looking at Rogue and Warren. "So if we tell you what's going on, you'll be sworn to secrecy...," Everyone nodded. "Can I tell you?" The nodded. "Or should I just let you wait, and torture you with the wait?"

"I'm being tortured with weight right now!" John cried out, kicking his legs and pounding his fists into the tile floor.

"Warren?" Wanda looked at Warren, who nodded and went to pick Rogue up and dropped her lightly back on her bed.

"You can tell us now..." Warren said annoyed.

"Yes, yes, I know I can. Well..."

"Wanda and I are engaged!" John yelled out happily, earning a scowl from Wanda.

"Congratulations!" Both Rogue and Warren said, clapping.

"You two are the only ones that know," John said, seriously now, lifting himself off the flore. "So your lips our sealed."

"Got it," Warren said, nodding. "Rogue, care to try walking again?"

"Sure as hell!" Rogue said, jumping down to the floor, holding herself against the metal of the bed. "Spot me," She ordered at John, who walked over to her like a puppy. Rogue took one shaky step forward, followed by a second, and a third.

"If this was a musical," Wanda said, "I'd expect you to start singing about how you can walk again."

"Want meh ta?" Rogue asked, grinning.

"NO!" They all yelled at her.

"Meh," Rogue said, sticking her tongue out at them, feeling quite juvenile.

"You're well on your way to recovery," Warren said smiling.

A few days later, Rogue seemed fully recovered, she still had Miss. Marvel's powers, but her original powers were not restored, and Remy still wasn't speaking to her. Dear God, that sounded so lame and mediocre...

"What an asshole," Jubilee said as she and Kitty flounced up to Rogue.

"Who? Remy?" Rogue asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Kitty said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Who else?"

"Bobby," Rogue replied sarcastically.

"Well, him too," Jubilee said, frowning.

"Hey, Rogue," Kitty said, getting a mischevious glint in her eyes. "Wanna go clubbing tonight?"

"Kitty!" Rogue said in mock shock. "Ah'm surprised with ya! Ya're only... 19, an' Jubes, ya're 17..."

"So? Take us to an over 16 club!" Jubilee protested.

"Ya'll aren't gonna let meh git outta this, are ya'll?"

"Nope," The two girls said grinning.

"Can Ah at least call Wanda?" Rogue asked.

"Nope. It's just us three. Sorry," Kitty grinned evily.

"Fine. But no drinkin ya two, Ah don' wanna have ta take tha fall fer ya'll."

"Fine, we won't," Jubilee said, sticking out her tongue. "Come on! Let's get ready!"

The three girls assembled down stairs in the foyer half an hour later, at around eight. Jubilee had her hair down, and was wearing her traditional yellow jacket, hoop earrings, a white tank-top and jean skirt. Kitty had on tight jeans and a black haltertop.

"Wow, Kit, ya're brancin' out on colors," Rogue said with a smirk. She was wearing black leather pants, her boots, and a black tube-top that went down into black mesh around her mid-drift. Not like anyone really cares, however.

"Un-like you," Kitty smirked. "Come on! Let's go!"

"Let's take my car!" Jubilee said, happy to show off her blue mini-cooper.

"But Ah'm drivin'," Rogue said sternly.

"Fine," Kitty crossed her arms. "Be that way."

"Ah will," Rogue smiled. "An' Ah git ta choose tha music too."

"No, anything but that!" Kitty cried desperately in the back seat. "No, no no no no no no! I REFUSE to let you play that porn movie soundtrack while I'm in the car!"

"Fahne," Rogue said, smiling and reached for another CD. "Slipknot."

"Nuh-uh!" Kitty protested.

"Gobsmack? Papa Roach? Nirvana?"

"Why not Simple Plan?" Kitty asked.

"Posers," Jubilee said, cracking her gum. "Corporate punk."

"Bingo," Rogue said. She looked through the CD's a bit more.

"Ooh! I know!" Jubilee reached past Rogue's arm and pulled out a teal CD. "Weezer!" 1

"Ah can live with that," Rogue said, popping into the player.

"Me too," Kitty agreed. "I guess."

I'm sorry. This chapter sucks. It really does. So does the next one, it's so predictable. I'm sorry for awful falawufulness.

1) One of the lyric of 'In The Garage' (One of my themesongs) is 'I've got Kitty Pryde/ And Nightcrawler too.' It cracks me up.