A/N: Does sorry even count? I mean…with my how many month absence? But…I'm working now!

Chapter 15

The Joy that Kills

Three weeks after we returned passed without incident. Except for the fact that half of my house-elf staff was somehow set free, nothing visibly had changed. But now, I caught her sometimes simply staring at me while I worked on new potions and while I was hunched over my desk with more ink on my hands than on the paper. It was in these moments when I paused in my writing and looked up, that I saw her curled up on the couch, writing letters to Muggle parents with a proper Muggle pen. But I knew she had been watching me. It was there in that little half smile she wore.

She hadn't been going to the office for a while because of sickness when I suggested that she go to a Healer. She waved my words away. We were both on the couch, watching the Muggle news on a television.

"I will be fine in another few days. Well, fine enough to return to work."

"How can you be so sure?" I countered. She laughed, though I detected a hint of nervousness in that musical sound.

"Because…I know what is wrong with me." I shot her a glance and she smiled at me…again I could see nervousness there. I tensed up, expecting some sort of exotic disease that she got from the American city. Or perhaps something worse…something incurable. Panic fluttered in my chest as I waited for her to tell me something…anything.

"Well…?" I prompted, taking her into my arms.

"I suppose that technically nothing is 'wrong' with me, it's perfectly natural and healthy. Aside from the nausea and…" she babbled on like that for a moment before I shook her gently.

"Hermione. Shut up and tell me."

I felt her take a soothing breath and she entwined her hands with mine.

"Draco…I'm pregnant." At those three words, it felt as if the world was floating away from me. There was surprise so brilliant that I simply knew I would never see again. That light, it shone from her and the baby inside. My fingers were numb with shock and I could not speak. I suppose that I frightened her with my silence because she bit her bottom lip anxiously and I could see the apprehension well up in her eyes. As she opened her mouth again to protest, to perhaps argue with me and explain to me that it wasn't just her fault, I interrupted her.

"You're…pregnant? With our child? Mine, too? Both of us?"

She narrowed her eyes and moved away from me a little.

"Yes, Draco. Ours….who else's would it be?" I shrugged and took her into my arms again, though I let go of her quickly. I didn't want to hug her too tightly and hurt the baby.

"Well, when were you planning on telling me? I mean…there's so much to do! Right?" I looked at her expectantly. She relaxed and shook her head at me.

"Yes, there is a lot to do. However…" her words were interrupted by a flutter of wings. I glanced to the half open window and blinked as a great snowy owl came landed on the mantle of the fireplace.

I could not understand why Hedwig was delivering a note…

The owl flew over to the arm of the couch and held her leg out. Hesitantly, I reached over, but she made a quick movement and bit my finger. Shrugging, I nursed my injured finger and glanced to Hermione. She smiled, despite her own confusion, and untied the note. The owl stayed, obviously awaiting a response. As Hermione unfolded the letter and began to read, her face paled. She reached over to the nightstand and scribbled out a reply on the bottom of the original note. With shaking hands, she retied the string around Hedwig's foot and the owl gave her a sympathetic hoot before flying off.

"Hermione?" I asked softly, reaching out for her. She let out a sob and practically flew into my arms. Started at the sudden reaction, I blinked a few times and sat back, simply holding her in my arms.

"He's gone, Draco. Ron…he…he…killed himself last night."