Title: Why Me?
Rating: PG-13 (For some language and some mention of sex)
Main Character/s: Severus Snape
Author: Darth Vice
Summary: Have you ever wondered what Snape's parents are like? Well everyone at Hogwarts is about to find out, to Snape's horror, and it's not what they expected.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. But you already knew that didn't you?
Authors Note: This is my first fan fic so be kind. I don't mind criticism but be gentle about it. Also I LOVE reviews and I am very open to any ideas you may have to add to my story. (I will of course give you credit.) So review, review, review! Not a lot of humor in this first chapter but it's coming I swear.
Chapter 1: The Arrival.
Severus Snape sat at the desk, in his private chambers, scribbling away on a piece of parchment in front of him. A strand of his jet-black hair fell in his face and he brushed it away irritably. Today was Sunday and, of course, it was raining, meaning all the students were indoors plaguing the corridors with their ruckus. Snape refused to leave his room to be among that herd of noisemakers. Even the thought of giving plenty of detentions didn't tempt him to join them. It lifted his spirits a little to think of how Filch was probably having a stroke from all the trouble they were causing.
Snape hadn't even left his room to attend breakfast or lunch. His stomach growled loudly and painfully at the thought of meals. Though Snape had learned long ago to ignore pain, such as his stomach was feeling at the moment, food was still a necessity. He thought of using the floo network to get to the kitchens, but discarded that idea when he thought about annoying and determined house elves. He could always have something sent to him, but again house elves. 'Or,' He thought with dread. 'I could just go to dinner with everyone else since it's about that time.' He decided the last course would be easiest.
Severus sighed heavily. Getting up from his chair he pulled on his usual black robes, grabbed his wand; stowing it in his pocket, and headed to the great hall. As he walked he glared icily at the chattering students. He even took ten points from Ravenclaw when Kent Robling laughed to loud. He didn't feel an better after this and knew that if taking points away from the other houses didn't make him feel better he must be in an exceptionally foul mood. In fact he ALMOST pitied anyone who might cross him today.
He reached the Great Hall and noticed almost immediately that Minerva McGonagall was missing from her seat. This did not surprise Snape. The staff members sometimes chose to eat in their chambers on weekends. He strode up to the staff table with his usual demeanor, wishing he too could have done what McGonagall had without having to deal with house elves.
He was about to take his usual seat when Dumbledore caught his eye. Snape sat down next to the Headmaster where Professor McGonagall usually sat. His head was pounding with the sound of talking students, so he hoped this would be quick.
"Yes Headmaster?" He asked coolly.
"I just thought, perhaps, that we could have a little chat Severus."
Snape could barley keep from groaning out loud. He knew that to Dumbledore a "little chat" meant a discussion (usually on a random subject) that would last all of dinner and would be full of question the Headmaster would expect him to answer. 'Why me?!' He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs.
"You know over the years I've noticed how important child/parent relationships are. I myself had a wonderfully close relationship to both of my parents in my childhood and well into my adulthood until they passed away."
'Good for you, you old bat.' Snape thought viciously not understanding why Dumbledore was telling him this.
Dumbledore paused to take a drink. "What about you Severus? Did you have a good relationship with your parents?"
Snape wished inwardly that he had dealt with the house elves. "I was very close to my parents at times. I found them a nuisance at other time just as all children do."
Dumbledore nodded. "And what about now?"
'None of your bloody business you snoopy git!' Snape thought. This was not a discussion he wanted to be having. "I haven't seen them in a long while. You know the way they are Albus."
"Yes." Dumbledore just stared at Snape for a while. "Well it's a shame anyway. I say once the children are grown they should not forget who has gotten them that far. The parents are the center stone of what a person becomes, well most of the time anyway." And again he paused to drink. "What say you? Do see your parent's guidance in what you are today?"
"Not in the slightest." Severus answered almost coldly.
Dumbledore merely shrugged. "Perhaps not but I'm sure it's there."
"Excuse me Headmaster." Snape nodded a farewell. Dumbledore nodded back, smiling in his mysterious way.
Harry sat with his usual circle of friends discussing Quidditch when Snape strode into the Great Hall. Harry despised the man and for good reason. Snape was always finding ways to deduct points or get Harry and his friends in some kind of trouble. As Harry watched him make his way to the staff table he wondered how Snape could constantly keep a frown on his face.
"Have you heard what a bad mood Snape is in today?" Ginny asked looking around at her friends.
"Isn't he always?" Ron scowled in Snape's direction.
"Yeah but apparently he's worse today."
"That's possible?" Harry asked in fake amazement.
Ginny grinned at him. "Apparently it is. He took points from Ravenclaw because Robling was, and I quote "Laughing like a drunken hyena with an amplifying spell on it!" Ginny lowered her voice and did the best impression of Snape's glare that she could.
"Please Snape would take points if someone breathed loudly." Hermione stated.
They all turned watching the Professor stalk out of the hall. "I pity his parents!" Harry muttered.
"Why? They're probably just as bad."
Snape laid in his bed trying to ignore his still growling stomach. Thanks to Dumbledore he had barely gotten to eat anything. He turned over on to his stomach burying his face into the pillow. If he could just fall asleep this dreadful day would be over. Unfortunately his body would not relax and his mind swam with thoughts. Turning over to his back again he took a deep breath and began to clear his mind. Focusing on his breath he relaxed each muscle in turn. Finally as he began to relax a knock on his door jerked him awake.
"No fucking way is this happening to me!" He jumped from his bed ready to kill the person at his door weather it be a student or Dumbledore himself. "When I get hold of the asshole knocking on my door they'll wish they'd never born." He reached the door and swung it open angrily. He was ready to cause bodily harm without an explanation. "WH. . ."
"SURPRISE!!" Two joyful voices yelled.
It took a moment for him to recover and realize who was standing in front of him. "MUM? DAD?"
Authors Note: Well that's the first chapter tell me what you think. I promise the second chapter will have more humor.
Rating: PG-13 (For some language and some mention of sex)
Main Character/s: Severus Snape
Author: Darth Vice
Summary: Have you ever wondered what Snape's parents are like? Well everyone at Hogwarts is about to find out, to Snape's horror, and it's not what they expected.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. But you already knew that didn't you?
Authors Note: This is my first fan fic so be kind. I don't mind criticism but be gentle about it. Also I LOVE reviews and I am very open to any ideas you may have to add to my story. (I will of course give you credit.) So review, review, review! Not a lot of humor in this first chapter but it's coming I swear.
Chapter 1: The Arrival.
Severus Snape sat at the desk, in his private chambers, scribbling away on a piece of parchment in front of him. A strand of his jet-black hair fell in his face and he brushed it away irritably. Today was Sunday and, of course, it was raining, meaning all the students were indoors plaguing the corridors with their ruckus. Snape refused to leave his room to be among that herd of noisemakers. Even the thought of giving plenty of detentions didn't tempt him to join them. It lifted his spirits a little to think of how Filch was probably having a stroke from all the trouble they were causing.
Snape hadn't even left his room to attend breakfast or lunch. His stomach growled loudly and painfully at the thought of meals. Though Snape had learned long ago to ignore pain, such as his stomach was feeling at the moment, food was still a necessity. He thought of using the floo network to get to the kitchens, but discarded that idea when he thought about annoying and determined house elves. He could always have something sent to him, but again house elves. 'Or,' He thought with dread. 'I could just go to dinner with everyone else since it's about that time.' He decided the last course would be easiest.
Severus sighed heavily. Getting up from his chair he pulled on his usual black robes, grabbed his wand; stowing it in his pocket, and headed to the great hall. As he walked he glared icily at the chattering students. He even took ten points from Ravenclaw when Kent Robling laughed to loud. He didn't feel an better after this and knew that if taking points away from the other houses didn't make him feel better he must be in an exceptionally foul mood. In fact he ALMOST pitied anyone who might cross him today.
He reached the Great Hall and noticed almost immediately that Minerva McGonagall was missing from her seat. This did not surprise Snape. The staff members sometimes chose to eat in their chambers on weekends. He strode up to the staff table with his usual demeanor, wishing he too could have done what McGonagall had without having to deal with house elves.
He was about to take his usual seat when Dumbledore caught his eye. Snape sat down next to the Headmaster where Professor McGonagall usually sat. His head was pounding with the sound of talking students, so he hoped this would be quick.
"Yes Headmaster?" He asked coolly.
"I just thought, perhaps, that we could have a little chat Severus."
Snape could barley keep from groaning out loud. He knew that to Dumbledore a "little chat" meant a discussion (usually on a random subject) that would last all of dinner and would be full of question the Headmaster would expect him to answer. 'Why me?!' He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs.
"You know over the years I've noticed how important child/parent relationships are. I myself had a wonderfully close relationship to both of my parents in my childhood and well into my adulthood until they passed away."
'Good for you, you old bat.' Snape thought viciously not understanding why Dumbledore was telling him this.
Dumbledore paused to take a drink. "What about you Severus? Did you have a good relationship with your parents?"
Snape wished inwardly that he had dealt with the house elves. "I was very close to my parents at times. I found them a nuisance at other time just as all children do."
Dumbledore nodded. "And what about now?"
'None of your bloody business you snoopy git!' Snape thought. This was not a discussion he wanted to be having. "I haven't seen them in a long while. You know the way they are Albus."
"Yes." Dumbledore just stared at Snape for a while. "Well it's a shame anyway. I say once the children are grown they should not forget who has gotten them that far. The parents are the center stone of what a person becomes, well most of the time anyway." And again he paused to drink. "What say you? Do see your parent's guidance in what you are today?"
"Not in the slightest." Severus answered almost coldly.
Dumbledore merely shrugged. "Perhaps not but I'm sure it's there."
"Excuse me Headmaster." Snape nodded a farewell. Dumbledore nodded back, smiling in his mysterious way.
Harry sat with his usual circle of friends discussing Quidditch when Snape strode into the Great Hall. Harry despised the man and for good reason. Snape was always finding ways to deduct points or get Harry and his friends in some kind of trouble. As Harry watched him make his way to the staff table he wondered how Snape could constantly keep a frown on his face.
"Have you heard what a bad mood Snape is in today?" Ginny asked looking around at her friends.
"Isn't he always?" Ron scowled in Snape's direction.
"Yeah but apparently he's worse today."
"That's possible?" Harry asked in fake amazement.
Ginny grinned at him. "Apparently it is. He took points from Ravenclaw because Robling was, and I quote "Laughing like a drunken hyena with an amplifying spell on it!" Ginny lowered her voice and did the best impression of Snape's glare that she could.
"Please Snape would take points if someone breathed loudly." Hermione stated.
They all turned watching the Professor stalk out of the hall. "I pity his parents!" Harry muttered.
"Why? They're probably just as bad."
Snape laid in his bed trying to ignore his still growling stomach. Thanks to Dumbledore he had barely gotten to eat anything. He turned over on to his stomach burying his face into the pillow. If he could just fall asleep this dreadful day would be over. Unfortunately his body would not relax and his mind swam with thoughts. Turning over to his back again he took a deep breath and began to clear his mind. Focusing on his breath he relaxed each muscle in turn. Finally as he began to relax a knock on his door jerked him awake.
"No fucking way is this happening to me!" He jumped from his bed ready to kill the person at his door weather it be a student or Dumbledore himself. "When I get hold of the asshole knocking on my door they'll wish they'd never born." He reached the door and swung it open angrily. He was ready to cause bodily harm without an explanation. "WH. . ."
"SURPRISE!!" Two joyful voices yelled.
It took a moment for him to recover and realize who was standing in front of him. "MUM? DAD?"
Authors Note: Well that's the first chapter tell me what you think. I promise the second chapter will have more humor.