Me: YAY! Last part of Blue Moon! Oh, and I just bought two revolvers just
in case.
Phoenix: Green Earth is next. THAT will be fun.
Me: Sure will. Now review reviews.
Dash142: Of course you'll be back. And Phoenix is ready for you. Phoenix: BRING IT ON!
Naval Ace: Sure! I'll put you with your beautiful AK-47 in Drake's interview. UPDATE YOUR STORY!
Victory March: You're not stupid! You're just lazy. Just like me! LOL!
KrOnIk-SpOoN: Thanks for the cash! And sorry I yelled at you, I was just under a lot of pressure. See you in the interview!
CO Shade: What's a stupid muse going to do to me? (Shade walks forward with a glare.) Wait! Stop! Don't come near me! AAAAHHH! (I get beaten to a pulp.) Ok, I won't insult you anymore. Owie.
Me: All right! Let's end the Blue Moon season with Colin!
Phoenix: Joy, we get to be with rich boy.
Disclaimer: I don't own Advance Wars or Colin. But I wish I had his money.
Chapter 8: Colin
{Scene fades in to a stage overlooking the Blue Moon capital. There are two navy blue couches and a glass-topped coffee table.}
Phoenix: HELLO! Welcome to ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!
{Clapping.}
Phoenix: Now put your hands together for Mr. Angry, MASTER OF THE PHOENIX!
{I walk out in my navy blue suit disgruntled. Clapping and cheering,}
Me: Shut up you.
Phoenix: Aww, are you getting angry again? Here, have some Advil.
BANG!
{I shoot the pill container out of Phoenix's hand.}
Me: I don't take drugs. Anyway, welcome to the last part of the Blue Moon season in ADVANCE WAR INTERVIEWS!
{Clapping and cheering.}
Me: Now put your hands together for the rich boy of Blue Moon, the cheapest of the cheap,
Hachi: HEY! WAITAMINUTE! That's MY opening line.
BANG!
{A bullet grazes Hachi's bandana.}
Me: I say what I want. NOW SHUT UP!
{Hachi sits down while trying to put out a small fire on his bandana.}
Me: Anyway, put your hands together for, COLIN!
{Clapping and cheering. Colin sticks his head out, and promptly pulls it back in.}
Naval Ace: COME ON RICH BOY! SHOW US YOU'RE A MAN!
KrOnIk-SpOoN: Yeah! Whatever he said!
{I groan and hold my head.}
Me: Phoenix!
Phoenix: You called?
Me: Get Colin on the couch now.
Phoenix: Heh, with pleasure.
{Phoenix runs backstage. He comes out holding Colin under his arm like a board of wood, which Colin was apparently trying to be.}
Me: Thanks, Colin? Wake up!
{Colin partially snaps out of it.}
Colin: CO COLIN! ARMY BLUE MOON! SERIAL NUMBER 1950S42!
{Colin apparently thinks his being interrogated and does what all captured soldiers usually do.}
Me: Colin! No, calm down! You're not being interrogated! Well, actually, he kind of is, BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT! Just calm down Colin.
{I don't get through to the little guy and he repeats the procedure. I slap my forehead in frustration, but then get an idea.}
Me: Hey Colin! See the money?
{I put a silver dollar next to him. He snaps out of his trance and is partially hypnotized by the coin.}
Colin: Ooohh, shiny!
Me: Ok, now that we calmed you down, I want to ask you a few questions.
Colin: Sure. Shiny coin.
Me: Right, now first question, how did you inherit all your money?
{Since Colin is hypnotized, he answers truthfully.}
Colin: I didn't inherit it. I stole most of it from Olaf's bank. I only inherited 1,000 gold.
{Audience gasps. Olaf ponders.}
Olaf: So THAT'S why I couldn't buy stuff when that advisor was training against me. COLIN! YOU'RE DEAD!
{He half runs half waddles toward Colin, who doesn't notice a thing since he's still entranced by that coin.}
Me: SECURITY!
{Two buffed up security men run up to Olaf and block his path.}
Security: Hut hut hut hut hut hut hut!
{They try to pick Olaf up, but he's so heavy they barely lift him an inch off the ground. They then use their pitiful little brains to decide to literally DRAG Olaf away.}
Security: Hut hut hut hut hut hut hut!
Olaf: Hey! Where're you taking me? SOMEONE HELP! I'M BEING MUGGED!
{Olaf is dragged out of the building.}
Me: Ok, ignoring that last event, second question, why did you join the Blue Moon army?
{Still in a daze, Colin replies.}
Colin: I joined the army because I wanted to get more money so I would be the richest kid in the world.
Me: I thought you joined because you looked up to Olaf and Grit.
Colin: I lied, I acted like I was looking up to them so I could steal their money and become richer.
{Everyone is shocked. Grit is frozen in place. Naval Ace stands up.}
Naval Ace: YOU TRAITOR! YOU'RE A TRAITOR TO BLUE MOON! DIE!
{Naval Ace starts shooting his AK-47. I jump and push Colin out of the way. A few bullets hit my arm.}
Me: ARRRGH! My arm! It's bleeding. NAVAL ACE!
{Naval Ace knows he made a mistake in shooting me, and cautiously hides behind a table.}
Me: You, will, DIE!
{I pull out my two revolvers despite my wounded arm and start shooting at the table like crazy. Naval Ace and I start to exchange a few shots.}
BANG BANG! RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT! BANG BANG!
KrOnIk-SpOoN: COOL! A GUN FIGHT! Time to put my rifle to work.
{KrOnIk-SpOoN Pulls out his Halo 2 Battle Rifle, not remembering his curse with guns. Naval Ace and I look at KrOnIk-SpOoN in horror. Everyone except us three and Colin run out of the building.}
Naval Ace and I: NO! DON'T SHOOT!
BAM!
{Too late, KrOnIk-SpOoN shoots the gun, causing a great, big explosion. Screen fades out. 5 minutes later, the screen fades back in to an annihilated stage with a few ambulances. KrOnIk-SpOoN is being pushed into one of them. The front of his body is black.}
KrOnIk-SpOoN: That was SO COOL! I gotta do that again!
{Naval Ace is also being wheeled into an ambulance, totally blacked but AK- 47 surprisingly unharmed.}
Naval Ace: Ow, my neck hurts. But at least my AK-47 is all right! Who's the best gun ever? You are!
{Colin is also being wheeled in, STILL dazed by the coin in front of him.}
Colin: Soon, once I'm rich enough, I will bribe Black Hole to take over the world and have me as commander-in-chief. Ha. Ha.
{And last but not least, I am being wheeled in, black all over, bleeding in the right arm, and revolvers without a scratch or a smudge.}
Me: COUGH! That's all the time, COUGH, we have left folks. Tune in for, COUGH, Green Earth on, COUGH, Advance Wars Interviews.
{The ambulances are filled and drive away, sirens blazing. Screen fades out.}
(This picture was made by Seal Productions. It is also sponsored by , where YOU make the stories.)
Me: Cough! And so ends the Blue Moon season.
Phoenix: Well, at least you won't use that stage anymore.
Me: Just, shut, up. Anyway, hope KrOnIk-SpOoN and Naval Ace liked the chapter! Naval Ace, no hard feelings about shooting me and me shooting you right? And KrOnIk-SpOoN, no hard feelings about blowing up the stage right?
Phoenix: No matter what they say, it was still funny.
Both: REVIEW PLEASE!
Phoenix: Green Earth is next. THAT will be fun.
Me: Sure will. Now review reviews.
Dash142: Of course you'll be back. And Phoenix is ready for you. Phoenix: BRING IT ON!
Naval Ace: Sure! I'll put you with your beautiful AK-47 in Drake's interview. UPDATE YOUR STORY!
Victory March: You're not stupid! You're just lazy. Just like me! LOL!
KrOnIk-SpOoN: Thanks for the cash! And sorry I yelled at you, I was just under a lot of pressure. See you in the interview!
CO Shade: What's a stupid muse going to do to me? (Shade walks forward with a glare.) Wait! Stop! Don't come near me! AAAAHHH! (I get beaten to a pulp.) Ok, I won't insult you anymore. Owie.
Me: All right! Let's end the Blue Moon season with Colin!
Phoenix: Joy, we get to be with rich boy.
Disclaimer: I don't own Advance Wars or Colin. But I wish I had his money.
Chapter 8: Colin
{Scene fades in to a stage overlooking the Blue Moon capital. There are two navy blue couches and a glass-topped coffee table.}
Phoenix: HELLO! Welcome to ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!
{Clapping.}
Phoenix: Now put your hands together for Mr. Angry, MASTER OF THE PHOENIX!
{I walk out in my navy blue suit disgruntled. Clapping and cheering,}
Me: Shut up you.
Phoenix: Aww, are you getting angry again? Here, have some Advil.
BANG!
{I shoot the pill container out of Phoenix's hand.}
Me: I don't take drugs. Anyway, welcome to the last part of the Blue Moon season in ADVANCE WAR INTERVIEWS!
{Clapping and cheering.}
Me: Now put your hands together for the rich boy of Blue Moon, the cheapest of the cheap,
Hachi: HEY! WAITAMINUTE! That's MY opening line.
BANG!
{A bullet grazes Hachi's bandana.}
Me: I say what I want. NOW SHUT UP!
{Hachi sits down while trying to put out a small fire on his bandana.}
Me: Anyway, put your hands together for, COLIN!
{Clapping and cheering. Colin sticks his head out, and promptly pulls it back in.}
Naval Ace: COME ON RICH BOY! SHOW US YOU'RE A MAN!
KrOnIk-SpOoN: Yeah! Whatever he said!
{I groan and hold my head.}
Me: Phoenix!
Phoenix: You called?
Me: Get Colin on the couch now.
Phoenix: Heh, with pleasure.
{Phoenix runs backstage. He comes out holding Colin under his arm like a board of wood, which Colin was apparently trying to be.}
Me: Thanks, Colin? Wake up!
{Colin partially snaps out of it.}
Colin: CO COLIN! ARMY BLUE MOON! SERIAL NUMBER 1950S42!
{Colin apparently thinks his being interrogated and does what all captured soldiers usually do.}
Me: Colin! No, calm down! You're not being interrogated! Well, actually, he kind of is, BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT! Just calm down Colin.
{I don't get through to the little guy and he repeats the procedure. I slap my forehead in frustration, but then get an idea.}
Me: Hey Colin! See the money?
{I put a silver dollar next to him. He snaps out of his trance and is partially hypnotized by the coin.}
Colin: Ooohh, shiny!
Me: Ok, now that we calmed you down, I want to ask you a few questions.
Colin: Sure. Shiny coin.
Me: Right, now first question, how did you inherit all your money?
{Since Colin is hypnotized, he answers truthfully.}
Colin: I didn't inherit it. I stole most of it from Olaf's bank. I only inherited 1,000 gold.
{Audience gasps. Olaf ponders.}
Olaf: So THAT'S why I couldn't buy stuff when that advisor was training against me. COLIN! YOU'RE DEAD!
{He half runs half waddles toward Colin, who doesn't notice a thing since he's still entranced by that coin.}
Me: SECURITY!
{Two buffed up security men run up to Olaf and block his path.}
Security: Hut hut hut hut hut hut hut!
{They try to pick Olaf up, but he's so heavy they barely lift him an inch off the ground. They then use their pitiful little brains to decide to literally DRAG Olaf away.}
Security: Hut hut hut hut hut hut hut!
Olaf: Hey! Where're you taking me? SOMEONE HELP! I'M BEING MUGGED!
{Olaf is dragged out of the building.}
Me: Ok, ignoring that last event, second question, why did you join the Blue Moon army?
{Still in a daze, Colin replies.}
Colin: I joined the army because I wanted to get more money so I would be the richest kid in the world.
Me: I thought you joined because you looked up to Olaf and Grit.
Colin: I lied, I acted like I was looking up to them so I could steal their money and become richer.
{Everyone is shocked. Grit is frozen in place. Naval Ace stands up.}
Naval Ace: YOU TRAITOR! YOU'RE A TRAITOR TO BLUE MOON! DIE!
{Naval Ace starts shooting his AK-47. I jump and push Colin out of the way. A few bullets hit my arm.}
Me: ARRRGH! My arm! It's bleeding. NAVAL ACE!
{Naval Ace knows he made a mistake in shooting me, and cautiously hides behind a table.}
Me: You, will, DIE!
{I pull out my two revolvers despite my wounded arm and start shooting at the table like crazy. Naval Ace and I start to exchange a few shots.}
BANG BANG! RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT! BANG BANG!
KrOnIk-SpOoN: COOL! A GUN FIGHT! Time to put my rifle to work.
{KrOnIk-SpOoN Pulls out his Halo 2 Battle Rifle, not remembering his curse with guns. Naval Ace and I look at KrOnIk-SpOoN in horror. Everyone except us three and Colin run out of the building.}
Naval Ace and I: NO! DON'T SHOOT!
BAM!
{Too late, KrOnIk-SpOoN shoots the gun, causing a great, big explosion. Screen fades out. 5 minutes later, the screen fades back in to an annihilated stage with a few ambulances. KrOnIk-SpOoN is being pushed into one of them. The front of his body is black.}
KrOnIk-SpOoN: That was SO COOL! I gotta do that again!
{Naval Ace is also being wheeled into an ambulance, totally blacked but AK- 47 surprisingly unharmed.}
Naval Ace: Ow, my neck hurts. But at least my AK-47 is all right! Who's the best gun ever? You are!
{Colin is also being wheeled in, STILL dazed by the coin in front of him.}
Colin: Soon, once I'm rich enough, I will bribe Black Hole to take over the world and have me as commander-in-chief. Ha. Ha.
{And last but not least, I am being wheeled in, black all over, bleeding in the right arm, and revolvers without a scratch or a smudge.}
Me: COUGH! That's all the time, COUGH, we have left folks. Tune in for, COUGH, Green Earth on, COUGH, Advance Wars Interviews.
{The ambulances are filled and drive away, sirens blazing. Screen fades out.}
(This picture was made by Seal Productions. It is also sponsored by , where YOU make the stories.)
Me: Cough! And so ends the Blue Moon season.
Phoenix: Well, at least you won't use that stage anymore.
Me: Just, shut, up. Anyway, hope KrOnIk-SpOoN and Naval Ace liked the chapter! Naval Ace, no hard feelings about shooting me and me shooting you right? And KrOnIk-SpOoN, no hard feelings about blowing up the stage right?
Phoenix: No matter what they say, it was still funny.
Both: REVIEW PLEASE!