Me: Well what do you know? I'm doing a humor fic!
Phoenix: Bet it's going to suck.
Me: Quiet. Anyway, this will be my first humor fic so don't expect it to rock.
Phoenix: I expect it to suck.
Me: Shut up. Anyway, HOPE YOU LIKE IT!
Disclaimer: I don't own Advance Wars or the characters. Wish I did though.
Advance Wars Interviews
Chapter 1: Andy
{We see a stage with two orange couches, a table in between, and windows overlooking the Orange Star Capital.}
Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Welcome to, ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!
{Clapping and cheering in the background}
Announcer: Now put your hands together for your favorite author, MASTER OF THE PHOENIX!
{Clapping and cheers. I walk onto the stage in a tacky orange tuxedo}
Me: HELLO EVERYONE!
{Silence}
Me: What? What's wrong?
{I see them all looking at my suit.}
Me: Oh this? It was a discount from Colin. Well anyway, I'm Master of the Phoenix and I will be interviewing Advance Wars characters!
{Clapping}
Me: Now let's see, oh yes! Our first character is that famous mechanic we all know and love...
Random Audience Member: ANDY SUCKS!
Me: Um, yeah. ANYWAY! Put your hands together for ANDY!
{Clapping, a few cheers. Andy comes out waving his hands and acting like he won the Nobel Prize}
Andy: HI! I am very happy to be here today. I would like to thank Sami who drove me here tonight!
{Everyone looks on confused as Andy talks, giving random speeches. I have an embarrassed look on my face as I gently pick the talker up and put him on a couch.}
Me: Ok Andy, STOP TALKING!
{He abruptly stops with a confused look on his face}
Me: Right. Now Andy, can I ask you a few questions?
Andy: Ok, but do I get to use a lifeline?
{I'm confused, but then I realize what he's talking about.}
Me: No Andy, you don't get to use lifelines because this isn't a game show. This is an interview. Now, how old are you?
Andy: I'm eighteen!
{Audience gasps. I'm a little shocked myself}
Me: Wow, you seem way too energetic for an eighteen year old.
Andy: That's because I have Sami's super secret chocolate stash and I always eat ten bars in the morning.
{Audience is a little surprised. Sami is furious and starts stomping toward the stage.}
Sami: ANDY! I'LL KILL YOU!
{Andy waves at her like nothing's going on.}
Andy: Hi Sami!
{I am a little nervous that Sami will kill Andy. I yell out}
Me: SECURITY!
{Two buffed up guards run in}
Guards: Hut hut hut hut hut hut!
{{They pick up Sami by her arms and carry her away}
Guards: Hut hut hut hut hut hut!
Sami: HEY! Where're you taking me? I still have to kill Andy! HELP!
{Again, Andy doesn't seem too fazed by this scene.}
Andy: BYE SAMI! See you when I get back to the HQ!
Me: Right. Now um, why do you think Eagle hated you so much when Blue Moon was attacking Orange Star?
Andy: I think it had something to do with Sami and I. Maybe I was competition for him?
{Eagle is outraged.}
Eagle: HEY! You little twerp! That's not the reason! I thought you were attacking Green Earth! And there is nothing between Sami and I! We're just friends!
{Audience looks to Andy.}
Andy: Well, if you were such FRIENDS why were you and Sami giving each other strange looks and you were giving me jealous looks?
Audience: OOOOOH!
{Eagle is sweating and is looking a little embarrassed}
Eagle: That's not, true, that's, a lie.
{Eagle sinks down into his seat as red as a tomato.}
{I'm looking awed all this time. I turn to the cameraman.}
Me: Are we recording this?
{Cameraman gives thumbs-up.}
Me: EXCELLENT! Um, I mean, LAST QUESTION! Now Andy, is there anything going on between you and Sonja?
Andy: Well, tomorrow night we'll do something special!
Audience: OOOOH!
{Sonja is blushing considerably}
Me: Really? Care to share this "special night" with us?
{Audience is on the edge of their seats.}
Andy: Well, tomorrow night we will play chess! Isn't it amazing? I've never played chess before!
{Audience looks really disappointed. What? What did you THINK Andy and Sonja were going to do? Perverts.}
Me: Oh, I see. OH LOOK! We're all out of time! Thanks for being here Andy!
Andy: It's been a lot of fun!
{Audience hesitantly claps. Andy walks off the stage to where Sonja was waiting.}
Sonja: I thought we were going to do something else!
Andy: What else could we do? Play computer games? Watch TV?
Sonja: Not exactly.
{They walk away still talking.}
Me: Well, thanks for watching Advance Wars Interviews! I'm your host, Master of the Phoenix saying, SO LONG FOLKS!
{I walk off and audience is clapping. The screen fades out.}
(This picture was made by Seal Productions. It is also sponsored by FanFicton.Net, where YOU make the stories.)
Me: So how was that?
Phoenix: Meh, it was ok.
Me: Hey, do I see a smile on your face?
Phoenix: Well, um, OF COURSE YOU DO! I'm waiting for the reviews to come in and I know they will say this story sucked! That's why I'm smiling.
Me: Sure, whatever you say. Be nice in your reviews please. This is my first attempt at a humor fic. It's also a replacement for the Writer's Block cursed story, "The Legend of Zelda: Pirates and Men." I will try to update that story soon. But until then, you get to read this story.
Phoenix: Which sucks like (Gets punched) OW!
Me: Shut up please. Oh and REVIEW PLEASE!
Phoenix: Owie, I think some of my teeth were knocked out.
Phoenix: Bet it's going to suck.
Me: Quiet. Anyway, this will be my first humor fic so don't expect it to rock.
Phoenix: I expect it to suck.
Me: Shut up. Anyway, HOPE YOU LIKE IT!
Disclaimer: I don't own Advance Wars or the characters. Wish I did though.
Advance Wars Interviews
Chapter 1: Andy
{We see a stage with two orange couches, a table in between, and windows overlooking the Orange Star Capital.}
Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Welcome to, ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!
{Clapping and cheering in the background}
Announcer: Now put your hands together for your favorite author, MASTER OF THE PHOENIX!
{Clapping and cheers. I walk onto the stage in a tacky orange tuxedo}
Me: HELLO EVERYONE!
{Silence}
Me: What? What's wrong?
{I see them all looking at my suit.}
Me: Oh this? It was a discount from Colin. Well anyway, I'm Master of the Phoenix and I will be interviewing Advance Wars characters!
{Clapping}
Me: Now let's see, oh yes! Our first character is that famous mechanic we all know and love...
Random Audience Member: ANDY SUCKS!
Me: Um, yeah. ANYWAY! Put your hands together for ANDY!
{Clapping, a few cheers. Andy comes out waving his hands and acting like he won the Nobel Prize}
Andy: HI! I am very happy to be here today. I would like to thank Sami who drove me here tonight!
{Everyone looks on confused as Andy talks, giving random speeches. I have an embarrassed look on my face as I gently pick the talker up and put him on a couch.}
Me: Ok Andy, STOP TALKING!
{He abruptly stops with a confused look on his face}
Me: Right. Now Andy, can I ask you a few questions?
Andy: Ok, but do I get to use a lifeline?
{I'm confused, but then I realize what he's talking about.}
Me: No Andy, you don't get to use lifelines because this isn't a game show. This is an interview. Now, how old are you?
Andy: I'm eighteen!
{Audience gasps. I'm a little shocked myself}
Me: Wow, you seem way too energetic for an eighteen year old.
Andy: That's because I have Sami's super secret chocolate stash and I always eat ten bars in the morning.
{Audience is a little surprised. Sami is furious and starts stomping toward the stage.}
Sami: ANDY! I'LL KILL YOU!
{Andy waves at her like nothing's going on.}
Andy: Hi Sami!
{I am a little nervous that Sami will kill Andy. I yell out}
Me: SECURITY!
{Two buffed up guards run in}
Guards: Hut hut hut hut hut hut!
{{They pick up Sami by her arms and carry her away}
Guards: Hut hut hut hut hut hut!
Sami: HEY! Where're you taking me? I still have to kill Andy! HELP!
{Again, Andy doesn't seem too fazed by this scene.}
Andy: BYE SAMI! See you when I get back to the HQ!
Me: Right. Now um, why do you think Eagle hated you so much when Blue Moon was attacking Orange Star?
Andy: I think it had something to do with Sami and I. Maybe I was competition for him?
{Eagle is outraged.}
Eagle: HEY! You little twerp! That's not the reason! I thought you were attacking Green Earth! And there is nothing between Sami and I! We're just friends!
{Audience looks to Andy.}
Andy: Well, if you were such FRIENDS why were you and Sami giving each other strange looks and you were giving me jealous looks?
Audience: OOOOOH!
{Eagle is sweating and is looking a little embarrassed}
Eagle: That's not, true, that's, a lie.
{Eagle sinks down into his seat as red as a tomato.}
{I'm looking awed all this time. I turn to the cameraman.}
Me: Are we recording this?
{Cameraman gives thumbs-up.}
Me: EXCELLENT! Um, I mean, LAST QUESTION! Now Andy, is there anything going on between you and Sonja?
Andy: Well, tomorrow night we'll do something special!
Audience: OOOOH!
{Sonja is blushing considerably}
Me: Really? Care to share this "special night" with us?
{Audience is on the edge of their seats.}
Andy: Well, tomorrow night we will play chess! Isn't it amazing? I've never played chess before!
{Audience looks really disappointed. What? What did you THINK Andy and Sonja were going to do? Perverts.}
Me: Oh, I see. OH LOOK! We're all out of time! Thanks for being here Andy!
Andy: It's been a lot of fun!
{Audience hesitantly claps. Andy walks off the stage to where Sonja was waiting.}
Sonja: I thought we were going to do something else!
Andy: What else could we do? Play computer games? Watch TV?
Sonja: Not exactly.
{They walk away still talking.}
Me: Well, thanks for watching Advance Wars Interviews! I'm your host, Master of the Phoenix saying, SO LONG FOLKS!
{I walk off and audience is clapping. The screen fades out.}
(This picture was made by Seal Productions. It is also sponsored by FanFicton.Net, where YOU make the stories.)
Me: So how was that?
Phoenix: Meh, it was ok.
Me: Hey, do I see a smile on your face?
Phoenix: Well, um, OF COURSE YOU DO! I'm waiting for the reviews to come in and I know they will say this story sucked! That's why I'm smiling.
Me: Sure, whatever you say. Be nice in your reviews please. This is my first attempt at a humor fic. It's also a replacement for the Writer's Block cursed story, "The Legend of Zelda: Pirates and Men." I will try to update that story soon. But until then, you get to read this story.
Phoenix: Which sucks like (Gets punched) OW!
Me: Shut up please. Oh and REVIEW PLEASE!
Phoenix: Owie, I think some of my teeth were knocked out.