O YAY!!! Another Death Note fic ;) MWAHAHAH!! I wish I could love this series FOREVER!!!!! I'm serious... I'm soo so hooked on it! Obata is god, he has improved so much since Hikaru no Go (another past obsession) HAHAHAH!!!!! Erm.... Death Note, L and Raito OBVIOUSLY do not belong to me, they belong to genius Obata-sama! And warning are: YAOI!!!!! Mwahaha! Yum. RaitoxL yaoi is always good!
Trusting Kira
That morning, when Ryuuga stood in his usual spot beside Raito's desk, Raito noticed Ryuuga's startled expression when several girls had pushed him gently aside without knowing and engaged in a conversation with Raito. The girls flocked around Raito, around his perfect prodigy looks and his well-kept appearance. Amidst their constant giggling, although Raito did not miss an interval where he would be expected to give his friendly smile and polite comment, he found that he could not tear his eyes away from Ryuuga. The boy stood stiffly at the back, uncomfortable and unnoticed. Raito tried to keep his glances as discreet as possible, but he couldn't help but wonder whether Ryuuga noticed.
He didn't mind though, that he kept Ryuuga waiting sometimes.
"Oh Yagami-kun! You are so smart to not have fallen for that trick question on the test!" A girl simpered at his right. Raito smiled at her courteously, and she giggled delightfully.
"It wasn't that difficult... if you want, I could always--." Raito suddenly trailed off as his attention was torn away towards Ryuuga once more. A tall beautiful girl had approached Ryuuga and talked to him quietly at the back. Raito noticed with a lingering discomfort that their heads were bowed close towards each other, and he didn't fail to oversee long slender fingers that settled on Ryuuga's shoulder as the spoke.
"Um. O wait," Raito quickly ended, his gaze not falling from the two at the back, "I promised Ryuuga-kun that we would talk after school today." As he spoke, he already stood up and grabbed his books and bags efficiently. Ryuuga's attention snapped back the second his name was spoken, though he should have been at a distance to not have heard Raito's words. He excused himself from the pretty girl as well, and walked towards Raito to fall into step with the other man as they stepped out of the classroom.
The girls whispered about them afterwards, wondering about their strange relationship.
It was one of those rare occasions where that afternoon, as Ryuuga walked Raito home, they were almost fitted into this perfect surreal universe. A universe where there was no L and Kira or anything. It was only Ryuuga Hideki and Yagami Raito, the two of them as friends. They were spun into a web of silence as they walked slowly; Raito watched the street, L watched him. It was always that way.
Ryuuga peered at him curiously with his wide darkly-rimmed eyes, and even though Raito always found those eyes vaguely unsettling, he knew that he was getting used to it. Sometimes, he even found the attention on him pleasing. Raito was all for justice and everything, but like any other teenage boy, he also had a hungry thirst to be noticed. He wasn't attention seeking; but the knowledge that people knew about was like a warm cocoon that wrapped around him. It kept him safe, concaving him into an embrace protecting him from that deep frightening fear everyone has. Not being remembered. Not being noticed.
Raito shivered as he felt those dark eyes travelling down the length of his body, and up to his face again. It was strange how Ryuuga's gaze almost felt like a touch. It was a warm interested touch, like the hand of a curious young child discovering something new. Raito felt goose-bumps prickle at the nape of his neck even though the weather was tangy and warm; it sent a nervous tingle down his back.
"Do you like dogs?" Ryuuga suddenly asked; he spoke with a rising lilt that made Raito realize he spoke merely to break the tension. Raito appreciated the effort though, and he tiled his head to a side to return Ryuuga's gaze, wetting his lips lightly as he stared point-blank into those puzzling eyes. Raito paused a little, before he answered.
"I don't really know. I've never had one before." The reply was rather stale and final, Raito noticed, he sounded like he was breaking off conversation before it even started. He noticed with a pang of regret that he wished he had thought of something better to say. Ryuuga didn't answer, nor did he miss a step, and he didn't break his gaze either. Raito let that thought travel to his head, and he smiled to himself ruefully for no reason. He caught himself though, so that the smile flickered mildly only for a second before it sunk back into his impressive mask.
Ryuuga's answer came unexpectedly, likely because it took several minutes to arise. "If you've never had a dog, have you ever had a pet?" Raito was a little startled, and he didn't look at Ryuuga this time when the other man spoke. He merely looked up to the pale sky; the passionate hues of reds and oranges were slowly dissolving in the arriving night. Dark shades of blues took its place, a complimentary colour.
As he looked at the sky, he thought about what Ryuuga asked. Did Ryuuku count as a pet? Raito liked to think that the shinigami was his dog, following obediently around with him. Raito decided that Ryuuku resembled a hopeful puppy sometimes; whenever he wanted a treat, he would stare up imploringly at Raito and beg silently with his eyes- likely for a tasty apple.
/Hey! I can hear your thoughts!/ Ryuuku said indignantly beside Raito, glaring angrily at the man. Raito had almost forgotten that the shinigami was behind him, and he smirked inside his head.
"Only once. It was a dog." Raito said carelessly.
/Hey!/
L looked interested, he was intrigued in anything that involved Raito. " Oh, was it a nice dog?"
"It was rather cute I guess," Raito answered grudgingly, thinking briefly before he spoke. He could feel Ryuuku in conflict with whether he shouldn't be insulted or pleased at the compliment. "I liked when he begged for apples, he would put on the most pained face, like he was starving for it and whimper and complain until I tossed him one."
Ryuuga laughed, and his dry chuckle was very appealing, Raito found. It was deep, rumbling and full and had a very pleasant-ring to it. Raito smiled benignly in return, smoothing his shirt self-consciously. He liked to look at Ryuuga whenever he laughed, because it was only then when he would take his eyes off Raito. And Raito would be given a brief chance to study the other man, as he was now. Raito's eyes quickly swept over Ryuuga, noticing small details. Like the smooth pale line of Ryuuga's neck as he tilted his head back in a chuckle, and the way Ryuuga's hair fell softy back from his lidded eyes. He liked to look at the hollow in the other man's throat, slightly concaved to spoon into a small round surface.
At times like these, Raito liked to forget about the whole stressful affair of Kira and L, and just concentrate on his strange yet uniquely satisfying relationship with Ryuuga. He didn't like being burdened by the constant suspicion of the other man, and he wondered countless times about what would have happen if they had met under different circumstances. Where they weren't who they were, but at the same time... were themselves. Likely moments after these thoughts, Raito would resentfully shake these ponders out of his head, angry that he had even thought of this. Remember, Raito reminded himself all the time, L is your enemy, and Ryuuga is likely L, which makes Ryuuga your enemy. He couldn't let down his guard at all.
He didn't remind himself this time though; he just let himself think.
By the time they reached Raito's house, Raito's mother opened the door, and her expression brightened at the sight of L. She graciously offered for L to stay for dinner, she offered every day, and every day, the man declined. Every time Ryuuga turned down the offer, Raito didn't say anything. But today was different.
"No, you should stay for dinner." Raito said silently after L declined as usual. Eyes smouldering, L turned away from Ms.Yagami and looked at him with tightly concealed emotion. Raito caught a small flicker of surpise in those black eyes though, and he felt strangely pleased. His mother looked rather shocked at Raito's assistance with the invitation as well, but she covered it up quickly with a warm smile.
"See? I'm sure you'll love my cooking, if that's what you're worrying about." She winked playfully at Ryuuga. Ryuuga offered a crooked smile in the direction of her, but his eyes remained fixed on Raito.
"Maybe today," Ryuuga started, still staring at Raito for any sort of sign, "Maybe today, I will stay." Ryuuga ended finally, shrugging his slender shoulders. One side of his mouth curled up, and he followed Ms.Yagami in; Raito trailed closely behind. Raito didn't let himself wonder why he had chosen to let Ryuuga come into his house, he knew that letting L into any more personal part of his life would only cause more trouble. He knew that by letting Ryuuga in, he had already heightened their relationship to an entirely different level. What he didn't know was whether he wanted that to happen.
When they walked in, Raito and Ryuuga both took off their shoes and placed it neatly against the wall. Raito's mother had already walked into the kitchen to prepare something for them to eat.
"You're back aniki!" Sami bounded into the room happily, suddenly stopping at the sight of Ryuuga. Her cheeks coloured, and she looked nervously to her brother. "Aa. You are Raito's friend?" Sami said softly, her eyes rounded as she took in the young man beside her brother. Ryuuga nodded curtly at her, flashing a quick smile.
"Yes. I'm Ryuuga Hideki." Ryuuga told her politely. Raito could almost see Sami admiring Ryuuga, likely noticing the same qualities he discovered himself. Sami smiled happily, swallowing a gasp. This Hideki was exactly her type, so cute and intriguing at the same time. Raito could read her thoughts exactly, and a flash of jealousy ran through him instantly. It was the same sort of discomfort he had felt when he saw the beautiful girl talk to Ryuuga at school. He didn't know why, but he was suddenly compelled to keep Sami away from Ryuuga. Or vice versa. Raito tried to tell himself that he wanted to do it only because it would ward suspicion off his sister.
"Sorry Sami, but I think I have to excuse myself and Ryuuga-kun, we have some things to talk about. We'd be up in my room in you need us." Raito quickly interrupted before Sami spoke. He glanced pointedly at Ryuuga and walked towards the stairs. He didn't look back, but he heard Ryuuga whisper softly to Sami a word of thanks. He drew a breath of relief when he heard the familiar dragging footsteps follow behind him. They walked up the narrow set of stairs slowly, in an awkward silence. Raito felt the familiar eyes burning on his back once again, not daring to look back. Once again, Ryuuga struck up conversation.
"Your sister, she seems like a nice girl." Ryuuga commented, his raspy low voice did not betray any emotion other than curious inquiry.
"She is." Raito answered, narrowing his eyes. His voice echoed off the dark walls, and they resumed back in silence. When Raito got to the top of the stairs, he found that his heart was racing, and his brow was flushed and moist with perspiration. He didn't wonder why. He smoothly led Ryuuga to his room.
/Be careful. Don't let him close to the Death Note./ Ryuuku warned softly beside him, tapping him lightly on his shoulder. Raito understood that, and he also knew that if Ryuuga were really L, he would have memorized his room from all four corners.
Raito took his usual seat in front of his desk, and Ryuuga sat awkwardly on Raito's bed, his darkly ringed eyes still locked on Raito's face. They faced each other in silence for a few seconds, and Raito wondered whether Ryuuga was also battling with himself with the decision of whether he should bring up the topic of Kira. Luckily, both of them did not.
"Who was that girl, who was speaking to you?" Raito found himself asking. He cursed himself afterwards for asking such a personal question, though he was genuinely curious. L looked surprised at the unexpected question, not only because it came so suddenly, but also because such words were unusual from Yagami.
L answered slowly. "She's a girl who has been having trouble in class lately, she wanted help with her work from me." Raito's eyebrows went up slowly, and he tilted his head in thought. He didn't give a reply, so L found it necessary to ask why Raito had asked such a question.
"Have you ever thought about the possibility that she may be using you?" Raito answered softly, when L requested a reply. L was shocked at what the other man had said, and also found himself mildly offended. His eyes rounded even more if possible, and there was a flash of anger and irritation in them.
"What made you come to the conclusion of such a possibility?" L replied coldly, aghast that Raito could even suggest such a thing. But his shock was mostly seeded from the fact that he would not at all expect such behaviour from Yagami, it seemed strange to think that he should think this way.
Raito flinched a little at Ryuuga's biting tone.
"Would that give me leeway to say the same for you? That the girls only seek to take advantage of you when they too speak to you? Or are you an exception?" L continued. But his tone softened a little at Raito's apologetic expression.
"I didn't mean that at all. I'm sorry it sounded that way." Raito quickly tried to explain what he had meant.
Ryuuga only shrugged. They were hit by another spell of silence.
Suddenly, L realized something. And that realization made his stomach curl with excitement, and his body flush with desire.
Raito's eyes still travelled over his face worriedly, not meaning to offend. Ryuuga let the tip of his tongue slid out at the corner of his mouth, and he drew his feet to rest them on the bed and rest his chin on his knees. Raito wondered vaguely whether this was a sign of acceptance, and he felt a rush of warmth tingle against his spine when he saw the small spot of pink flesh against Ryuuga's lips.
"Why did you ask that?" L suddenly asked. Another unexpected question, and Raito froze.
"What?" He said, though he heard clearly what the other man had said.
"Why did you ask? About the girl?" L's wrist flexed as he lifted his hand up to his face and drifted his thumb over his lips. Raito found himself entranced as the lips slowly opened to reveal small white teeth that bit gently on the thumb. Raito opened his mouth to say something, but nothing really came out.
"Tell me...?" L whispered hoarsely, his eyes unblinking and more tender than usual. Raito wet his dry lips again, letting his tongue swipe over pink flesh.
"I- I don't know. I guess I was just concerned for you." Raito said slowly, thinking over his words before he spoke. He suddenly realized his dangerous situation. Here they were alone in his bedroom, Ryuuga sitting on his bed, the Death Note sitting only several feet away from the two of them. What shocked Raito the most though, was that he didn't even give a damn. All he could care about was Ryuuga's soft eyes on him, and his dark tousled hair.
Rewind. Ryuuga sitting on his bed, with his bedroom eyes and messy hair; Raito suddenly felt warm blood rush down to his midsection and pool uncomfortably there. Damn.
L didn't answer, nor did he look shocked. He merely gazed levelly at Raito, and suddenly stood up in his terrible posture. He walked to Raito and peered down at him blankly.
"You were concerned for me?" His voice had an indifferent tone.
Raito swallowed at the repetition, and cursed himself for showing such a sign of submission.
"Someone as intelligent as you shouldn't be easily taken advantage of like that." Raito finally whispered out, his voice deeper than usual. L suddenly leaned over, and lowered his head so it would be level with Raito's face. His eyes spun into Raito's, dark and forbidding, the simple absolution of blackness.
"Are you taking advantage of me then?" L replied softly.
Raito fought to think more about this question, and about the complications his answer would bring forth. But he was already lost in Ryuuga's eyes, and his answer was disturbingly finite.
"No." The word was breathed over L's lips, gently and sensuously. L shivered visibly, and Raito felt a pang of success. L moved forward even more, so that their noses brushed against each other, and their eyes were unable to move away from one another. He whispered four more words.
"Can I trust you?"
Before L gave a chance for Raito to answer, two arms came down on either side of him and soft pliant lips were pressed together. Once Raito got past his initial shock, his breath hitched as something near exploded in him; Something that fought desperately to reveal itself and break through the barrier of hate and disposition.
A flame of burning energy soared in both of them, desire snaking heavily in their stomachs, both heightening and numbing the sensitivity of their senses. It was strange and frightening, and there was something so wrong about what they were doing. As well as deliciously complete.
Raito took the liberty of dominating the kiss, responding immediately and snaking his tongue through the seam of L's closed lips and into the hot wetness of his mouth. As his tongue traced symbols and caressed every inch of L's mouth and tongue, a spark of desire lit his senses when L's tongue brushed in answer against his own.
There was so much he could feel, his heart pounding rapidly against his ears and chest. L's skin prickling with heat, flush against his own skin. Raito leaned forward further more, so that their body's pressed even more closely. His fingers trembled a little as wrapped around the back of L's head, soft strands of hair under his hand. L moaned softly when Raito slid his mouth away from his lips and began to trail his lips down the side of L's face.
Raito noticed with increasing satisfaction, he had been waiting and wanting to do this for a long time. The noises L made as Raito scrapped his teeth across his neck fed to the fire burning in his loins. Raito sucked wetly at L's throat, sliding his tongue across the marks he left behind with his open-mouth kisses. When he reached the nape of Ryuuga's neck, he glided his tongue gently across the hollow of his throat and pressed his lips there. He marked every place that stole his attention every time he looked at L, Raito noticed with rising desire.
L suddenly tucked his fingers under Raito's chin, and urged him back up. Raito complied, dragging his tongue along the side of his face before kissing L urgently once more.
A knock suddenly knocked their attentions away from each other.
"Raito? Ryuuga-san? You two in there? Dinner is ready!" Sami called from outside the door. Raito tore his mouth away, his face flushed with desire and his breathing heavy.
"Y-Yes!!!" Raito muttered, standing up and pushing L back. He wiped his mouth frantically. "Uh, we'll be out in a minute." L stood in front of him, his dark orbs still glazed with passion, his pale skin flushed delicately. His breathing was shallow as Raito responded to the blatant hunger in L's eyes, and he turned his head away quickly.
/You kissed him./ Ryuuku commented happily beside him, stating the obvious.
"We have to go now, and eat." Raito managed to say, averting his eyes away from L. He smoothed his clothing again, not out of habit this time. L nodded quietly. Raito took a deep breath, tried to steal back his composure and walked towards the door.
L followed him. Raito paused as he put his hand on the doorknob, emotions battling within him. He looked back at L once more, knowing in he would likely regret his actions. He was Kira. He would always be Kira. Just like Ryuuga would always be L. But the taste of the forbidden fruit is always the sweetest, even if it was painfully cliché.
"You can... trust me." Raito finally said softly, eyes smouldering and intense.
L stared at him blankly for a few seconds, before his face broke into a crooked smile.
Raito wondered, whether it was worth it.
TBC...
My characterization is kinda crap ;; so yes! I realize that, before anyone wants to go badgering me about how out of character they two of them are. HAHAHAH!!! But this is actually.... Well the storyline for the doujinshi I'm drawing! Obviously, some things may be changed in the doujinshi, but it pretty much follows the story!!!! MWAHAHAH!!!!! RAITO AND L ARE SOOOOO HOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE DEATH NOTE!!! DIE SECOND DEATH NOTE HOLDER!!!!! (whoops, spoiler ;))